
Posted originally on the Archive_of_Our_Own at https://archiveofourown.org/
works/877759.
  Rating:
      Explicit
  Archive Warning:
      Choose_Not_To_Use_Archive_Warnings, Graphic_Depictions_Of_Violence, Rape/
      Non-Con, Underage
  Category:
      M/M
  Fandom:
      CW_Network_RPF, Supernatural_RPF
  Relationship:
      Jensen_Ackles/Jared_Padalecki, Jared_Padalecki/Original_Male_Character,
      Misha_Collins/Original_Female_Character
  Character:
      Jared_Padalecki, Jensen_Ackles, Misha_Collins, Original_Characters, Jeff
      Padalecki
  Additional Tags:
      Alternate_Universe_-_Dark, Alternate_Universe, Alternate_Universe_-
      Slavery, Slavery, Mpreg, Alternate_History, Rape/Non-con_References,
      Violence, Physical_Abuse, Emotional/Psychological_Abuse, Hurt/Comfort,
      Bottom_Jared, Heavy_Angst, Male_Lactation, Milking, Time_Travel, graphic
      birth, Miscarriage, Blood, Blood_and_Torture, Alternate_Universe_-
      Dystopia, Wordcount:_Over_100.000, Angst_with_a_Happy_Ending, Character
      Death, Not_Really_Character_Death, references_to_past_character_death
  Series:
      Part 1 of It_Takes_Verse
  Collections:
      SPN_littlebro
  Stats:
      Published: 2013-07-10 Completed: 2014-08-04 Chapters: 74/74 Words: 156918
****** It Takes a lot of Water ******
by compo67
Summary
     This is an AU where humans are split in two categories: powerful,
     dominant Masters and submissive, fertile breeders. First breeders and
     second breeders occupy each household in a precarious balance. This
     is Jared's household and his story. Reads like a/b/o. Completed.
Notes
     HUGE trigger warnings for non-con/rape, slavery, emotional/physical
     abuse, graphic violence.
     This is very different from what I've posted here before. If darker
     contents disturb you, this is not your fic. Read with caution. PLEASE
     make sure you read ALL the tags before proceeding. The first seven
     chapters in particular are very graphic.
     I am a sucker for angst and h/c. Constructive feedback is
     appreciated.
     ***Edit: I have a tumblr! It's compo67.tumblr.com. You can find out
     ways on how to support me outside of AO3, and ask me questions!***
***** Three Pails *****
Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes
It was his chore to tend to the gardens.
They needed to be weeded, watered, picked, and trimmed.
In eighty degree heat at noon, while six months heavy with a litter, the chore
was becoming increasingly difficult for Jared. He was filthy—covered in old
layers of sweat, dirt, come, and blood—and had spent his morning outside
longing to turn the watering can upside down on his head.  Breeders were not
allowed the luxury of wasting water intended for their Master’s land. Master
would know and it is not worth the risk; neither was it worth mulling over and
wasting time. Jared forced himself to stop thinking about his own comfort.
Vegetables for dinner don’t pick themselves.
Hands rough, cracked, and bleeding, Jared dug into the soil, small grunts with
every movement. He paused every few minutes to catch his breath and adjust
himself. His belly wasn’t as big as it should be with the litter he was
carrying, but it was big enough to get in the way and make his chores painful.
The last Doctor to visit had paid him two minutes of attention; enough to
proclaim to Jared’s Master that they would make the yearly quota for pups, and
that he expected Jared to carry to term. There were supposedly six heart beats
inside him. Jared sat back for a moment to wipe the sweat from his eyes. He
placed a hand on the top curve of his belly. Six new lives for the government.
Six hearts he would never see or feel again after birth.
The sound of a carriage pulling up snapped him back to his present task. His
bin was almost full.
Hurriedly, ignoring the pain, he dug up three more carrots and wrestled them
from their roots. It required creative maneuvering to stand and pick up the
bin, but he managed. Waddling as quickly as possible, he slipped into the
kitchen from the back porch door. The soft silk slippers he wore made no noise
as he padded over to the largest sink. With effort and a somewhat loud grunt,
he managed to dump the vegetables in. Three buckets of water had been pulled
earlier in the day—before the sun had too much of a chance to burn—and one was
used to wash his harvest.
This was all part of what he had been born to do.
Despite their handicaps, his hands completed the task efficiently.
The only sounds in the kitchen were of his peeling, scrubbing, and labored
breathing. By the time he finished he was drawing ragged breaths, shaking
slightly.
He had attended one of the best academies for breeders, where he had excelled
at all of his studies. High marks had been given to him in cooking, cleaning,
sewing, service, and obedience. Most of his peers had admired him for being so
talented and eager to please. He gave his best at everything.
It was better not to think about those times.
Jared sighed and sank to the floor, promising himself he would rest for only a
moment—a small moment, just one. He closed his eyes and tried to access a calm
place inside his mind. It was hidden away and locked from him, but eventually
found. As he began to settle, he heard himself wheeze.
Cutting through the sound of anything else, the front doorbell rang. Panicked,
Jared awkwardly stood up, beginning to slice the vegetables into appropriate
sizes. They were having guests tonight. A menu had been given to him to follow
exactly, with threats that if it was not up to standard, he would spend the
night in the trash bin with the failed food.
A few glances over at the trash bin, the bottom of which had turned into a
murky green color, were motivation enough. Cut faster. Light the oven. Do
better.
These were his chores and he would see them done properly, as Master wished it
so.
 
“Jared! I want to change the entrée.”
“Change it?” Jared asked hastily, without thought. “Yes, of course.”
“These are extremely important guests, Jared,” Nathaniel said, excitedly
clapping his hands together. “We should have something grand! Rich! We want to
impress our guests, not feed them some paltry country dish.” The country dish
on the original menu Jared had painstakingly put together called for every
vegetable he had spent the entire morning digging and pulling from the earth,
but he was forbidden from questioning the first breeder’s decision. Nathaniel
walked over and handed Jared a revised menu, declaring, “I am sure you can
manage just fine.”
With only glance at it, Jared’s mouth hung open in shock and panic. “But…
but sir,” he gasped. “A meal like that will take hours and I still need to…”
Nathaniel smacked him once across the right side of his face, stinging and
causing his vision to falter.
“You make things so difficult, Jared! Do as you are told! It’s not my
responsibility to manage your time. Get to it.” With that, the first breeder
marched out of the kitchen, towards an unknown destination elsewhere in the
household.
Alone, Jared nodded to no one and set the piece of cream-colored cardstock down
on the nearest and cleanest countertop. He dipped a rag into the dirty pail of
water he had used to wash the vegetables and held it to his cheek, carefully
reading through each course, assessing what he had on hand and what he might
have to stretch. If he used stronger wine on the roast, he hoped it would be
enough to make the beef as tender as possible. He would need to prepare a
simple side dish for such a heavy entrée, but he figured roasted vegetables
might balance it out nicely.
As he leaned against the counter, a few of the pups kicked and shifted, causing
him to shudder. It felt strange, even though he had carried them this far. The
sensation of life inside him was difficult to get accustomed to. They were
getting more active by the day—a good sign, but their movements were sometimes
painful. Think positively, Jared chided himself, rubbing the underside of his
belly and taking as deep of a breath as he could. At least he wasn’t throwing
up every hour anymore.
Being the first breeder of the household, Nathaniel only carried one child per
term, and the two breeders were nearly the same in the number of weeks along
they were. Jared often wondered if it felt better to only have the weight of
one pressing down on his ribs.
Jared forced his emotions aside and ignored the bitter taste in his mouth. With
a scrub to his face and an adjustment to his robes, he decided that it was time
to get to work. He would make this menu work no matter what.
 
The rest of the afternoon was spent in a dizzying blur, spent cleaning,
preparing, cooking, and serving Nathaniel. The first breeder didn’t allow Jared
to touch anything on the table, preferring to set it himself, but he did order
Jared to polish the silver thoroughly before placing it on the delicate
tablecloth, which Jared had hand washed the previous day.
Polishing every piece of silver until it shone was the most peaceful part of
Jared’s day, after all of his running around. He focused on the forks the most,
concerned about each prong.
Working in the dining room, Nathaniel chatted, not caring if Jared was
listening or not. “Madison and I are dining with Meridian’s newest Doctor
tonight.” Jared did listen, in case something was brought up that he should
know about, but paid more attention to the time. He would have to check on the
beef soon. “Madison says he’s extremely well-connected and wealthy, perfect for
our acquaintance, naturally.” From his place on the floor, rag in hand, Jared
glanced up at the first breeder, who had set out stationary to write out
elegant, gold place cards. “If Madison decides he likes the Doctor, he will
become our family’s physician, and from what I hear, he’s quite handsome. I’ve
also heard that he hasn’t taken a first breeder yet, so I suppose it will be my
duty to properly introduce him to the few adequate ones I know. We are so rare
these days, I swear. Quality is quite uncommon.”
Nathaniel continued on, pleased by the sound of his voice, gossiping about the
first breeders in town and who he thought might make a suitable match. Jared
took an opportunity to crawl over towards the kitchen, unnoticed once again, to
check on the beef.
Any breeder could be a first breeder—the only breeder who held a position of
any power and command in a household—but it was a title fiercely fought for.
Many first breeders came from families of wealth and connections, so that a
match would be advantageous to their Masters and future offspring.
Thinking of this, Jared burned himself on the oven, but hardly reacted to the
pain.
 
Once the beef was tended to and the vegetables slid in alongside, he prepared a
large salad and a light gravy. Master would be in charge of the wine and liquor
for the evening, but Jared had a pail of cold water ready to be poured into a
crystal pitcher alongside the alcoholic selections. The icebox held dessert,
which had thankfully not been changed from the original menu. Jared had spent
the better part of yesterday preparing it. All he had to do now was melt
chocolate and drizzle over the tray of creamy napoleons.
Finished in the kitchen, prepared as much as he could be, Jared tread lightly
back into the dining room. Nathaniel had stopped chatting, and had started
humming contentedly to himself, finishing the place cards. He had an elegant
hand for it, one that Jared knew he could not pull off. There were only two
guests for the night—making the party four total—but Jared gathered that
tonight was particularly important to his Master, judging by the amount of
trouble the household was going through for the evening. Befriending this new
Doctor would be beneficial to their household, but most importantly to their
Master. Jared wasn’t exactly sure how this would bring them all profit, because
second breeders didn’t need to know such things, but he was determined to be on
his best behavior for the evening and serve his household well.
Only six months had passed since Jared was purchased and brought here from the
kennels. There had been many opportunities for him to learn, but he still found
himself making mistakes. As the doorbell rang again, Jared resolved himself to
be more like Nathaniel. He could learn a lot from the first breeder, who got up
from his chair elegant and without having to pause for breath. Answering the
door was Nathaniel’s responsibility, but Jared followed, in case he was needed.
As he approached the door, Nathaniel thrust a large bouquet of flowers into
Jared’s arms. He winced, as it hurt his belly, but managed to carry the flowers
into the dining room.
“Don’t touch them any further,” Nathaniel snapped, motioning for Jared to
leave. “I’ll handle them.”
Jared nodded and went to finish the rest of his chores for the day. At six, he
had everything that needed to be warm inside the oven at a low temperature. The
salad, starters, and finished dessert were sitting in the icebox, ready and
perfectly arranged. He was trembling with fatigue, but he had managed to
complete everything required of him and more. He hoped someone would do the
kindness of taking notice of the quality of the food, even if it was a small
mention of how perfectly cooked the beef was. There were cheese and pear
soufflés for starters, a light salad tossed with shrimp, beef wellington for
the entrée, roasted vegetables for a side, and napoleons for dessert. His
stomach rumbled with hunger as he dragged himself away from the kitchen at
Nathaniel’s call.
“For god’s sake Jared, wash up! You’re a disgrace looking like that!” the
screech of displeasure caught Jared off guard.
Flinching, Jared bowed slightly and muttered out, “But Master said not to…”
“Leave that to me,” Nathaniel sniffed. His nose scrunched at the scent of
Jared. “I am ordering you to wash up! I won’t be serving. I can’t in my
condition. You can do it. Provided you that you don’t spill anything. Now go,
they’ll be here any moment!”
Though he wanted to protest, or at least ask Nathaniel to consider, Jared
didn’t have the energy. He had been looking forward to spending the evening out
of sight and unneeded, but something in his head told him that the opposite
would happen.
 
Leaving the kitchen, Jared reprimanded himself. He should be proud to serve his
household in any capacity needed. He could get through this dinner. He could.
Chapter End Notes
     please be sure to continue keeping the tags in mind for this fic as
     you read through. <3
***** Tiles *****
There were two places Jared was allowed to occupy in the household: a pallet at
the foot of his Master’s bed and small closet tucked away in the back of the
house. The closet was big enough for him to sit in, but nothing more. When it
came to space, he much preferred the pallet, even if Nathaniel protested his
presence most nights. Jared didn’t care if he had to listen to his Master and
the first breeder be intimate with each other; the pallet allowed him to
stretch out more so than the closet. Shadows could be seen from underneath the
door, and they frightened Jared. He could never guess whose shadow it was that
he saw throughout the night.
The tub in Master’s bathroom was one of two in the entire household that had
running water; all others required pails of water to be brought up. Jared found
running water fascinating. He had never seen such a thing in a household before
arriving here last year, not even at the academy. His only recollection of
water without a well was part of a series of memories he had blocked out and
pushed back in his mind. There were many memories like that.
In awe, Jared smiled as he watched the tub in Master’s bathroom to fill up with
warm water. He didn’t have to draw up pails of water for his Master’s bath, it
simply happened with the twist of a few knobs.
He was permitted to use Master’s tub once a month. Jared thought back
carefully, and knew that he hadn’t yet used his turn—most days a pail was
adequate for a quick wash. However, now seemed like an appropriate time. The
knobs did their magic and soon the tub was ready to be used. It hurt to
submerge himself, but gradually, the water around him felt exquisite. This was
the closest he could get to indulgence. Jared massaged his belly with one
careful hand. The constant pain in his back from carrying the litter eased up
enough for him to relax.
After a minute of sitting contentedly in the water, he made quick work at
scrubbing away at himself. He felt like one of the potatoes he had washed and
peeled earlier—slippery, raw.
The household had eight bedrooms, a dining room, a drawing room, a small
library, and a cellar. It was Jared’s responsibility to keep all of them tidy
every day, with a proper cleaning once a week, usually on Thursdays, though
sometimes Nathaniel would change it to Fridays. Every layer of dirt and dust
from a week of chores washed away, leaving the bathwater cloudy. The blood,
come, and sweat were a more stubborn set of stains to remove, but eventually
yielded. Even the knots in his hair worked themselves out with attention.
Relieved, Jared shut his eyes.
Being clean was the best feeling. The pups had settled. All was still in the
bathroom. He even dared to wiggle his toes.
The blade of a voice carved through his tranquility. “I thought I had told you
not to wash.”
Jared’s eyes and mouth snapped open. He flinched at the sound of his Master’s
voice and could not stammer out a proper response. It wasn’t that his Master
was bad—Masters could never be bad. Only second breeders were bad.
And in their household, only Jared was bad.
Five minutes later, one of the memories he had locked away crept up and became
searing, brutal, crunching reality. Having his head held underwater did not
numb him to the sensation of his arm being broken.
Snap. Crack. Pop.
By the roots of his hair, Jared was lifted up, out of the water, and dragged
over the side of the tub. He screamed and sobbed, aware of the slap his wet
skin made against the tile. His face was red from the lack of air and his
struggle; he cradled his useless arm underneath him, the only thing between his
belly and the hard, unforgiving floor.
Using nothing but force, Master shoved inside Jared. There was no hesitation
and not an ounce of strength was held back. Jared felt his eyes roll back; all
he could see was the white ceiling above them. Fucked on the bathroom floor, no
prayer or distracting thought could be mustered.
As his fingers began to twitch from pain, Jared felt his Master come inside
him. And for a moment, Jared felt happy because of it. He was performing one of
the most crucial duties in this household. For that, he should be grateful.
 
He was left on the bathroom floor, bleeding, wet, and broken. 
***** Garnished *****
Nathaniel complained about Jared’s arm. Master snapped at the first breeder to
make do.
As they prepared for the evening in Nathaniel’s dressing room, Nathaniel hissed
to Jared. “Don’t think that this gets you out of serving.” The first breeder
was kind enough, however, to provide Jared with a sling to place his arm in, so
that Jared could work without it being in the way. No comments were made about
how Jared looked.
“Yes sir,” Jared whispered. He picked up the first flower to place in
Nathaniel’s hair.
 
Second breeders healed in a short amount of time. Any cut or break would be
remedied by the breeder’s own body. Jared had had his fingers broken before,
but never his arm. The purpling marks all over the fracture told Jared this was
an extensive injury. He guessed it would take at least a week to heal, if he
kept it in the sling as much as possible.
Jared was grateful that his Master had seen it best to break his left arm
instead of his dominant right.
Despite only having one arm available, Jared finished styling Nathaniel’s hair
and decided that it look quite lovely.
Wearing his own standard robe, Jared slowly walked down to the kitchen to
practice lifting things, trying to find a balance. His movements were delayed,
but he didn't drop anything in his first few attempts. Pride bloomed, but faded
quickly as he heard the doorbell ring and Nathaniel’s hurried footsteps
following after. Jared caught a quick glimpse of Nathaniel before he turned a
corner, towards the door. Beautiful. Nathaniel was dressed in gold silk robes,
draped in a manner that signified their class and household rank. Slim gold
bracelets decorated his arms so that he jingled in a pleasant, happy way. Jared
also noticed that Nathaniel was also wearing gold powder on his face, to
accentuate his eyes.
Breeders were made to be beautiful—pleasing in every aspect of their existence.
Jared knew he wasn’t beautiful, nor was he charming, but he still clung to a
small hope that maybe one day he would fit into his role. Somewhere, a Master
might see him for the value he could bring to a household. Until then, he would
continue to be grateful for all that Master and Nathaniel provided him with,
and their guidance as he grew into maturity. Yes, it was best to be
appreciative.
In the kitchen, in his place, he focused on serving and garnishing plates. He
had constructed two trays of delicate appetizers, little things that could be
eaten without making a mess. Their assembly had required steady hands, so he
felt glad that he had prepared them before the situation with his arm occurred.
Positive. Stay positive, he instructed himself, breathing in and out as he
carried one tray at a time to the sitting room.
With the utmost care and attention to detail, he set them down and disappeared
as his Master and guests entered.
 
Jared was not to look at the guests. No direct eye contact—he was to keep his
head down in a respectful manner, as was appropriate for a second breeder. If
he performed well tonight, he would never see the faces of their guests.
Serving them would be done according to the inflection of their voices, the
sounds of their silverware on their plates, and his instinctive knowledge that
they were thirsty and required a refill. All of these skills had been taught to
him at the academy.
Half an hour was spent in the sitting room before the dinner party moved to the
dining room. Jared did not linger in the sitting room, since there was nothing
to refill for that moment. Instead, he spent that time plating the starters,
garnishing as best he could with one hand and his belly in the way. He took two
plates at a time, one precariously balanced on his belly and the other in his
good hand. Obediently, he kept his head lowered as he walked into the dining
room. The set-up was beautiful, with candles strategically placed throughout
the dining room. They cast a warm, soothing glow over everything.
Tradition dictated that he serve his Master first, then the guest to his
Master’s right, then the next guest, and then Nathaniel. The first course was a
simple soufflé he had prepared early this morning, before the sun was up. They
looked delicate, airy, and inviting, simply arranged on Master’s best china
set. Jared bent, left, right, left right, maintaining his balance as he set
down the plates. Attentive, he listened to the party chat and pick up
silverware.  He knelt down on a pillow in the corner of the room, one hand
under his belly, trying to keep his breathing as quiet as possible.
As the first course progressed, Jared kept watch of Nathaniel’s feet under the
table. There was a system first and second breeders were supposed to follow,
small signs that they could make to each other to help communication. So far,
Nathaniel made no such moves, but Jared was ready for them. His stomach rumbled
in hunger—when was the last time he’d eaten?—and the pups kicked, but Jared
made no sound or movement. Good second breeders were neither seen nor heard
during dinner.
Two bites into the soufflé, Master served wine. A piece of bread was then
tossed over to Jared’s corner by Master, which was a sign that the soufflé was
up to standard. Master tossed a few more in the minutes after, and Jared ate
them all without a sound, picking them up off the floor with care and
gratitude. If he was lucky, Master would toss him a piece of beef tonight.
“He doesn’t eat with you?” This was a question from one of the guests.
“Of course not,” Nathaniel laughed. “My dear, you really are out of sorts here!
Did you not have second breeders back East?”
“No… no such practice, I assure you,” the same guest replied, their tone more
reserved. Did he need more wine? Jared wished Nathaniel would signal something.
“What strange customs,” the other guest chipped in. This guest’s voice was
lighter, less serious.
“No stranger than yours,” Nathaniel teased in reply.
Just then, Jared heard his Master put down his fork with a different weight to
it. It signified that he was done with his first course. Heaving himself up,
Jared stood and checked everyone’s plates, his eyes only on the table before
him. He cleared everyone’s plates and returned to the kitchen. Busy with more
serving, plating, and garnishing, Jared could hardly feel the pain radiating
from his arm or between his legs. The oven had kept the beef warm and tender
without drying it out; he was pleased and relieved by this. As he was wiping
the edges of each plate for presentation, Nathaniel walked in, practically
dancing.
“They are absolutely gorgeous,” the first breeder cooed. “Neither of them
attached. I may have some fun with this.”
Jared pretended not to listen. The plates needed attention.
 
Breeders were property. Masters did not share ownership unless it was their
decision to loan their breeder out. Even then, the proceedings were
complicated. Exchanges were done with some delicacy, between two Masters who
could trust each other. Breeders had no say about who they did or did not sleep
with. A flash of the bathroom tile stung Jared’s memory, but he squashed it. He
had to get dinner served. Nathaniel pranced back into the dining room,
clutching a bottle of wine, and handed it to Master to pour. Jared followed
behind, carefully balancing two plates the same way as before, only this time
he had a rag under the plate on his belly.
As he approached the table, he felt a pup give an exceptionally hard kick to a
sore spot on his ribs. It nearly winded him, so suddenly as it happened, but he
kept his composure. Proudly, he set one plate down in front of his Master and
moved to set the other down in the same order as before.
Standing on the first guest’s left, Jared’s belly barely brushed against the
guest’s arm, who flinched at the contact and lifted his arm in surprise, as if
he were going to apologize. How strange, Jared thought in that second, that a
Master would want to apologize for something that was clearly a breeder’s
fault. Jared thought that much before everything erupted.
Imagine that, Jared remembered thinking again, a Master apologizing to a second
breeder.
The abrupt flinch and odd response from the guest caused Jared to tip and
miscalculate his footing. He fell to the floor with a loud crash and a yelp,
landing on his already broken arm. More than the plates he had been holding
shattered—his arm took another hit and the final snap of it caused him to
seize. But the food. Oh no. The food. It was everywhere, all over the floor.
And when he managed to look up, he gasped as his worst fears were confirmed:
the perfect portion of beef wellington was sitting on the guest’s lap.
Before Jared could move, speak, or think—a whip came down on his back.
Scorching. Stinging. Burning.
His mouth hung open in a silent scream and he inhaled, stunned.
Another crack and another hit came down with rage. His Master was yelling, but
Jared could barely hear it. His back was ablaze. When air could be pushed in
and out of him, he begged his Master—reminded him about the pups—but none of it
did any good. He received a blow to the back of his head with a boot and was
firmly kicked aside.
“Breeders,” his Master sneered and threw the whip down, where it looked
innocent on the floor. “I bought this one because Nathaniel felt some kind of
pity towards him. Lousy investment. I apologize, Doctor. Let Nathaniel take you
into one of my rooms and clean up. You are welcome to him and my household.”
Jared tried to focus on breathing.
He couldn’t lose this litter—he could withstand the pain. It had only been ten
lashes and he fully understood that it should have been more. He was lucky. His
Master was merciful.
“I…” the guest faltered in speech, as if confused on how to react. “I thank you
kindly.” He got up from the table and Jared dared not to look. Jared only heard
the scrapes of chairs and feet moving.
“No need for your thanks, Doctor. I assure you, this breeder will be
reprimanded.” Those were Master’s promises for later.
The guest said nothing.
Two pairs of footsteps left the dining room. Jared wondered if Nathaniel would
take over serving when he returned. An order was commanded at Jared with
another kick, this time at his backside. “Get back to the kitchen. You are
dismissed.”
Only by crawling was Jared able to comply. He curled up as much as he could and
hid in the corner of the kitchen where his bin resided. Nathaniel returned and
wordlessly began plating dessert, his motions showing how irritated he was. But
nothing could be said between them at that moment; dessert had to be served and
the evening had to be recovered.
With a hiccup, Jared gently reminded Nathaniel to put strawberries on the sides
of each napoleon. 
***** Drag *****
A week passed and Jared’s arm did not heal.
No matter how he tried to bandage it or adjust the sling, it lay limp, turning
an alarming array of shades of purple, red, and yellow. It hurt constantly and
made his already limited movement even more restricted and slow. Chores were
nearly impossible and took three times longer. To add to his discomfort, in the
span of a week his belly swelled and hung lower. The pressure on his back had
become a familiar, dull presence.
Nathaniel looked more beautiful and full of life with every passing day, his
term creating an almost preternatural glow around him. He was fulfilling his
duties as first breeder by providing the household with a future heir—the next
Master of this household. Jared knew that there was some pride in providing the
government with the pups he carried, but he sometimes wondered what it felt
like to be so valued in a household. He did not dwell on those thoughts very
often; he was grateful for his position in a household that provided so much
for him and only asked that he do his best in return. Though in his current
state, he could not complete his chores to his best abilities and it haunted
him.
There were few things more awful than a useless second breeder. If only he
could tell someone that he was not lazy, that it wasn’t the duties that gave
him trouble, it was the lack of his body’s cooperation with his mind. Strange
things were happening to his body as it swelled for the litter it carried. He
could not explain some of it, but the movement inside him unsettled him the
most. The pups kicked endlessly, at all hours of the day and night. They kicked
even when his Master was buried inside him.
The pups had no idea what was happening to Jared.
More than once, he prayed they never would.
 
Jared eased himself down on his pallet, squatting before landing with a soft
thump.
It was a Friday, and he had just finished a deep cleaning. Everything in their
household shone and smelled fresh. He was exhausted, but proud of his work. For
the moment, the pups were still and the house was uncommonly silent. Master and
Nathaniel had gone out to a social function, having left early in the
afternoon. Jared had helped Nathaniel dress, handing him tiny pins for his
golden hair. Nathaniel’s golden hair and bright blue eyes were his prize
features, according to him, but Jared was more awed by his smooth, unblemished,
unscarred skin. When Nathaniel was fully dressed and ready for the evening,
Jared stepped back and complimented the first breeder, who smiled and replied
that he knew he was beautiful.
On the pallet, a tired sigh escaped Jared’s lips. He had been instructed not to
wait up. However, fatigued as he was, he could not fall asleep immediately. He
had enjoyed being able to occupy the house without anyone around to witness how
sluggish and clumsy he moved. And, being alone had afforded him to take his
time with his chores, pausing here and there for rests or drinks of water.
His thoughts were interrupted by his stomach rumbling in protest. He was
hungrier lately, which partially explained his girth. He knew he was nearing
the end of his term. Something had to be done about the rumble, and the pups
would soon start moving if he didn’t take action. Once he managed to get up, he
treaded to the kitchen and dug around in the bin marked for him. An allowance
of bread and vegetables was prepared for him at the beginning of every month.
The contents in the bin had to last until the next month; no more would be
given if he ate all of it too quickly. Jared had learned to count each
vegetable carefully. At that moment, although he wanted to be conservative, his
hunger won out and he gorged himself on two carrots and a raw potato, not
bothering to slice any of it. It wasn’t enough in the end—and his discipline
caved. One of the smallest crusts of bread was rummaged from the bottom of the
bin and devoured to the last crumb.
Sitting beside his bin, Jared sighed, clearing his mind now that he had eaten.
He hoped that someone might scrape their dinner into his bin one night soon.
For the next hour, he walked through the household, dusting with his good arm.
Comfortable with the company of only himself and those he carried inside him,
he sang softly. This was the most that his pups would get to hear of his voice
at its best. He wondered if they found it soothing, because they had stopped
wiggling and squirming around after dinner.
The thought of birth did not scare him. Breeders all over the country gave
birth every day—every hour. Giving birth was an honor and a privilege for a
breeder of any station. It brought good things to each household, to their
government, and to their country.
It was failure that scared him.
Age didn’t matter much for breeders. A breeder was fertile from the age of
twelve to the age of forty, though very few lived past the age of fifty. Jared
had only met one breeder in their forties, and they had been an instructor at
the academy. Masters, however, could live to be more than a hundred years old
and usually bought and sold several breeders in their lifetimes, especially
when a breeder failed to meet quotas.
Every one of Jared’s pups had to be born alive and stay alive for one hour
after birth. The yearly quota for Jared’s age-rank was six. At fourteen years
of age, and on his second litter, he had been told this birth would be
difficult. His hips were not as wide as they should be, nor was his body fully
prepared for the physical stress of carrying such a large litter. Breeding age
was not optimal until the age of twenty, which was why breeders stayed in
academies until that age. Breeding before such an age was risky. The chance of
a breeder losing their litter became higher the younger they were. Although
twenty years of age was recommended, many breeders could be bred successfully
at fifteen. Still, Jared had only just turned fourteen.
He did not want to think about those things anymore.
His thoughts were turned towards something more pleasant. Tomorrow they would
be going into town for business. Master had matters to attend to, Nathaniel
would be buying clothes and fabrics for the household in preparation for the
new little one, and Jared’s chore was to purchase weekly supplies. He had a
list of his own that he made with Master’s approval, and one that Nathaniel
supplied him with according to the his needs. Going to the market meant being
outside with so many different people and noises and things Jared had not yet
seen. Town always excited him.
Secretly, Jared hoped his Master would treat him to a piece of chocolate as he
had done on a previous trip a month ago.
At this hopeful thought, Jared finally decided he was tired enough to try
sleeping again.
He awoke only when his Master and Nathaniel returned, sounding happy and
lustful. When they were settled and in bed, Jared was able to fall back asleep
once more. 
 
At dawn the next day, Jared was up and dressed in his travel robes. They did
not fit over his belly, but he managed to fasten them to stay on, even with the
use of only one hand. As fast as he could—which admittedly wasn’t fast at
all—he watered the gardens, swept the kitchen, made a light breakfast for
Master and Nathaniel, and set the table in the sitting room. Master was the
first to rise.
“Good morning, Master,” Jared chirped happily, bringing Master his paper.
Master nodded and took the paper from Jared’s hands, not making eye contact.
Nathaniel made an entrance half an hour later, dressed in travel robes that did
fit him, though his middle was significantly smaller than Jared’s. A plate of
breakfast was speedily served to him, and Jared knelt on his pillow. Two pieces
of bread and bacon were tossed his way by Nathaniel until Master gave him a
look. The saltiness of the bacon stayed in Jared’s mouth until they got out to
the stables an hour later.
“Up we go, darling,” Master murmured to Nathaniel, helping him into the
carriage. “Come now, don’t give me such a face. We will be there in no time at
all. You’ll see.”
Jared watched and waited anxiously beside the carriage. A little bit of help up
would be a kindness. He looked at his Master, unable to control his fidgeting.
Master barked at Jared. “Get to the back.”
Confused, Jared had no idea what back Master meant. There was no back seat on
the carriage. He stumbled to stand behind the carriage regardless, hoping that
the command might be clarified.
From a nearby stable wall, Master took a length of chain. A collar was slipped
out of his pocket, thick, black, and lined with small teeth on the inside.
Jared’s eyes widened and he clutched at his belly with his good hand. He pieced
together the choker and chain’s purpose.
“We are meeting the Doctor today and you will,” his Master spoke as he fastened
the collar and linked the chain through its link, “behave, do you understand?
This is your punishment for the embarrassment you have caused this household.
Try to keep up.”
For a split second, Jared wanted to scream. He wanted to beg for forgiveness
and reconsideration.
He could not be dragged behind a carriage in this state. His belly was heavy,
round, and at its most vulnerable. One arm was completely useless in helping
defend his stomach, and his balance was completely thrown off by the weight of
his middle.
But those thoughts were smothered by his training.
Punishment from a Master was a firm reminder that failure had hurt his
household. He had failed them. Whatever happened to him was nothing compared to
the shame he had brought to his Master.
Jared was a bad breeder. That was it.
 
He kept up for a mile.
His slippers did little to protect his feet, especially when they hit a muddy
patch of road. When the speed of the carriage picked up, Jared knew he could
not hold on any longer. The teeth of the collar dug into his neck as he was
yanked forward. Master had chained his wrists together and tied them to the
length of chain that went from his neck to the carriage. Jared managed to twist
himself so that he was dragged belly up instead of down, towards the dirt road.
Somewhere, on some stretch of their journey, he threw up from pain and cried
out in agony, but learned to keep his mouth shut or risk swallowing mud. His
robes had fallen off halfway, and sweat dripping into his eyes, stinging and
leaving his vision blurry. Bruises, cuts, and blood covered him as he was
dragged the ten miles to town.
Each mile of road was torment. He thudded against the carriage quite a few
times, knocking his shoulders or his bad arm into the back. Three times he
slipped in mud and lost complete control of himself, going limp. The sun bore
down on him with an intensity he had never felt in the garden, despite his time
spent out there.
Even the noise of the carriage wheels bothered him. The loud, repetitive
crunching and turning sounds were reminders of what would happen if he got
caught underneath one of them.
When the carriage stopped, Jared threw up once more, hacking into a puddle of
filthy water.
Master went around to help Nathaniel down and to pay for the carriage spot.
Jared weakly lifted his head and saw Nathaniel looking down at him, shaking his
head.
Jared was slapped and his face grabbed roughly, eliciting a wince.
“I hope this teaches you something more permanent about manners, Jared. You
will stay here until we are finished with our appointments and business in
town. You are not to speak or interact with anyone. Do so and you will be
begging me for mercy.” Master let go and threw down a canteen of water, which
landed in between Jared’s spread out legs. He and Nathaniel turned away without
a glance over their shoulders, elegantly walking down the main avenue of
Meridian. Nathaniel leaned into Master’s touch, and said something that made
Master laugh heartily.
Under the sun, Jared groaned and closed his eyes, shifting and turning until he
could throw up again. As soon as he gathered the strength—which wasn’t for
quite some time—he hid underneath the carriage to be out of the sun as much as
possible. He also did not want any other Master or breeder to see his shame.
From his place, he peered out, watching and observing happier breeders who
passed by.
He closed his eyes and tried to focus on the movement inside his belly. The
pups were active and causing him additional pain, but he was glad for their
company.
 
Two lines of song was all he managed before he passed out, sinking into
glorious darkness. 
***** Slip *****
A splash of cold water woke Jared up, gasping and sputtering.
It took some time before his eyes could adjust to the brightness of the sun. He
looked up and Nathaniel’s face came into delayed focus. Jared calmed for a
moment and groaned, twisting in the chains, closing his eyes as he shifted.
When he opened his eyes again, he noticed that there were two unfamiliar faces
next to Nathaniel’s. Straightaway, he tried his best to get into a proper
position of respect—on his knees with his head down.
“My god,” one of the strangers gasped. “How…?”
“That doesn’t matter,” Nathaniel snapped. “Tell me you can fix his arm.”
“It isn’t… my god. It isn’t just his arm, you do understand that?”
“Of course I do! But I need his arm to work again.”
The two strangers stood back and whispered amongst themselves. Their voices
were somewhat familiar, but Jared couldn’t place them. A wave of nausea
assaulted him, causing him to hold back a groan. He was accustomed to pain, but
he could barely stand the embarrassment of being so filthy in front of two
Masters and Nathaniel.
“How far along is he?” someone asked and crouched down. Jared’s vision swam,
but he tried his best to follow the voices.
“Last trimester. How is that important?”
“How is it possible he hasn’t…?” The stranger didn’t finish the sentence but
even in his state, Jared understood the implication. A Master thought he looked
so weak that they were questioning his ability to carry a litter. The mention
of miscarrying a litter was avoided at all costs amongst breeders. It caused
Nathaniel to produce a shocked gasp.
“We are made for this,” Nathaniel snipped. “We are breeders. Our bodies can
tolerate extremes. But his arm should have healed on its own by now and it
hasn’t. And don’t speak of that matter again in the company of breeders, it’s
bad luck. I don't know how you could possibly not know this!” Nathaniel crossed
his arms over his own belly, as if warding off lingering negative energy from
the stranger’s remark. “Madison is coming. Play along,” Nathaniel directed the
strangers. “Darling! Look who I have run into!”
“Doctor, how good to see you,” Master greeted, shaking one of their hands. “And
Judge, what a pleasure. We were just going to your offices, Doctor.”
Jared kept his head down and made a concerted effort to stop shaking. The
ground beneath him was hard and the sun increased the stench of vomit, waste,
and mud that surrounded him, pressed into every pore. His head lolled and he
heard himself breathe out with a rattle.
“Well,” someone replied and cleared their throat. “We were out for a walk when
we… had the happy occurrence of bumping into Nathaniel.”
“My dear, you know what these gentlemen have told me?” Nathaniel chirped, his
tone light and playful. He was probably touching their Master’s left arm, a
sign of intimacy. “They have moved into the old Dorrey Place—you remember it,
surely—and it is in dire need of a deep cleaning!”
“That so?” Master rumbled. “Not like the realtors in this area to leave things
in such shape.”
“We were quite hurried in moving,” one of the strangers added. “I did have some
urgent cases to oversee and needed the place to be available for our things as
soon as possible. That did not leave much time for a proper cleaning, I’m
afraid. The good Doctor here is allergic to dust; his sneezing keeps me up half
the night.”
A pup jerked at Jared’s bladder and another moved against his stomach, causing
two awful sensations at once. His thighs trembled as he tried to keep from
having an accident in front of so many important people.
“When I heard this, dear, I was so alarmed! Shocked! It’s not proper for our
new Doctor and Judge to live like that! Absolutely scandalous, don’t you agree?
I mentioned to them that our household just received a deep cleaning
yesterday.” Nathaniel’s voice had a slight nervous edge to it that Jared could
recognize even in his state. It wasn’t like Nathaniel to have doubts, though
Jared knew none of the Masters would pick up on his tone. It was too subtle.
“Yes, my goodness, this won’t do. Tell you what, Doctor. I’ll send over my
second breeder and have him set up your place.”
There was a moment’s pause and Jared knew that Nathaniel was silently
communicating with the strangers. His blue eyes were expressive when needed to
be.
“Oh, oh… I couldn’t… inconvenience you like that, sir. Really.”
“Nonsense. No trouble or inconvenience at all. Nathaniel and I will be gone the
weekend—to visit my parents before the child is born—and he might as well be of
good use to you. After all, for his actions last week, this would be an
excellent way to not only extend our apologies, but for you to see what you
should look for when selecting breeders of your own.” Master sounded pleased
and proud. Jared felt a small amount of happiness that Master knew he could be
useful at cleaning a house. The happiness faded when his chain was yanked and
he was pulled out from under the carriage. “He doesn’t need to be fed through
the weekend and I’ll give you my whip. Don’t hesitate to use it, Doctor, he’s
quite used to it.”
Another awkward pause passed before a stranger, one with the deeper and more
serious voice, asked, “What about his garments?”
Master laughed, deep and sincere. “My good Doctor, I know he’s heavy but don’t
let that dissuade you from getting your use out of him. I trust him to you.”
The chain was passed from his Master to the stranger, who Jared assumed was the
Doctor. “I will collect him on Wednesday. Four days’ time should be enough to
set things right, yes?”
Nathaniel spoke up, never meeting Jared’s eyes. “Of course darling. More than
enough. You’re so thoughtful, oh, I’m so glad we could fix this for you two!
Now, Jared doesn’t know much about décor but he can arrange your furniture and
paint well enough. I’ll give you the name of a lovely interior designer when we
return. For now, this will do.”
“Yes, excellent. This is settled then.” His Master and the Doctor shook hands.
A sign of trust. “Should we get on with our appointment?”
The Doctor looked around as he held the chain awkwardly.
“Oh,” Master laughed, putting an arm around Nathaniel’s waist. “Just tie him
there. See?”
Jared winced as he was led towards a public breeder post, where two other
breeders were tied, waiting for their Masters to finish shopping. He could no
longer control his bladder or the pup kicking it and relieved himself as he was
roughly dragged over and chained.
“What a disgrace,” Master muttered and reached into his coat pocket. “Here,
Doctor. My whip. This is a good instance for you to try it out. I can give you
pointers as well. Let’s see your form.”
“Darling…”
“Not now, Nathaniel. Let the Doctor practice.”
Jared braced himself, head down. He kept his good arm clutching his belly to
block any blows or lashes. This was to be his Master for the time being and
Jared wished he could take his punishment with grace. He wanted to prove to
this new Master that he was good and capable and would need no further
correction from here on out. It seemed like an eternity passed before the whip
was brought down—strong and sure—on his thighs. Crisscrossed lashes bit at his
skin on both thighs but Jared did not cry out.
“Wonderful! Very good. See, you are getting the hang of it already, Doctor.”
The party of four left after, turned away and walked along the sidewalk in no
hurry.
 
Master was kind enough to come back to the breeder stand with the Doctor, when
everyone’s errands and business was done for the day. He untied Jared and
dragged him towards the Doctor’s carriage, where he was promptly chained in the
same manner as before. The teeth in the collar no longer stung; they worked
themselves into Jared’s neck and refused to unlatch.
The two Masters spoke business and details, but Jared was half conscious and
their voices sounded as if they were all underwater. He could not decipher
much.
With his eyes half lidded, Jared watched his Master and Nathaniel link arms and
walk away, towards their carriage. The carriage Jared was newly attached to
jolted forward without warning, which made Jared yelp. He could barely keep up
with the pace the Doctor had set the horses to. His muscles ached, and
crouching at the stand for hours hadn’t helped. Fairly certain that he had
sprained his right ankle, Jared tried to compensate for it by putting most of
his weight on his left side, but then the carriage took a sharp turn.
Knocked against a wheel, Jared cried out.
Either the Doctor heard him or he had come to his destination, Jared wasn’t
sure. He only knew that the sudden stop caused him to slip under the carriage.
Jared was grateful that he had managed to twist so that he was laying down
belly up. Sweat and dirt mixed into his eyes but he heard the sounds of boots
on gravel.
“Misha!” The Doctor barked out this name and walked around to the back of the
carriage. He got on his knees and looked under. Jared gasped and tried to move,
tried to do anything, but not only was he unable to move, he still couldn’t see
properly. He couldn’t tell if the Doctor was angry or upset or about to hit him
for being stupid enough to get caught under the carriage.
“Yes, no need to yell,” someone else replied, crouched down alongside the
Doctor. “Did you have to go so damn fast?”
“I had to get out of there. Fucking help me get him out.”
“Ease the carriage forward, then. Nelly will listen.”
Jared felt his heart pounding against his chest. The gravity of his situation
for the next four days hit him. He was under the care of these two Masters who
knew virtually nothing about breeders, since they had never owned any, which
the more Jared thought about, the more peculiar it seemed and the more
frightened he became. What would they have him do? In what state would he
return to his Master?
The carriage creaked and eased forward until Jared was once again behind it,
only this time, he felt exposed in a way he hadn’t before, not even tied to the
breeding stand for hours.
“Hello,” a light voice called out. “I realize that this is no proper
introduction but my friend and I are going to untie and put you inside for the
rest of the ride. Does that seem agreeable to you?”
Blinking, Jared gaped at the two Masters standing twenty feet away from him.
The Doctor had moved back, standing next to the Judge, hands on his hips and
feet set apart. Jared had no idea what to reply with. How was he supposed to
respond? This had never been covered in the academy. “S-s-sir?” Of all things,
that was the best he could come up with. His throat was so dry with nothing to
drink all day. He hadn’t been able to reach the canteen Master had provided.
“Jesus fucking Christ, Misha, he can’t see us. Surprised he’s still conscious.
Just get him in.”
“I thought it might be courteous to ask.”
“This is beyond polite conversation on the side of the road, you ass.”
“Fine,” the man with the lighter voice huffed. “Just take care with him. Don’t
move too quickly.”
“I am a Doctor, I think I know.”
The chains were released from the carriage but not his hands or neck. Jared had
no idea what to make of this or the conversation between the two Masters. Their
conversation concerned him but didn’t include him and he didn’t expect it to.
They raised him up and lifted him into the carriage, set him down on a plush
nest of pillows. Jared moaned in pain and confusion. What was going on? He
flailed—feeling off balance—and protected his belly with his arm once more. He
didn’t want to stain their things or be punished for doing so later. Desperate
to communicate that this wasn’t necessary, that he would be fine as he had
been, he tried to speak but ended up coughing.
“Do we have water?”
“No. Listen, Jared, calm down. You need to relax.”
“He’s big, what if he…?”
“I don’t know!”
“Have you ever delivered more than two babies at a time?”
“Misha! Can we just get on with this?”
A pup kicked. Jared shut his eyes tightly and tried to curl up. Everything
hurt. He was at the point where he could no longer tolerate more pain. The
Masters thought he was going into labor, but that was not the case; his body
had just reached its limit. The carriage shifted forward and moved at a fast
pace. Someone put their hand on his belly and rubbed circles, which Jared
understood as a precursor to a Master desiring service. How could any Master
want him in this state? He reprimanded himself for asking such a horrible
question; it was not up to him to question the wants or needs of a Master. If
they preferred him this way it was his duty to please.
Weakly, he spread his legs and shifted his hips.
The hand on his belly disappeared. Jared waited for it to appear between his
legs. It never did.
Before he blacked out, Jared felt a twinge of disappointment.
***** Place *****
Master let Jared ride him once.
The entire time, Master had his hands on Jared’s belly. It was an effort to
move, but his Master was enjoying him, so Jared kept up the pace. When his
Master came for the first time, Jared smiled, pleased with himself. He made
soft, purring sounds as he was lifted up and positioned on his knees. His
Master slid in once more, growling praise, and began thrusting hard, one hand
on Jared’s hip and the other on the swell of his belly.
Panting, Jared flexed his muscles and arched his back. Master made an approving
noise.
Jared had no idea what first breeders felt when servicing their Master, but
Jared usually felt content and secure in his abilities to be good for his
Master. A second breeder’s cock was not meant for pleasure, but for providing
milk for the litters they carried. Master never touched it, except to brush it
out of the way, and Jared had never questioned that. To him, it was a part of
him that existed for his litters and nothing else.
What pleasure he got out of servicing his Master was based in emotion.
He expected to wake up in the middle of servicing these strange, new Masters.
They had never had a breeder before, and Jared thought they must be eager to
try one out, especially one that had ruined one of their garments. It would be
a good opportunity to be rough.
Instead, he woke up in a tub full of warm water and soap. He jerked in shock
and grabbed for the nearest edge, slipping and falling underwater. A firm hand
grabbed his left shoulder and pulled him up. Jared coughed and sputtered,
grasping for the edge with his broken arm and clutching at his belly with his
good one. His hair was plastered to his forehead before the same hand brushed
it back. For a second, Jared looked into the eyes of one of his current
Masters.
This Master looked concerned, which startled Jared. Why was he concerned? Was
Jared not doing something? Before Jared could ask, the Master thrust a towel at
him.
“Dry and get to bed. This suite is yours.”
With his vision back, Jared could finally assess this Master’s body language.
He could also hear the tones and inflections in his voice. He had a soft drawl
that Jared had never heard before, but it sounded pleasant and new.
This Master had green eyes. That was all Jared could take in before the Master
turned away and walked out of the room.
The conversation ended, Jared focused on following his orders. Shakily, he
stood in the tub—a massive thing that seemed more like an indoor pond—and dried
his hair, using his good arm. The water went up to his belly, so he thought it
would be best to step out and then keep drying.
Climbing out was much easier thought than it was actually done. Between his
useless arm, his belly, and the depth of the tub, he could not maneuver himself
to scramble over the edge and out onto the tile floor. On his third failed
attempt, he slipped again and slid underwater, bracing himself on his bad arm,
mewling as he panicked with the water sloshing around him. Exhausted and
frustrated when he surfaced, he shut his eyes and breathed hard. There had to
be a way to do this. He had to believe that he could heave himself over and out
without causing harm to his litter. Though the water was soothing for his back
and feet, he had his orders.
A second Master walked into the bathroom and Jared squealed, unprepared.  
“Oh, my apologies,” the Master said, and walked over carefully. “I don’t mean
to interrupt or intrude, but I’ve made dinner and I thought you might like to
join us.”
The only thing that Jared blurted out was a weak, “I can’t get out.” He blushed
furiously at his admission and braced himself for a blow to the head. When
nothing came, Jared opened his eyes. The second Master stood there, at a
respectful distance, and looked at Jared curiously.
“You…? Oh! Damn! I’ve misunderstood. Of course you can’t. Damn tub is too high,
even for me. Here, allow me to help you.” This Master stepped forward and put
his arms out for Jared to take, which he did, only after a moment of
hesitation. There were too many things to process and learn and memorize about
these new Masters. He couldn’t possibly do it all at once. As the Master helped
him out, lifting him up slightly, Jared moaned at the movement. Pain cut
through his arm, back, and ankle. He feared slipping again and he knew from
experience that the tile would not be forgiving.
“Easy there,” the new Master cooed. “You’re there already, see? I brought you a
robe as well. Let me help you into it.” Jared had more time to study this
Master. He was shorter than the other, with a darker complexion. His eyes were
bright blue, which reminded Jared of Nathaniel. These two Masters were
handsome, but then, Jared could never call any Master ugly or unappealing.
Still, he admired this Master’s somewhat lopsided smile.
A plain cotton robe was slipped over him, though it refused to fit over his
middle. Jared fumbled to stammer out an apology and an offer to fix things, but
the Master simply shrugged and left it that way.
“Well, are you hungry?”
Jared stared at him, trying his best to give a neutral expression. When the
Master said nothing, Jared put his head down.
“I forget, you don’t like questions. That’s okay, we can work around it.” The
Master kept his tone light. “Accompany me to the dining room, Jared, and let’s
serve food.”
Those were orders he knew how to do and he was eager to prove his skill. These
Masters had been kind and thoughtful enough to give him a
bath—in their tub!—and to supply him with a robe. And to give him a carriage
ride! Jared’s head spun at the thought of all these new things in such a short
period of time. He followed behind the shorter Master and they walked into a
large kitchen. Everything was new and there were a few boxes scattered around,
but the oven was on and bread was out on the counter cooling.
Patiently, Jared looked at the Master for instruction.
“Ah, well… uhm, I don’t… do you know your way around a kitchen?”
The second breeder nodded.
“Wonderful. Why don’t you serve three plates and bring them into the dining
room? I’ll get a bottle of wine.”
With that, the Master left and Jared moved into action. He was slower than the
previous day because of his ankle, but found that he could at least remember
how to do things properly. Carefully, he took dishes out of the oven and set
them on a counter, where he proceeded to find plates and utensils. The Master
had prepared a casserole of some sort. Jared looked at it oddly. He knew that
some Masters enjoyed cooking as a hobby, but this didn’t quite match up.
Of course, it wasn’t his place to question such things, but he did find it
strange. Three plates were served and plated without a stray string of cheese
or splash of cream sauce anywhere.
As he entered the room with two dishes—one balanced on his belly—he saw that
both Masters were sitting at the table, awaiting their food.
“Why is he serving us?” the taller, tawny haired Master hissed at his
companion.
“It’s what he knows,” the shorter one replied and smiled at Jared. “And is
quite good at, I must say. You’ve plated this so well, it almost looks like
someone else made it.”
“Yeah,” the other Master snorted, “it looks edible.”
Jared set their plates down and took his place. He had no idea what the third
plate was for, since there was no other guest at the empty third place at the
table, but he figured he would be told soon enough. He was told to serve three
plates, so he did. Squatting, he eased himself down on his knees and both
Masters looked at him, their mouths hanging open slightly as if he had done
something odd.
“Jared… do you not want to eat with us?”
What?
“Apologies,” the Master said lightly. “I mean, come sit at the table with us.
And bring that third dish over. It’s yours, you can eat it.” A smile was
offered after order was given, but it didn’t soothe Jared’s apprehension. Sit
with them? Eat at their place? But he was not a first breeder or a Master, so
why should he have any reason to sit with them? Clearly this was some form of
punishment they had brought with them from the East.
“Let me help you up,” the blue eyed Master remarked and moved to Jared’s side
and once more eased him up by the arms. Jared gave a small noise as he waddled
back into the kitchen, retrieved the plate, and set it on the table. He looked
at the two Masters before him, waiting for someone to take out a whip for
daring to think that they were serious.
It never happened.
 
It was then that Jared knew something was very wrong.
***** Sank *****
Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes
A second breeder’s diet was determined by their Master and first breeder.
Jared had eaten a diet consisting of root vegetables, bread, and water for the
past six months while in residence at his current Master’s. Occasionally, he
would be tossed pieces of beef or chicken—and on special occasions he would be
given a piece of chocolate—but it wasn’t a main part of his diet. At the
academy he had been fed more fruits and cream and fish, but was told not to
expect such food as part of a household as a second breeder.
However, at the end of the day, Jared was happy with eating a potato or a
carrot. Vegetables filled him up when he had to stretch out his bin.
Given all of this, it did not surprise Jared when he threw up what he had been
fed at dinner. The casserole was made up of some kind of pasta noodles with
tuna, cheese, and a heavy cream sauce. It was like nothing he had ever eaten or
served to anyone else. He retched as quietly as possible in the same bathroom
he had taken a bath, heaving until his throat was completely dry. The pups
shifted and kicked, upset by what he had tried to digest. Jared groaned and
pressed his good hand to his belly, trying to soothe them.
In just a few more weeks, Jared would be giving birth. It was his duty to
attend to Nathaniel for his birth, though the Doctor would also be present.
Nothing had been said to Jared—or about him as far as he knew—in regards to his
own birthing process. From his time at the academy, Jared understood that a
litter of six would render him immobile for a week before birth as he grew to
his largest size. Already, his belly was wider than his actual frame, curving
from the top of his chest outwards, where it hung near his hips from the
weight. The idea of immobility frightened Jared, since it meant that for a week
he would be useless to his household. He didn’t know if it was better for him
to give birth before or after Nathaniel.
He hoped that whatever happened, it would work out for the best interest of the
household.
“Jared?”
Having heard his name called, Jared lifted himself up from the toilet and moved
towards the suite. The Judge—Jared knew him by title now—stood in the doorway,
holding a basket.
“Yes sir?”
This Master’s eyes went to Jared’s arm and then his belly. Masters were allowed
to look, of course they were, but Jared have never felt so transparent. The
Master cleared his throat. “I thought we might take a look at your arm and
perhaps your middle? Make sure that you’re doing well?” The unease in the
Judge’s tone made Jared nervous. There was more to this than was being said.
How could they have never seen a breeder heavy with pups? Six wasn’t even that
many. Jared knew that when he reached the age of twenty—prime breeding age—he
could expect eight to ten in one litter. Some breeders were exceptional and had
up to twelve, but they often came from wealthy families and extensive breeding
lines. Those were breeders with access to care and bins overflowing with food.
Not that Jared wasn’t grateful—he was, very much so. If he could hold an
average of eight pups per litter, per year, he would be regarded as a good
second breeder, despite his previous actions and situations.
None of that seemed to matter at that moment.
Obedient, but not completely understanding, Jared followed the Judge to another
room, which was more organized and put together than any of the others. The
Doctor sat in a simple wooden chair without a cushion, at an old desk as he
went through papers. Jared noticed that the Doctor wore modest clothes that had
been mended in a few places more than once; this was a distinct difference from
his own Master or any of the other Masters Jared had seen before. One of the
buttons on the Doctor’s shirt didn’t match with the rest. It struck him as
peculiar, but interesting. He wanted to ask where the button had come from, and
if the Doctor had sewn it on himself, or if someone else had taken the care to.
Jared silenced his thoughts. He was being childish. No one cared about his
thoughts about a button.
The Judge guided Jared over to a wooden exam table, something he had only seen
twice before in his life, as second breeders often didn’t meet the requirements
for Doctors to visit them. There was a motion to get on the table before the
Judge remembered Jared’s limited movement and kindly helped him up.
A soft pillow was placed under Jared’s head, much to his surprise and eventual
delight. The exhaustion from the day started to settle in; though he knew that
for most of it he had been passed out and unresponsive.
“Great. Jared, the Doctor will be taking a look at your arm first. Right,
Doctor?”
Finished with his papers, the Doctor nodded and walked over to the left side of
the table. He seemed hesitant about touching Jared, which the second breeder
understood. Although they had been so kind to wash him and give him clean
garments, he was still covered in bruises, cuts, and scars. To make matters
worse, Jared knew that he had none of Nathaniel’s appeal or charm. It must be
difficult to have to touch Jared in his state, but everyone needed his arm to
work if they wanted a properly cleaned household in a few days. Jared figured
that if they allowed him to sleep at least four hours, he would start painting
the main sitting room, followed by the dining room.
No direct eye contact was made from the Doctor to Jared, so Jared kept his
sight focused on the ceiling and went through a small list of chores for the
next day. Creating a list was soothing and kept him calm as the Doctor’s
fingers pressed against painful spots on his arm. Jared made no noise and
willed himself to stay still, praying that the pups follow in his example. For
once, they listened and he received no internal kicks or sudden swings against
his ribs.
A glance at the Doctor’s face was risked; Jared noticed that he had a
smattering of freckles all over. The freckles reminded him of stars. The Doctor
frowned, his attention still on Jared’s arm, and muttered to the Judge, who was
standing nearby, “It’s broken in four separate places, Misha. For fuck’s sake,
how has he even been coping with it? If I broke your arm in four different
places—never mind all of the god damn fractures on top of them—you wouldn’t be
able to stand that kind of pain.”
“Please don’t speak about breaking my arm in four different places, especially
with that tone of yours.”
“Excuse me? What tone?”
The Judge rolled his eyes and shrugged. “Like we haven’t got the MedLight.”
Jared winced as the Doctor’s hand gripped over his arm. Noticing the reaction,
the Doctor flinched and let go quickly, recovering his composure. He moved
towards the Judge and away from Jared to speak in hushed tones. Jared tried to
tune out but he couldn’t help but listen to the accent of this Master.
“We agreed not to use it.”
“Of course, but these aren’t normal circumstances and you know it. I approve, I
don’t mind.”
“It’s against policy and you know it. I could lose my license.”
“Oh, like you have so much more to lose. Just for coming here you’ve risked and
lost everything. We won’t do much more than heal his arm, if you are still
unconvinced this is who we are looking for. Anymore healing with the MedLight
and it would attract attention.”
“I told you I didn’t want to get involved with… this.” The Doctor made a cold
gesture towards Jared.
From the table, Jared must have made some noise; the Judge looked over.
“You’ve hurt his feelings, Jensen.”
“He doesn’t have feelings, Misha. You told me not to get emotionally involved
in this, because we could be wrong, but here you are! It’s always like this
with you. I’ll set his arm and put it in a cast, but I won’t use the MedLight.
I don’t know how it’s possible to withstand an injury like this, but I don’t
care right now.” The Doctor turned and walked away to grab supplies from
somewhere else in the room.
 
Standing by himself, the Judge offered Jared a small smile. “He’s just a bit on
edge, Jared. Do forgive him.”
“Yes sir,” was all Jared could reply, in a voice much smaller than he expected
to hear.
He hadn’t been entirely nervous about being propped on an exam table because it
was an honor to be given medical attention as a second breeder. Receiving
medical attention meant that the second breeder was worth the trouble. But
Jared felt so wrong and twisted up on this table and under this Doctor’s
attention. Jared had heard awful stories from breeders in the academy of
strange people from foreign lands who had never heard of second breeders. These
foreign Masters would kidnap especially bad second breeders while they were
heavy with a litter, and cut them open. Images of his belly sliced open and his
pups dead and exposed caused a bout of nausea.
Would this Doctor—so disgusted by yet curious about second breeders—be willing
to do the same?
Jared didn’t have more time to think. Before he knew it, his arm was grabbed
and stretched out flat on the table. The Doctor’s strong hands bore down,
fingers pressed into Jared’s skin, and pushed the broken bones back together. A
sick, crunching noise echoed throughout the room, but did not drown out Jared’s
screams.
“Stop! Please! Oh, please, Master,” Jared sobbed and tried to get away from the
Doctor’s hands.
“Stay still, I can’t set it if you keep moving.”
“No, no, oh please, please!”
“Misha! Hold him down!”
Another twist and snap of his arm had Jared moaning, eyes rolling back. The
pups sensed his distress and pain shot through his lower back. He felt a gush
of liquid between his legs.
“He’s bleeding! He’s in shock, Jensen!”
“I know that! Just hold him down. I’m almost done. Fuck. Shit. Fuck.” The
Doctor continued to yell to the Judge, but Jared couldn’t make any sense of it.
He took a deep breath and gave into the darkness that had been creeping up in
the edge of his eyesight.
 
His pups were the last thing he thought of before he completely sank under.
Would they ever remember his voice? Or just the sounds of his screams?
Chapter End Notes
     Note: The original idea about the Medlight came from meus_venator's
     amazing work Sharp Teeth. A Medlight does exist IRL, but the one in
     this verse is more like the one in Sharp Teeth's verse.
***** Cradled *****
Most pain was easy enough to deal with, especially if Jared understood why the
pain had to happen.
Master was good to Jared and provided an explanation when punishment occurred.
Sometimes the pain was as simple as being shut in the closet for two days, or
being made to do two deep cleanings in one week. There were few punishments
that caused Jared to black out; he didn’t like to think about those that did
and possibly relive the memories.
When the Doctor caused him pain—very real, tangible pain—Jared understood it as
punishment. It was all very severe punishment, however, Jared could not
remember the offense he had committed. He tried to think of how he might have
slighted these Masters. Alone in the room, he thought through his actions as he
lay on the exam table. Consciousness had come back to him gradually, but he
hadn’t been very eager to wake up. He missed his pallet, his bin, and all the
familiarities of his household. He missed the comfort of rules he knew, the
touch of his Master, and the garden he tended to.
His wrists and ankles were strapped down by supple leather strips.
A heavy, seemingly wooden object was sealed around his bad arm, more secure
than any sling had ever been in protecting it. This was familiar enough, but
something didn’t feel right. He held a breath and waited, prayed for a pup to
move or kick. He couldn’t feel any of them, which was odd since at least one of
the six was always making themselves known. Panic rose in Jared’s chest, and he
whimpered as he fought against the straps to his wrists. He wanted to rub his
belly, press his hand down and feel the reassurance of life inside. As he
desperately tried to get one hand free, he felt his cock disobediently stir.
Jared moaned and lifted his hips, shifting them up instinctively. Something
entirely new began to happen between his legs.
Suddenly, he wished Nathaniel were there for company and answers. Nathaniel
came from a long line of first breeders, and while this child was his first, he
knew much of what to expect and what would happen while carrying and
delivering. Jared moaned again, breathy and deep, as he felt a gush of liquid
seep from somewhere deep inside him from his balls underneath his usually
dormant cock. Second breeders did not have erections like their Masters, and
Jared wasn’t sure about first breeders, but he could feel himself swell up. The
sensations were slightly painful, but more pleasurable than anything, which
frightened Jared immensely.
Pleasure was something to be given to him by his Master and his Master only. He
pushed his hips up as much as he could, trying to alleviate the growing
pressure between his legs. However, the excitement and panic had woken up some
of the pups because he now felt them moving around. The liquid pressure stopped
for a moment and Jared sighed in relief, grateful for all those things. He
noticed that someone had left the pillow underneath his head; he was as
comfortable as he was going to get.
Somewhere in his mind, he continued to wonder if they were going to cut him
open and experiment. Though the death of his pups distressed him like nothing
else, he supposed he wouldn’t mind what happened as long as he died with them.
There would be no use in surviving something that horrible.
Yet he knew that panicking and worrying were not good for his pups, and there
was absolutely nothing he could do about his current situation, so he tried to
access the space in his mind that radiated a sense of calm.
At the academy, breeders were told stories of good, pure legendary breeders who
fulfilled their duties to their Masters in every way possible, for as long as
they lived. They were kind, gentle, and performed every action with quiet
grace. Their households ran so naturally, so warmly, that their Masters’
company always looked forward to visiting. Fertile and excellent at breeding
healthy pups, these breeders gave everything they had to their households. At
the end of their lives, these breeders asked for nothing, but received the
eternal love, respect, and memory of their Masters.
Jared yearned to be one of those breeders. He didn’t ask to be famous or to be
talked about in stories, but he wanted to be remembered with affection by his
own Master. He wanted that just as much as he had wanted pups when he was a
child.
Every day was a new opportunity to prove that he was good enough.
And though he hadn’t been able to stay at the academy long enough to graduate,
Jared did occasionally think that he had learned very well from it.
A pup kicked his stomach, which brought him back from his thoughts. He couldn’t
tell if it was one pup or several, but his stomach took a small, repeated
beating. One sensitive spot was bombarded over and over again, with renewed and
determined force. Jared tried to stay silent as long as possible, but ended up
groaning before he threw up on the table. “No,” Jared sputtered, feeling tears
form in his eyes. He was tired and frustrated at himself and his inability to
stay clean for a few hours at a time. It seemed like he was constantly covered
in blood, sweat, tears, vomit, or waste.
His stomach rolled once more but he had nothing left.
He heard footsteps in the hallway and tried his best to calm down, to shut up.
His cock was hard and straining against his controls, which he prayed the
Masters did not notice because he had just figured out what had happened. His
first store of milk had flushed down. He would need that milk and more to give
to the official who took his pups. Without it, the pups wouldn’t survive long.
“Jared?” It was the Judge. He entered the room cautiously, as if afraid to
startle Jared.  His eyes landed on the mess Jared had made. “My goodness, let
me help you.” Previous caution forgotten, he rushed to get a towel and a
wastebasket. Jared mewled as the Judge wiped him down first, then the table.
The Master left momentarily to retrieve another towel, this one slightly damp.
Jared avoided direct eye contact and respectfully put his head down as much as
he could.
“There, much better,” the Judge murmured and put away the towels. “Oh, shit.
Let me undo these. We had to make sure you didn’t hurt yourself, I do
apologize. How does the cast feel? A little pressure is normal, but the Doctor
took his time to make sure it fit.”
Again, Jared was caught unsure how to respond to any direct questions about his
own opinions or feelings. He knew he must look a fool with his mouth slightly
open and his eyes wide. “F-f-fine,” he managed to stammer out. With a nod, the
Judge finished untying every leather strap and took Jared’s hands gently,
easing him up to a sitting position. Jared gasped as the pups kicked,
protesting the shift in movement.
“Every time you gasp, I am afraid you are in pain,” the Judge spoke in a soft
voice, barely above a whisper. His blue eyes were almost affectionate. It
reminded Jared of the way Master would sometimes look at Nathaniel.
“No sir,” Jared replied just as softly, blushing and looking away. He put his
hand on his belly and felt the weight of panic gradually disappear. Spurred by
this interest in his pups, he did something unorthodox considering that the
Master before him was not actually his owner.
He reached forward with his good hand and took careful hold of the Judge’s
hand, placing it on his belly, right above where the pups usually kicked. He
heard the Judge’s breath hitch, but whether it was in surprise, pleasure, or
shock, Jared couldn’t tell. All he was certain of was that the Judge was not
angered by the action, bold as it was. They only had to wait a few moments
before true to their habit, a pup kicked and bumped against the Judge’s hand.
Another moved near, causing a series of tiny movements.
“Incredible,” the Judge whispered, eyes gone as wide as Jared’s had before. “I…
thank you. Thank you very much.”
Jared nodded and put his hands down beside him. He allowed himself to relax
into the Judge’s touch and gave another nod when the other wanted to put a
second hand on his belly. With two hands he could feel more movement. A look of
awe and wonder never left the Master’s face. He crouched down and pressed an
ear to Jared’s belly. This was the most interest a Master had ever shown
towards the pups inside him, and Jared was unsure of what to make of it all—the
situation, and what it said about this Master.
“Do you know how many?” was asked, with a voice kept cheerful.
“Six, sir.”
“That many!” the Judge replied, with a small laugh. “How wonderful! Do you know
the sexes?”
“Sexes…? Sir?”
“Ah… boys or girls? Are those the correct terms?” the Judge asked as they
traded puzzled looks.
Leaned back, which made his belly stick out further, Jared was happy that his
cock had behaved and gone down. He thought about this Master’s question for a
moment before answering. “I don’t know,” was his honest reply. There were some
Masters and breeders who didn’t have cocks, but genitals were not important in
the selection process. As long as couples produced pups for the government,
that was all that mattered.
The Master nodded and chewed on his bottom lip, contemplating something. “Do
you carry breeders or… Masters?”
This was a question Jared understood, but felt uncomfortable answering. How
could this Master not know? If he did not know, then his companion must not
know either. How would the Doctor deliver pups if he didn’t know what breeders
carried and how? The Judge rubbed his hands on Jared’s belly; with the motion,
the pups quieted down and Jared sighed, eyes fluttering closed, his concern
derailed.
“Both,” Jared murmured.
Just as Jared had relaxed, the Doctor walked in. He frowned at the sight before
him; the Judge removed his hands. His tone changed. “Jensen, is dinner ready?”
“Yeah,” the Doctor grunted, arms crossed over his chest. “It’s getting late,
Misha.”
“I know. Thank you, Jared,” the Judge said warmly, with a smile. “I can’t tell
you how much I appreciate that. It was truly special.”
Placing his good arm over his belly, Jared nodded again. He hadn’t noticed
before that he was naked. Suddenly, it felt like the entire world could see all
of him, even though there were only two Masters in the room, and Jared was
accustomed to being without clothes in public. There was something about the
gaze of these Masters that unsettled him deeply, despite the smiles and
seemingly warm affections of the Judge.
Seamlessly, the Judge guided them into the dining room and handed Jared a robe,
which he promised would fit this time. He helped Jared put it on over his arm
and belly, and Jared was pleased that it not only fit, but gave him some room
to move around. He put his head down to signify his obedience, and gave a
hushed thank you.
Sitting at the table was as disorienting as it had been before.
If anyone had told Jared that he would go from being dragged behind his
Master’s carriage to sitting at an actual table, he would have gasped at the
suggestion. For this meal, the Judge was serving plates, handing out one to the
Doctor first and Jared second, which made him extremely uncomfortable, but he
didn’t say anything. These Masters were increasingly difficult to understand.
One moment he and the Judge were sharing something intimate, and the next
moment the Judge was implying Jared could not carry out his responsibilities.
“Made you soup,” the Doctor grumbled towards Jared.
Jared looked down at his bowl. It was a simple broth but it smelled delicious.
A crust of bread was next to the bowl. At last, something familiar. He waited
for the Masters to eat first before picking up his spoon. He was awkward with
utensils, never really having any need to use them himself in the past year,
but he thought he managed fairly well. His sips were timed out, to make the
bowl stretch, but every drop was consumed. He had to quiet his purrs as warmth
filled him. Even the pups were content.
“I’ll go into town tomorrow, pick up paint,” the Doctor said in a deep voice,
with the same drawl as ever. His voice was even, but possessed a slight edge to
it. “I expect you’ll be working on your notes.”
“Of course,” the Judge replied, his tone much lighter. “I’m sure Jared can
assist me in copying a few of the longer cases.”
Both Masters looked towards the breeder in their company. Jared blushed and
dropped his spoon. Fear seized him. The Doctor took care of the silence,
abruptly stating, “You can’t read. Can you?”
Shrinking in his seat, Jared wrapped an arm around his belly, his stomach
rolling in anxiety. He kept his head down. “Some, sir. Only basic ledgers and
words, sir.”
“Fuck. Fuck me.” The Doctor cradled his face in his hands. Jared felt tears
well up in his eyes. He hadn’t felt too much shame before about his lack of
ability. Nathaniel had waved it over him on occasion, but everyone knew Jared
didn’t have any legitimate reason to read. He could help his Master in basic
dictation and he could read instructions if they were penned well and kept
simple. He had excelled at the reading taught to second breeders, which was
nothing in comparison to what Nathaniel and first breeders knew, and miniscule
in comparison to what Masters knew.
It was the Judge that broke the silence at the table. “He can’t help it,
Jensen. You’re being too hard on him. He’s a product of this… this
environment.”
“Damn it, Misha! Would you shut up? I’m rethinking this entire trip right now.
He’s not supposed to be here. Why the hell can’t we just let him loose and try
some other place?!”
“He cannot leave so easily! Don’t you understand?” The Judge’s tone was
forceful and direct. “He’s got a chip, Jen. They’ll track him wherever he goes
and he’ll be worse off. And he could lose the litter…”
“How is that our problem? We aren't supposed to be interfering!” 
In his seat, Jared makes enough sound to interrupt the conversation between the
Masters. He looked at the Judge and then at the Doctor, clutching his belly
with both arms. Upset, Jared pushed himself off the chair and stumbled away,
trying to move as quickly as possible before anyone could bring out a whip or
push him down onto the floor and open his legs. The Judge was calling out for
him but Jared kept moving, directly disobeying the commands of a Master.
Everything hurt. His failure to obey. The indifference towards the litter he
was carrying. His arm, his ankle, the black bruise on his shoulder from when he
knocked into the carriage wheel.
He managed to hobble outside, praying for his Master to come back early—for
Master to somehow know that his second breeder wanted to go to their household
more than anything in the world. Jared looked up to the evening sky and cried
as he saw the stars, like the freckles on the Doctor’s face.
All breeders had chips. It was protection. It guaranteed that they could never
be taken from their household or their Master.
It was designed to protect them, not to hurt them.
Right?
At a difficult angle, Jared hefted himself down onto the ground, choosing to
sit by a willow tree in the front yard near the road. His breathing was heavy
from the effort and his own anxiety; the pups moved in unease. With a trembling
hand, he rubbed his belly to try and calm them down.
A household was made up of a Master, a first breeder, and a second breeder.
Masters could receive the service of any breeder, but he could only have pups
or children with the two of his household. The first breeder provided him with
an heir and the second provided him with a filled quota of pups for the
government. Second breeders never outlived first breeders; it was their duty to
give birth until they had given their household everything. It was an honor to
die serving. That’s what Jared wanted.
An hour passed and no one came to retrieve him or punish him.
Jared debated walking to his household. In the end, he didn’t want to
disappoint his Master or bring disgrace to his own household by failing this
one. He vowed to not let these strangers affect him so much. He had to obey.
Without a sound, Jared slipped into the dark house. He found the kitchen and
eased himself down in an empty corner, nearly ready to sleep when the Judge
walked in with a candle to light his way.
“Jared, I’m so sorry,” he murmured and crouched down. “The Doctor… he wasn’t…
may I sit with you?”
Jared turned away, keeping his head down. The Judge sat down.
“My goodness, we are just rife with miscommunications, aren’t we? Yes, that’s
most of the problem here. You see,  my partner isn’t the best at adapting to
new places. He… he wasn’t expecting this. Any of this.” The Judge speaks with
unease in his voice that frightens Jared. “And we certainly weren’t expecting
to meet you. Not that that’s a bad thing. He just… I’m not making any sense, am
I?”
A moment of awkward silence passed through. The Judge sighed.
“Guess not. It has been a long day. I should let you rest. Are you sure you
don’t want to sleep in a bed?”
Jared shook his head no. He was still ashamed at rejecting the offer of a
Master but he couldn’t bear to sleep on their furniture. They just didn’t
understand that.
“Alright, if you need something, please let me know. Good night, Jared.”
The Judge got up with a few creaks in his joints and walked out, the
candlelight following him. Jared settled into his corner, content that it felt
a lot like his closet. The pups shifted once and did their own settling in.
Before he closed his eyes to sleep, Jared sent out a small prayer for the next
day to be fortunate for his household.
He fell into a troubled sleep, both arms over his belly.
***** Broke *****
The next day passed along with a tension and awkwardness as heavy as Jared’s
belly felt.
The Doctor ignored him and the Judge both, and stayed shut in his study for the
entire day. Even when Jared served him a tray of food for a midday meal, he
ignored the breeder. Jared knew he didn’t know much, but he did know the
difference between being ignored and being unnoticed. Still, it wasn’t his
place to question or doubt the Master’s actions.
 
Early in the day, the Judge asked Jared if he would like to cook for the day—if
he felt “up to it”—and Jared nodded. It was not only his duty as second
breeder, but it provided him with a sense of routine and familiarity. As he
prepared dinner at midday, after serving a light meal of sandwiches and salad
for the Masters, he gradually felt more peaceful. There was still an ever
present edge of anxiety, but he could manage it better.
Preparing dinner made him content. With great care, he washed, peeled, and cut
the vegetables. The cast made it difficult to peel as quickly, but it was
better than when his arm had hung loose or in a flimsy sling. The Judge set up
a small, portable table in the kitchen and di his own work in Jared’s company,
which he found peculiar but certainly made no comment on. The kitchen was a
breeder’s place.
Jared shifted on his feet, switching his weight from one foot to the other as
he worked on the countertops, a new sensation began in his belly. He felt a
dragging, expanding pressure that sank and rested on his hips. The pups moved
endlessly, running out of room to continue their activities. These signs told
him he was rapidly reaching the end of his term.
Though he was proud to fulfill his duty to his Master, household, and
government, Jared harbored a secret: he would miss the pups. Already, they had
personalities of their own. Throughout his entire term he had sometimes
wondered what they would grow up to be. What would they look like? Would they
be happy? Would they wonder about who gave birth to them? Jared rubbed his
middle with his good hand before he returned his focus on dinner.
 
Based on the supplies the Masters had, Jared kept the meal simple but hearty.
He managed to scrape together enough to include a chocolate cake for dessert,
though mixing required frequent breaks. He was starting to tire much easier,
much to his dismay.
As he twisted himself to put the cake pan in the nearest oven, the Judge got up
and went to the icebox. He retrieved a handful of baby carrots with one hand,
then helped Jared with the oven with the other. He then ate a carrot and passed
one after another to Jared, who happily crunched away as he washed the dishes
and pans he’d used. The Judge stood next to him the entire time, carefully
feeding him carrots when he was scrubbing.
While dinner cooked, the Judge sat at his desk and Jared took a place on the
floor at his feet, grateful for the rest. From time to time, the Judge would
run a hand through Jared’s hair, giving small, soothing pets. Jared purred and
leaned into the simple touches. Masters could touch him all they wanted—it was
his duty to make them feel as good as possible in all situations—so he had no
protests. However, he didn’t feel that receiving these pets were fulfilling
that duty, which bothered him, but not enough to think about it further.
Time passed in a much more pleasant manner than Jared supposed either of them
had expected.
They wound up dining outside, on two portable tables the Judge dragged out and
propped up. The Doctor took his dinner tray in his study. The Judge pointed out
that he often did that, preferring to eat as he worked so as not to waste a
minute. Jared understood, of course, but he couldn’t help but feel a miniscule
amount of ease that it was just the Judge and him.
A comfortable silence wove between the two of them for hours. After dinner, the
Judge cleaned up, insisting that he wanted Jared to watch the sunset and that
was a direct order. He came back with a book and two plates with thick slices
of chocolate cake on them.
“We might as well enjoy ourselves,” he announced and took a large bite of cake.
He smiled wide and gestured for Jared to take a bite. “It’s amazing. Mmph.
Never had anything so good.”
Jared was bold enough to smile at the Master and take a bite for himself.
Receiving praise from a Master about his cooking was intensely pleasing. Jared
agreed that it had turned out well, but he only ate two bites. He wasn’t used
to such rich food, even if chocolate was a treat he enjoyed. The Judge finished
the rest of his slice and proclaimed that he could never possibly be hungry
again. He opened the book he had brought and read it aloud to Jared,
apologizing that it was legal jargon, but he preferred to read out loud. “I
understand things better that way,” he said with a glance over to Jared, who
nodded in agreement.
He felt safe enough to close his eyes and take in the pleasant sound of the
Judge’s voice, even though he couldn’t understand the words he spoke. He leaned
curled up on his side, at the Judge’s feet, and fell asleep within a few
minutes. When he woke up again, he was tucked into the same corner of the
kitchen he had occupied the night before. Sensing that the household was still
and quiet, Jared fell back asleep and for once he dreamt of nothing.
 
The next day was not so fortuitous.
Unexpectedly, his middle had swelled overnight. He woke up at dawn incredibly
uncomfortable, sweating and panting as his body entered the final stage of his
term. Breathing was difficult if he lay on his back, so he sat up and found
that he could not get up on his own. He mewled his distress but soon shut up,
not wanting to disturb anyone should they still be sleeping.
Even his ankles had swollen; he could feel them as he tried to push himself up.
It wouldn’t happen no matter how much or how hard he tried. He stopped once he
felt milk flow once more, and bit down on his lower lip to stop from moaning.
Storing wasn’t painful, even as his balls expanded. The pressure in his belly
and hips battled with the pleasure in his balls and cock. Jared took a deep
breath and tried to calm himself down, his heart was racing and his face felt
flushed. He groaned as he felt a spurt of milk leak out, thick and warm. A
small stream gushed out, onto his thighs and the floor. Quickly, he pushed his
legs together as much as possible and concentrated on holding it in. He needed
a ring. Oh but why, he desperately wondered, did this have to happen here, of
all places?
The Judge found him and helped him up, mindful of the wetness on the floor. The
Doctor joined them, though he was still silent as he knelt down and ran a
finger through the spilled milk.
“I’m… s-s-sorry,” Jared whined softly. “I’ll clean it up.”
“You can barely move,” the Judge interrupted, “we need to set you up in a bed.”
“I’m fine. I… clean… living room…” Jared blurted words out and realized his
mouth was moving but he could make no sense of anything. His entire body was
heated and sensitive. He swayed on his feet until the Judge braced him.
“He’s burdened by the weight he’s carrying,” the Doctor murmured, standing up.
“A smaller person would be crushed.”
Jared wanted to protest. A breeder’s body was made to carry litters like these.
He just hadn’t expected to be immobile until the week after this. He could no
more think these thoughts than he could voice them; he was exhausted and
trembling.
“You will stay in bed for the rest of the day,” the Doctor commanded, his tone
sharp and curt. “You are not to move, for any reason, understood?”
With a pant, Jared nodded. The Judge helped him waddle to the nearest guest
room, where he gently hefted Jared onto the bed. Jared moaned as he rolled
slightly. The Judge propped him up with many pillows, fretting as a breeder
would.
“I have to go into town for a case,” the Judge spoke to Jared. “I wish I
didn’t, but this business is urgent and must be handled by myself directly. I
leave you with the Doctor. I know…” he looked at Jared and a gave him a knowing
smile. “He isn’t your favorite person, but we can’t have you stay alone and he
would do well with some company just the same. I will see you tonight.” The
Judge placed a hand on Jared’s shoulder and gave a slight squeeze before
leaving, his boots sounding firmly on the floors.
Jared lay back and closed his eyes, intending to do so for but a moment.
He slept all day.
He slept through midday and into the afternoon. He woke up to find the Doctor
sitting on a chair beside the bed. Startled, Jared flinched. The Doctor put a
hand up.
“I apologize for scaring you,” he murmured. “I wanted to see how you were
feeling.”
“Better sir,” Jared replied, his voice barely above a whisper, his head kept
down.
“Good…” the Doctor cleared his throat and rubbed his hands together, as if
trying to think of something to say. Jared watched him carefully. He was still
extremely fatigued, but he had to be on watch to make sure the Master didn’t
require anything, so he could be prepared. He wondered if the Doctor would
require his service after all.
“I’ve been reading about the customs here,” the Doctor began to speak, his
voice scratchy. “It is some sort of official law that breeders are not to begin
carrying litters before the age of fifteen. How old are you, Jared?”
Without any hesitation, Jared replied, though afterwards he regretted doing so
that quickly. He couldn’t refuse to answer a Master’s direct question but he
wished he at least had some say in the information he gave out, especially to
someone he didn’t know that well.
“I’m fourteen, sir.”
The Doctor nodded and looked away, towards the doorway. He held his hands
against his chin, contemplating something. Jared shifted, trying to alleviate
the pressure in his hips. Every movement took effort, even something as small
as moving around. He was also very thirsty and nauseous, with a headache coming
on, but nothing could be done about that until the Judge returned.
“Would you tell me why you are carrying two years before it is safe or legal
for you to do so?”
The question was given as if it were nothing, as if the Master wanted to know
the weather outside, or if Jared had finished his duties for the day. The
casualness of it upset him but he hid any and all emotion.
He must have waited too long to reply, because the Master asked once more, this
time with more force to his voice. It was clearly a command and not a
suggestion.
“S-sir,” Jared mewled, “please… I…” He felt tears form and his face flush with
shame. He held onto his belly.
“Tell me,” the Master demanded, placing a hand on Jared’s chin, forcing eye
contact.
Jared breathed in shakily, panic rising in his chest. The pups kicked, sensing
his rising discomfort. “I… at the… academy…”
“Spit it out!” The hand on his chin squeezed and Jared yelped.
“I was offered marriage, sir!” Jared blurted out, tears spilling over. “And a
position as first breeder in a large household. I… he… this Master… promised…
p-promised me… but he said it was necessary… had to get his money’s worth…”
Jared panted in distress. “I wasn’t… please… Master… I wasn’t… acceptable,
sir.”
The Doctor let go and stood up, balled his fists together, shoulders trembling.
Jared braced himself, expecting to be struck because now this Master knew the
extent to which Jared was forever marred. He knew of the disgrace the breeder
faced, how far he’d fallen.
“And what happened after? You carried? You were expelled from that academy?
What?” The Doctor’s voice might have an edge of desperation to it, but Jared
can only pick up on the rage. His handsome features are twisted by the anger,
green eyes burning. “What happened?”
Jared could no more stop his tears from falling than he could stop the Master
in front of him from yelling at him and demanding him to relive painful
memories.
“Stop it,” the Doctor hissed and grabbed Jared by the shoulders, hands rough
and grasping hard enough to leave bruises. “Stop crying and tell me already.”
With a sob, Jared choked out, “I… I lost… m-my first litter…” There’d been so
much blood and so little explanation. “My family… they… sold me… no one… no one
wanted to buy… m-me… please, sir.”
“No. Keep going.”
“I… I...” Jared hiccupped. “They put me at a discount auction. Nathaniel
recognized me. From… we… the academy… Master bought me…” Jared broke down and
began to sob into his hands, memories of his shame and the repeated public
auctions he had been put through and the breeder kennels he had been forced to
stay at in between flooded back. He shook in the Doctor’s grip.
The only response he received form the Doctor was to be roughly shoved away
before he turned and stormed out of the room, slamming the door behind him.
Jared cried harder, in relief and in pain. His entire body ached and he
couldn’t find a steady breathing rhythm.
Second breeders had to be good; there were so many other breeders that might
take their place. A Master could sell his second breeder if the breeder proved
to be difficult, disrespectful, or a disgrace to the household. Once a second
breeder received a bad reputation from a Master it was difficult to be sold to
any kind of decent household or Master. The ones who passed three times at
auction without being purchased were sent off to a breeding farm, where they
stayed attached to mechanisms Jared had only heard about in whispers at the
academy. They lived out the rest of their days breeding and providing milk at
accelerated rates, until their bodies gave out.
Jared had been on his third auction—deeply discounted—when Nathaniel spotted
him.
Lost in his past and uncertain about the present and the future, Jared fell
asleep, preferring numbing unconsciousness to the pain of being awake.
 
The next two days passed easily because Jared was asleep for most of it.
The Doctor completely ignored him and did not visit his bedside again. The
Judge offered Jared meals—which he did not take—but beyond that, kept his
conversation and company to a minimum. Jared knew that the Doctor had informed
the Judge about his past and that must explain the difference in behavior. He
tried not to think about it.
On Wednesday morning, his Master returned. The Judge and the Doctor led him to
Jared’s room, where Jared was struggling to get up on his own so he could
assume the right position for his Master. He trembled with excitement. He
wanted to be in his own household, with his own Master and Nathaniel, with his
own sense of rightness in the world.
Even when the whip struck him, Jared was still grateful.
He was whipped on the lawn—twenty lashes on his back—as the Doctor and Judge
watched.
Master was apologizing for such a lazy, useless breeder that should not have
been lying about like some kind of pathetic slug. Jared took the first five
lashes without crying out and by the time Master had tucked away his whip and
dragged him into the carriage, Jared was mumbling nonsense, dazed and in shock.
He was allowed in the carriage because he was too big to walk properly and
Master couldn’t risk the litter at this stage.
Even still, Jared was grateful.
 
Later that night, Nathaniel washed Jared’s back with a warm rag.
“You’re still expected to do your chores,” Nathaniel murmured, wringing out the
rag. Jared watched as the rag slowly turned a dark red. “And you will do so
until you or I go into labor. Understood?”
“Yes sir,” Jared whispered, closing his eyes.
He slept well that night, tucked away in his closet.
 
The next day, Nathaniel went into labor. Master came home from his business at
once, having been informed by messenger. Jared dragged over three pails of
water into the birthing room. Nathaniel moaned and cried out in pain, grasping
onto the bed sheets. The second breeder wet his brow with a rag and tried his
best to make the first breeder comfortable.
Instructions on what to do had been given to Jared months prior and he had them
memorized down to the smallest detail. He was to assist the Doctor with the
birth and nurse the child until Nathaniel properly recovered.
At least that had been the plan.
Master arrived and sat next to Nathaniel’s bedside, holding his hand and
murmuring comforting words. He ordered Jared to get another three pails of
water, as only three didn’t seem sufficient to him. Jared waddled towards the
well outside, near the garden, and set two pails down. He would have to make
two trips. The sun was strong and humidity weighed heavy in the air, making
Jared sweat all the more. As he lifted the second pail up from the well, he
felt something inside him snap.
 
He felt an immense pressure in his belly. Pain rolled from his hips to his
entrance and he felt a gush of something warm between his legs as it dripped
down.
His water broke.
Jared groaned and leaned against the well.
 
This was not good.
***** Shut *****
Every breeder possessed a chip.
Where their chip was implanted, the breeder themselves did not know. That
information was classified and only shared with their Masters. The chip served
several important purposes, one of which was location and tracking. A breeder
could never truly be lost to its Master.
The second was tied directly to the breeder’s fertility system. During their
years of training at an academy, they were sorted out into two classes: first
and second breeders. Breeders with exceptional abilities and high rates of
fertility were placed in the first category. Breeders who had disciplinary
problems, came from lower class backgrounds, or had histories of miscarriages
were placed in the second category. However, the academy’s standards were only
suggestions for future Masters. It was up to each Master to select two breeders
for their household.
This was a decision each Master was prepared to make very early on in their
lives. It was a decision that would impact the future of their blood lines and
the stability of their households. The first breeder they selected had to have
the genes to provide a healthy, intelligent child—the future heir. The second
breeder had to be submissive to the first breeder, follow directions, and
provide enough pups to fulfill the government quota. Second breeders were given
two chances within five years to miscarry, but it would forever be marked on
their records. First breeders were given one chance within ten years to
miscarry; their offspring were technically more valuable to the household.
 
In many households there was obvious abuse of the second breeder by the first
breeder. However, theirs was a relationship bound by their Master. Each had to
make sure their Master came first.
 
First breeders could only carry up to two children at a time. Second breeders
had their own systems and ranks of reproduction, and because their offspring
did not stay in the household, they were considered pups, not children. Masters
were taught that it was of the utmost importance to ensure that second breeders
did not see their offspring as belonging to them. Their pups belonged to the
government and they should be glad for it.
The chips controlled a breeder’s category and placement. It changed the makeup
of their bodies. Because the children of first breeders were valued, a first
breeder’s health was valued. They could heal faster but Masters understood that
the health of their future heir depended on the health and well-being of the
breeder that carried that heir. Second breeders were designed to endure great
amounts of physical pain—partly to accommodate the number of births they
had—and they quickly became an outlet for a Master’s frustration.
However, a second breeder had an individual limit. The more well-fed and rested
a second breeder was, the more pain they could take. A poorly treated second
breeder did not heal as fast and felt pain in larger amounts.
Which was what Jared was experiencing at the moment.
 
Somehow, he managed to drag one pail of water back to Nathaniel’s birthing
room. Master looked up and gasped, seeing the wetness in between Jared’s naked
legs—the robes the other Masters had given him had been taken away immediately
after.
Jared fell on his knees to assume position, shaking as he held back another
contraction. Nathaniel’s heavy breathing filled the room; he didn’t notice
Jared.
Master rose up and grabbed Jared’s hair.
“This is fucking unacceptable!” he hissed into Jared’s ear.
“I…”
“I don’t want to hear your excuses!”
 
Before he knew it, or could even protest, Jared was dragged down the hallway by
his hair. Masters were naturally stronger than any breeder—first or second—and
this had always frightened Jared. The ease with which his Master dragged him
through the house and outside bothered him more than the physical pain. His
skin became covered with scrapes and dirt as he was shoved into the wine
cellar. His Master purposefully placed him on his back, unable to get up.
“Master, please!” Jared gasped in desperation. “I can still help! I can still…”
“You stay here until I can figure out what to do with you. I’ve had enough of
this!”
 
The cellar doors were shut and locked. 
***** Pushed *****
All breeders—regardless of class or station or rank—are taught that giving
birth is the most beautiful, worthy act they can hope to achieve in their
lives. From an early age they are introduced to the concept of giving birth and
providing for the government. It is an honor. If a breeder dies in birth, it is
an honor.
Because they died serving their one purpose.
Jared didn’t want to die.
 
 
His training told him to stay quiet and obey his Master. To accept his current
situation and his fate and wait, patiently, because this must have some greater
purpose his simple breeder mind could not grasp.
He tried that to start but in the end, he could not help screaming.
There was nothing wonderful or beautiful about this pain. His insides were
under a pressure so heavy, the contractions made it worse. He managed to drag
himself to a corner of the cellar where there were no wine bottles. He dug his
hands into the dirt floor and sat up as much as he could, bracing his feet on
the ground through each contraction. The pups were moving and his entrance was
stretching open but he felt something odd. Through the layers of pain and heat
and pressure, there was something there, at the top curve of his belly that he
knew wasn’t quite right.
Drawing in deep breaths in between screams, Jared felt his head roll. How could
this be what his life was worth? How had it all come to this? It was dark and
damp in the cellar. He didn’t even have a robe to make use of, should the pups
come before Master came back.
Those thoughts didn’t last long because the pain slowly took over every inch of
his mind. The contractions were closer and closer together; he couldn’t steady
his breathing or his heart rate. The cellar was closing in on him. He knew in
his bones that he would be giving birth here, on a dirt floor. He was past the
point of crying. He could only scream through the pain. Warm liquid spurt out
of his entrance and he couldn’t tell what it was. He prayed that it wasn’t
blood, though it smelled like it. A little blood was normal but that amount
meant something Jared desperately tried not to think about.
Jared had no way of telling how much time passed, but it seemed like an hour
went by. A birth typically took anywhere from one to two hours. He didn’t even
know if Master had sent for a government official.
“Ahh!” Jared groaned, shutting his eyes tight and straining to sit up. He
twisted his hips and tried to roll onto his side. Another gush of what he now
knew to be blood came out. The floor underneath him was sticky with it. He had
no idea what to do if the birth took longer. Or even what to do with the pups
once they were out. Sweat poured down his forehead as he grunted, gritted his
teeth, and went through another series of contractions. Not only were the
contractions painful, but his entrance stretching to accommodate the birth
burned, as if he was tearing open.
“Oh! Oh! Uhh…” he panted and moaned as he trembled and felt a pup move lower.
It dropped down and stayed, pressing uncomfortably near his hips. He decided to
try pushing, but stopped once the result was another output of blood. The sound
of his breathing pounded in his ears. What would he do? How could he get
through this? Any more blood and he’d pass out.
A pup moved in such a way that Jared howled.
His entrance was stretching more but nothing more was happening.
 
In the middle of a scream, Jared didn’t hear the cellar door being ripped open.
He barely saw the person in front of him, partly because of how dark it was; he
was delirious with pain. His eyes could barely focus as another contraction
shot through, followed by blood.
The person, whoever they were, disappeared, if they had been there at all.
Jared sobbed, his chest heaving, one hand on his belly. How much longer he
could survive doing this, he didn’t know. He had always hoped someone would be
with him as he gave birth to his first successful litter. Faces from his past
haunted him whenever he closed his eyes. The day he had been forced to leave
the academy, he’d been told repeatedly that they had had such high hopes for
him.
When he opened his eyes again, the Doctor was there, knelt down in front of
him, pushing his legs apart.
“Stay conscious,” he ordered, his voice soft but commanding. “I’m here now. You
have to stay with me.”
Jared twisted and gasped for breath, struggling to decipher what was real. Of
all people, why would he imagine this Master? It had been clear to Jared that
neither strange new Master truly cared for him or what happened to him; he was
just a minor event in both of their lives. He tried to push the hallucination
away, kicking at it, and when his foot hit the Doctor in the chin, he gasped.
“Master! I… I’m… ahhh!” Jared tried to apologize but was interrupted by a
contraction that shook his entire body. Sweat continued to drip down his
forehead. He had his legs propped up and resting on the Doctor’s shoulders.
“We should move him, Jensen.”
“No, he’s too far dilated. Jesus. Can you get a basket or something? Somewhere
to put them?”
“Yes, of course.”
“Jared,” the Doctor shouted over Jared’s scream. “Calm down. You need to
breathe.”
“It hurts! Master, something… something’s wrong!”
“Nothing is wrong. You’re fine. You need to focus on pushing. You’re nearly
ready.” It irritated Jared that this Master thought he knew Jared’s body better
than he did and that he could keep his voice so calm and even at a time like
this. He wanted to kick the Doctor off of him and do this himself. The second a
warm rag touched his forehead, Jared forgot why he had been so angry.
“You’ve got my bag, yeah?”
“Yes, right here.”
“Good. Might need forceps.” The Doctor took his shirt off, raised Jared’s hips,
and placed it underneath him. The Judge crouched beside Jared and held his
hand.
“They’re less than a minute apart,” someone said.
“Breathe. Keep breathing. Almost ready.”
Something else was said by someone, but Jared didn’t hear it. He felt himself
open up and a new kind of pressure began. He felt the need to push. He closed
his eyes and let out a scream, a contraction coming out of nowhere. Even the
damp rag on his forehead wasn’t helping. The pain was worse and he felt himself
bleed onto the Doctor’s hands, which were pressing at his entrance.
“Fully dilated. Ready with that basket? Put your shirt down in it.”
“Already done. How is he?”
“Fine. I’ll fucking kill him. I swear to god, Misha, I’ll kill him.”
Jared moaned and whimpered in between a contraction. His back hurt. The
pressure was breaking him in two. And the Doctor had just admitted he would
kill him. No one would question it either.
“Not you, Jared, not you,” the Judge blurted out, sensing Jared’s panic.
“Jensen.”
“Fuck. Sorry. Just breathe, Jared. Breathe. You’re ready to start pushing. I
need you to push after a contraction, not during, okay? Do you understand?”
“Yes sir,” Jared groaned and squeezed the Judge’s hand. His back was bothering
him but he didn’t know what to do. His breathing became labored and his hands
started to tremble.
“What’s wrong? Jared? What’s wrong?” the Doctor asked, his hands resting on the
backs of Jared’s thighs.
“M-my back… hurts…”
The Doctor looked towards the Judge. They talked amongst themselves and shifted
Jared into two positions. They first tried propping Jared up, so he was half
sitting, half squatting. When that didn’t work, they lay Jared on his left
side, his right leg pushed up as far as it would go. That worked for a few
minutes but Jared was in as much pain as before. Finally, the Judge and the
Doctor placed him on all fours. Jared held onto the Judge’s shoulders and
Jensen worked behind Jared.
“If it wasn’t so fucking dark in here,” Jared heard the Doctor mutter. “Okay,
push. One, two, three!” He shouted the command and Jared’s training took over.
He pushed with muscles he had never known existed. Clinging to the Judge’s
shoulders and screaming, Jared pushed as long as he could, gasping and panting
for breath when he stopped. Another contraction hit but he was unable to
scream, his throat shot. The Doctor’s hands were pressed on his stomach,
feeling for something but Jared didn’t know what. He trembled with effort as he
was commanded to push again and again, with only a minute or two of rest.
“Crowning, first one’s crowning. Fuck. Just a good push and the head will be
out. Got that? Push!”
Jared dug his hands into the Judge’s shoulders and buried his face in the crook
of the Master’s neck as he pushed. He felt a great amount of pressure build in
his hips and a continuous burning sensation at his entrance. He wanted to stop.
He wanted this to be over. He felt the Doctor spread his legs out and heard him
shout for another push.
 
What seemed like an eternity later, the Doctor yelled out at the Judge.
“First one! Misha, Jesus…”
“Don’t Jensen.”
“I know, I know. Just… shit.”
There were rustling noises; Jared knew the Doctor was working quickly. He
didn’t know what exactly the Doctor was doing, but the relief in pressure was a
miracle. The Judge informed him that the first pup was out and in the basket.
Jared nodded weakly and braced himself for another contraction. Two
contractions later and he was silently screaming through another crowning. The
next three births were faster, barely two minutes apart, and they took their
toll on Jared.
“Keep him awake, I need him awake.”
“He’s cold, Jen!”
“Shut up, Misha! Just keep him awake! This one’s breeched. Fuck. Gotta turn
it.” Jared felt hands on his belly and wanted to push them away. It felt
uncomfortable, like his insides were being scrambled. He floated in and out of
consciousness, in his body one second and out of it the other. The Judge was
whispering things to him, wiping his forehead as Jared slumped against his
chest, but Jared couldn’t make any sense of it. He heard the command to push
and tried, but he was exhausted. He had reached his limit.
“No, you’re not giving up,” the Doctor growled. “Jared! You push right now or
I’ll whip you myself!”
The threat of the whip in this state caused Jared to sob and he weakly gave two
more pushes, praying for the pain to go away. He felt the fifth pup slip from
him and into the Doctor’s hands with a squelch. Jared shuddered and yelped,
arching against the Judge as he felt the last pup move down.
“It hurts! It hurts! Oh! Master! Please!” Jared cried out, eyes wide open,
staring towards the ceiling. He felt his entire body shake.
“Breathe! You have to breathe! Stop panicking! Misha! Hold him down!” the
Doctor sounded as desperate as Jared felt, which he knew to be a bad sign.
Panic rose and he bucked against both Masters, protesting and pleading for it
to be over. If they would just make it end, he begged.
Jared felt the head push at his entrance and then slip back inside. He cried as
he gave two more pushes and the same thing kept happening. The Doctor rubbed
the base of his spine with one hand and the inside of his thigh with the other.
Finally, Jared felt his body seize up. He sat up, almost straight, and gave the
last push he was capable of. When the pup was pushed out, Jared collapsed. His
world went dark but he could hear the Masters next to him. They spoke in hushed
tones as they carefully rolled Jared onto his side. Hands that Jared assumed
were the Doctor’s pressed down on his stomach; he felt something small push out
through his entrance. The Doctor pressed a cloth against Jared’s entrance and
the Judge wiped Jared’s face down with a new rag.
 
It took a long time for Jared’s heart beat to slow down.
Then he felt a weight on his chest.
Opening his eyes, he saw that the weight was a pup.
Jared cried and tried to push it away. The Doctor pushed it back.
“Jared, why…”
“No!” Jared snapped and curled up as much as he could, and shut his eyes
closed.
“Why don’t you want to hold him?” the Judge asked, his voice cautious.
Jared didn’t have the strength to explain to these foreigners that once the
pups were born, they weren’t his to hold. Forming any kind of attachment with
them—more than he had already—was asking for pain. The pup wriggled on his
chest and gave a small, shaky cry. Jared just wanted to store milk and sleep
without waking up again.
The second his hand touched the pup, he knew he was in trouble.
It was so tiny, so helpless.
A blood test would be given to it before it turned two weeks old, to see if it
would be a Master or a breeder. Jared put his good hand around its small body
and hoped that for its sake, it would be a Master. He wished happiness for the
pup. A life filled with success and good fortune.
He prayed for his pups to forgive him.
 
The Doctor had done a professional job, considering the conditions he had been
forced to work in. He had managed to cut all the pups from their cords. What he
didn’t do, was tell Jared that half had been born blue, curled up,
unresponsive--dead.
The Judge and the Doctor had tried to hide the evidence by swaddling them up in
pieces of shirts, like the others, but Jared knew. He knew it when he saw their
blue, wrinkled bodies. Their mouths were open slightly because the Doctor had
tried to resuscitate them. But their frail little hearts and lungs hadn’t
responded. Jared wondered how long they had been like that inside him.
“Cords were wrapped… around their necks…” the Doctor said, his voice filled
with something Jared recognized as failure. “I tried.”
Jared nodded and shut his eyes, holding the pup in the crook of his arm. The
failure wasn’t the Doctor, it was Jared.
He knew as sure as the sun would rise the next day that he would be put to
auction.
 
Government officials took very little time to storm into the cellar. They found
the two Masters covered in blood, a vegetable bin with two squirming pups, and
three stillborn lumps. Then they saw a sight that doomed Jared to what happened
next.
A second breeder holding a pup like it had any right to.
They reached out, with their thick black gloves, and wrenched the pup away from
Jared. The second breeder screamed and sobbed. He kicked and fought back,
clawing for the pup.
Someone shoved a doll in the breeder’s arms before they kicked him in the side.
“Second breeder number seven nineteen,” a faceless official announced, “this is
your second miscarry within the allotted span of five years. This will be
documented and reported. You are no longer considered a member of this
household. You will be put to auction and sold for the first offer.”
Jared barely heard any of that.
He watched as the two officials took the bin. He watched as the Doctor yelled
and raged and attacked the one not carrying the bin. He watched as the Judge
tried to break the two Masters up. He watched as the bin faded from his sight.
Three pups. He had sent three pups out into the world; he would never see them
again.
They would be taken to a training facility and become Masters in the government
armed forces or breeders supplied to those forces. That is what the city of
Meridian was known for; the pups from its second breeders were dedicated to
service. Each city had a different purpose for the government. Either way, no
second breeder got to keep any of their pups. Their entire lifetime would pass
without more than two minutes with each litter.
Jared watched as the meaning to his life left him.
 
The pup hadn’t been able to see, but it had wrapped a tiny hand around Jared’s
finger.
He was entirely numb when one official came back and thrust his legs apart.
The moan he made as his cock was pumped with a rough fist was without any
feeling. He lay there and stared at a wall, even when he felt the Judge’s hand
on his forehead.
A mechanism was attached to the tip of his bloated cock and it started pumping
what milk he had stored into an official government container, already labeled
with the number of pups it would go to. The mechanism hurt as it suctioned,
Jared recognized twinges of pain, but it was mostly a relief. Another pressure
gone from him. His balls eased up and shrunk as he was milked dry. The Judge
ran a hand through Jared’s hair.
“Good thing about still borns,” the official muttered, taking the pump off of
Jared. “Always enough milk for the ones that made it.”
This time, Jared watched as this time the Judge attacked the official, beating
him to the ground.
 
Hardly anyone noticed when Jared closed his eyes, clutching the doll to his
chest, and stopped moving.
***** Caged *****
The Doctor made an offer for Jared.
It was a very generous, cash offer.
Once the deal was on the table, Madison apologized and informed the Doctor—not
being from Meridian, he had to explain—that any attack towards a government
official carrying pups automatically banned a Master from the purchase of a
breeder for six months.
“My hands are tied, Doctor. I can’t sell him to you. Though I can’t understand
why you would want to invest in such bad stock. He’ll be useless when I’m done
with him.”
The Judge urged the Doctor that they should take their leave at once.
Hurried goodbyes were said and the two foreigners left.
Jared remained in the cellar.
For three days.
 
 
Weak from birth, blood loss, and the lack of food, he didn’t fight back at all
or even try to cover himself when the Master’s whip laid into him. They were
the kinds of lashes Jared knew would turn white and never completely fade,
despite his healing rate. Just like the memories of each crack, they would
follow him, spidery and thin ghosts.
Master only whipped him in the cellar, reopening wounds every time, because as
he was reminded, Jared wasn’t even worth fucking anymore. Jared agreed.
For three days he drank dirty water from a pail someone had left there. He saw
no sunlight, smelled no fresh air, and didn’t move more than he could crawl.
Sometimes he swore he could hear a child laughing or see the Doctor’s eyes in
the darkness, watching over him, commanding him to breathe. Sometimes he swore
there was a time in his life when he knew he was worth more than the dirt
underneath him, soaked in his own blood.
 
 
His arrival at the auction house was somewhat of a relief.
He had been dragged again, which he found easier this time without his belly.
For ten miles he didn’t even try to keep up with the carriage. Filthy from head
to toe—covered in mud, blood, and sweat—he was chained to a post as Master
sought out an auctioneer. The only thing he had to his name, beside his chip,
was the tattered doll the government official had thrown at him days before.
The doll was as dirty as Jared was, but he clutched it near at all times, even
managed to hold onto it through those ten miles. He pet its head as Master and
an auctioneer talked about his teeth, muscles, and scars.
No one could take that doll from him. No one tried to, either.
The dolls were given to second breeders who had trouble detaching from their
litters when the officials arrived. It was meant as a soothing tool. It hurt
Jared that it was the same size as the pup he had held. In the black button
eyes of the doll he saw his own frail pup.
Just before the auctioneer and the Master shook hands, Jared gave the doll a
gentle nuzz. He promised it that things would be okay.
Master handed over the control to Jared’s chip and they shook hands, sealing
whatever deal had been made. Master gave Jared one last look over before he
back handed the breeder, knocking him to the ground. Something was said but the
breeder couldn’t hear it. He was roughly dragged to the kennels after that, his
vision blurring in and out of focus. He knew these steps. He had done this
before. This time, doll was with him.
He briefly thought of how he hadn’t had a chance to say goodbye to Nathaniel,
or to wish him good fortune with his child. In the stark brightness of the
kennel, the thought died quickly. He was led to the arrivals cages and shoved
in, still chained.
Every surface in the kennels was gray and cold; a reminder that all breeders
that ended up here were the same.
There had been some hope that he would never end up back here, that he would
never relive any of this, but all of that hope died the second he had seen his
dead pups.
As he was blasted with cold water, he cried for his pups, especially the ones
that had survived.
It took several turns from the hose to get him cleaned off. But at the end,
even the doll was clean.
 
 
The breeders in the kennels did not speak to one another. It was a firm rule
they followed, even when they came back from an auction. There was no talking
and therefore no formation of any kind of friendship or comradeship. It was
their only defense mechanism; why talk to someone who might be sold in the next
hour?
Jared’s cage was small but he managed. The guards who walked through the aisles
were able to access his cage easily, without hurting his jaw too much as they
demanded service. It was illegal for the guards to fuck the kennel breeders,
but their mouths were fair play. Many of the guards used Jared but he noticed
they didn’t use him as often as some of the other new arrivals. He suspected it
was because the doll bothered them. As if the doll reminded them all of what
had happened to him and what could have happened to them had they been born
different.
Doll was the only thing Jared cared about. He tried to feed it some of the
gruel he was given. He pet Doll when it felt anxious or scared. He cradled it
in his arms when the lights were out. He covered its eyes when the guards
visited through the bars. He even went so far as to whisper to Doll that things
would get better.
For three days—from what Jared could tell, it could have been longer—they fed
him three portions of gruel a day and punished him if he didn’t finish. The
kind of punishment wasn’t important, just that it would happen and Jared was a
fast learner. He was hosed down twice a day and taken out once a day, at around
noon, for a walk around the kennel, chained and leashed. Everywhere he went,
Doll went. The guards made fun of him and Doll but he told Doll not to listen.
His arm healed and one of the guards sawed the cast off, discarding the only
thing Jared had from the two foreign Masters. He watched the guard toss it into
a trash bin and wondered if he was nothing more than a cast over something
broken.
 
 
The first auction did not go well.
He was muzzled and chained in a way that every part of him was exposed for
inspection. His body had lost the weight from carrying and he was back to his
original lean form. Despite the regular feedings, his ribs and hip bones still
jutted out, and his body was covered in evidence of his treatment. He left Doll
in his cage for the auction, and promised Doll that he would return.
Auctions were open to all eligible Masters. Some spots were reserved in
advance—most often to wealthy Masters who were looking for a temporary second
breeder or who owned government sponsored breeding farms—but most were first
come first serve. There was standing room only, with reserved spots the closest
to the platform. An auctioneer and an assistant stood on the platform with the
breeder on auction. Guards stood by, watching carefully. Masters could call out
questions about the breeder, and could ask for the breeder to be turned this
way or that, but no one could touch the breeder until a sale was made.
Each breeder was given three rounds of auctions. One per day. It kept the
kennels running smoothly without any strays or forgotten ones.
After three rounds, if a breeder was not sold, it was shipped off to a breeding
farm of a random selection.
Jared had never met or heard of a breeder who made it back from those farms.
 
 
Blinded by the bright lights that shone down on the platform, Jared was
sluggish and clumsy. His eyes refused to focus, though he was sure this was
purposeful. Disoriented, all he could make out was a room full of Masters
shouting and yelling and demanding that Jared be positioned ass up so they
could inspect his entrance.
The assistant walked over and complied with the wishes of the audience. Jared
mewled as a large plus was inserted inside him. He groaned when it was twisted
abruptly. It took a great deal of effort for him to tune out what some of the
Masters were saying.
“How’re his teeth?!”
“Scrawny! Is he discounted?!”
“Can he be used for outside labor?!”
Jared lay on the platform and tried to remain calm. The assistant poked and
touched him, twisted and turned him in a variety of positions. The bidding
started and Jared prayed. He prayed for a Master that would recognize his
training and obedience. He prayed to be good and quick and quiet. He prayed for
a household with a pallet and a bin and no more cellars. He prayed for Doll to
come with him.
A price was set.
No one bid.
Not one Master in the entire crowd bid on him. Not even after all the questions
and inspections and positions.
He was dragged back to his cage and hosed down. He was not given his third
portion of gruel that night.
 
 
“You need to do your fucking jobs and put some spirit into him! He just laid
there yesterday, like a dead fish! You two want to make your bonuses this
quarter? Yeah? Well then, do somethingabout this one. I'm fucking dying out
there.”
The main auctioneer had given his instructions to the two guards on duty when
breeders in Jared’s group were being muzzled and chained for auction. The three
of them had stood right outside of Jared’s cage. He curled up in the corner,
trying to make himself as small as possible. Doll was hidden behind him.
But it was too late.
Doll was ripped from him.
Doll was torn in half.
Doll was thrown on the ground and stomped on with one solid black boot.
Jared’s heart broke. His mind snapped. All of his training crumbled as he
screamed and raged against the guards. In vain, he reached for Doll. He could
mend her. He could still love her. If only she would forgive his failure.
Silent, she stared back at him. Jared’s screams echoed through the kennel and
it took four guards to subdue him with a mixture of whips and electric rods. In
a frenzy, he was led out to the stage and beaten. He bucked against each blow
and kept trying to get back to Doll. She couldn’t die without him. He’d
promised they’d die together if he couldn’t protect her.
An electric shock was sent down his spine and he made a noise so wracked with
pain that the auctioneer had him dragged off the platform and sent back to his
cage.
No one bid on him that day.
 
 
Without Doll, Jared suffered.
Even the guards noticed.
Even the other breeders noticed.
On his last auction, Jared growled at anyone who came near him. He twisted in
his chains and fought against being positioned or inspected. The auctioneer was
anxious to get rid of him and cut his auction time short.
“Any bids on number seven nineteen? Fourteen years young, plenty of potential.
Two miscarries, however, we are assured that when it turns fifteen chances at
carrying successful increase ninety-three percent! Tame him, take him home
today!” the auctioneer crowed and spoke quickly. He started the bid at a deep
discount. Silence. After another minute he dropped the price.
Another minute passed and the room was filled with silence.
Jared closed his eyes and lay his head down on the cool, steel platform.
He flinched when somewhere in the room, doors burst open. He heard the Masters
turning and murmuring amongst themselves.
“Hold on, sir! I have a bid for that breeder!” an unknown voice called out.
“I’d like him for my farm. As a breeder to experiment on. Is he useful for such
a purpose, sir?”
The auctioneer’s grin was so wide, it could be heard. “Why, of course! This
breeder is optimal for experimentation of all kinds. It has excellent healing
time and a high threshold. Shall we start the bid at four?”
“Wait!” the strange voice demanded. “I would ask for a quick inspection, sir.”
“Yes, of course. Any particular part you would care to see?” A motion was made
for the assistant to place Jared in position. He didn’t have the strength to
growl or protest.
“Perhaps the face? The jawline in particular.”
Jared did manage a shudder when he heard that. This Master sounded interested
as he and the auctioneer spoke while Jared bared his throat and the assistant
ran a hand down his jaw. What would he be made to do with his jaw? What kind of
work would require a strong jaw?
 
 
“I’ll take him.”
For a moment, Jared saw the Master who bought him before he was dragged back to
the kennels.
It was not the Doctor, nor was it the Judge.
Of course it wasn’t.
 
Jared didn’t blame them one bit as he was thrown into a processing cage to wait
for his new Master.
***** Country *****
Processing didn’t take long; auctioneers never wanted a Master to be kept
waiting for their new purchase.
The control to Jared’s chip was given over as soon as the Master’s credentials
were verified and the money was transferred.
“Is there any kind of guarantee attached to this one?” new Master asked,
looking at Jared through the cage. Jared huddled in the corner, curled up and
trying his best not to move or make any noise.
“Of course, sir. All my breeders come with a one month guarantee. If anything
should happen to him within that period, bring the body back and we will set
you up with a new one, complimentary.”
“Hmm, I see. Has he had a medical evaluation? How soon can he be bred?”
“We’ve taken care of his basic needs here, sir, I assure you. If you would like
we can recommend the name of a new Doctor in town.”
New Master waved off the auctioneer. “No, that won’t be necessary. I trained as
a vet for a while, I should be able to assess anything basic. Are we done
here?”
A rustle of papers was heard. A few more signatures and a handshake and Jared
was pulled from out of his cage. Instead of keeping protocol and putting his
head down, he looked up to get a clear view of this new Master. He was tall,
with a light red beard and dark brown hair. His eyes were violet. He was of a
bigger build but Jared could tell there was muscle there.
“Yes, good boy,” Master said with a laugh. “Memorize my face. There you go.
Let’s get you hooked up to my carriage and we’ll be on our way.”
“Will you be needing chains, sir?” an auctioneer asked. Jared had chains around
his neck, wrists, and ankles and was still wearing the muzzle. He was naked, as
all kennel breeders were, and it didn’t seem to him that Master would be taking
care of that any time soon.
“No, that’s quite alright. I have my own; came prepared to buy today. Lucky I
found this one.” Master gave Jared a pat on the head. Jared felt his training
kick back and whined because of it. He was afraid of this Master, who seemed
lively and exuberant. He was afraid of the farm he was being taken to. Of what
he would be made to do there.
Jared left the kennel the same way he had left it the last time: bound,
chained, and silent.
 
 
Master hooked the breeder up to the back of the carriage, where there was a bar
specifically to tie a breeder to, which told Jared that this Master did this
often. The carriage started forward and Jared yelped through his muzzle,
struggling to maintain a balance. When the carriage turned, Jared was careful
not to knock against a wheel or get caught underneath. He had learned.
Keeping his mind clear of any and all thoughts not associated with the
carriage, Jared trotted for hours. He saw a post in the road, a ten mile
marker, and he knew they still had a far way to go. Most farms were kept twenty
to thirty miles out of town. What surprised Jared was that each time they
passed a ten-mile mark, Master stopped the carriage and gave water to the
horses and Jared. He would take off Jared’s muzzle gently, and hold a pail of
water up for Jared to drink out of. At a thirty-mile mark, Jared was fed an
apple and a slice of bread.
“Thank you Master,” Jared murmured and ate everything, for fear of being
punished.
“Need your strength, finish up now,” Master replied and pat Jared on the head.
“Lots of work for you when we get there. Best to rest while you can.”
Those words chilled Jared but what could he do? He would have to try his best
and survive for as long as possible. He wasn’t sure that this fate was better
than any of the others he could have had, but he took his Master’s words and
appreciated each rest as it came. Jared was able to count eight markers by the
time they took a turn. Master had kept the pace of the carriage quick but not
so fast that Jared couldn’t keep up and the horses didn’t tire out.
From behind the carriage, Jared saw glimpses of the main house on a large piece
of farmland. The house was larger than his previous household, with grand
columns and a veranda in the front. It was stately and well-kept; Jared
wondered how many rooms there would be to clean. He wondered how many times
this Master insisted on a deep cleaning and if the kitchen inside was as nice
looking as the outside. Jared then wondered if he would even be allowed inside
the main house, as he was destined for the farm. He couldn’t see a barn from
his place but he felt a rising anxiety as he saw a breeder emerge from the
front door of the house.
 
The drive up the lane to the house seemed like it took an eternity. Jared
started to feel the fatigue of the day; his feet were open and bleeding from
the rough patches of country road they had been on. He was sweaty and panting
as he strained to get a better look at the breeder who was standing outside,
leaning against a column at the front entrance.
Master slowed the horses to a stop with a gentle call and tug to their reins.
He stood up in the driver’s seat and waved at the breeder. “Nicky! I told you
to stay inside!”
“You said a lot of things, Master!” the breeder replied, running down the steps
and to the carriage. Jared shied away, tucking himself behind a wheel. The
breeder walked right up to the driver’s seat and was promptly picked up.
Laughter from this breeder rang out, clear and happy. “I have everything set
up, just like you asked.”
“Good girl,” Master said, a lightness in his voice. “Go back inside. I’ll untie
this one and we can start.”
Jared took one last peek at the breeder. She had long, sleek black hair,
flawless pale skin, and shining, almond shaped eyes. She was dressed in a dark
red robe, tied in a simple, country style, but it fit her well and looked new.
She was obviously well taken care of. Jared thought her to be the first breeder
of the household, from the way she looked to the way she interacted with the
Master. She even had on a pair of black slippers, which he saw when she ran
back inside.
Master descended from the driver’s seat and walked around to the back, where
Jared was kneeling against a wheel. He looked down at Jared and frowned,
rubbing his chin with one hand. Jared kept his head down but couldn’t help the
tremors that ran through him as his fate unfolded.
 
Before Master said anything, Master unchained him from the carriage, then took
off the chains on his body.
“Get inside and Nicky will show you where you can clean yourself off,” Master
commanded, hanging the chains onto the carriage. “I expect you clean and
dressed for dinner. Then we will discuss your assignment and your place here.
If you give Nicky any trouble—any in the slightest—you will answer to the whip
I keep in my pocket, do you hear?” Master grabbed Jared by the hair and forced
him to make eye contact. “Is that understood, breeder?”
“Yes sir,” Jared blurted out, nodding as best he could.
Master let go and pat him on the head, pushing him towards the house. “Go on
then. Nicky will see to you.”
Jared wasn’t sure what was worse. Being at the mercy of this Master or the
breeder who could say and do anything to Jared as they pleased.
 
It was his duty to always obey the first breeder as he would his Master but he
couldn’t stop the feeling of dread in his stomach as he walked towards the
house.  
***** Change *****
This household would be radically different from his previous one, Jared could
tell that as he stepped into the ornate entryway.
Light spilled everywhere from the many floor to ceiling windows. To his
immediate left there was a grand staircase that wound around and led to a far
off hallway, where he supposed the private rooms were tucked away. For a
country home, everything in the main house was sophisticated, modern, and
carefully decorated down to every last detail. In the center of the entryway,
was a round dark cherry table with a crystal vase full of fresh roses. They
were a dark red, almost the same red as the robe the first breeder wore. Jared
wanted to touch the roses; he hadn’t thought about the garden he tended to at
his previous household but now he did, and he hoped that someone remembered to
water it. Especially the roses, because as pretty as these were in this large
house, he knew he could grow ones with a fuller body.
The overall color theme was a delicate eggshell white, accented with dark woods
and wrought iron. Hints of color were artfully positioned throughout the
household, mostly in dark reds and rich violets. Tasteful paintings hung in a
few spots, but nothing gave the impression that whomever lived here was trying
too hard. A chandelier sparkled above him. All the floors were marble, cool,
sleek, and polished underneath Jared’s bare, bloody feet.
He wondered what he looked like, caked in dirt and blood from the long journey,
in contrast to the wealth around him. He knew that he would not be seeing much
of the main house. He couldn’t even imagine the rest of the household. How did
it all stay so clean? Every detail was immaculately tended to; not a speck of
dust anywhere. He felt a small swell of pride for the second breeder who kept
such a beautifully run household. However, that pride quickly died as he
realized the amount of backbreaking work it would have to take to keep the
entire household in such a state.
Stepping carefully through the entryway and into a cozy sitting room, Jared
wondered how many pups and breeders had been sold from this household. How many
had passed through here in the same condition as he, and how many more would
there be after him?
“Your mouth is open,” a voice giggled. “Kind of like a fish.”
Jared flinched, turned around, and froze. He immediately threw himself down on
the ground, assuming the proper position of respect for his new first breeder.
He bared his neck and looked up.
“Oh my goodness. You are a flighty one, aren’t you? Eli said you would be. Get
up, no need to do that here.” The new breeder walked over to him and touched
his shoulder. Her hands were silky soft, the same as Nathaniel’s. She urged him
to stand up and Jared complied, getting up with a wince. They were almost the
same height, Jared was perhaps an inch taller. At five foot ten, he was tall
for a breeder, and some auctioneer had once crowed that Jared would continue to
grow as soon as he hit maturity.
The breeder in front of him, though tall like him, was curvy and smelled like
vanilla.
“My name is Nicky,” she said with a smile, slipping a hand into his and giving
a small squeeze. “What’s your name?”
He had no idea how to respond to her holding his hand—Nathaniel had certainly
never touched him more than necessary, to dress his wounds at times or punish
him—so he didn’t move at all. “Jared, mistress,” he murmured.
“Jared, well, Eli has asked me to look after you for now. Let’s go take a bath
and get you dressed for dinner.” She pulled on his hand and they walked down a
wide, open hallway and then up a flight of stairs in the back of the house.
“These are breeder stairs. We take these stairs when there’s company over so we
can go through the house unseen and unheard. That’s always very important. When
Eli has guests over he expects us to be invisible. Are you clear on that?”
Though her voice was light and cheerful, Jared heard the threats underneath it.
Behave or pay.
A nod was given in response as she led him through another hallway and into a
series of rooms. It disoriented Jared. He realized, looking around in awe, that
he could get lost in this household. He had no idea how to get back to the main
entryway. The thought frightened him. He could be shut away and entirely
forgotten about at any moment. At least in the cellar, someone had heard him.
Even his closet hadn’t been so isolated.
 
Eventually, they reached an opulent bathroom, with a tub in the center,
surrounded by four grand pillars. Again, everything was marble and in the same
color scheme as the rest of the household. There was a vase of the same roses
on a countertop, which had a small velvet seat in front of a mirror. Jared let
go of Nicky’s hand as he stared and took everything in. An orderly row of
bottles were arranged at the edge of the tub. Two dark red robes were neatly
folded on top of another extensive countertop. A smaller, more practical tub
was situated next to a window, which faced the lawns in the back of the
property.
It all left Jared breathless.
“Let’s get in?” Nicky suggested, her voice as soft as her skin.
“In?” Jared gasped. He started to tremble. “I… I only… need a bucket,
mistress…”
She frowned and he worried if he had said something to offend her. He tried to
gauge her favored method of punishment. Nathaniel had always gone with slaps
but he would sometimes shove Jared if the situation called for it. Jared
doubted she would want to harm her hands though.
“Take a bath with me, Jared,” Nicky said in a firm voice, much like the way the
Judge had at first spoken to him. “It’s already filled and heated and I can
dress whatever wounds you have. Don’t worry, it’s not that deep.”
“Yes mistress,” Jared mumbled. He walked to the edge and waited for her as she
undressed. He blushed as he realized how lovely she looked next to him. Didn’t
she realize how dirty the water would get with him in it? She stood in front of
him and smiled, taking his hands into hers.
“C’mon, I have peach scented bubbles I’ve been saving.”
 
Initially, the warm water stung at the various open sores and wounds Jared had
throughout his body. It also hurt his entrance, which was still not fully
healed, nor were the muscles in his lower stomach. The journey to this new
household hadn’t helped; he felt pain become new and raw after a minute in the
tub.
Nicky held him to her chest and soothed him, lightly washing him off with a
hand towel. She poured a mixture of salve on it and wiped over the lashes on
his back and between his legs.
With great care and patience, she cleaned his entrance, cock, and balls. Jared
noticed that she looked nearly the same as he, only she had a female chest. Her
breasts were full, pert, and pink. Her cock was large but hung in the prettiest
way. She was a rare form of breeder and he tried his best not to stare or look
too long. She was beautiful in every aspect and it made him nearly cry when he
realized the tub water had turned an ugly color.
“That can be fixed easily, don’t worry,” she whispered into his ear, her breath
warm. “I push this button and the water will drain and be replaced within a
minute. Ready? Here we go.” With a click, the tub did exactly as she said would
happen. Fresh, warm water surrounded them and this time, it didn’t hurt Jared
as much. He sighed and allowed her to clean the rest of him without too much
shame.
“You’ll need a plug,” she said after a while. “You’ve recently had a litter, I
can tell. You can borrow one of mine until we get you one. Just to make sure
your muscles heal properly. Have you ever worn a plug before?”
Jared nodded. She swam over to the edge of the tub that had the bottles of
soap. He could hear her moving a few things around and opening a box. When she
came back, she carefully inserted a plug into him. He shuddered and clenched
against it, groaning when pain hit him.
“It’s not that big so it won’t cause you additional discomfort. If it does, you
will let me know. C’mon now, this tub is big, don’t you want to move around?”
It was indeed large enough for them to be able to actually swim in small laps;
certainly large enough for her to float next to him.
“I… mistress?” Jared asked, confused. He was grateful enough for the bath and
the care she had taken with him. One of the first baths at his previous
household had been memorable because he had been dropped into the tub without
any warning.
“Don’t worry,” she replied with her usual smile. “Would you wash my hair for
me? Oh, wait, let me put in bubbles first. Eli bought it for me on his trip to
the northern states. Did you know that breeders there bake the best bread? Eli
says mine is better but the way he couldn’t stop talking about it, I didn’t
believe it for a second.” A drop of liquid from a glass bottle was added and
Jared held in a sigh. It made the water smell like fresh, ripe peaches. She
handed him a bottle of soap and dunked her head in to get her hair wet. Jared
worked her fine hair into a lather with great care, afraid to mess up, while
she talked. Her voice was soothing, even when she spoke quickly, excited by
whatever subject she was on.
At some point, Jared wanted to ask her how the household ran, and more
importantly, where was he to be placed within it. But that wasn’t appropriate
behavior. At any moment this first breeder could decide that Jared wasn’t worth
her kindness, time, or patience. At any moment she could be threatened by his
presence. Perhaps he had disturbed her lovely household by merely existing.
Sometimes at the academy, he had heard whispers of first breeders poisoning
second breeders who caused too many problems for them and the households. It
was a terrible thing; breeders were supposed to—ideally—support each other and
do the best they could to fulfill their duties to their Master and the
government.
Those fears, combined with the fact that Jared had no idea where he was in this
household or where the nearest exit was, caused his hands to tremble. Nicky
must have noticed because she said they should get to dinner soon, and promptly
went back underwater to wash the soap out. Jared waited for her to say he could
do the same, which she did, and he relished the feeling of stepping out of the
tub clean for the first time in a long while. Being hosed down was not the same
as sharing a large tub with his new first breeder.
“You have such lovely features,” she announced when they were getting dressed.
“You’ll be quite handsome when you’re my age.”
Jared looked at her, questioning with his eyes as best he could. She laughed,
easy and natural. “I’m sixteen. Eli bought me when I was your age. Some of the
same circumstances, you could say.”
For the first time since they had met, her eyes darkened. She was quick about
moving on. “Anyway, yes, I knew it! This color is wonderful on you. I’ll tie
yours differently than mine to suit your frame.” Her hands expertly retied his
robes. They held hands again as she led them downstairs through the main
staircase and into the kitchen. She had taken the time to bandage his feet and
provide him with a pair of his own black, silk slippers.
 
Still on edge, he gasped when they reached the kitchen.
Master was serving plates.
Jared fell to his knees and waited for a whipping. He had been so lazy, so
careless, so selfish that Master had gotten hungry and had to feed himself.
“Goodness! Don’t do that so quickly, you startle me every time,” Nicky clucked.
With a gentle tap, she had him stand up again, though he was trembling. Master
looked at the two breeders carefully, a questioning expression on his face. He
looked to Nicky for an answer.
“He’s still getting settled in. You must have shocked him, standing there like
a giant in our kitchen. Dear god, what are you doing? Feeding bears? Your
presentation is atrocious.” Though she barely reached Master’s shoulders, she
managed to push him out of the way and take over serving. Jared gaped at the
open insolence that was being displayed. His heart was beating frantically as
he waited for punishment for each of them.
“Maybe if you let me do it more often, your highness,” Master grumbled and
shook his head. “Let’s set the table, Jared. Nicky doesn’t like to be bothered
while she plates, as you can tell.”
At last he was able to breathe, but he still didn’t stop eyeing Master from
time to time, trying to gauge his emotions and body language. Jared moved as
quietly and quickly as possible, following Master’s lead. They set down simple
placemats and table settings; Jared arranged the silverware and Master poured
himself a glass of wine. He poured two glasses of what looked to Jared to be
iced tea.
He only noticed that there were three places at the table when they had
finished.
He stared, dumbfounded.
“Your mouth is hanging open again,” Nicky giggled as she set down Master’s
plate first, then one nearest to Jared. She balanced three plates perfectly and
served herself last.
“Sorry mistress,” Jared stammered. He kept his head down and fidgeted, waiting
for direction.
Master cleared his throat. “Well? Sit down, Jared. It’s not a difficult
concept.”
“Hush!” Nicky snapped. She looked at Jared. “Go on, you can sit. I know it’s
unusual, but we are free to dine at the table when it’s just us. When there’s
company we have pillows.” She gestured towards a corner of the dining room
where there were indeed two silk pillows. “And we are expected to serve from
there, as I’m sure you’re familiar with. But for now, let’s eat. I thought it’d
be best to make something simple. It’s chicken pot pie with a little less
cream—Eli, don’t eat so fast—so it shouldn’t upset your stomach. And the tea is
herbal, isn’t it, Eli?”
Master merely grunted and nodded, shoveling a chunk of pie into his mouth.
Nicky sighed and rolled her eyes. Jared only tried not to keep staring at
either of them as he sat down and looked at his plate. The portion was huge.
The food smelled wonderful. He could tell that the crust had been handmade. All
of the ingredients were fresh. Though Master had a bigger portion than either
of the breeders, it was still more than Jared had seen given to him since his
time at the Doctor or Judge’s household.
Throughout dinner, Nicky chatted while Master replied in his usual manner.
Jared ate as much as he dared, not wanting to upset the first breeder if he
should throw any of it up later on. He started to feel pain again and all of
what had happened to him in the past day sank into him with sharp teeth. It was
a struggle to stay awake or sit upright.
“Why did you have to make him walk behind, Eli? Wouldn’t have killed you to put
him in the carriage,” Nicky muttered as she cleared the table. Master was now
reading a newspaper and smoking a pipe which he had packed and lit himself.
He took a drag and replied, “Had to make sure no one was watching and you know
that. He did just fine, anyway. Take him to bed. We’ll continue this tomorrow.
He give you any trouble?”
“None at all. We had fun. I used my peach bubbles.”
Master pulled her near even though her arms were full with plates. He buried
his face in her slim belly and she laughed. “Get off me, Eli. Jared, tell him
that’s not fair. Really, while I’m carrying plates!”
“Ignore her,” Master said with a deep laugh and let her go. “Maybe you
shouldn’t wear such tight robes.”
“Of course not. We’ll see how long you last without them. Jared, would you help
me with the dishes? Eli, go smoke that in your study. I’ll not have it stinking
up the dining room. Go. So Jared and I can speak without your odor.”
It never ceased to appall Jared the manner in which Nicky spoke to Master. He
didn’t know what bothered him the most—what she said, how she said it, or how
she called him by his name. Not even Nathaniel had done the latter directly to
their Master. Even more shocking was that this Master listened to Nicky. He got
up, said a terse good night to Jared, gave a kiss to Nicky, and disappeared
into one of the many hallways that led to one of the many rooms.
By lamplight, the two breeders washed and cleaned the kitchen. Nicky asked
Jared few questions, making sure to stay away from his past, mostly about what
foods he liked to eat and dishes he was good at preparing. She enthusiastically
requested that he make napoleons for dessert the following night. When they
finished, she opened a drawer and pulled out two chocolate coins, wrapped in
shiny gold foil.
“This isn’t every night, but it’s your first night with us so I thought it
might be appropriate. You can take a piece any time you like, but I think it’s
always best to save them for something special. Then they don’t lose their
specialness.” She unwrapped hers and urged Jared to do so with his. He did,
after marveling at it, and he gave her a small smile as he ate his treat.
Chocolate was especially delicious to breeders; he’d only had it a handful of
times before. He closed his eyes as the last bit melted in his mouth.
Finished, Nicky took his hand again and led them up the grand staircase. Master
had locked all the doors and done a sweep of the property before he had
disappeared into his study. With a candle in front of her, Nicky guided them
down a hallway and into a suite. She obviously knew the household very well, as
no turn or hallway confused her.
The suite they arrived at was simply decorated. It had one painting of a fruit
basket hung above the plain bed. A small but spacious nightstand was next to
the bed, with a jug for water already on it. A window with seating was opposite
the bed and a desk placed on the left of the window. The room was smaller than
most Jared had been able to glance at on his way up, but to him it was the
grandest thing. It had been tended to with care, as there was no dust and the
bedding looked fresh.
“This is your room, Jared. There’s a bell there, next to your bed. It’s
attached to a line that goes directly to Eli’s suite. If he ever requires your
assistance at night, he’ll ring once. If there is ever an emergency, he’ll ring
three times and you are to take our staircase to the attic, which I’ll show you
tomorrow. I’m staying with you tonight, to help you settle in. I hope you don’t
mind sharing a bed.”
“N-n-no mistress, I don’t m-mind,” Jared blurted out and began to cry. “I… I…”
Nicky placed an arm around him and pulled him close, whispering in his ear,
“Shh, now. Don’t cry. I’ll be here all night with you.”
She nudged their foreheads together and placed a gentle kiss on his nose.
 
Together, they undressed and slipped into the bed, which had room for both of
them and then some. Jared curled up and made no protest when she curled up
around him.
They slept pressed head to toe, tangled together, deep and easy, beneath two
layers of quilts that kept them warm through the night.
 
Jared fell asleep waiting for himself to wake up.
***** Clearing *****
Chapter Summary
     There are more questions than answers in Jared's new household.
Chapter Notes
     Short chapter. Usual warnings apply, read tags carefully.
     I'm off to work, so leave me lovely comments, questions, kudos, etc.
     All are immensely appreciated. Thank you for reading!
A breeder’s life was documented and recorded from the moment they were proven
to be breeders.
Their progress and status was continually updated on their chips. Not all
breeders were born in government facilities. Jared had had a family and he knew
of many breeders who came from families as well. The structure could be
confusing and learned to never question it. Select second breeders throughout a
district were chosen at random and were given the responsibility to raise a
family of their own. The Master had to approve this selection, and the amount
of second breeders that got to keep their litters was still very small, but
that is how Jared had been raised. He met breeders from government
facilities—raised by older breeders from various positions and places—and while
they came off sometimes as cold and distant, there weren’t too many
differences.
Jared frequently wondered what it would feel like to keep a litter and the
logistics of it. Would he be allowed to keep all the pups or would some be
taken away? He had never asked his mother questions. He barely remembered her
or his family household and he preferred not to think about his past. It never
did him any good. It wasn’t as if he would ever get to see her again.
Most breeders agreed that it was best not to form any attachments to other
breeders, beyond what they absolutely had to in order to serve the household.
Their attachment should be focused on the household and their Master.
 
Apparently Nicky did not think this way.
She hadn’t woken Jared up until it was almost time for a midday meal. When he
panicked, she assured him that Master had ordered her to let him sleep.
“I got to stay in bed too,” she chirped as she prepared a light salad. “I just
got up an hour ago myself.”
Jared chewed on his bottom lip, chopping up vegetables to roast alongside the
pieces of beef Nicky had set out. He took a deep breath and asked, “Where is
Master now?”
The first breeder flicked her hair back, tossing it over her shoulder. It moved
like silk.
“Eli’s in the stables. He’ll come in for lunch and then go back out until it’s
time for supper. Unless he decides to take care of some paperwork, but then
he’ll just be in his study.”
“Should I… go help him?”
Nicky stopped what she was doing and looked at Jared, puzzled. “What? No. Why
do you ask that?”
Immediately, Jared stammered out an apology, his hands shaking. Nicky put down
the bowl she had been holding and put her hands on Jared’s shoulders. “Jared,
you’re not here to work on the farm. There isn’t even a breeding farm here.
Haven’t you noticed that?”
He looked at her and then put his head down. “No mistress… I… I didn’t…”
“I’m not a first breeder, Jared, so you don’t have to address me that way. It’s
flattering you think of me that way, but my title is officially second breeder
of this household.” She tucked a stay curl of hair behind Jared’s ear. “Even if
I were your first breeder, I’d beg you not to call me that. We don’t need such
formalities between friends, right?”
“Friends?”
“Yes, of course. It’s been ages since I’ve had a breeder close to my age to
talk to. Everyone Eli brings here is usually older.”
“I… I don’t… I don’t understand,” Jared breathed, panic rising in his chest. If
he wasn’t here to work on the farm then what were the comments about his jaw?
What were the comments about the work to be done at the household? Where was
his place? A breeder without a place was useless and things here were already
strange enough. The same kind of dizzy, tipping feeling he felt at the Doctor’s
household he felt here, only it was magnified. He would be staying here for the
foreseeable future. He was property here.
Everything he thought he knew, once again, was incorrect.
He wished Doll was there.
He wished he had gotten one more minute with his pup. The weight of it on his
chest he would never forget.
“Let’s go outside,” Nicky said, breaking his silent panic. She slipped her hand
into his, as if it were the most natural act in the world. Through a door in
the kitchen they exited out onto a large deck, which had a simple table and a
set of six chairs for outside entertaining. He thought they might sit there,
but instead, she led them down the stairs, which led them out onto the lawns.
There was a garden, expansive and beautifully kept.
A fountain was near, with sculptures of cherubs and harps. The sound of the
water running was meant to be soothing but Jared only found it added to his
nerves. The water reminded him he was supposed to be doing something, always
supposed to be moving.
 
Nicky’s hand was firm on his and her paces were quick, which were somewhat
difficult to keep up with after a few minutes. She slowed occasionally, even
she was panting short, fast breaths, but overall, she kept them going. On and
on they pressed forward, through another garden and over a small bridge that
was built over a pond. Jared wondered just how vast the entire property was. He
hadn’t even seen the stable, though they were moving too fast for him to focus
on anything for too long.
 That sense of anxiety rose again, lodged in his throat, as he thought how far
away from the main house they were getting. He could see the house in the
distance but anything could happen to him out here and he would have no
explanation.
 
Finally, they stopped in a clearing.
A grave was there.
Jared gasped and fell to his knees. He put his forehead on the ground and bowed
before Nicky, first breeder or not.
 
The grave had on it the same dark red roses the rest of the household had and
Jared knew, before anything was said, that this was the grave of a breeder.
Of someone like him. 
***** Visit *****
Chapter Summary
     More is revealed to Jared after visitors arrive at the household.
Chapter Notes
     Please read the tags carefully, this is dark!fic-AU. Warnings for
     references to past deaths in this chapter.
     So we get some answers! Sorta! But not the most important answer of
     all...
     Questions, comments, feels, kudos, etc. are wonderful and always
     appreciated! Thank you for reading.
“Please, you have to stop doing that,” Nicky begged.
She knelt down on the ground with Jared.
There was a light breeze that wandered through the clearing, but it did nothing
to calm Jared down. All he could focus on was the grave of the breeder in front
of him. A dark question appeared in his mind: were there pups buried with that
breeder? Were their tiny bodies somewhere under there, forever lost to darkness
as his surely were?
The thought of his pups packed in dirt, in some unmarked, mass grave, broke his
heart. Never before had he questioned what happened to stillborn pups; the
first time he miscarried it had been in his first term and there hadn’t been
anything more than blood and cramps. But he had seen the bodies. These weren’t
cells or half formed things. They had been as their surviving siblings had
been, just less fortunate. Or more fortunate. Because somewhere out there were
his pups, breathing and crying and maybe they had finally developed the ability
to see.
A sob broke through him.
He was supposed to carry litters and serve the government. He was supposed to
be happy about that, to be honored and proud of his work.
But he wanted to know what was so great about carrying around grief as deep,
dark, and unknown as any ocean.
“Jared? Look at me, please,” Nicky whispered, tears in her eyes. She didn’t
dare touch him, even though he was shaking and crying in the dirt. She could
surely feel the hurt that radiated from him. “Jared, please let me explain.
Everything is happening so fast and I…”
 
She was interrupted by shouting. Both breeders sat up and listened carefully,
keeping themselves hidden within the clearing.
“Nicky!” the voice belonged to Master. “Nicky!”
The breeder gave a sad look to Jared and quickly stood up, rushing to take a
few steps forward and put her hand up. She shouted a reply. Jared stayed
kneeling; he heard and felt the sounds of a horse’s hooves beating hard on the
ground, getting rapidly closer. Master appeared half a minute later. On a horse
he looked regal, but his expression was stern and hard. Even Nicky seemed
anxious.
“My dear, what is it?” Nicky asked, her voice soft, careful.
“Get in the house, woman by God. Go to the attic at once. Take Jared with you,”
he commanded, his tone like Jared hadn’t heard before, especially when
addressing Nicky.
“Yes Master,” Nicky grumbled and looked back at Jared. “Can you run?”
“Hurry! The both of you, now!” Master’s voice boomed and the breeders snapped
into action. Master charged ahead on his horse. Nicky and Jared ran as fast as
they were able, Nicky leading but slowing down whenever Jared fell too far
behind. Jared still had the plug inside him and although it didn’t hurt when he
was walking, it caused him pain at this pace, not to mention all the other
wounds and bruises he still had. They took a path through the garden as not to
be seen. Their slippers hardly made any noise on the lawns.
They slipped into the main house through a small door that required both
breeders to crawl through and into a thin hallway. It led them to a set of
stairs Jared supposed were more breeder stairs. He saw that Nicky was taking
care to step quickly, keeping her footsteps light so as to not make any noise
at all. He tried to do the same but found that he simply couldn’t step as
elegantly or easily as she did. His heart was pounding against his chest and he
could not find a moment to catch his breath or relax his burning muscles.
Finally, they reached a doorway that opened without a sound. It opened to a
large, open space. There was no marble here, only a dark hardwood flooring, a
small bed, a few chairs, a desk, and a chest. A window on the left faced the
outside of the house, towards the drive. Nicky rushed towards it and waved
Jared over. He knelt beside her and they watched, neither of them knowing what
was going on.
Jared knew that if Master was worried for their safety, then something was
terribly wrong.
 
“There, I’ve never seen that carriage here before,” Nicky whispered, panting.
She was as out of breath as Jared was. “Flashy thing and those horses look
tired. They’ve come a long way.”
They stayed at barely eye level against the window, even though heavy drapes
cloaked it.
Nicky reached over and slipped her hand into Jared’s as they kept watch. Jared
still wasn’t sure what to make of it but it wasn’t like it hurt him.
The carriage was too far away to properly see the Master that walked out from
beside it. Nicky muttered something and crawled over to the chest. She returned
with a small pair of what looked to Jared like opera glasses. She squinted,
chewing on the bottom of her pink lip. “I don’t know him or the breeder with
him. Do you?” Without any hesitation she passed over the glasses, which Jared
was sure must have been expensive. He took them from her, thinking that he
would protest later.
As soon as the glasses focused, he gasped.
“That’s…” Jared gaped, his mouth hanging open, watching as Master walked up to
the pair and led them up the drive towards the main entrance.
“Who? Oh dear. They’re your previous household, aren’t they? Jared?”
He nodded.
That was indeed Master and Nathaniel.
 
As soon as everyone outside disappeared from view, Nicky crawled over to a
corner of the attic. Jared stayed put near the window until she waved him over.
She fiddled with a floor board, lifted it up, and pulled out a metal shell,
about the size of a bread roll, attached to a thick string.
“We can hear everything that is said in the sitting room if they’re sitting
where they should be,” she murmured, glancing up at Jared. “Lay down, Jared.”
He carefully laid himself flat on the floor as she was and they huddled over
the shell. Master was asking the guests if they would care for something to
drink. His voice was as calm and confident as Jared had ever heard it, but
Nicky looked nervous, so Jared knew there was something more. Jared himself was
fraught with anxiety and fear but he needed to remain focused. He had lost it
out in the clearing but he promised himself he would not lose it now, even if
they were hidden away in the attic.
“He better not serve them with the good china,” Nicky mumbled, flicking her
hair over her shoulder, a move Jared was beginning to recognize as a tic.
“I understand that you made a considerable journey here,” Master spoke, his
voice easy to hear through the shell. “However, sir, I don’t see how I can
possibly meet any of your requests at this given time, or ever, in fact.”
Jared tensed up. What requests? What business did his previous Master have with
his new Master? He couldn’t recall ever having met Master at his old household,
at parties or galas or as a dinner guest. He would remember. No matter how many
mistakes Jared knew he had made, he always remembered the guests. It was his
responsibility.
“Look, Elisha…”
“The last name’s Smith, I thank you.”
“Smith, then. I hardly see how such a commodity is of any worth to you. It
doesn’t produce anything viable—never has, most likely never will. The price
you purchased it for couldn’t have made a dent in your wallet, allow me to
compensate you three times what you paid.”
Nicky adjusted the shell, her slim fingers careful not to cause the line to
jiggle. It was a moment before Master replied, a moment that made Jared’s
breathing come a little shorter.
“I will overlook the fact that you presume to know the uses I have for my
property,” Master rumbled, his tone short. “I made a purchase based on my
knowledge of breeders and my eye for quality. Yes, when I received my purchase,
he was worse for wear, but I don’t blame the breeder for that. I blame the
Master.” Another pause. “Every purchase I make, sir, is an investment. In a few
years’ time, with the breeding methods my family has perfected over
generations, he will be worth twenty times what I paid for him at auction. So,
I must again decline your offer, sir.”
The breeders pressed against the shell, listening as closely as possible.
“That’s ridiculous!” old Master shouted. “He’s worthless to you!”
“Then why do you wish to buy him? If he is so unviable, as you say, then what
is the difference? Surely you could go to auction as I did and purchase a
replacement. For, isn’t that the very reason you sold him in the first place?
To find a replacement?”
Jared realized they were speaking about him. He shut his eyes and covered his
head with his arms. As much as he tried not to feel hurt about being referred
to as an it or as property, the sting was stubborn and never left. And though
the Doctor had quite possibly saved his life in that cellar, Jared could still
hear his drawl, his particular way of pronouncing the word, “it.”
“I needn’t tell you every detail,” old Master said with an audible sneer. “But
my first breeder was a classmate of his. They are very dear and very old
friends, practically family. I didn’t realize this until I had already sold
him. Now I mean to amend that and reunite them. Where is he? Why does your
household have no breeders present?”
Both breeders in the attic froze at their mention.
The younger breeder could have cried. Nathaniel had never referred to them as
friends. And while Jared had always been grateful to his previous first breeder
while he was in the household, he couldn’t go back to them. He couldn’t go back
and raise Nathaniel’s child after what happened in the cellar.
“Sir, it must haunt you that you made such a critical mistake,” Master
declared. “And your breeder continues to pay for your oversight. But I have no
obligation—personal or professional—to you, your household, or your breeder. It
is not your business to know what I do with my breeders or where I keep them.
Now, I have milking to tend to and I must insist we part ways.”
Movement could be heard and Jared hoped, prayed for this to be over.
“Please, sir. I… I beg you to reconsider.”
Nathaniel’s voice.
“Jared and I are like brothers. I… if you would only let me say goodbye to
him…”
Jared looked over at Nicky, whose eyes were narrowed. She huffed and leaned
into the shell.
“I have already answered your Master, breeder. I don’t recall addressing you or
asking you to do anything more than behave like the breeder you are. This way,
please.”
More movements and a few muffled sentences were exchanged but it was all out of
range for the shell, wherever the receiving end was in the sitting room. Nicky
crawled back over to the window, Jared followed immediately. Together, they
watched the pair of guests walk down the lane. Old Master helped Nathaniel into
the carriage and took his place at the driver’s seat. Within a minute, they
were gone, down the drive and turned a corner that led off the property and
onto the main road Jared had once walked.
They sat up and stared at each other for a long moment.
 
Just as Nicky was about to speak, a bell tucked away in the corner rang once.
It was their cue.
Without another word, they descended the breeder’s staircase and walked until
they reached the sitting room.
 
Master was pacing, smoking a pipe. He looked at the two breeders and then
looked away. Nicky linked their hands together and gave a small squeeze. Hers
was warm while Jared’s was cold and clammy.
It was several minutes before Master said anything. And what he did say
surprised Jared.
“Jared, excuse us, please. Go to your room. I’ll send for you when we are done
speaking.”
The command was clear but it took Jared a second to react. He bowed and didn’t
chance looking at Nicky before he left. He decided to take a chance and try to
find his room through the main staircase. Perhaps he could trace their
footsteps from the night before.
He wanted to know what they were talking about. It obviously had something to
do with him. What decision would they choose? Where would he be in a day’s
time? Jared wrung his hands together as he walked through a maze of hallways.
Several times he was disoriented and had to loop back. He thought twice that he
had found his room, only to be mistaken. In the last room, he did see something
that caught his attention.
It was a room much like his, decorated in the same simple, sparse manner.
On top of the desk in this room was a small picture frame.
Jared walked up to it.
The portrait was in black and white. A younger Nicky was in the frame, standing
next to Master on his left, while another breeder stood on Master’s right. A
child was in the middle of all of them, laughing and carefree, completely
disregarding the photographer. Dark red roses were in the background, on a
table much like the one in the entryway.
Where was this breeder now?
He had seen a good portion of the main house with Nicky and it was clear to him
that they were the only breeders and occupants, besides Master himself.
Could they have the breeder in the picture locked up somewhere? Serving time
for an unspeakable offense? Or was this the breeder in the clearing? Whose
child was that?
“Jared.”
With a flinch, he turned around, eyes wide. He tried to stammer out an apology
but his voice wouldn’t work.
“You’re fine,” Nicky said, with a small, watery smile. She joined him, standing
next to the desk. “If we didn’t want you in a particular room or place in our
household, we would have told you. Or locked the door. Can we talk for a
moment? I realize you must be… upset, but I was hoping to clear up a few
things. Let’s take a bath?”
He wanted to get on with the explanations but he couldn’t reject her
invitation. He followed her to the same tub as before, watched as she lit a few
candles and undressed. She really was beautiful, in a way that was effortless
and sincere. Even with the sad look in her eyes she was lovely. Jared thought
of her as a truly valued breeder. Master had made a wise decision in purchasing
her.
“Don’t leave me by myself,” Nicky called out to him from the tub. “Step in.”
 
Slipping his robes off, Jared joined her. She wrapped her arms around him,
pressing them close together. Her breasts pushed against his chest. Their
foreheads touched and she kissed his jawline, leaving light, watery nips. When
she began to stroke his hair, Jared purred. He couldn’t help himself. He was
holding everything in just to keep so much out. His world narrowed to her, wet
and slick in front of him.
“His name was Cody,” she murmured, their cheeks pressed together. “You’ve never
met anyone like him. He was so… full of light. Shone in a room like a brand new
pane of glass.” She sighed and Jared closed his eyes. “He had been Eli’s first
breeder for many years and all of their children were grown by the time I came
here. The… the little boy in the picture? That’s Charlie. Was Charlie.”
There’s a pause as she takes a deep breath and composes herself.
“I wasn’t supposed to keep him. I really wasn’t. But I wanted to. He was my
first of a large litter. Eli bundled him up and gave him to Cody before the…
those people came. I was fourteen and in so much pain, but it was so worth it.
I had two years with him, Jared. Two whole years. The three of us raised him.
He… he wasn’t even Eli’s but you should have seen the two of them together.”
For a moment she’s lost in her memories and Jared doesn’t have the heart to
interrupt her.
He knows a small portion of her feelings.
Another sigh and she continued. “Eli had him registered to Cody, then he had
him as the heir to this household. I couldn’t believe what… what a beautiful
life we were able to give him. That someone I gave birth to would be able to
have.” She pushed away gently from Jared and looked at him. “It was a carriage
accident on a rainy night. Eli had been so careful. The other driver wasn’t… he
didn’t… see them in time.” Her composure was lost. “Of course I grieved. My
heart broke. But Eli… he was never the same. I begged him to bury them here, so
I could visit often. He didn’t have to listen to me but he did, that fool.” She
gave a small, tired laugh.
Jared nudged her and moved closer to her.
“No, no,” she protested. “I’m not the one who needs comforting. It’s been two
years and it gets a little more bearable every day. Especially when I have such
great company. I just… Eli will purchase breeders like you, like me. Beaten to
our last straw, rejected and unwanted by whatever households we came from.” She
spat the last part out. “We will take those breeders in for a period of time,
usually a month, for the breeder to heal and rest. Eli then finds a household
like ours amongst his network and pairs the breeder with another Master, for
free.”
All of this information had made Jared dizzy. He had wanted answers but he
hadn’t anticipated any of this.
“How?” Was all he could ask.
Nicky smiled and pat his head. “Eli was able to find Cody’s chip. I think Cody
knew all along. But he was able to copy parts of it and attach it into those
breeders’ chips so that they would be deactivated. The new Master would then
provide a new chip but I don’t think we’ll be doing that for you.”
Fear gripped Jared’s heart. His stomach rolled.
“Why not?”
Nicky stepped out of the tub, though she had barely gotten a chance to be in
it. She wrapped herself in a large, soft towel.
“Because unlike the others, someone asked us to buy you specifically. We were
told to identify you by the moles on near your jaw. For now, you are legally
Eli’s breeder, but at the end of a waiting period, you’ll be turned over to
your actual Master.”
“Who? Turned over to whom?” Jared asked, a demanding tone to his voice. He was
desperate and shaking, trying to get out of the tub without slipping.
Who would go through all this trouble? And for what? This was a serious
investment on their part, to contact someone as risky as Eli, who was breaking
several laws already. Who had Jared met that would have that kind of attachment
towards him, more so than his old Master?
 
Jared briefly thought of the Doctor and the Judge, but those Masters had made
it clear that they had no desire to own a breeder. It wasn’t their way and they
had only rented their household in Meridian. Nothing was permanent. Everything
was so frustratingly temporary.
Themore Jared searched and longed for answers, the more questions he had.
He asked Nicky again, repeated his question, doubled the desperation in his
voice. Didn’t he deserve to know something about his future?
 
She wrapped a towel around him.
“That,” Nicky murmured, returning to drying her hair. “I cannot share, Jared.
I’m sorry.”
***** Bell *****
Chapter Summary
     Time passes at Jared's new household and he experiences things
     completely new to him.
Chapter Notes
     Usual warning, read the tags, etc.
     Short chapter before I'm off to work. More will be explained in the
     next chapter. I figured I'd leave y'all with something before I run
     off to dealing with customers.
     Comments, questions, feels, kudos are all appreciated, especially
     while I'm at work. You guys have no idea how much I look forward to
     your comments. Helps me get through the day and think of fic. Thank
     you for reading!
A month passed.
Nicky slept with him every night. Sometimes they would open the window to let
in fresh air, but as time moved forward, they began to bring out winter
supplies and robes. The seasons were changing and there was much to be done in
preparation for winter. Master was very busy and the breeders did their best to
take care of the household.
For all that Jared thought he knew about taking care of and running a
household, he learned something new every day while in Nicky’s company. They
tended to a large vegetable garden for two hours each day, weeding, watering,
and picking. Master was in charge of planting and seeding, so their tasks were
mostly about maintenance. The first time Jared knelt down to pick carrots for
supper and storage, he missed the weight of his belly. He had pressed his hand
to the flat plane of his stomach and closed his eyes for a moment.
He still didn’t completely understand everything. It was still a struggle not
to fall apart whenever he made a mistake.
They were never outside for more than two hours at a time, and never during the
hottest times of the day. Frequent breaks for rest were had, with pitchers of
tea and sweet lemonade at their disposal, but when they worked, they worked
hard and fast. Later on, after some time was spent inside—either cooking or
cleaning—they tended the gardens in much the same way. That was Jared’s
favorite part. Nicky noticed and gave him his own section to specially take
care of and mentioned that it had been Cody’s. Jared was grateful.
Chores were shared between them and traded off every day. Though sometimes
Jared would have to take a longer break, at the end of the day he wasn’t
exhausted. And Nicky dutifully took care of his remaining wounds, most of which
were scars at this point.
One day, when Master told them to finish their chores early, they had laid out
in the sun, on lounge chairs on the deck. Jared had asked what they were
supposed to do and Nicky had simply replied, “Get some sun, of course. C’mon.
Let’s see which of us tans better.” And that’s exactly what they did. For three
hours they sipped sparkling juice and passed a bowl of strawberries back and
forth, soaking up the last of the summer sun. When they went back inside,
Master commented that they might as well be lobsters.
Time passed faster than Jared thought it would.
At the end of that first month he was fully physically healed. He could run
alongside Nicky through the grounds and even outpaced her most times. With
three good, fresh meals a day, he put on some weight and no longer felt as
awkward standing next to Nicky. She trimmed his hair but kept it long, saying
that she needed something to play with when they bathed and slept.
Evenings were perhaps Jared’s most treasured part of the day, besides taking
care of the garden.
The three of them would occupy a small study off the west wing. Master would
smoke a pipe while reading a paper or a book, sometimes reading things out
loud. Nicky could read but preferred the soft, steady rumble of Master’s voice.
Jared found that he too preferred that. Master read beautifully. Sometimes he
would fall asleep at Master’s feet, curled up, warm and lulled to a light doze.
Nicky said he didn’t have to sit on the floor, that Jared could join them on
the lounge, but Jared found some of his habits were still difficult to break.
On a few occasions, Nicky joined him on the floor and they curled up together.
“Might as well be kittens, the two of you,” Master said, giving each of them a
pat on the head.
Tonight, Jared and Nicky slipped out of their bath and dried each other off,
giving playful gropes and pinches at each other’s curves. Touch was something
completely new for Jared, at least touch that wasn’t prodding or painful. He
still wasn’t used to the little touches Master gave him, but Nicky was
different. He spent all his time with her and though he still worried that she
might get sick of him, he tried to trust that whatever happened, he could
adapt.
Tumbling onto Jared’s bed, they continued to tickle and grope. Jared threw his
head back and laughed, loud and clear. Nicky nuzzled him and pushed him into
the bed, pressing them close so that not an inch of air was between them. Both
breeders looked at each other and smiled. He pressed a kiss to her lips, the
boldest he had been.
“Thank you,” Nicky whispered, one hand ever tangled in his hair. She purred and
showered small kisses all over his face—over the bridge of his nose, on his
eyelashes, on his jawline, and the dimples on the edges of his mouth.
She was about to turn them over so they could huddle underneath the covers for
warmth, when the bell beside Jared’s bed rang once.
Jared froze.
That had never happened before.
“Don’t worry,” Nicky cooed into his ear, her breath warm. “That’s for me. I’m
in heat.” She said the last part with a slight blush on her pretty face. “I
won’t be with you until morning, if that’s alright with you?”
He let go a breath he hadn’t been aware he was holding. He nodded. She looked
at him, searching his eyes, and sat up, straddling his hips. He realized that
she was hard, her cock full and leaking slightly against her stomach. His eyes
went wide and she smirked down at him. “Jay,” she whispered. “It’s all
different here, darling. We’re allowed to feel pleasure. Desire. I want him.
More than anything right now. Don’t worry.” She dipped down and kissed him
lightly, then got off the bed.
“I’ll see you in the morning but if you need anything, you know the way to his
suite.” She tied on a robe in a different way, one he’d never seen before. It
showed off every lush curve on her body. Boldly, she winked at him and walked
away. “Now, excuse me, I’m off to have some fun.”
Jared didn’t sleep well that night. His stomach churned with so many different
thoughts and memories. Tossing and turning, he spent half the night dazed and
completely out of it.
He wondered if he would ever be able to feel the way Nicky did about Master.
It troubled Jared that his mind flickered over to the Doctor.
The thought of those green eyes caused him to shudder underneath the layers of
quilts.
He also wondered when his next heat would be and what would happen. He pressed
a hand to his stomach and sighed, finally finding some sleep.
He could only worry about so much.
***** Guests *****
Chapter Summary
     Guests arrive at the household, bringing with them several questions
     and concerns.
Chapter Notes
     Please read the tags. Usual warnings apply. Nothing graphic in this
     chapter. Remember that this is dark!fic-AU.
     My computer died while I was writing this! The sound I made was
     inhuman.
     Ahhh! This dinner scene! Everyone's so upset! What will happen next?!
     Why did they choose to come now?! Ahhh! /jumps up and down/
     Comments, feels, kudos, questions etc. are all appreciated! You guys
     seriously make my day when I check my phone at work! Love, love, love
     your comments! Comments motivate me to keep writing, so keep them
     coming! We're at a chapter a day and rapidly approaching 40k...
     yikes! Thank you for reading, you guys are awesome!
It happened on what seemed to be an ordinary day.
While both breeders were in the kitchen, canning and preserving a haul of
vegetables, Master walked in. He had been making repairs on the carriage and
was leaning his hands off with a rag. Jared and Nicky glanced over at him but
ultimately kept at their work. Jared had never canned anything before, he was
eager to learn and Nicky was a patient teacher. They ate strawberries as they
worked and chatted about the new types of flowers that might look best in the
garden for the year to come.
After a minute, Master announced a piece of news.
“We’ll be having visitors tonight,” he said calmly as he leaned against a
counter. Both breeders noticed the way his attention was on Nicky’s form. She
looked at Jared and rolled her eyes, then went back to work.
“Behave yourself, Eli,” Nicky warned him.
“Ain’t doing a damn thing wrong, woman,” Master grumbled, placing his arms over
his chest.
It had been a week since Nicky had started her heat and every night she slept
with Master. Jared didn’t mind this. As much as he was grateful to Master for
being so kind and generous, Jared had no desire to service anyone. He had
physically recovered but he still woke up during the night, screaming into the
quilts. He was sure that Master would treat him well in bed, and be sure to
take care of Jared, but Jared would not volunteer any action on his part. The
way Master looked at Nicky told Jared that Master was, for now, more than
satisfied.
“Any specific menu, Master?” Jared asked as he stirred a pot of peaches.
“Hadn’t given it much thought, really.”
“Oh, imagine that,” Nicky quipped with a smile.
Master sighed and shook his head. “Anyway, Jared, can you recommend something?”
A month ago, Jared would’ve had a meltdown at such a direct request for his own
opinion. While it still made him a bit anxious to be asked any sort of direct
question, especially one from Master, he was able to think about the question
at hand and reply. He suggested a simple meal with a light starter, a hearty
main course, and chocolate mousse with fruit for dessert. Master agreed and
left, but not without giving Jared a pat on the head and Nicky a pat on her
ass.
“I have a good mind to preserve that hand!” she shouted out after him,
laughing.
“You’d miss the hand,” he shouted back from the hallway he had disappeared
into.
“That’s what he thinks,” she muttered to Jared. “Well! We can finish up hear
and start supper, I suppose.” The older breeder leaned forward towards the
window and peered out, frowning. “Looks like rain. Do you think we should cover
up the furniture on the deck?”
Jared looked out and saw the same dark, heavy clouds that she had. He liked the
sound of rain in this house. On rainy days, after chores, they would curl up in
one of the smaller rooms and mend Master’s shirts or work on a quilt together.
Master always set them up with a fire going and hours passed that way, with a
comfortable silence between them and the sound of rain around them.
“It’d be best. I can do that.” Before she would or could protest, he made his
way out to the deck. He took in a deep breath and a small smile came out of
nowhere.
 
There were some days when he didn’t feel quite so much. Or, at least, he didn’t
feel so much weighing down on him. The things that haunted him rested and gave
him a few moments of peace. He touched his stomach and sighed. All he could do
was try, every day.
Quickly, the furniture was covered with large tarps and he headed back inside
to help Nicky.
They had supper warming in the oven just in time for them to run upstairs and
take a quick bath. She pulled him close in the water and kissed him, long and
sweet. Jared gasped. They each smelled like the peaches they had been canning.
“Don’t pull away,” she whispered, eyes closed. Though she said it like a
statement, he knew there was nothing commanding in her voice. He relaxed in her
arms.
The kisses they shared didn’t have heat to them; rather they had a closeness
and familiarity Jared hadn’t felt before. He opened his mouth to her and she
licked in, hungry and hopeful to be closer. Her hands were in his hair, his
hands were on her back. The water lapped at them as they moved slowly, pushing
and pressing against each other, seeking more and more warmth. Jared heard
himself purring.
There had to be words for this. For whatever was happening between them. But
Jared couldn’t find any.
And he didn’t really need any, because he saw them all in her eyes as they
looked at each other when they broke for air. She smiled and laughed, then
pulled him underwater.
Bath time was another of his favorite times in the day.
 
Guests in the household made things run differently than usual, but Jared was
more or less used to it, having had experience at his previous household. They
dressed up, which was different, but pleasant. Tonight their robes were a
midnight blue with a tiny line of pearls that wrapped around their waists.
Nicky tied his robes, stood back, and appraised him.
“Very good. More than good. Stunning, actually,” she declared and handing him a
pair of more formal slippers. “Should I do your hair? Will you do mine?”
“You don’t have to ask every time,” Jared replied with a smile.
“Then you’ll do my hair for me every morning?”
“I didn’t say that.”
Master didn’t often have guests over. Mostly because he was a private man and
preferred to keep to himself and his household. When he wanted to socialize, he
usually went to town or to the household of another Master instead. But he also
didn’t want any Master to potentially question the way he treated his breeders
or where his farm was. Nicky had explained to Jared that Master’s family was
very old and established, with much of their wealth coming from where the
family used to reside, which was further south. Ten years ago, Master had
broken off from the main family and moved here, near Meridian, to settle down
in a household of his own.
And though the privacy was a great benefit, Nicky confessed that she did get
lonely in between times when they took breeders in or had guests. Jared hadn’t
ever felt that way at his previous household. Guests and company came in at all
hours of the day and old Master had loved to entertain.
Jared was grateful for the break from rooms full of strangers.
 
Dressed and ready, both breeders made their way downstairs through their
staircase. Jared set the table while Nicky checked on supper. Master had
already selected two bottles of wine, so Jared only had to place them in a
silver bucket of ice. The table was set for three. Their pillows were ever
ready in the corner. When Jared went into the kitchen to help, he found Nicky
humming happily.
“It’s good to have guests over now and then,” she said with a happy sigh. “He
hasn’t even told me who is coming but they must be good friends. Eli’s not much
of a talker, you know that. In any case, I think we’ll have a good evening,
don’t you?”
“I hope so,” Jared replied. “Will Master need us all evening?”
She thought about that for a moment. “No, most likely not. They’ll probably
retire into one of the libraries or studies or wherever and do their own
talking. We can set them up with a nightcap and disappear.”
Jared nodded. He heard the bell at the door ring out, signaling that the guests
had arrived. Nicky squealed and moved about the kitchen in a flurry. They heard
Master’s booming voice greet his guests and usher them in. Within a few
minutes, the group was in the dining room. Jared tried to remain calm. He could
do this. He could get through tonight and be as elegant and lovely a breeder as
possible.
The two breeders made eye contact before Master called them into the dining
room. They shared smiles and walked out to greet their guests.
The moment Jared saw who the guests were, he was incredibly grateful he hadn’t
been carrying anything. He stumbled though, and he knew his mouth was gaping
open yet again.
There at the dining room table, were the Doctor and the Judge.
 
Nicky nudged him.
Jared quickly shut his mouth and put his head down.
“This is my lovely second breeder, Nicky,” Master introduced. “And I believe
you both know Jared. They will be happy to assist you in anyway while you are
in our household.”
“Yes Masters,” Nicky said smoothly. “If you are in need of anything, please do
not hesitate to ask.”
“W-we will be… happy to… to help,” Jared stammered out. He couldn’t make eye
contact with anyone. He was struggling to keep himself together. Of all people!
Of all Masters to sit at this table!
He could feel the weight of his pup on his chest again. He saw his own blood on
the Doctor’s hands. His stomach churned; he could feel his midday meal rising
up. Wouldn’t that be a scene? At least there was no beef wellington to drop on
the Doctor this time.
“Well, we will start serving,” Nicky blurted out and grabbed Jared by the arm,
pulling them into the kitchen. She placed her hands on Jared’s shoulders. “Jay,
what’s wrong? You look sick.”
“I may be,” Jared whispered, trembling in his fancy dress.
“Sit down then, calm yourself. Let me get you a glass of something.”
“No, no, I’ll be fine. I’m able to manage it.” He picked up plates and set them
down on the countertop so they could plate the mushrooms that were part of the
first entrée. Nicky was watching him carefully but stayed silent. When the
plating was done, she insisted that Jared stay in the kitchen. He didn’t bother
arguing and eventually took her offer and sat on the floor.
He wanted to know why the Doctor had been so cold to him during his stay at
their household. He wanted to know what had changed between that time and when
Jared had given birth. Had the Doctor merely felt bad for him? The Doctor
confused Jared to a dizzying degree. He couldn’t help but think of the Doctor
and immediately feel the weight of his pup. The pups that had survived were now
a little over a month old. What was the color of their eyes?
“It’s very tense in there,” Nicky reported, sitting down next to Jared when she
returned. “Eli’s avoiding a subject but I can’t tell what. When they get close
to it, he switches conversation.” She sighed and placed an arm over Jared’s
shoulders. “Is he the Doctor that delivered your litter?”
Jared simply nodded.
“And… is he who you wish would buy you?”
That question was not so simple.
“I… I don’t know,” he answered honestly. “I can’t… speak of this, I’m sorry.”
The other breeder gave a nod and pressed a kiss to his cheek. “Nor do you have
to, Jay. It’s alright. I can take over serving for the rest of the evening. Why
don’t you go upstairs and wait for me?”
“No,” he said, as firmly as his voice would allow. “I can’t do that to you.”
“It’s not a problem. Three is hardly a full house.”
“No,” was his final answer. He led them out to the dining room and they took
their places on their pillows.
 
The Doctor watched him often, green eyes flickering from the table to Jared.
Jared had no idea what the expressions on the Doctor’s face meant. But he did
know that the Doctor was not smiling.
The Judge, as always, was lighter and kept up good conversation. He and Jared
made eye contact once and the Judge gave him a small nod and smile, which made
Jared feel a fraction better. When the Masters finished their first courses,
Nicky and Jared moved swiftly to take their plates and replace them. Nicky was
sure to take the Doctor’s plate and for that, Jared was grateful. They moved in
and out of the kitchen with precision, serving flawlessly.
Master and the Judge praised the food. The Doctor remained silent in his seat.
At the end of the meal, the Doctor finally found words.
“Why don’t you let them sit with us?” he asked Master, his voice rough but with
the same drawl as before. “I thought… I thought you were different.”
Jared couldn’t help but bristle at the questioning of his Master’s rules. Nicky
placed her hand over his without looking at him, helping to calm him. Master
leaned back into his chair.
“Nicky, care to answer that?” Master asked.
“Yes, Eli. We don’t sit at the table when guests are over, sir. It is easier
for us to serve you from here.”
“So, what? Do you throw them food from your plate, too?” the Doctor prodded,
narrowing his eyes at Master. “Or do they have a bowl of food somewhere?”
“Doctor,” the Judge muttered.
“No, no,” Master intercepted. “The Doctor isn’t accustomed to our way of life.
I welcome questions such as these.” Master leaned forward in his chair to speak
directly to the Doctor. “What you saw before, at that wretch’s house, is not
what transpires here, nor has it ever been. My breeders are well taken care of
and it would do you well to notice. Neither is sick or injured or half
frightened to death. Though you do make Jared nervous and for that, I will have
my own questions later. And yes, I am different. But not so different that I
will completely change everything. These are breeders, Doctor. This is what
they know how to do. This is what they are meant to do. If I were to take all
of it completely away from them, it would do more harm than good. I can change
certain things here and there but I cannot deny that they are who they are.”
There was a moment of very tense silence.
The Doctor broke it.
“Let me buy him.”
Master sighed and looked at the Judge, who seemed alarmed by the conversation.
Master cleared his throat. “That’s generous, Doctor, but I’m aware that you
cannot purchase any breeder for another five months. And I already have an
offer for Jared, which has been told to him. He is aware of what goes on here.”
“Damn the law!” the Doctor shouted, slamming a fist down on the table. Both
breeders flinched. “We could make a cash transaction and you know it!”
 
Another moment where no one said anything. Jared noticed that he was still
trembling. Nicky squeezed his hand.
Standing up, Master paced the dining room as he spoke. “There are some things
that I can overlook, Doctor, because I know you are not from these parts and
these are not your customs. But now you are asking me to break the law and I
cannot tolerate that. Especially coming from you. What if I relented and
allowed you to purchase Jared? Do you know anything about taking care of a
breeder? Do you know anything about what they need, what they want, what they
believe? What would you do with Jared if you would not have him serve you? Sit
there? For you to humiliate him by taking away his entire sense of purpose? You
have caused enough damage without even realizing it, Doctor, and that is not
only careless, it is irresponsible. You know what makes a truly good Master?
Not just the care of the breeder but the responsibility that Master takes for
his breeder’s well-being. You sir, have no idea about the true well-being of a
breeder. Were it that I did not have that offer, I still would not sell you
this breeder nor any other breeder. It would be irresponsible of me to do so.”
The Doctor was stunned. His eyes were wide and his face was flushed.
“Jensen,” the Judge said carefully. “He’s right. We all know you mean
well—truly, I do—but we are very out of our element here. A breeder needs
particular care and we just… haven’t understood that yet.”
“No, Misha! What do you mean particular care? What could possibly be different?
They’re human, god dammit!”
“If you would listen to what your companions are saying, then maybe you would
have some chance at understanding,” a voice rang out.
Nicky stood up from her pillow and stood at Master’s side. Jared watched with
surprise. “You cannot take us and change who we are, no matter how good your
intentions are. Do you know that alcohol poisons us? Do you know that we have
heats based on our individual cycles? Do you even know what to do for a breeder
when they are in heat? And would you be willing to do it? And if you were,
would you be prepared to face the consequences? Could you have a breeder carry
your pups and could you, when the time came, give them up? No.” Nicky spoke
with a firm voice, never wavering. “No you could not do any of those things
because you simply don’t know. And I can see that you are unwilling to take him
as a breeder. I can tell that our customs cause you great discomfort. But we
won’t have you take him and subject him to your customs because that has not
been his reality. You are being selfish and entirely thoughtless, like a child
begging for a toy. We aren’t toys, Doctor. You aren’t much different from the
other Masters I’ve met who think they know what’s best for us. And that doesn’t
surprise me and I hope it doesn’t surprise Jared.”
Nicky finished speaking and turned to Master. He nodded and she knelt back
down, rejoining Jared with a tight hug.
 
The Masters at the table were quiet for a long while.
They did not stay for dessert.
In fact, they left minutes after.
 
As Jared helped clear the table he gave some small thanks that at least this
time, when the two foreign Masters left, he was not in a cellar. 
***** Courting *****
Chapter Summary
     Another visit and Jared still doesn't understand most things.
Chapter Notes
     Please read the tags carefully before reading. This is dark!fic-AU.
     Usual warnings apply, though there aren't too many specific warnings
     for this chapter.
     The beginnings of J2! Filled with angst and all sorts of feels. Keep
     in mind that this is Jared's POV. Jared and the Doctor are spending
     more time together, but it's still very awkward. I hope their
     interactions read well. More to come.
     Questions, comments, kudos, feels, etc. are all hugely appreciated. I
     work again tomorrow--it makes my day to see your comments while I'm
     at work. Thank you very much for reading!
     ***We are almost at 40k here! Should I do something special for 50k?
     What would you like to see? No promises, but I can definitely try if
     y'all suggest some things you would like to see! ***
When the Doctor returned the next day, Jared was surprised.
The first chill of autumn had arrived and the Doctor wore a soft, dark green
coat that brought out the color of his eyes. With a slight blush, Jared took
the coat from him, handling it with care as he tucked it into the coat closet.
Besides his unexpected visit, he was also alone. At once he asked for Master,
barely acknowledging Jared’s presence other than to hand him his coat. As Nicky
went to fetch Master, who was working in the stables, Jared anxiously led the
Doctor to the nearest sitting room off the entryway.
For someone who had helped Jared deliver a litter of pups—and who had himself
become upset when they were collected—the Doctor very rarely looked directly at
Jared for an extended period of time. He looked in quick, measured glances,
just like at dinner, as if the sight of Jared hurt him.
He put every ounce of his training into becoming as invisible and unnoticed by
the Doctor as possible, which was much easier this time without a belly full of
pups.
Kneeling down on a pillow in the farthest corner of the room, Jared fidgeted
and smoothed out his robes, feeling incredibly foolish. When the Doctor’s
carriage had been spotted coming up the drive—as they had been cleaning out one
of the guest rooms—Jared had rushed to his room and changed robes. He only had
four and he didn’t want to be caught wearing the ones from the night before or
his every day one, so he chose one in a deep violet color. He tied it more like
Nicky’s, trying to accentuate certain features, not entirely sure he had
succeeded but he made do. With a quick brush at his hair, he had run down the
main staircase and met Nicky at the door. She had given him no audible comment,
just a quick lift of her eyebrows.
Now though, the Doctor wasn’t even looking at him, and Jared wished he hadn’t
been so hasty. Maybe the Doctor wasn’t even here to visit because of him.
 
Jared couldn’t entirely explain his feelings towards the Doctor. He knew that
logically, he had more affection towards the Judge, who had been more
understanding and accommodating in the time Jared had spent at their household.
It had been the Judge who eased him into their company and helped Jared up and
around when he could not move. The Doctor, however, had always been
consistently cold and distant with the breeder, except for their period in the
cellar. He had been attentive and concerned, though Jared now understood it as
cool professionalism. The Doctor had been doing his job and Jared couldn’t keep
his breeder’s emotions in check.
Still, their present situation was very awkward. The Doctor did not sit; he
stood at a window, looking out, his broad shoulders tense and his jaw set.
Jared tried not to breathe too loudly, should it disturb the Master. He wished
Nicky would hurry. For someone so keen on buying him, the Doctor showed such
little interest in him. Why go through the trouble of tracking Jared from the
kennels to his new household? Breeders were all trained in much the same
manner, with a few variations according to their educations, so Jared had no
idea why anyone would take trouble to single him out. Especially since a visit
to his new household meant an eighty mile journey from town.
There was something that the Doctor wanted him for but had not yet revealed and
it was something worth more than a very long carriage ride in cold weather.
Jared repressed a shudder. He felt his eyes well up and scolded himself. This
Master, with his lovely eyes and drawl, couldn’t possibly care anything about
him and it would do Jared well to keep his emotions out of this.
He didn’t understand all of his feelings, but he knew they wouldn’t do any
good.
 
At last, Nicky arrived and announced Master’s presence. The two Masters shook
hands and quickly left the sitting room to go to one of Master’s studies.
Master asked Nicky to bring in a tray of things.
Together, the two breeders went to the kitchen to fix the tray. Nicky poured
coffee, juice, and a crystal pitcher of water while Jared cut some meats and
cheeses. They worked in silence until Nicky spoke.
“Jay, I must be honest with you. Something—multiple things, if I’m really
honest—strike me as not quite right about this Doctor. Less so about his
companion but there’s… just… many little things that I notice. I’m not sure Eli
does, but I certainly do.”
As always, they worked while they talked.
“I… like what?” Jared managed to stammer out, plating what he had cut already.
The older breeder frowned for a moment and sighed. “Do you notice that he holds
his silverware differently than other Masters? The Judge does it as well,
though I think he’s better at mimicking Eli than the Doctor is. And I know
that’s a very tiny detail but it bothers me. Then there is the glaring fact
that wherever he comes from, which he’s never specifically said to Eli or
anyone from what I hear, they don’t have breeders. Have you ever heard of a
place without breeders? How were they born? How did they get here? And why stay
here if we bother him so much? I can’t understand any of that.”
Jared began slicing more cheese to balance out the meat while Nicky plated
crackers. He looked at her.
“That’s… I’ve heard of stories of Masters in the North who don’t have
breeders.”
“Those are stories we tell to children so they behave,” Nicky grumbled with a
pout. “I’ve never met a Master who didn’t know a breeder or what we are.”
Done with the tray, they paused in the kitchen for a moment before heading out.
“I understand, Nicky, I do.”
She hugged him, pressing them close as always, and kissed his cheek.
She looked up at him with concern. “I know you do. Well, I hope you do. I just
don’t want to see you get hurt.”
Jared gave her his best fake smile. “I won’t be.”
Imagine that, he thought as he followed her to deliver the tray, a breeder
saying they wouldn’t get hurt. Jared might as well eat his own words.
 
It was a full hour before the Doctor and the Master appeared in the library the
breeders were occupying. They had curled up together in front of the fireplace,
a blanket around both of them, Nicky reading aloud from a story book.
Simultaneously, they looked up at the Masters with questioning eyes.
“The Doctor will be staying the night. He’ll require a room and a change of
clothes. I trust you to take care of the other details. Jared, come with me.”
Master turned to the Doctor. “Nicky will show you to your room, I trust she’ll
take good care of whatever you need.”
The Doctor nodded. Jared quickly followed Master through a hallway and into a
room near his suite. He used this room to look at the stars through a
telescope—that’s what he called it—and chart their movements. Jared found it
fascinating; Master had let him watch one night and explained a few things here
and there. If there was something Jared wanted to know more of, it was anything
to do with the skies above them.
Master shut the door and sat down on a chair near the window. Jared knelt at
his feet and looked up, obedient and ready to serve. When Master put a hand on
his head, Jared purred and leaned into the touch.
“Jared, the Doctor has requested to spend the evening with you.”
“Yes Master,” Jared replied immediately, though he tensed up. What did an
evening mean? What would they be doing? The sound of his bell ringing made him
more anxious than he wanted to think about. How could he service the Doctor if
he didn’t want to look at Jared?
Master frowned. “He makes you nervous, doesn’t he?”
Jared kept his head down and curled up. “Yes sir.”
“Why?”
It took a moment for Jared to quietly answer, “I don’t… I don’t understand… why
he wants me.”
It was best to be honest with Master, though Jared didn’t tell him many of the
smaller details. Master knew a lot about Jared; he knew that the Doctor had
delivered his pups and he knew that Jared had spent a few days at the Doctor’s
household.
“I think this Doctor is a conflicted sort,” Master said, his voice deep. “Can
you be patient with him?”
“Of course Master.”
This time it was Master who took a moment before saying, “He’s only requested
your company this evening, not your service. It is my intention that no one
will have your service until you leave here. Is that understood?”
Jared replied that he understood. Master cupped his chin gently.
“I assented to his request tonight, Jared, out of courtesy from one Master to
another. But if you are in anyway bothered or hurt by this, you’ll tell me or
Nicky. And that will be the end of it. I will provide you with a bell to ring
if you need assistance tonight. I pray that you don’t and that I haven’t
misjudged this Doctor.” Master let go and stood up. “Well, let’s not keep him
waiting any longer. You leave Nicky to attend to dinner and take the Doctor for
a walk in the gardens. I’ll return to the stables while there’s a bit of
daylight left.”
With that, Master gave Jared a final pat, and left, his boots sounding firmly
through the hallways.
Jared walked to the kitchen, his slippers making no sound.
 
There was no such thing as courting for breeders of Jared’s class or situation.
A breeder put to auction could never hope to be courted. It just didn’t happen.
Some breeders of wealth and connection had several Masters vie for their
affections, hoping to present a generous offer to the breeder’s family. Jared
hadn’t come from such a family. In fact, his family, as far as he could
remember, had often struggled with finances and income. Though they weren’t
completely destitute, they had definitely been hoping for Jared’s exceptional
marks at the academy to secure a Master with some means. Generous Masters would
sometimes help a breeder’s family, if they had one. The day Jared lost his
first litter was the day everyone found out what had happened, and was the day
his family rejected him. It had all happened so fast.
For the Doctor to be doing something similar to courting was strange and
unsettling to Jared. He couldn’t imagine hours of silence peppered with moments
of volatile anger and frustration with the Doctor. Some small part of him was
excited at this new prospect—this new opportunity he had never experienced—but
mostly, his stomach was in knots as they walked out to the lawns.
Nicky had slipped a bell into his pocket before they had left. He glanced back
at her, staying three respectful steps behind the Doctor, and tried to give her
his best reassuring smile.
She promised him she would make his favorite meal for supper.
The Doctor wore his coat outside and his cheeks turned pink from the slight
chill. Jared had no coat yet but he was working on making a sweater with scraps
of fabric leftover from quilting. The cold didn’t bother him, he had known much
worse for much longer periods of time. In silence they walked, until the Doctor
stopped. Jared nearly bumped into him.
With a shrug, the Doctor took off his coat and shoved it at Jared.
He grumbled, “Wear it. You look cold.”
Stunned and a bit flustered, Jared nodded and did as he was told. He murmured a
quick, “Thank you, sir.”
The coat was even softer than it looked and hung around Jared, about two sizes
too big. He wrapped it around himself and buttoned it up. It smelled like
leather and earth and something spicy he couldn’t place. There were small mints
in the pockets that Jared tried not to touch too much, afraid he would somehow
damage them.
They continued walking, in the same silence, and reached the fountain, which
had been shut off for a week as the weather cooled. The Doctor sat on the edge
and Jared took a place at his feet. He didn’t look up  at the Master, but kept
his gaze turned towards him.
“Can you answer something?” the Doctor asked, his voice rough as he reached
into one of his trouser pockets.
“Yes sir.”
A charm on a leather strap was pulled out. It was meant to be worn like a
necklace, but there was something very rugged and worn about it. It looked well
worn. The charm was in the shape of a star.
“Does this mean anything to you?”
Jared focused on the star and tried to think about it. He wanted to say that he
loved stars. He loved the night sky. That maybe someday, Master would let him
look through the telescope. Or even still, maybe someday Jared could name
things and jot down important information about the lights that hung so high
above him. But it was not his place to say such things. More than that, he had
never seen such a charm in his life.
“No sir,” he replied honestly. For a moment he was afraid he would be struck,
but the Doctor just sat there, a crushed expression on his handsome face. He
cradled the charm, gripped it tight with one hand, and promptly put it back in
his pocket. He stood up and walked ahead of Jared, outpacing him quickly. Jared
stumbled to catch up. In his haste, he tripped, falling in a patch of mud with
a yelp.
Cursing his clumsiness, he panicked about the stains on the Doctor’s coat. He
could wash them out.
The Doctor looked back at him.
Jared chewed his bottom lip and trembled, stammering out a litany of apologies
from his place on the ground.
It didn’t surprise Jared too much when the Doctor turned around and walked
ahead.
 
For the next hour, Jared followed the Doctor on a walk through the grounds.
They didn’t go to the clearing, for which Jared was grateful. He kept a larger
distance of five steps behind the Doctor and sometimes more when the Master
picked up his pace unexpectedly. After this hour, Jared was tired and cold.
Returning inside he was shivering, even in the Doctor’s coat. He had a smudge
of dirt on his face that he had tried to wipe away but stubbornly remained. He
excused himself and quickly ran to his room before Nicky could see him.
Jared cleaned the coat first, then himself. His hands were red by the time he
was done scrubbing. Before he went down to supper, he hung the coat up to dry,
hoping that it wouldn’t shrink or warp itself.
The smells in the kitchen were heavenly. Nicky had done a lavish spread for
supper. They plated in silence, knowing that they had to wait until after
supper to talk.
The table was set for four and Master and the Doctor were already seated. Jared
took a deep breath as he set down the Doctor’s plate, then his own. He took his
seat and kept his head down. Both breeders waited for the two Masters to dig in
first. Jared glanced over at the Doctor. He did hold his utensils in a strange
way. Not overtly so, but enough that Jared noticed it. After that, he kept his
sight fixed on his own food.
Master and the Doctor talked about various people in town, with Master giving
the Doctor some information on who could be depended on for good credit or
supplies. They spoke about the Judge, who had been invited to a social
gathering two towns over and would be gone for several days.
Jared took a sip of juice and noticed that the Doctor was looking at him.
Immediately, the Doctor looked away, caught in the act. The breeder had no idea
what to make of this. How much more invisible could he make himself?
After supper, Master and Nicky retired to their suite. Nicky gave Jared a hug
and whispered that she would slip into his room later on. Master pet Jared’s
head and then said good night to the Doctor. They shook hands and thank yous
were exchanged.
The Doctor and Jared occupied a room next to the Doctor’s guest room. It had
its own small library and fireplace, as well as a desk to write at. A large
lounge chair was near the fireplace and a bay window overlooked the front
lawns. The chilly night made the stars brighter. Jared got a fire going and
settled on the floor near it. The Doctor took a seat on the lounge for a
minute, but then got up and paced around the room.
Obediently, Jared stayed where he was, waiting to be told what to do.
This courting business was very strange to him. One moment the Doctor looked at
him as if he was familiar and the next moment he was given a look that
questioned Jared’s existence. He couldn’t keep up anymore and stopped trying.
Finally, the Doctor said, “Do you know why I asked for your company?”
Politely, Jared replied that no, he did not.
“You remind me of someone,” the Doctor said flatly. “But you aren’t that
person.”
Jared kept his head down and instinctively curled in on himself, trying to make
himself smaller. He didn’t know whether to apologize or stay quiet. What was he
supposed to do? He decided to stay quiet, worried that any noise from him would
further upset the Master in front of him.
The Doctor sat down at the window and cradled his head in his hands.
A sob escaped him and another threatened, but he forced it down.
Jared drew in a sharp breath. He had managed to upset this Master anyway, his
very existence a painful reminder of whomever the Doctor spoke of.
“I didn’t want it to be you,” the Doctor growled out, his voice deeper and
sharper than Jared had heard it in a long time. “Not here. Anywhere but here.”
“Master, I’m sorry,” Jared blurted out. “I’m sorry.”
An expression of anguish clouded the Doctor’s face. It looked a lot like
heartache, but Jared could never assume the emotions of a Master.
It caught him off guard when the Master rushed forward and pushed Jared to the
ground, laying him flat on his back. The Doctor knelt down and hovered over
him, his larger body covering Jared’s. Before Jared could react any more, the
wind was knocked out of him when a wet, firm kiss was given.
A rough patch of stubble scraped against Jared’s smooth skin.
His mouth was forced open and the Doctor’s tongue expertly swept in, searching
and tasting as deep as he could. Jared stayed rigidly still, holding in his
breath until he couldn’t any longer. As he exhaled, he made a noise he couldn’t
immediately identify. It sounded a lot like a moan and a purr.
For all the shock and hurt and confusion—and the myriad of other emotions
welling up in his chest—Jared felt a spark of something new. Something electric
and magnetic at the same time. Something that told him he didn’t know what
hunger was until now.
“Dammit,” the Doctor whispered, the fire flickering in his eyes.
He looked down at Jared for what seemed like an age. Jared looked up at him,
not daring to move. The Doctor didn’t look any happier, just more conflicted.
Whatever war he was fighting inside himself, he would not be sharing it with
the breeder underneath him. Jared wondered who the person was.
After a minute, the Doctor turned away and sat on the floor, bringing his knees
up to his chest. He hid his face from Jared and the heavy silence returned.
Jared cautiously sat up.
He had never been more confused about a Master before. Masters gave direction,
orders, and commands. They told him exactly what they wanted and expected and
there was no hesitation. There was rarely any feeling involved with orders and
following them. Jared did what he was told and that was that. He took pride in
being obedient and responding quickly, not needing much clarification.
But this Master threw all of that out the window.
Still, he waited for a command.
 
In silence, they sat, never once making eye contact, for another hour.
The Doctor got up and muttered a good night before leaving the room. Jared
waited until he heard the door to the Doctor’s suite open and shut before he
got up and tidied the room. He left things in their place before heading
towards his own room and slipped under the quilts.
It upset him that he pressed his hand to his belly.
That night he got very little rest.
***** Fitted *****
Chapter Summary
     Another day with a guest in the household, with more questions and
     time spent together.
Chapter Notes
     Please read the tags, remember that this is dark!fic-AU. Usual
     warnings apply.
     I had a really bad day at work, with customers yelling and being
     awful, so I kinda took it out on Jared. Sorry bby.
     Extra long update because I might not get to another chapter until
     Wednesday. At least there's a little more J2 in this chapter for
     those of you waiting for that. :D
     I'm almost at 50k with this (yikes!) and I kind of want to do
     something special. Is there anything y'all can suggest/want to see?
     No promises but I can try my best to do something.
     Comments, questions, kudos, feels, etc. are all incredibly welcomed
     and appreciated. Seriously, you guys keep me going. Thank you for
     reading.
At dawn, Jared woke up and could not get back to sleep, despite his numerous
attempts.
He’d dreamt of having pups again, as he knew he someday would—as he hoped he
someday would—and while that wasn’t an uncommon dream for him, this one was
drastically different. These pups had had freckles and light, tawny brown hair,
nearly blonde in the sunlight. They were all happy and a rambunctious bunch as
a tall figure chased after them on a lawn, with everyone falling over in a
burst of giggles.
 
Jared woke up with a start, his face bright red and his mouth dry. He carried
with him a heavy feeling in his heart. Whimpering softly, he curled up in his
bed and pressed a pillow to his stomach, clinging to it tightly. After a few
minutes of this he forced himself out of bed; nothing would be achieved by
lying around.
After a quick wash in the smaller tub, he dressed in his dark red robes and
quietly made his way downstairs through the breeder staircase. Restless with
nervous energy, he fell back into the routine he had established at his
previous household. He began in the garden, which didn’t take long, as the
weather had gotten colder and all that was left to do was prune and trim. There
would be no more fresh flowers every day, which saddened Jared, but he
understood that even flowers had to take rests. With great care, he tended to
Cody’s section and made sure all would keep well during the eventual frost.
 
In an hour, he finished half his daily chores and started baking a pan of sweet
bread for the first meal of the day. As he was rolling them into buns, he heard
someone in the hallway leading to the kitchen. Expecting Master, ever an early
riser, Jared said a cheerful good morning as he opened the door to the oven.
“Mornin’,” came a reply from the doorway, thick with a sleepy drawl. “You
always up this early?”
The breeder flinched and froze, shutting the door quickly. He didn’t know
whether to get on his knees or not, so he compromised on keeping his head down.
“No sir, not usually,” Jared replied softly.
The Doctor grunted and staggered into the kitchen, taking a seat at the island
in the center where Jared had been rolling the dough. His hair was quite a
sight, sticking up in all directions. Jared had the urge to reach out and
smooth it down but kept his actions in check. The stubble on the Doctor’s face
was thicker and had a reddish tint. His eyes were still half closed as he
scrubbed his face.
“Fucking early as hell,” he muttered and yawned. “Is there coffee?” The Doctor
was dressed in a gray robe over his nightclothes. Jared turned back to his
work.
“Yes sir. Would you like cream?”
“Black is fine, thanks.”
A cup and saucer were prepared quickly and set before the Master. Jared stood
ready at attention. The Doctor looked up from his cup and frowned. “You gonna
stand there?”
“N-no sir.” With a fumble of pans and pots, Jared went back to preparing the
rest of the meal. He had sausages and eggs, plus fruit to dice. In ten minutes,
he had the fruit salad finished and the sausages sizzling on the grill. As he
was taking the sweet bread out of the oven, the Doctor cleared his throat.
Jared set the tray down and placed each bun onto a cooling tray.
As he was making the icing, the Doctor spoke.
“You used to make me pancakes every Sunday morning,” he said, looking into his
now empty cup. His voice was still scratchy. “Only thing you could make,
really.”
“I can make pancakes,” Jared murmured, not making eye contact, keeping his
sight fixed on the mixing bowl in his arms. “I can make lots of things, sir.”
“No, you can’t,” the Doctor huffed. “You’d burn the god damned toast. Cereal
was difficult. I did all the cooking. Shit, with the amount you ate it was a
fucking miracle we didn’t starve every week.”
Jared wanted to insist that he didn’t actually eat that much. He didn’t have to
be fed every day, if that’s what the Doctor preferred. Or he could give Jared a
bin every month and he would never have to see Jared eat or think about his
meals, if that was too much worry. He wanted to tell the Doctor that he would
be happy with scraps from the table or the trash bins if he would allow that.
He wanted to tell the Doctor that he didn’t take up too much space; he didn’t
need a closet and definitely didn’t need a room. He’d slept outside more than
once, chained to a post, in all kinds of weather.
 
Instead, Jared remained silent. He clutched the mixing bowl to his chest.
“Say something, dammit. I know you want to. You’d be kicking my ass out by now,
Jay. C’mon. Say something. Tell me how much of an asshole I’m being. Say it.”
The Doctor got up and walked over to Jared, putting his hands on Jared’s
shoulders and squeezing. “Say it!” he commanded and Jared gave a wince, bruises
forming.
“I… I…”
“Am I bothering you, Jay?! C’mon! Fight back!” the Doctor was shouting now,
inches away from Jared’s face, hands pressing tighter.
Trembling and shrinking into himself, Jared clung to the bowl he still held.
“Master, please. I’m sorry. I can make pancakes,” he blurted out, tears falling
as he looked up at the Doctor. “I can do it over. Just… please. I can make you
pancakes. I didn’t know. I’ll make them now…” Jared tried to turn towards the
counter but he was slammed against it instead. He instinctively brought his
hands up to block a blow. He could hear himself rambling on about how it
wouldn’t take very long, if Master would just wait two minutes he could make
pancakes.
“Fuck!” the Doctor roared and let go. He punched a cupboard above Jared’s head.
“That’s enough!”
Jared flinched at the sharp sound of Nicky’s voice. The older breeder strode
forward and pushed herself in front of the younger, forcing the Doctor to take
a step back. “You’re hurting him, don’t you realize?! Haven’t we been yelled at
enough by Masters like you? He said he would make you your stupid pancakes!”
Nicky turned and grabbed the bowl from Jared’s arms and threw it down at the
Doctor’s feet. It shattered loudly. “So why don’t you go wait, like a good
little boy, and we will make you your pancakes!”
“Why don’t you let him speak for himself? Why are you always here speaking for
him?” the Doctor shouted back. “This is between me and him and I would fucking
appreciate some privacy.”
Nicky’s shoulders tensed. She looked as if she were going to scream. “You don’t
get to have privacy if you’re going to treat him like that! Like he’s someone
else! That’s not fair, can’t you understand that? Whomever you think he is,
he’s not. He is his own person and if you knew how to speak to him, you’d
already know that.” She turned to Jared and placed her soft, warm hands on his
shoulders where the Doctor had gripped him. “I don’t mean to talk over you,
Jay. I don’t. I’m sorry. I just can’t stand there and watch this happen.”
“I’m fine, I’m fine,” Jared breathed, still shaking, refusing to look directly
at anyone. “It’s okay. I’ll pick it up. I’ll clean it up. And make pancakes.
Please.” He got to his knees and started picking up shards of the mixing bowl.
 
Both the breeder and the Master before him looked at him. He gathered the
biggest pieces in a fold of his robes and stood up, dumped them inside the
sink, and began wiping up the icing from the floor with a rag. After a moment,
the Doctor knelt down and took the rag from Jared, silently finishing the rest.
Nicky left the kitchen.
Wondering if things could be more complicated and confusing, Jared remained
kneeling, looking at the Doctor’s hands. He had strong hands, with tiny
freckles across his knuckles. Those hands had held Jared’s pups longer than he
had.
“Why do you call me Jay?” Jared asked, his voice unsteady but audible. He
fidgeted with his robes and looked at the floor. “No one but Nicky calls me
that, not even Master.”
The Doctor sighs and sits down on the floor, crossing his legs. He places his
hands under his chin and thinks for a minute before replying. “It was my
nickname for you. Always was.”
Jared nodded. He got a little bolder. “Did I have one for you?” he asked, not
even knowing who he was talking about. There was obviously someone the Doctor
cared for a great deal and Jared happened to look similar.
“Yeah. Jen. Sometimes Jenny, but…” the Doctor cleared his throat. “I didn’t
always like that. You did it as a joke.”
“Oh.”
Another awkward minute of silence passed and Jared looked up at the counter. He
finally made eye contact with the Doctor, who seemed sad and in the middle of
grieving. “What happened? To him?”
It was the Doctor’s turn to flinch. His face shut out all emotion and this time
he evaded eye contact.
In a rough voice, the Master replied, “It’s complicated, dammit. I can’t… I
can’t say. Nothing and everything. Shit.” He pulled his knees up to his chest
and hid his face from Jared. “You don’t have to make pancakes.”
Jared nodded and took in a deep breath. He was going to either ruin this
completely or succeed at something, even if it was a very small something. He
reached forward and placed a hand over one of the Doctor’s. The Doctor tensed
up but allowed it. They both looked at each other.
“Thank you,” Jared whispered, knowing that he was blushing. “I… never got to
say that, for before.”
He hoped that the Doctor understood what he was being thanked for.
The Doctor gave the smallest, faintest smile and whispered back, “They were
perfect.”
 
Master invited the Doctor to stay for another night.
The day passed quickly, until Nicky and Jared shared a bath before dinner. Time
slowed down as they kissed and held each other close in the warm, bubbly water.
She nuzzed him and licked away tears he hadn’t realized had fallen.
“I want more pups,” Jared cried, hiding his face in her the crook of her neck.
“It haunts me.”
With a nod, she held him tight.
Nothing could be said to fix what he felt and they both knew that.
 
Before dinner, the Doctor asked Jared to meet him in the same study near his
suite. Jared was told to sit on the couch and wait, as the Doctor dug through a
travel bag. Jared smelled like bread and herbs, which he hoped the Doctor
didn’t mind. He’d done most of dinner that night, to thank Nicky for the night
before, though she had helped with the sides and dessert. Jared nervously sat
on the couch, waiting and trying to think of what the Doctor had to show him.
“Finally,” the Doctor muttered, tossing the bag aside. “Thought maybe I forgot
the damn thing.”
In his hands was a wooden box, no larger than a story book. It was a dark
cherry wood, polished and well taken care of. The Doctor opened it and set it
down between them on the couch. Jared marveled at the box, which had unfolded
to a small table of sorts, with black and white checkers. Glass objects in
strange shapes lay in a delicate velvet mold.
Jared looked up at the Doctor for an explanation.
The Doctor sighed, a glint of hope fading in his eyes. “It’s chess. You don’t
know what chess is?”
“No sir.” Jared wanted to remind the Doctor that he could barely read, let
alone understand something Masters did that involved shiny glass objects.
“You… well. I’ll explain it to you, I guess.”
“Is this for breeders?”
“What? No! This is for…”
Jared pulled back his hand. He was going to touch one of the pieces but quickly
composed himself. The Doctor shook his head and started setting up the pieces
in a pattern on the table, which he called a board. He started explaining which
pieces were called what and what they could do and couldn’t do. He held up one
and said it was a pawn, then another and said it was a queen. The purpose of
the game was to surround and checkmate the king piece through a series of moves
on the board. He was shown all the different moves each piece could make to do
so.
“Would you… play a game with me?” the Doctor asked, his voice hesitant.
“Yes sir,” Jared replied and focused on the board. “Can I touch them?”
A nervous laugh sounded out. “Yeah, you can touch them. You can go first.”
An hour passed until the Doctor got frustrated and commanded Jared to stop
letting him win. Jared stammered out an apology and the Doctor reset the board
for the third time.
The Doctor’s jaw dropped when Jared had whispered a small, “checkmate,” ten
minutes later.
“Is that not good?” Jared asked desperately. “I can do it over.”
“No, it’s fine. You usually beat me. Just… you’re good at this. You’re still
good at this.”
Jared didn’t understand how he was still good at something he had never played
before. A breeder’s spare moments were dedicated to their household by sewing
or quilting. Games and cards were not for breeders.
Rubbing his chin, the Doctor admitted defeat and packed up the game. He set the
box on his opposite side and moved closer to Jared. They sat an inch apart.
Jared felt a thrumming under his skin. The pace of his heart picked up as he
felt the Doctor cup his chin and pull them in for another kiss.
Jared opened his mouth willingly and sighed. The Doctor tasted like peppermint
and coffee. One large hand stroked Jared’s cheek while the other played with
his hair, curling strands around his fingers. The breeder kissed back once they
formed a pace. Jared knew how to kiss—he knew how to do everything to please a
Master—but he’d never actually needed to use his skills. His previous Master
hadn’t bothered with kisses.
The fire crackled the same way Jared’s blood did. He mewled softly as the
Doctor nipped at the bottom of his lip, then licked over it. Jared cautiously
wrapped his arms around the Doctor’s shoulders and leaned forward into him,
pressing them closer.
This Master was terrifyingly confusing. And Jared couldn’t find any capacity to
care as long as their mouths were like this.
They paused briefly for breath but the Doctor swept in for a deep kiss that
pushed a moan out of Jared.
In one swift motion, the Doctor hefted Jared onto his lap. Jared rocked back
instinctively and let out a breathy keen, drawing in a sharp breath as two
things occurred simultaneously: the Doctor placed a hand on his belly and Jared
felt the Doctor grow hard underneath him. Both things caused Jared to blush and
shiver in pleasure. His mind flipped to the Doctor pushing inside him, pounding
and thrusting, working those powerful thighs to get deeper and deeper inside
Jared. He would make it so good for the Doctor. He would twist and clench in
response; he would arch and gasp as wetness slicked the way for them to move
together easily. The Doctor would come and fill Jared up.
And then he would have a belly full of the Doctor’s pups.
“Jay,” the Doctor grunted, pushing his hips up. “Jay I miss you.”
Jared snapped back to reality.
He flinched and tensed up, which the Doctor noticed and came back from whatever
thoughts he had been having.
In shock, he shoved Jared off his lap. Jared fell to the floor with a yelp.
His robes were falling off and his hair was a mess. He knew what he looked
like, and more importantly, he knew what he looked like in the Doctor’s eyes.
Like something cheap and desperate.
The Doctor stood up, his face a bright red that went up to his ears, and
excused himself, running to his suite.
Jared heard the door slam shut.
He curled up and stayed there until dinner was announced.
How could he compete with someone he had never met?
 
The evening was tense for everyone and Master noticed. He pet Jared on the head
whenever Jared was near. Jared happily leaned into the touch. When Jared was
finished clearing the table, Master pulled him onto his lap in the same manner
the Doctor had an hour before.
Except Master just kept petting Jared, who started purring. Nicky watched,
happy. The Doctor’s eyes narrowed and he avoided looking.
Master gently had Jared get up before he announced, “Perhaps we’ve all been
inside too much lately. How does a trip to Maya tomorrow sound? Hmm?” he asked
Nicky and Jared. “We’ll leave early, dine there, and see a show. Maybe you two
can pick up more fabric for another quilt.”
Both breeders chipped in their murmurs of agreement. Master turned to the
Doctor. “Care to join us, Doctor? Have you been to Maya?”
The Doctor hesitated but answered smoothly, “I thank you, but I think it best
to return home, sir. The Judge will be back soon and I should be there. I have
not been to Maya. Is it much different from Meridian?”
As the Masters spoke of the differences between the two cities, the breeders
slipped into the kitchen and began washing the night’s dishes. Nicky vibrated
with excitement. “I haven’t been to Maya in such a long time! Jay, you’ll love
it. It’s so pretty. We’ll buy some flowers, and these chocolates that I like,
and we can finally buy lace for that blanket we’ve been making. And I’ll have
to tell Eli to buy you another set of robes. Four isn’t enough, my goodness and
you’ll be growing soon!” She clapped her hands. “And a show! I can’t believe
Eli thought of this. It’s exactly what we need. An outing will clear all of our
heads.”
Jared nodded and half listened to her as she talked about Maya. He thought
about the Doctor leaving and felt both relieved and anxious. Would the Doctor
call again anytime soon? Or had he perhaps decided that Jared wasn’t worth
anymore effort or time? It’s not like Jared could be purchased, either.
Spending time with purchased goods didn’t make sense to Jared.
He went through the familiar motions of his nighttime routine. He met the
Doctor in the same study and joined him, neither one of them speaking. The
Doctor was reading and Jared took his place on the floor, by the Master’s feet.
In a few minutes, Jared dozed off lightly. He purred in the warmth he felt for
the moment.
He never took heat for granted.
 
When he woke up next, he was in a bed, but not his bed.
He was in the Doctor’s bed.
Panicked, he sat up and looked around, his eyes adjusting to darkness. How long
had he been asleep? He looked over to the window—outside was dark but he
couldn’t gauge the time. He glanced over at the nearest nightstand. A pair of
wire glasses was set there, over the book the Doctor had been reading. Jared
wondered what the Doctor looked like with glasses on. He carefully lay back
down, next to the warm body at his side.
The Doctor looked much younger when he was asleep. Jared shifted closer, buried
under the layers of quilts on the bed. Suddenly, the Doctor moved and Jared
held his breath.
“Jay,” the Doctor sleepily grumbled, “ten more minutes, babe.”
Shakily, Jared let out the breath he had been holding in. The Doctor moved,
flipped from his side to his stomach, and placed one arm over Jared, pulling
him close.
“Jus’ ten more minutes, Jay, I swear,” the Doctor slurred in his sleep. “Uh
huh…” A snore appeared and Jared stifled a laugh. It made him sad to hear the
Doctor miss his companion, but it also made him happy that the Doctor had
deemed Jared worthy enough to share his bed with Jared for the night.
For the next few minutes he was awake, Jared listened to the Doctor’s steady
breathing, and studied the freckles on his face. Jared turned on his side and
the Doctor followed, spooning him from behind, tangling their legs together.
They were pressed close together.
 
When the Doctor placed a hand over Jared’s stomach, something in Jared’s heart
felt lighter.
He slept better that night.
***** Underneath *****
Chapter Summary
     The next morning is less fortunate for Jared.
Chapter Notes
     Please read all the tags carefully for warnings. Remember that this
     is dark!fic-AU. Special warning for this chapter for angst and a
     scene with male lactation.
     I guess it's important to remember that Jared is still relatively
     young for a breeder and doesn't yet fully know what his body is
     completely capable of (since he's only had one litter). And while
     it's easy for us to blame Jensen, he too, is struggling to accept
     breeders as a real concept. Just not in the best way. Also,
     asshole!Jensen is a favorite of mine. He'll be less asshole-ish
     later, especially in the next chapter. So stay tuned! Keep cheering
     for Jared!
     Short chapter today because I'm extra tired but y'all will get an
     update tomorrow during the day before I go to work.
     Questions, comments, kudos, feels, etc. are all appreciated! Thank
     you for reading! Please let me know what you think!
The morning started out well enough.
Rested and accustomed to early mornings, Jared managed to slip out of the
Doctor’s bed, go downstairs and prepare a tray of food and coffee, bring it
back, and sneak back under the quilts beside the Doctor without disturbing him.
The deep snores from the Master solidified the fact that he was a heavy sleepy
and definitely, Jared decided, not a Master who liked to be woken up early. He
settled back in with little trouble, pulling the quilts to his chest and
burrowing, inhaling the scent of the Doctor and clean bedding.
Jared was warm, comfortable, and not alone. He tucked this moment away for
himself.
It didn’t take much for him to drift into a light sleep, but he woke up a few
minutes after, when the Doctor moved. He’d been laying on his stomach but
shifted to his side, putting them in the same spooning position as they had
fallen asleep the night before. Except there was one very obvious and
potentially disastrous difference.
Jared mewled a small protest as the Doctor pushed his hips forward, against the
curve of Jared’s ass. The hard, rigid length felt good; Jared automatically
pushed back. The Doctor tossed an arm over Jared and placed a hand on the
center of his chest, long, elegant fingers grazing over the breeder’s nipples.
Jared hissed with pleasure from the touches and friction in general, but his
own cock remained soft. If the Doctor wanted Jared to feel more, he would have
to gain access to the control to Jared’s chip. There had been times, one of
them now, when Jared wondered what it would feel like to be hard for the
purpose of pleasure, not for milking. Nicky described it as liberating,
incredibly enjoyable, but also that it was something difficult to explain in
words.
 
In the meantime, Jared was happy to provide the Doctor with pleasure; however
he could without breaking his Master’s rules. He managed a small wiggle of his
hips and the Doctor moaned, his breath warm on Jared’s neck. His lips—which
Jared had begun to appreciate—pressed on a spot just below Jared’s ear, which
caused him to whine and shift back. The Master’s cock was now firmly fitted in
the warm space under Jared’s ass, nudging at his balls. Jared cursed the night
clothes the Doctor had worn to bed. They were stubbornly in the way. Jared had
been clothed when he had first woken up—still wearing the robes he’d worn the
day before—but when he slipped back into the Doctor’s bed he’d settled in
unclothed. He hoped it wouldn’t be taken the wrong way; he was just
uncomfortable wearing anything in bed. He hoped it wouldn’t be overstepping his
boundaries too much, not that pushing the Doctor’s cock between the tight space
it currently occupied wasn’t.
Before Jared could prevent it from happening, the Doctor pushed his hand from
Jared’s chest to his soft cock and wrapped his fingers around it. Grunting, he
pumped it, nipping at the nape of the breeder’s neck with a growl. The breeder
squirmed and mewled, caught in the tight grasp. The Doctor’s hand there didn’t
hurt, but it was uncomfortable. Pressure built up in his balls and increased
with each rough stroke. The Doctor mumbled something Jared didn’t hear.
A minute later, Jared’s cock was still soft, but heavy, and he was panting into
his pillow, trying to keep quiet. He bit down on his lip and shuddered as the
Doctor started to flick his wrist and thrust his hips with more force against
Jared.
“Jay, oh shit,” the Doctor drawled. He nuzzed Jared’s neck and licked a long
stripe down. “Ride me babe. C’mon, Jay, please.” From what Jared could catch,
it seemed like the Doctor had been very attached to this companion. At least as
attached as being very intimate with each other.
Jared wondered how that felt, too.
 
However, pressure continued to build in Jared’s stomach as the Doctor mumbled
on. Jared began to panic, knowing that the Doctor would wake up soon. It felt
like he was going to be milked, but Jared didn’t understand it. It’d been more
than a month since he’d had his litter. Breathing hard, he groaned as he felt
his balls expand slightly and his cock harden. It felt entirely different than
when he’d been carrying an actual litter and now that there was a hand there,
steadily pumping. Jared thrust into the Master’s hand, desperate now for
release. All he could think about was alleviating the pressure. Like a great
bubble of air was inside him, the pressure increased and Jared flinched.
“Jay?” the Doctor rumbled with a yawn. “What’s wrong, Jay?”
The Doctor’s hand stopped moving and Jared whimpered in pain.
“M-master, please,” he begged softly, clutching the pillow under his head. “It
hurts.”
Reflexively, the Doctor’s hand squeezed in shock as he woke up and realized
part of what was happening. Jared let out a keen and threw his head back as a
gush of milk poured all over the bed.
“What are you doing?! Get off me!” the Doctor shouted and pushed Jared away
from him. Jared gasped and tried to sit up and start making his apologies but
his damn clumsiness got the best of him. He twisted in the sheets, panicking
because of the situation, the Doctor’s anger, and the fact that he couldn’t
stop the gush of milk.
He ended up falling off the bed and onto the floor, dragging the sheets with
him.
 
The Doctor got up from the bed and ran into the bathroom without giving a
second look at the breeder on the floor. Once again, Jared heard a door slam
shut. He kept his head down and scooted under the bed as best he could,
shivering and crying as his cock released the last amount of milk. He was in a
puddle of it, thick and warm, but all he could think of was how little control
he had over his body.
It seemed like hours before he stopped releasing milk. With a final, large
spurt that caused Jared to scream in pain, his cock gave a final twitch before
it hung limp between his legs again. It felt like his insides had been twisted
up and wrung dry. Worse, he thought of his pups and how they would only ever
know synthetic milk after the first bottle had been emptied. Or worse, the milk
of another breeder.
The Doctor padded out of the bathroom and walked up to the edge of the bed.
Jared tried his best to stay quiet and still, as if he could hide or escape his
present situation.
“Get out of there, Jared,” the Master snapped, his voice tense. “Don’t make me
pull you out of there myself.”
Jared didn’t move. He clung to the soaked sheet underneath him and understood
why second breeders were taught never to hold or touch their pups after birth.
This was a pain so much more intense than anything physical he had ever
experienced. Their training never covered what to do with the pups after birth
because they were not to have any contact. Contact created unnecessary,
burdensome feelings for the breeders.
“God dammit.”
A hand appeared from the edge of the bed and grabbed Jared by the hair. He was
drawn out, sobbing and wet. The Doctor was dressed in a robe and holding a
whip. Jared immediately panicked and bucked against the Doctor’s grip,
blubbering and rambling on apologies and begging to be forgiven. His hair was
yanked and he was forced to look up. He couldn’t read any of the emotions on
the Master’s face, which scared him. He had no idea what would or could come
next.
“Is this what you want me to do? Whip you? Because that’s how things work here,
isn’t it? I’m supposed to just… use this thing and make you understand?” the
Doctor was shouting and Jared remained silent. He waved the whip around,
letting it get close to Jared’s face once or twice. “You can’t do… that while
I’m sleeping, Jared! It’s not fucking right! You’re a child for fuck’s sake!”
Finally, the Doctor let go of Jared’s hair and threw the whip down onto the
bed.
Jared put his hands up, ready to block a blow.
He wanted to tell the Doctor that he wasn’t a child. He hadn’t been for a long
time. Children did not have litters or sleep outside chained to posts while it
rained and stormed. Children didn’t run households or trot behind carriages.
But there wasn’t any use to that. There was no point in telling the Doctor that
sometimes Masters did take thirteen year old second breeders for their
households and forced them to breed, despite the risks. Or they’d wait the two
years, working the breeder hard with manual labor until it could carry a litter
with a higher success rate.
Thirteen wasn’t that young for breeders. Especially not ones with histories
like Jared’s.
“Forget it,” the Doctor muttered and walked towards the door to the suite. “One
minute I see you and the next I don’t. I just… I can’t.”
 
Jared was sure the Doctor wouldn’t return when he left, but he did. He brought
with him Nicky, who rushed to Jared’s side immediately upon seeing him.
“My goodness,” she gasped and ran her hands over his face. “Are you alright?
Did you finish?” she asked breathlessly and checked his cock. “Didn’t they milk
you at the kennels? Jay? Jay, honey, please…”
“What? What’s wrong with him?” the Doctor asked in a forceful tone. “He was… he
was basically humping me this morning and then that just… happened. It got
everywhere.”
Nicky shook Jared’s shoulders, trying to get a response. She held him close,
against her chest, ignoring how wet she was getting with the milk spilled.
“He didn’t mean it!” she hissed towards the Master. “They didn’t milk him at
the kennels and he… he was probably… relaxed enough… oh god, how did he end up
on the floor? Under the bed? What did you do?!”
“Nothing! I panicked! He was all over me!”
“He was probably trying to make you feel good! Jay, honey, please talk to me.”
Jared heard the voices around him but they seemed very far away and he was
tired. Too tired to reach out to them. So he closed his eyes and slumped
against Nicky with a sigh, every muscle going limp as he fell into darkness. It
was much better than being awake. And he couldn’t bear to hear anyone call him
Jay anymore.
The weight was back on his chest.
 
The rest of the day was spent in his room, ordered on rest. Nicky brought him a
light broth and a piece of bread for his midday meal, which he ate half of.
She explained to him that sometimes breeders kept an extra store of milk for a
while after carrying a litter. Their bodies were prepared to provide for a
recent litter, but Nicky had thought the kennels had milked him before putting
him to auction. The older breeder lay in bed with him after she cleared the
tray. She pressed kisses on his face and played with his hair, humming softly.
Jared leaned into her touch but didn’t say anything.
He fell asleep again and woke up when it was dark outside.
By then, the Doctor had already left. 
***** Grinning *****
Chapter Summary
     After the Doctor's departure, Jared finds something he left behind in
     his room.
Chapter Notes
     Please read the tags for all the warnings. Please remember that this
     is dark!-fic AU. Nothing explicit or graphic in this chapter.
     Short chapter again my dears, because this damn migraine won't go
     away. I'll try and make an extra long update tomorrow though to make
     up for this. And sorry to leave you with more questions. Guess you'll
     just have to stick around for answers!
     Questions, comments, feels, kudos, etc. are all appreciated and make
     my day so much better when I'm at work. Talk to me! Let me know what
     you're thinking/feeling. Thank you for reading!
That night, Jared got up from bed while it was still dark outside. Everyone had
gone to sleep hours before but he was restless. Exhausted from the events of
the day, but still thrumming with nervous energy.
He knew exactly where he wanted to go.
Navigating through dark hallways he’d once felt so overwhelmed by, he made it
to the east wing, where the Doctor had stayed. He found the suite easily after
that and stepped in carefully, as if afraid to disturb anyone, even though he
knew the suite was empty.
Nicky had already been through and cleaned things up, set fresh sheets on the
bed and mopped up the floor. Jared had lost track of the number of times he had
apologized to her—and eventually to Master—for ruining the sheets and making a
mess. She had given him a sad smile and replied, “It happens to all of us,
Jared.” He wasn’t sure if she was speaking specifically about his situation or
something else, but either way, he understood.
Stepping over to the bed, Jared lightly touched it with his fingertips.
He had no reason to feel attachment to the Doctor, other than what had happened
in the cellar. And even then, the Doctor had just been doing his job. It’s not
like he ultimately felt any emotions towards the pups he had held, even if he
had called them perfect later on. It was his first time helping a second
breeder deliver, so Jared knew that he’d just been overwhelmed with the newness
of the experience.
 
And yet here he was, stupidly standing next to an empty bed.
He couldn’t let go and he realized that that was his problem with most things.
He couldn’t let go of the Doctor though he should because the Doctor was not
his Master and had no interest in breeders. He couldn’t let go of his pups even
though he should because he would never see them again and the same would
happen with the next litter and the litter after that. He couldn’t let go of
his feelings even though he should because feeling anything besides duty and
responsibility and shame complicated everything.
In one fluid motion, Jared tossed himself onto the bed, landing with a small
squeak. He curled up on the side the Doctor had occupied. Replacing the sheets
had changed the smell of the bed, but Jared could still detect hints of the
Doctor, especially on the pillow. He closed his eyes and clung to the pillow.
He wondered what the Master who had purchased him would be like. He wondered if
they would use him for manual work until he became of proper age or if they
planned on breeding him right away. He wondered if they would allow him a
pallet or a closet—or even a room—and how his meals would be given. He had just
settled into the routine Nicky and Master expected him to follow; adjusting to
another new household would be stressful. He hoped that his new Master would be
patient with him as he learned the new set of rules and expectations and
standards.
The thought of leaving Nicky hurt, so he never dwelled on it, especially in her
company. There would be no more kisses, baths, or quiet time curled up by a
warm fire as she played with his hair.
For some reason, one that Jared couldn’t name, he thought of Cody. The first
breeder who looked so happy in all the photographs he’d seen of him. But Jared
would take second looks and there would be sadness there, a miniscule amount of
grief that brief glances would not reveal. He studied Cody’s portraits and came
to the same conclusion: smiles could only mask so much.
 
Breeders didn’t often talk to each other about their feelings or emotions or
opinions. They communicated the basic needs and details of the household and
that was it. Even the conversation between Nicky and himself weren’t filled
with their opinions on the world.
They simply weren’t trained to communicate that way, to form relationships in
that manner. Jared understood the relationships around him and could respond to
them, if given enough time to adjust, but he also understood the difficulty he
had in forming sentences about his own thoughts. It frustrated the Doctor, who
was not used to such a thing so it seemed, and Jared didn’t know how to change
himself.
With a sigh, he turned to lie on his side, facing the window and the nightstand
nearby, where the Doctor had previously placed his glasses. Jared reached out
and touched the shiny surface. The Doctor must need glasses only for reading,
since he didn’t wear them otherwise. Jared thought they made him look even more
handsome, more distinguished.
Something caught the breeder’s attention just then. A corner of a piece of
paper was sticking out from where it was wedged under the nightstand. It barely
stuck out but Jared had been trained to notice details, no matter how seemingly
insignificant. He reached over, stretching, and tugged carefully, mindful not
to pull too hard and risk tearing whatever it was. After a few tries, he
finally pulled it out and sat up to look at it. It was a glossy photograph that
had a few wrinkles in it after being kept in a pocket for so long. There were
tiny tears in it as well, which told Jared that this photograph was old and
well loved.
On the back of it, Jared could make out a few words. The writing wasn’t the
neatest but the words were simple enough for the breeder to decipher.
“Love you  Jenny,” Jared read out loud in a whisper. “Always…”
Jared couldn’t read the last part. His hands started to shake. He thought
perhaps he might have it wrong. Maybe he was reading a letter or two
incorrectly. But then he flipped the photograph over and he knew he had it all
right.
What the photograph was of frightened Jared.
 
Even in darkness, lit only by the moon, he could see the two figures in the
frame, arms looped around each other’s shoulders, grins on their faces.
It was of him and the Doctor.
Except it wasn’t really him and it wasn’t really the Doctor.
 
Jared tucked the photograph in his robes and ran all the way back to his room.
He took a bath and scrubbed at his skin until it was raw and red.
He was being asked to turn himself inside out. The problem was, Jared thought
he’d already done that.
***** Cold Snap *****
Chapter Summary
     The household makes preparations for the winter and take a trip into
     town.
Chapter Notes
     Please read the tags carefully and remember that this is dark!fic-AU.
     Nothing explicit in this chapter.
     Update before another busy day!
     Questions, comments, kudos, feels, etc. are most lovingly welcomed.
     Talk to me--I love hearing from y'all. Thank you for reading! Stay
     tuned!
The cold season arrived faster than anyone had anticipated it, even Master.
Two weeks later, seemingly overnight, their entire world changed. A cold snap
occurred and Master and Jared spent the entire morning getting the stables in
shape for the five horses that lived there. Jared liked working with the
horses, even though their size sometimes intimidated him. Master usually
allowed him to brush the coats of the two smaller ones, and sometimes Jared
would be asked to take them for warm-up trots. Running beside them, Jared would
take them through their pen behind the stables. He enjoyed the exercise and the
feeling that he was being useful to Master outside of the main house.
Cold set in even during the day and so the entire household was turning over
from fall to winter. The pantry was full with enough food to last them all
winter and then some, which Master had seen to with great detail and effort.
Most of the guest rooms were closed off now, as maintaining them open would
require too much effort when the weather was at its coldest. The breeders spent
a few days changing the bedding and cleaning those rooms before Master locked
them up until the spring. Nicky showed Jared how to keep rooms smelling fresh
and clean even after months of disuse. She tucked small bags of sweet smelling
dried flowers under every pillow. She gave one to Jared, who kept one with him
every night.
Master announced one morning that they would need to take a trip into town for
supplies. He would make two trips—one this week and one the next—but he only
needed the breeders for one. They were in charge of buying supplies for the
main house while Master would attend to his business and trade.
“You’ll stay with us through the Winter Holiday,” Master added as they were
eating supper during his announcement. “By the New Year your new household will
be ready to take you in. You learn all you can from Nicky until then.”
“Yes Master,” Jared replied and took a sip of juice. He glanced at Nicky, who
refused to make eye contact with anyone. It hadn’t occurred to Jared that she
might miss him as well.
He hadn't thought anyone was capable of missing him.
 
The next day, Master and Jared prepared the wagon for their journey into town.
It was Jared’s responsibility to prepare foot warmers for their party. Master
would drive the horses and the two breeders who would ride in the back of the
wagon. The wagon they were using was the largest that Master owned, wide and
deep enough for the breeders to lay in unseen, painted a dark red. The wheels
came up to Jared’s chest.
He had prepared foot warmers twice before, at his previous household, but this
time Master was generous enough to give Jared gloves. Carefully, Jared picked
up hot coals from the oven in the shed next to the stables. He then transferred
the coals into metal boxes and wrapped the boxes in blankets. In a few minutes
he successfully put together five in total. Three he placed up front where
Master would sit and two—one for each—were placed where the breeders would
ride.
As they prepared the wagon for the long ride, Nicky was inside airing out
blankets, furs, and wraps for the wagon and its occupants. When Master and
Jared returned inside, their job done, she had soup ready for their midday
meal.
Peacefully, they sat down at the dining room table.
Jared figured he had about two months left here before his entire world changed
yet again.
 
The ride to Meridian went well. Master had helped Nicky and Jared into the
wagon and made sure that they were settled before tending to the horses. Nicky
fussed with Jared’s wraps, claiming they weren’t fastened on right. He let her
hands flutter over him. He knew she would be flicking her hair back if it
weren’t covered by her shawl.
Kept warm by their layers and foot warmers, both breeders ended up dozing
lightly as Master drove. Jared curled up into Nicky, waking up a few times to
find that the scenery around them had changed several times, but her hand never
left his under their blankets. In the middle of the journey, they lay down
completely and Master tugged a blanket over them. Nicky pressed her lips
against Jared’s and they kissed lazily, purring at the welcomed contact and
additional warmth.
At the end of the wagon ride, Master slipped them each a piece of chocolate for
being so well-behaved. Jared ate his slowly, savoring each tiny bite, letting
it melt in his mouth a little at a time.
Master gave them something else as well.
“Two pieces of silver each,” he stated simply. “Do with it as you please, but
remember that these months will be long and you’ll need some form of amusement.
Spend it wisely if you can.”
“Yes Master,” they both instinctively replied at once.
Jared held his coins tightly, then placed them in an inside pocket of his
robes. Two pieces of silver was more than he had ever hoped to have. He’d never
had his own money before. The fact dazed him and he felt like he was floating
on air for a long time afterwards. The food he could buy with two pieces of
silver!
“Are we all clear about the rules today?” Master asked as he handed out lists
to each breeder.
“Stay together, don’t talk to strangers,” they both rattled off, “find Master
if there is trouble and meet back here at dinnertime no matter what. Yes, sir.”
Satisfied, Master nodded and shooed them away. Nicky held onto Jared’s hand
tightly and when they were a few steps away from Master, they looked at each
other and laughed with excitement. Although they had business to attend to for
the household, they would have it finished in time to enjoy the day and spend
their gifts.
“Let’s get started?” Nicky asked, her eyes shining.
“Let’s,” Jared replied with a smile.
 
Crowds of Masters and breeders filled the narrow streets of Meridian. They had
arrived an hour or so before midday and all businesses were open, hoping to get
as many coins as possible before sunset, when the market shut down. Meridian
was a central town because of its location to a large lake Jared had never been
to but had heard of from Nathaniel. The lake was about twenty miles to the
south, if the information he’d heard had been correct. Though the town didn’t
have a river run through it, it was still quite busy for its size.
He didn’t know how many people lived in the town itself or in the outer
parts—or in households in the country—but Jared knew it had to be a lot. He’d
been to market several times before, but Master had always been with him and
they’d only gone to three shops total and always in the outskirts of the
market. This time, he followed Nicky into the central stalls, deep amidst the
shouts of merchants and customers. He quickly found out that Nicky was an
expert at haggling and bluffing.
“They never expect me to be able to read their prices,” Nicky murmured to Jared
as they passed from one stall to the other. “See that one? Four bronze for a
pound of pears. The other one back there was asking for six. Cheats!” She
pouted in her way and Jared just smiled. They kept a small bag of coins between
them, passing it back and forth as they crossed items off their lists. Whatever
they bought, they placed in knapsacks Master had provided them with, and kept
them tied in front of them instead of behind to thwart any potential
pickpockets.
Meridian wasn’t as large as Maya—again, this was based on what Jared had
heard—but he thought it was still a pretty town. The center of town was
antiquated from the rest because it had never kept up with the expansion. The
older portions of Meridian had small, hidden alleyways and businesses tucked in
nearly invisible places. A theater was centrally located where local breeders
would dance or perform plays of obedience and humility to audiences of Masters.
Jared had never been to it but he wondered what it felt like to pretend and be
someone else for a little while.
Town was loud and they kept close together. For a moment, they ducked into a
small jewelry shop to browse and rest from the crowds of people pushing against
each other in the marketplace. The owner greeted them and told them of a few
sales, suggested a piece or two, and went back to his newspaper.
“A necklace would look lovely on you,” Nicky murmured, her eyes focused on a
delicate silver chain.
“I don’t need a necklace,” Jared replied, blushing.
“Sometimes you don’t have to need anything. It’s nice to just want.”
“I suppose.”
Try as he might, he couldn’t think of anything he truly wanted. A new pair of
slippers might be nice but the ones he had on were fine, not a hole in them at
all. Nicky had already bought him a winter robe. He thought he might purchase a
packet of seeds for the garden, but he realized he would not be in the
household come spring and who knew if his new Master would even allow him to
look at the household garden.
In the end, they visited three shops and Jared couldn’t find anything he wanted
enough to part with his silver pieces. Nicky purchased a few bracelets and
something for her service with Master but wouldn’t show or explain it to Jared.
She merely blushed and placed it in her knapsack with care.
Their lists were finished by early afternoon. Jared had peaches and berries and
soaps in his knapsack. He reached in it at Nicky’s request and pulled out two
peaches for their meal. At the center of the market, they sat on the edge of a
fountain, eating slowly, licking juice from their fingers as they ate.
Jared bit in and savored the flavor, glancing up at random.
Immediately, he saw the Doctor.
His breath caught in his chest and his thoughts turned to the photograph, which
was tucked in the same secret pocket of his robe that his silver pieces were
in. He hadn’t wanted to leave it alone in the house.
It felt too important.
The breeder watched the Doctor walk from outside his office—which Jared had
never seen before—and down the street. For a minute Jared thought the Doctor
might recognize him, but the Master walked right past. Both Nicky and Jared had
their shawls up. Jared was at first grateful, as he couldn’t think of anything
to say at all, but then regretted it. He needed to return the photograph. It
was obviously something the Doctor treasured and he would want it back. It was
the least Jared could do for him, especially after what happened.
Just as Jared was about to stand, he saw the Doctor stop at a red door on the
side of an alley.
“Jay,” Nicky whispered, nudging him gently. “I see what you see but…”
“What does that door mean?” Jared asked, interrupting her, which was not like
him.
She hesitated but told him. “It’s a brothel, Jay.”
Of these, Jared had also heard of but never been. Old Master had told
Jared—when his service had been particularly poor—that the breeders in brothels
were better in bed than him. At the time it had seemed like such a
disappointment to Jared, who had been trying his best to please Master in every
way he knew how. Nathaniel had never shared with him what kinds of things
Master liked or preferred in bed; anything Jared tried on his own, whether it
was a swivel of his hips or a well-timed moan, usually caused Jared a beating.
Eventually, Jared learned to stay still and shut up. Master didn't go to Jared
for pleasure; he used Jared for service. 
He felt a heavy sense of failure now, watching the Doctor knock in some kind of
code.
His heart sank. He dropped the peach onto the ground. It landed with a squish.
Masters only went to brothels when their breeders couldn’t satisfy them, or if
they were in between purchasing and selling breeders. It was a source of shame
for any household breeder because it meant that they had failed in their most
fundamental use.
The Doctor was obviously not interested in Jared. He stared until the Doctor
disappeared, led inside by a mysterious wave.
Some breeders were randomly selected for brothels, others were sold directly to
one by their Masters. The entire system worked differently on the inside, but
Jared's knowledge of breeder life in brothels was limited. He knew that a
breeder could never choose to work there. Brothel breeders were also not
required to have yearly litters. Jared was unsure of whether or not life in a
brothel was better or worse than in a household.
He kept his head down and tried to ignore the tight feeling in his chest.
Nicky put her hand over his, their fingers sticky. Not a word passed between
them.
 
Washed up in the cold water of the fountain, the breeders got up and resumed
walking around. They circled back to a shop near the red door. Jared couldn’t
help his curiosity and Nicky didn’t seem to mind, though she certainly didn’t
like seeing him upset. That and he had yet to spend his silver pieces and their
time in the marketplace was coming to a close.
Just as Jared was turning to follow her away from the door, it opened and the
Doctor walked out in a hurry. He was adjusting his vest, not looking where he
was going, and crashed into Jared. The breeder tumbled over and landed on his
knapsack, the sick squelch of its contents causing him to cry out. Half a
purse’s worth of fruit and soap was now nothing more than a sack of wet, sticky
mess.
“Sorry,” the Doctor blurted out and knelt down to help Jared,until he realized
who it was he had bumped into. “Oh. It’s you.” There was a tired flatness to
the Master’s voice that saddened Jared, but he was panicking too much to
realize it.
“S-sorry sir,” Jared stammered out, hiccupping back a sob, scrambling to shove
whatever had spilled out onto the street back into his knapsack. Nicky kept her
distance but Jared felt her anger radiate in waves off her. The Doctor remained
standing, looking down at Jared, not moving to help.
“What are you doing?” the Doctor asked sharply. 
“I…I...” Jared whimpered, tears squeezing out as he realized the Doctor was
right to question his actions. All the pears were mush. Not one peach was
salvageable. Still, Jared was trying to clean up the mess on the street.
The Doctor squatted down and looked at Jared. “Were you following me?”
Jared’s eyes went wide and he felt himself turn red. “N-n-no! I mean… yes… I…
no, sir! I only… I wanted…”
“You were,” the Doctor muttered and shook his head. “Look, I know you’re
probably confused—shit, I am too—but I can’t… I can’t deal with everything
right now. Especially after… that. It’s just not shit I’m used to. Okay? So
stop following me.”
The breeder could only nod, clutching his knapsack tightly.
“Stay away from me, Jared,” the Doctor ordered but his voice sounded distracted
and far away. “I mean it.” He stood up and looked at Jared once more before
walking away, blending into the crowds of the marketplace. But even the noise
of the market couldn’t drown out the pounding of Jared’s heart.
Nicky pulled him up and gave him a tight hug.
As they returned to the marketplace, Jared took out his pieces of silver and
paid for new items. They had to carefully load up Nicky’s knapsack but it all
fit and Jared still had two pieces of bronze left over.
In the end, he bought a glass figurine that looked like a chess piece. He had
no idea why he bought it—it was the most impractical thing—but the weight of it
in his pocket helped him forget the events of the day.
 
“Jared!”
The breeder didn’t respond. He sat in the back of the wagon, waiting for Master
to finish speaking with another Master. Jared kicked his feet back and forth.
Nicky put an arm around him protectively.
“Jared!”
Finally, the breeder looked up. The Judge was running towards them, waving and
smiling. He had such energy; he appeared before them quickly, barely pausing to
catch his breath.
“My goodness,” he laughed and stood with his hands on his hips. “It’s good to
see you, Jared!”
“You as well, sir,” Jared replied softly. “May I help you?”
The Judge’s blue eyes sparkled from the cold and something else Jared couldn’t
name. He looked well rested and happy, which Jared was glad for.
“Yes, actually! I was hoping you might be available tonight? To dine with
myself and the ever-cheerful ray of sunshine that is the Doctor? I can drive
you back in the morning, we’ll be staying in town tonight, over there at the
inn.” The Judge pointed to what Jared assumed was the inn. “I’d appreciate an
audience with the both of you, if you would have our company yet again.”
Dumbstruck, Jared didn’t reply for a moment.
Finally, his wits kicked in and he blurted out, “S-sir, you have to ask my
Master.”
“Of course I will,” the Judge agreed. “I just wanted to know if it was okay
with you?”
The breeder gave a nod in response. What more could he do? He couldn’t say no,
didn't the Judge understand that? A breeder was never asked if they wanted or
liked something, it was as their Masters wanted it to be. And why would he want
Jared's company anyway? There were many other breeders for the Judge to select-
-better ones with more experience. Maybe the Judge wanted the house cleaned
cheaply. Jared could do that more easily now, without his belly in the way. He
could use this opportunity to show the Judge that he was a hard worker. Sensing
Jared's hesitance, the Judge stepped over and spoke to Master, who had finished
his previous business. The two Masters had a conversation for a few minutes
before the Judge came back over and helped Jared down from the wagon.
“He said yes!” the Judge declared and gave Jared a wide smile. “I trust there’s
nothing else you need?”
Jared looked at Nicky, who gave him a small, weak smile for his own benefit. 
“No sir,” Jared replied. “Nothing else I need.”
“Excellent, let’s carry on, shall we?” The Judge looped his arm into Jared’s
and led him towards the inn.
 
Jared glanced back and saw Nicky watching him nervously, mouthing the words,
“Be careful.”
***** A Prayer *****
Chapter Summary
     Time is spent in the inn suite, where few things are revealed and
     more is asked of Jared.
Chapter Notes
     Please read the tags carefully. Remember that this is dark!fic-AU.
     There are no explicit warnings for this chapter. Though there is a
     lot of angst...
     Like, I kinda teared up at the end of this chapter.
     I recommend listening to the song either during or after you read
     this chapter. It's "A Prayer You Can Borrow" by Sean McConnell. I
     think Jensen would nail it if he ever sang it.
     So, lyrics are credit to that song.
     Comments, questions, kudos, feels, etc. are much appreciated. Thank
     you for reading!
The Judge carried conversation extensively, whether or not Jared replied back.
He talked about everything and anything, and pointed out that he was better at
understanding breeders now that he’d spent more time in Meridian. It helped to
put Jared at ease a little, but he was still incredibly anxious. The Doctor had
made it clear that his acquaintance with Jared was a mistake. And despite the
good intentions of his companion, Jared could see the Doctor being upset with
these plans. Unease pecked at his nerves.
At the inn, a breeder at the front desk led them towards the suite the Judge
had rented out. They walked up three flights of stairs, past other suites and
down a hallway to a single door. Jared was surprised and frightened when the
breeder provided the Judge with a whip and a set of chains. Left alone, the
Judge took the items and set them down on the mantel of the fireplace in the
living room.
“The manner of reprimanding breeders with such harsh punishment still seems
extreme to me,” he commented and walked around the suite, inspecting the
accommodations as any Master would. "Then again," the Judge murmured as he
checked behind the curtains of the window in the living room, "many of what
passes for normal here seems extreme to me." Jared stood still and waited for
directions or some kind of command. He snuck glances at the suite he would be
staying at for the rest of the night.
There were two rooms within the suite, in addition to a large shared living and
dining room. A balcony was available to them, connected to the dining room,
which overlooked the center of town. The suite was only three floors up, but
the view was still impressive to Jared. He hoped they would spend some time on
the balcony; there did seem to be some chairs set out there to do so. He also
noticed a metal post in the corner of the dining room, next to which was a
pillow. His stomach gave a small jump. A breeder’s post for extra convenience
meant that this inn was ready to provide for a Master’s every need.
He tried to focus, instead, on where he might sleep. He wondered if there were
any pallets in the rooms, though anywhere inside that he was allowed to sleep
in or on would be more than good enough. He silently admitted to himself that
he'd gotten spoiled by having his own bed in Master Eli's household. It seemed
like a lifetime ago that he was sleeping in a closet or on the floor of the
kitchen.
The Judge returned from his inspection and smiled at Jared. Smiling came very
naturally to this Master; it suited him, Jared thought. It added to a rough
charm he easily possessed and knew how to use.
“You’re anxious, I can tell,” he said to Jared, closing the distance between
them. “Have you eaten? Or would you like to eat? We can clarify a few details
over a tray or two. The Doctor won’t be joining us until later, though I don’t
exactly call that a damper to our time together.” From a shiny coffee table,
the Judge picked up a menu and sat down on one of the larger couches in the
sitting room. He looked over the menu for a minute before he politely asked
Jared to join him. Jared sat at his feet and listened to the Judge read off
selections.
Occasionally, the Judge would ask for Jared’s opinion on dishes he wasn’t
familiar with. Jared tried his best to explain them. Not too long after, the
Master rang a bell and a breeder appeared to take his order. As they waited for
the trays to be brought up, the Judge stared more conversation.
“You look absolutely wonderful,” the Judge cheerfully remarked as Jared sat
next to him. “I mean, the difference! You are doing well with Eli, aren’t you?
It shows and for that I am immeasurably glad. How has your time been there?”
With some hesitation, Jared formed a simple response. “Very good, sir. I am… my
Master is kind and takes care of me very well. Nicky too.”
“I am so pleased to hear that, Jared. I do apologize for not being present as
often as I would have liked to. The laws here are very different from what I am
accustomed to, extensive study has been required. Though I have had the good
fortune to speak with the Doctor about a few things here and there.” At this,
the Judge sighed and his smile faded. He turned to look at something, though
Jared didn’t know what it was. The unease in his stomach became a heavy weight
and he had to keep himself very still to prevent any fidgeting.
The Judge turned back to Jared, his blue eyes sincere and open. “Jared, if I
were to disclose some information to you, could I have your word that you would
keep it to yourself?”
Breeders were often confidants to their Masters. The best breeders took their
Masters’ secrets with them to their graves. A breeder who betrayed their
Master’s confidence had no right to air. “Yes sir, of course,” was Jared’s
quick reply. He hoped he seemed trustworthy to the Judge. If nothing else, he
could always listen and keep things to himself. He could be useful in that
aspect.
“I know you will, I just… old habit to ask before I proceed. Anyway,” the Judge
mumbled, his hands fluttering around him in anxiety. “Surely you have noticed
that the Doctor, whom I call Jensen, had at one point a companion. This
companion’s name was Jared and looked remarkably like you, though he was older.
I cannot, I’m afraid, go into any more detail about this companion, but…” the
Judge took to chewing on his bottom lip just as Jared was prone to. “The Doctor
and he were incredibly close. Although the events to which we lost this
companion occurred some time ago, the Doctor is still… not handling it well. He
has been unable to let go of his bitterness and his grief. Not that I make any
excuses for his behavior towards you, but I know that his behavior is directly
tied to what he has yet to learn or let go of.”
The Judge paused and stood up, rubbing his hands together. Jared didn’t stop
looking at him.
“I think you know more than anyone what it feels like to lose someone, or many
someones,” the Judge continued quietly. “Indeed, we all know grief. But I
cannot standby and allow him to… to… Jared, there are so many things I wish I
could say!” The Judge sat back down with a sigh. “I’m not asking you to replace
his companion or be anyone but yourself, because I think you are more than what
you give yourself credit for, but I wonder, Jared, if I could ask of you
something.”
Jared felt the photograph burn through his robes. He wanted to look at his face
in that photograph and memorize what he would look like when he was older. The
companion really did look exactly like him, in every way possible, down to each
mole and dimple. Even the way his hair curled was reflected in that photograph.
“Yes sir,” Jared murmured, not meeting the Doctor’s eyes.
He would rather be a copy of someone than be an original of no one.
 
There was no denying the way the Doctor made him feel in between the times of
anger and shame and confusion and hurt. Underneath all of that was a magnetic
pull on Jared’s heart, a running energy that surged in his blood with each kiss
or touch. He felt like an infant that didn’t know or care that fire burned it.
These feelings were confusing in many ways to the young breeder. Breeders had
no emotions towards their Masters other than loyalty and fidelity. Why should
this Master be any different? It was clear that this Master missed his
companion--not the breeder that merely looked like his companion. But then
again, why did Jared feel anything at all? Why hadn't he been able to get
through his first litter without tears? Why couldn't he compose himself better,
like Nicky did or how Nathaniel had? 
“Please,” the Judge implored, taking Jared’s hands into his. “Don’t give up on
him. I know he has treated you in a terrible manner and I have seen to all of
that. If you feel anything for him—anything at all—would you be open to
spending more time with him and I?”
Jared wanted to point out to the Judge that even as a Master, he still didn’t
understand breeders completely; he was missing a few key aspect of a breeder’s
situation in life. A breeder could not say no. A breeder was not in a position
to say, “no thank you” or “perhaps another time.” Maybe breeders like Nicky
could do so to their Masters but those were special, previously established
relationships and boundaries. For any Master to ask a breeder something, the
breeder could not say no. Although Jared didn’t entirely mind being asked to
spend more time with these foreign Masters, he could not deny any request they
made.
These thoughts saddened him and he pushed them away quickly.
“Yes sir,” he numbly replied.
Before their conversation could or would continue, they were interrupted by the
arrival of their meal. The Judge had ordered three trays full of food and
drink. When the breeders who delivered the trays left, the Master invited Jared
to eat. They ate on the lounge, though Jared didn’t think it was appropriate,
but he followed the lead of his current Master.
The Judge ate two plates and had two large glasses of sweet peach juice. Jared
wished he had made this meal and could see the Judge eat as happily as this. In
turn, he ate a few bites of salad and fruit, then had half a cup of soup. He
drank a small glass of juice and nibbled on a piece of bread as the Judge
finished up. He didn’t want to upset his stomach any further but he also wasn’t
sure when he would be fed next, so he hoped the bread would fill him up.
He watched passively as the Judge insisted on picking up the plates and trays.
Why were things so strange whenever he was with these foreign Masters?
Why couldn’t the Jared in the photograph provide him with any answers? Why must
he be silent and accusing in his happiness, staring back at Jared? The breeder
closed his eyes for a moment and nursed his own hurt, wishing he was with Nicky
in the wagon once more.
“I have another request Jared,” the Judge spoke when Jared opened his eyes.
“And I hope this is not asking too much of you. The Doctor should be arriving
soon and I am going to ask him to do something he would have done for his
companion. I hope that I can convince him to do it, but I know he will only do
so if he knows we are alone. Can I ask you to stay hidden for that period of
time? I want you to be able to hear and see what goes on, but I can’t have him
see you. Would this be alright?”
If it had been appropriate, Jared could have laughed.
He had been stuck and locked into closets and cages and cellars for days with
that simple demand: to remain unseen. He had been chained to a post in the
garden during a thunderstorm because he’d made a poor impression on the guests
Old Master had had over that evening. He had been trained to be completely
invisible. For a Master to ask him to do so as if it offended him was odd. All
Jared wanted to do was hide anyway. Apparently his face was too haunting for
the Doctor to function properly.
A nod gave his consent and the Judge chatted on nervously about how they very
rarely stayed in inns but their household was under construction for something
or other and Jared tuned out as much as possible.
The Doctor didn’t want to purchase Jared at all; he wanted to spend company
with someone who reminded him of someone he had loved.
And Jared couldn’t entirely blame the Doctor for that. If he could, he would
spend time with his pups.
Tears threatened but Jared held them back. He stepped into a coat closet and
curled up, blankly nodding as the Judge explained to him how to see and hear
out of a few decorative holes in the door. The closet door shut and Jared took
in a deep breath. He rested his head against the nearest wall.
He pulled out the photograph and stared at the figure who was and wasn’t
himself. He found himself jealous of someone who was more alive now to the
Doctor than he had ever been.
 
An hour passed.
Occasionally, the Judge would open the closet and check on the breeder. Jared
gave him watery smiles and assured him that he was fine. It wasn’t the smallest
place Jared had ever occupied and it was relatively warm. However, the fatigue
from the day had started to settle in and Jared began to doze off. He tucked
his knees under his chin and attempted to sleep at least a little. A strange,
prickling feeling had started to nag at his belly; he blamed it on the soup.
Sleep would do him well. He figured this would be his bed tonight anyway.
There was a knock at the door to the suite just as he had started to drift off.
Jared heard the Judge’s quick footsteps pass by.
“Jen, you’re late.” The Judge spoke in an entirely different tone with the
Doctor than he had with Jared. His tone was impatient and sharp. “We said
seven, it’s almost nine.”
“I had an emergency call,” the Doctor grumbled, taking off his coat. “Someone
went into delivery.”
“Don’t throw your coat in the closet, just give it here.”
“Fine. It’s all yours.”
“In a good mood as usual, Captain?”
Jared heard the sound of a drink being poured. “Misha, give it a rest, will
you? It’s been a fucking long day and I just want my face to meet my pillow.”
“You can do that later. I want to show you something I found on one of my
excursions through the market.” The Judge walked over to a case. He had
explained to Jared earlier what the case was and contained. An instrument Jared
wasn’t familiar with was pulled out. It looked to him like a mandolin, but
larger and with different strings. It was a dark cherry red, just like the
color at Jared’s household.
“Mish…”
“Jen, don’t. Don’t push this away. Please.”
“You know I can’t.”
“Yes, you can. Try it. I had it tuned and fixed up a bit. It’s been years,
Jen.”
“And what would you have me play?!” the Doctor shouted, which caused Jared to
flinch in his hiding spot. “The song I sang to him before he fucking… god
dammit! Why do you have to do this?! Why do you have to rub it all in my face,
Misha? Don’t I seem fucking miserable enough? We come all the way here and this
is how we find him? And you want me to play you a song? No!” The glass the
Doctor had been holding is angrily thrown down onto the table. Jared couldn't
see the two Masters from this angle, which frightened him, but he paid better
attention.
“I’m not shoving anything in your face, Jen. Believe it or not I am your
friend. Your best friend. You weren’t the only one who travelled here. I
followed, I stayed, and now I’m trying to help you. Please. Just one song. Just
to see. Just one.”
“No!”
“Fine!" the Judge snapped back, his voice unusually tense. "Since you can't and
you won't, I will!”
Jared expected the two Masters to continue shouting at each other or, worse, to
begin fighting. He braced himself and held in a breath as their volume
escalated. Then something unexpected happened. He heard strumming come from the
instrument by the Judge's hands. A rapid melody played.
He let go of his breath and listened.
For a minute, the melody continued, until it was suddenly interrupted.
“Fuck you, you can’t play for shit,” the Doctor muttered. Jared could see them
a little better now that they had moved back into his view. The Doctor grabbed
the thing from the Judge and quickly turned some knobs on the top portion of
the instrument’s neck. He gave it a few experimental strums, a frown of
concentration on his face. Finished, he glared at the Judge.
“Which song?” he asked, straining to keep his voice even.
The Judge relaxed and shrugged. “You know the one.”
The Doctor nodded.
 
Jared had never heard this instrument before and he certainly had never heard a
Master sing. But even if he had heard either of those things, nothing would or
could be as remarkable as what he heard as he sat curled up in the closet.
The melody and the Doctor’s voice melded together effortlessly. His fingers
strummed expertly. He played and sang with his eyes closed, which told Jared
that this song was kept in his heart at all times. The rises and drops in his
voice were perfect.
“Come on, come on, baby don’t cry. Hush now, hush now, it will be alright. Wait
for the morning, it will be there. Hang on, hang on tight to this prayer. The
rising of the sun, burn away my sorrow. Chase away the night, and pull me to
tomorrow. Fill in every part of my heart that is hollow. That’s a prayer that
you can borrow.”
There was no other sound or movement beyond the Doctor playing and singing,
clear and deep.
As the song continued, his voice grew louder, more confident. His eyes were
kept tightly shut but Jared could tell he was lost in memories.
“Sing me, sing me a song from the start. Before, before your head won your
heart. Think back, think back now, can’t you find one? Shout it, shout it out
loud now, come on…” The Doctor’s voice became more forceful, his hands strummed
harder. “Sometimes this world feels so cold. Sometimes hope is all we have to
hold. Sometimes a prayer’s our only hope. The rising of the sun, burn away my
sorrow. Chase away the night and pull me to tomorrow.” He gave a deep sigh and
shook his head. “Fill in every part of my heart that is hollow. That’s a
prayer, that’s a prayer that you can borrow.”
Jared couldn’t help the sob that escaped his lips. He buried his face in his
hands and began to tremble.
It had been perfect. More than perfect.
 
It also pierced his heart with a thin needle and pulled tight.
The young breeder wrapped his arms around his middle and tried his best to stay
quiet. At first he had thought it similar but there was no mistaking it. That
was the song he’d sung to his belly full of pups.
Those were the hopes and wishes and love that he had for them.
No one had taught Jared that song; he’d made it up. Line by line he had pieced
it together slowly, while working in the garden or cooking meals or late at
night in his closet, both hands on his belly. He’d only gotten to sing it all
the way through a precious few times. But he’d hoped that those moments had
been enough for the pups to know the sound of his voice.
He could still feel their movements inside him; the way they kicked and pushed
and fought for room. He had prayed that their movements meant they would grow
up to be resilient and strong. That privilege would only be afforded to half of
his pups.
He remembered thinking of those lines as he had the one pup on his chest in the
cellar. Its small, wrinkled body wiggled and searched for warmth as he looked
at it in awe. The small tuft of brown hair on its head and the tiny, somewhat
squished nose were some of the first things Jared had noticed. They would be
things he would remember always.
 
“Rising of the sun, burn away my sorrow,” Jared mouthed in silence, holding
back a cry. “That’s a prayer that you can borrow.”
He barely noticed it when the closet door opened.
Both Masters looked down at him, silently crying and clutching the photograph
to his middle. 
***** Little Room *****
Chapter Summary
     Both Jared and the Doctor wake up.
Chapter Notes
     ***PLEASE READ THE TAGS.*** Remember that this is dark!fic-AU and
     this particular chapter may be very difficult for some to read.
     ***Specific warnings for this chapter include an emphasis on graphic
     violence, blood and torture, implied death of a major character, and
     general physical/emotional abuse. This is a very dark chapter, please
     proceed with caution.***
     If you can hang on with me until the next chapter, that's great. This
     gets better. I've said this to a few people: this won't end
     tragically. If you're still cheering for Jared, you'll want to stick
     around. But if this is too much for you, then I totally understand.
     But I can promise it will get better from here.
     Seriously guys. Have tissues ready. It's a bumpy ride, this chapter.
     Proceed with caution.
     **edit: first time didn't upload correctly. it's all here now. this
     is what happens when i post before bed! sorry! please reread.**
     Questions, comments, feels, kudos, etc. are all appreciated. Thank
     you for reading.
     **edit: to clarify, guys, this doesn't actually happen. you'll read
     more about it later.**
Masters had taken out their anger on Jared in many ways before.
If he had to detail them in the form of a list, he could do so with relative
ease. It was never easy to forget about the various punishments he’d gone
through. Good punishments worked that way—they taught a breeder enough that
they never truly left it behind them. He had learned to actively avoid not
thinking about certain experiences and how to push away certain thoughts or
feelings. Nicky called it survival.
However, try as he might, sometimes he couldn't hold back memories of a
particular event. Like the time he’d been in the garden, sweating and panting
with effort as he weeded, his belly round and heavy. Master had come out of
nowhere, unannounced, and started tearing into Jared’s back with a spiked whip.
For ten minutes and fifty lashes, Master punished Jared for staining one of
Nathaniel’s robes in the wash.
In the dust and dirt, blood drying in the sun, Jared could feel how mangled his
back had been left.
Though there were many, he could account for every bruise and scar on his body
and heart.
The only thing that hadn’t happened to him before happened two seconds after
the Doctor’s eyes flickered from Jared’s face to the photograph.
The breeder took a right hook to the face.
The Doctor had excellent aim and he wore a silver ring. His knuckles hit
Jared’s left eye with precision and the ring left behind a jagged cut.
A crack was heard as Jared’s head snapped back and slammed against the wall of
the closet. He had been caught completely unprepared. Not one spare moment to
block the blow, the force of it caused his nose to bleed. Blinded in the eye
that had been hit, he moaned in pain, his hands trembling as he lifted them up
to weakly prevent another strike. It was of no use. A moment later rough hands
gripped his robes and hauled him up and out of the closet. He was picked up and
thrown out onto the living room floor, the photograph ripped from his hands.
Gasping and choking, Jared tried to recover from the throw. His ribs were on
fire; he felt himself writhe from side to side.
“Jensen! Stop!”
“Where did you get this?! And where did you hear that song! Answer me!”
“Jensen!”
Jared had the wind knocked out of him as a boot collided with his stomach. The
same boot stepped on his wrist and pushed down until there was a sick cracking
sound. He felt his mouth open but no sound came out. He wished Nicky was there.
He wished Master was there. He wished he was in his bed, warm and safe and
good.
Slowly, he started slipping away from his body. It was so easy, so
uncomplicated. All he had to do was let go. And wasn’t that always his problem?
Letting go? But now it felt so easy, as easy as the boot kept kicking his ribs
and stomach.
Over and over again, his body was broken.
He gave up struggling.
Something inside him was pierced and began to bleed out. It felt strange. Like
a sack inside him was filling with blood. He couldn’t explain it really, except
that it caused his breathing to become labored and shallow.
“My god, Jensen! Stop! Please! You’re hurting him!”
“Don’t try to stop me! Get off!”
“No! You’ll kill him! Stop it, it’s him! Can’t you see?! You’re killing him all
over again!”
He guessed that at some point, the Judge had managed to drag the Doctor away
from him. Because he lay there, sprawled out, sticky with blood and on fire
with pain. He knew he’d been through worse than this. A whip was so much more
intense than a boot or a fist. In truth, Jared preferred this over the whip or
water. Old Master used to submerge him in water until Jared couldn’t draw
breath anymore. Over and over again he was shoved underwater, gripped onto by
his hair, and pulled up only when his eyes would start to roll back. Yes, that
was infinitely worse than being beaten on the floor of an inn.
So Jared let go of himself and slipped away into an unknown yet familiar
darkness. He thanked whomever was looking after him that this was his
punishment. He was grateful for the Doctor's fist and his black, hard boot.
He was grateful as he closed his right eye and let out a choked, gurgling
breath.
 
Some breeders believed in an afterlife where breeders were valued and
treasured. They were sent there if they had been good their entire lives.
Access was granted if a breeder could prove that they had been obedient to
their Masters and the government. A special place was set aside for the breeder
who could show that their hearts had been pure, that their minds had been
focused on providing for their household above anything else.
Still, there were a few breeders who didn’t believe in that kind of afterlife.
But they did revere whatever happened to a breeder after death, as some viewed
it as a relief from the lives they led.
Jared had never been sure what he believed in.
Sometimes he’d held onto the fragile hope that maybe, if he was good enough,
his afterlife would be filled with the pups he’d given birth to. That they
would crowd him with their hugs and smiles and laughter. That they would
surround him with happiness and affection and tell him how glad they were to be
with him. That he would be able to run with them, through a garden that
belonged to them all, chasing and laughing and tumbling down until they were
all breathless in the very best of ways.
He had never shared those particular hopes with anyone else. It was too
dangerous of an idea to ever admit out loud.
“Jay.”
“Baby.”
“Please. Wake up.”
“Jay, please.”
How was it possible that he was still being called another person’s
affectionate name even when he’d passed on into the afterlife?
“God, I’m so sorry Jay. I… I really fucked up this time. All the time. I wish.
I wish you… baby, I wish you were here to kick my ass. Jesus fuck… I know she
said it’d hurt but… I never expected this, Jay.”
“I’ve been a monster here. I saw you… at that asshole’s house… and I fucking
lost it. You were… I couldn’t… I still don’t… Baby c’mon, please, wake up.
Please. I won’t ever hit you again. I’m sorry, Jay. Please! God dammit, Jay,
please! Please, please, please…”
Finally, the voice faded and Jared was left alone.
He wasn’t sure if that was any better.
 
Eight hours after the first hit, Jared woke up and pitched forward as much as
he could.
He threw up all over himself, unable to move much more than a few inches.
Mewling, he closed the only eye that worked.
His throat was so dry he couldn’t speak to ask for water or for help.
Breathing hurt. Any movement hurt. The tips of his fingers hurt.
Pain latched onto his chest and refused to leave.
A familiar darkness wrapped itself around his mind and smothered all of his
thoughts.
Exhausted, he allowed the darkness to drag him down.
Down until his life seemed some cruel trick played by the moon on the stars.
“You think you flicker,” the moon sneered, “but it’s only my light reflecting
on you.”
Jared crashed and hit bottom.
 
When Jared woke up again, he didn’t feel any pain.
This is it, he thought and took a deep breath before cautiously opening his
eyes.
He knew he was dead.
He’d died on the floor of an inn, used up and forgotten.
Maybe they had buried him. Better still, maybe they’d taken his body back to
Master’s and Nicky had him buried in the clearing next to Cody and her little
boy. Then he wouldn’t be completely alone.
Without a hint of pain or discomfort, he opened his eyes and sat up slowly. He
was on a large bed, laid out naked underneath a pile of plush blankets. The
room was simple, as he liked it, and painted a fresh white. Sunlight poured in
through a slit in the drapes that covered a large bay window.
So this was it, Jared thought as he slipped out of bed. He stood up without any
problem and looked around, walking without a limp or a single spark of hurt.
Curious, he walked over to the window and pulled back a drape.
He’d been right; this little room was next to the sea.
And how lovely.
The water sparkled and the sand glistened. Jared opened the window with a bit
of effort and welcomed the ocean air. It felt cool and comforting against his
face and skin. The wind threaded through his hair with a flutter.
Jared threw his head back and laughed.
This was it.
He clapped his hands and squealed, then ran to the door, which opened easily.
He burst down a flight of stairs and into the entryway to a modest yet
luxurious cottage. What would he do first? See if there was a garden somewhere?
Try and find anyone else? Test the water?
It genuinely surprised him when he collided with another body.
A strong arm immediately wrapped around his waist and steadied him. Jared’s
eyes went wide and he gaped as he saw who was in front of him.
The Doctor.
And the Doctor was smiling, tears in his eyes.
Jared grinned and pulled the Doctor in for a kiss.
Sweet and tender, chaste but spiced with a hint of a spark, he kissed the
Doctor.
This was his afterlife; he could do as he pleased. The Doctor would not be
cruel or distant here. He would be perfect. He would have Jared as his first
breeder and he would be bred and give birth to as many children as the Doctor
wanted. Jared thought him handsome. The magnetic pull between them hadn't lied.
It was there still, stronger even, as it had never been with any other Master.
Jared could not explain it but he didn't want to. This was his private place
and he would steal kisses from whomever he wished.
Thankfully, the Doctor kissed back, his warm, soft lips hungrily pressing
against Jared’s, his tongue seeking entrance in seconds. As they continued
kissing, the Doctor kept his hands on Jared, one at his hips and the other
rubbing soothing circles on his back. Jared purred and bit the Doctor’s bottom
lip, tugging playfully. His tongue darted out and licked the spot he had been
nipping. The Doctor shivered and let out a growl that made Jared feel heat in
his belly. Neither his first nor his old Master or Master Eli had ever kissed
him. 
Breathless and both panting, they parted for a moment. Jared leaned in and
tucked himself under the Doctor’s chin, purring and wrapping himself around the
Master’s solid weight. Everything felt so real. It had to be real.
He could hear the ocean from the entryway, but more than anything he could hear
the Doctor’s heartbeat, steady and calm, without any hint of sadness or anger.
Jared pushed his nose into the Doctor’s collar and took in a deep breath. The
Doctor smelled like seaside air, spiced vanilla, and clean sweat.
“Jay, baby,” the Doctor rumbled, his voice deep and soft. “Get back in bed, you
need to rest.” That delicious, addictive drawl was still there, heavy and
unhampered. Jared curled his fingers around the light blue shirt the Doctor was
wearing.
“I feel fine,” he replied and gave another quick kiss.
“I’m sure, but you’re still healing.”
“Healing?”
“Yeah. You have to take it easy for the next few days. C’mon. I’ll sit with you
for a while.”
In a daze, Jared followed, the Doctor’s hand slipping into his. He squeezed and
the Doctor squeezed back as they walked up the stairs and back into the little
room Jared had woken up in. There were suddenly so many little things in the
room now that Jared hadn’t first noticed in his excitement. Propped up in the
corner was the strange instrument he’d seen at the inn. He remembered that.
On a plain white nightstand there was a vase full of flowers, a mix of all
kinds. They looked so fresh and happy in their place where sunlight fell on
them easily.
The Doctor led Jared over to the bed and made sure he lay on it carefully.
Jared held his arms out and the Doctor leaned in, fulfilling his silent request
for another kiss. Taking his time, the breeder placed sweet, fluttering kisses
over the freckles on the Doctor’s nose. He then bumped their foreheads together
lightly and gave a small laugh.
“What?” the Doctor asked, green eyes serious and concerned.
Jared smiled, wide and easy. He lay back in the bed. “I didn’t think dying
would be so… nice.”
The Doctor froze and gripped Jared’s shoulders. “Jay. Listen to me.”
“What? What is it?”
“You’re not dead.”
“But…”
“No. Just no. You are not dead.”
“I am, look around. Look at me.”
Something went dark in those green eyes. It made Jared shudder. “I broke so
many rules, Jay. But it doesn’t matter. I’d do it all over again.”
“I… I don’t understand.” Jared pushed himself away from the Doctor and sat up,
holding himself carefully. “Stop calling me that, please.”
“Don’t. Don’t do that,” the Doctor desperately said, sitting up also. “You’re
not dead, Jared. All of what you know before... it didn't happen the way you
think it did. You’re not dead.”
“But you beat me to death!” Jared shouted, scrambling off the bed and backing
up against the window. His chest heaved as he struggled to breathe. “You did! I
remember it! Each and every hit, the way the carpet smelled, the way my… my
stomach hurt… How? How can you look at me like that? Like you… like you know
who I am? Like you care? When you broke my wrist…” Jared touched his right
wrist but didn’t feel a thing. The ocean smelled sour now, the salt from it too
strong.
The Doctor stood up on the other side of the bed. Jared pressed himself against
the open window.
“Step away from the window, Jay. I’ll explain if you just step away from the
window.”
“No!” Jared screamed. “I was happy! I was so happy… my pups… where…”
“I don’t know, Jay, I don’t. But I’ll tell you a few things after you step over
here. Get away from the window, Jay!”
“Stop calling me that!” Jared sobbed and fell to his knees, a familiar
position. He didn’t put up a fight when the Doctor came over, knelt down, and
placed his hands on Jared’s shoulders. He merely looked into those green eyes
and saw nothing but grief and emptiness.
In a whisper, he asked the Doctor, “How could you do this to me?”
 
The Doctor leaned forward and gently licked away Jared’s tears.
Jared remained frozen.
He wanted to go back.
He wanted to go back to before all of this.
 
“Rising of the sun,” the Doctor whispered, tears falling from his closed eyes.
“It’s you, Jared. It’s really you.”
***** Dark Red *****
Chapter Summary
     The aftermath of what happened at the inn and beside the Lake. Jared
     is warned.
Chapter Notes
     Please read the tags carefully. Proceed with caution. Remember this
     is dark!fic-AU.
     There's a fundamental change in Jared in this chapter. A small
     change, but it's there. Can you spot it?
     Short chapter, with more to come. I really, really hope that this
     doesn't come off as a cop out to the previous scene. I tried my best.
     Another chapter will be up tonight, when I return from work.
     Comments, questions, feels, kudos, etc. are all appreciated. Thank
     you for reading.
Second breeders were prone to suspicious beliefs.
Maybe one day it’s the way the bread in the oven rises—wrong and twisted and
raw.
Maybe another day it’s the way the water in the wash tub turns a dark red
instead of its usual murky brown.
Or another night and the moon is shrouded in an blood orange veil—it warns
them. Blood will be spilled.
These are all taken as signs and warnings and symbols of what is yet to come.
Second breeders live in constant anticipation for what may come next; whether
it’s from their Masters or the first breeders they serve, who could know? So
they developed their own system attempting glimpses into their futures.
Desperately trying to stay at least one step ahead of the next event in their
lives they would have to endure, they paid solemn attention to these signs.
Every second breeder knew these signs. They were passed on in hushed, hurried
whispers to them as children before they were sent to an academy. And at the
academy, no teacher or older breeder ever proved these superstitions wrong. In
fact, they spread new ones to their pupils, letting them know that one could
count the tea leaves at the bottom of cups and see how many pups they would
miscarry in their lifetimes.
Pups born with their cords around their necks—that never got to cry or breathe
any air outside the breeder that carried them—was one of the worst signs. Not
only did a stillborn pup mean the breeder was themselves damaged and incapable
of delivering healthy pups, it was a warning for the breeder in the future.
Cut off.
Wrung out.
 
A nightmare before going into heat was a warning.
A death warning.
And however the breeder died in that nightmare was similar to how they would
pass away in reality. All the signs were there for Jared. The vase of flowers
had dark red roses. The case the strange instrument was in was a dark red. Even
the carpet at the inn had been a dark red.
The color of the jacket Jared wore in the photograph was the same color.
When Jared woke up, screaming and fighting against invisible restraints, he
understood what was happening. This was all his death warning.
Dark red.
Dark red.
The clearing.
The robes.
The colors of the household.
The roses in the entryway.
The roses on the grave.
The moon on the first night he met the Doctor.
 
Jared heard and felt himself groan. He curled up and shivered, old sensations
returning full force.
 
The breeder in the photograph, holding the little boy’s hand, smiling to mask
something else. Now Jared knew what Cody had been hiding. He’d dreamt his own
death warning. He had known. He had known how he would die and had done nothing
to stop it.
An older breeder who wasn’t bred while in heat could survive once. But their
bodies had to be bred. Jared was certain he was too young to survive a dry
heat. The heat nightmare, coupled with the bodies of his stillborn pups… Jared
sobbed. He cried and screamed and beat the pillows beneath him.
The Doctor.
Where was he?
“Jared!”
“Where is he?!” Jared croaked out, his voice broken. He scrambled off the bed,
falling onto the floor but quickly stumbling forward. He pitched himself into
the darkness of an unknown room.
“Jared, please!”
He ignored the voice and kept going forward. He ran into the hallway and chose
a random direction. He had to find the Doctor.
The warning thrummed throughout his body. It invaded his blood, overwhelmed
every pore. Dark red.
When he collided with a solid force of another body, he thought his nightmare
was come true. This would be the Doctor. Jared had no robes on, he was naked
and covered in sweat, but he would tell the Doctor about the photograph. If he
did anything before he died on the carpet floor underneath him, he would tell
the Doctor that he no longer felt sorry for the Master’s grief.
Everyone had grief.
Jared had oceans of grief.
But not everyone was a monster.
 
“Jared! Stop it! Stop.”
Master’s voice was a shock to him.
Jared fell on his knees and stopped struggling. He panted and wheezed,
trembling violently. What had happened? Where was he?
“You started going into heat at the inn,” he could hear Nicky’s voice,
desperate and sad. “They brought you back, Jared. You’re here. Eli, please, let
me hold him. Please.”
She made her way over and pushed Master out of the way as she was prone to do.
She knelt down, hesitated, but crushed herself against Jared. She started to
cry in long, mournful wails.
“It’s not true. Tell me it didn’t happen,” she begged as they knelt together.
“Tell me you didn’t…”
There was no way he could lie to her about this.
Because she saw it in his eyes, heard it in the rapid punches of his heart
against his chest.
He shivered as her breasts pushed against his chest, the sensation setting him
off. His thighs trembled and he arched up. His cock hung flaccid but he felt a
deep fire in his belly and his hips. It was starting. It had started. He would
need to be bred soon.
“It’s not true,” she cried, hiding her face in his shoulder.
The weight of his pup on his chest collided with the weight of a phantom boot
on his wrist. Over and over again he relived each weight and each emptiness as
his body began to burn.
Sweating, exhausted, and terrified, he passed out in the older breeder’s arms.
All he could see before he sank into yet another abyss was a dripping, smeared
dark red.
 
It was a warning.
Signs were everywhere.
***** Moonlight *****
Chapter Summary
     Jared goes through his heat at his new household and things are
     explained to him.
Chapter Notes
     Please read the tags carefully, remember this is dark!fic-AU. Some
     sexual-ish situations in this chapter regarding heats.
     Quick update before I'm off tonight. Hopefully this clears up a few
     things. I know folks were confused with the last chapter (and maybe
     still are) but that is kinda the point. Jared's POV/narration isn't
     always clear or the most reliable. Especially when he's starting his
     heat. Ahhh more explanations as we go!
     Questions, comments, feels, kudos, etc. are all appreciate. You guys
     are the best. Thank you for reading!
She slept with him that night.
In the morning, when he woke up soaked in sweat, she was there. However, unlike
any other mornings when they’d woken up together, a doll was cradled between
them. Jared ran his fingers over it with care, tears immediately welling up and
spilling over.
When she woke up, moments later, she nudged the doll into his arms and held
them both as the younger breeder sobbed into her soft, welcoming body.
Underneath the protection of quilts in his familiar bed, she purred for his
comfort.
 
Being in heat made everything feel different. He had a constant ache in his
hips and a pressure in his belly. His skin was hypersensitive and he hissed at
any touch, even Nicky’s. And while his cock remained flaccid, he felt his body
pushing against the controls placed on it. He tossed and turned in bed, where
they lay for most of the day. At times he would grind his hips down onto the
bed, seeking some relief, leaving behind damp patches of slick his body was
producing more of.
He clung to the doll when his body seemed to light with fire, when he
instinctively rolled his hips up and spread out his legs. All he could think
about—as his heart pounded in his ears—was a Master’s cock sliding in and
breeding him. His mouth watered at the thought of a Master pushing him down and
claiming him, being proud to carry his Master’s pups. He buried his face into
the doll as the thought of another litter frightened and excited him.
Maybe he could keep a pup this time.
Just one.
 
The older breeder took care of him throughout the day. She spoon fed him broth
and bread, forcing him to drink juice and water. Never leaving his side except
to refresh the cold compresses on his forehead, she stayed with him, ignoring
all her own chores and duties. She let him grind against her, which seemed to
provide a miniscule but appreciated amount of relief. Gentle kisses were given
from her to him, the doll pressed between them.
Master stayed away. She explained in whispers underneath the quilts at one
point. He didn’t want to cause Jared further frustration.
Jared didn’t ask about what would happen to him. Either Master Eli had to breed
him or his new Master would have to; it had to be done within the next week. In
any other state of mind Jared would have been more concerned about who would do
it, but at the moment he only craved release.
As the sun went down, he was able—with Nicky’s help—to get up from bed and sink
into the tub. She filled it with cool but not freezing water and joined him,
washing him all over with the same care and tenderness she’d shown when they’d
first met. She left soothing kisses on his face, nipped at his jaw, and
massaged his shoulders. When he was boneless and cooled off, she held him as
they rocked in the water.
Stepping out, dried off, dressed in the lightest robe he had and doll in hand,
Jared felt a momentary respite. His hips continued to ache but he felt other
things now—hunger and fatigue. Still, he followed her to the kitchen and knelt
on a pillow, doll cradled in his arms, as she prepared him a meal. After he’d
eaten everything she’d placed in front of him, he took her hand and tugged her
along.
Running felt good. His muscles and lungs and heart worked hard enough to
override anything else as they ran through the grounds and towards the
clearing. He made sure to hold onto doll and Nicky tightly. Their footsteps
barely made a sound as they arrived. Nicky flicked her hair back. It was cold
out, and though Jared didn’t feel it, she did. He placed an arm around her,
sharing body warmth, as they each stood before the simple grave.
It was quiet and peaceful out in the clearing. The roses had dried up but they
looked even prettier than before. Both breeders hung their heads in a
respectful silence for a moment. Jared clutched at doll and wished a prayer. He
was sure Nicky was doing the same.
They stood in the light of the moon. It was early still, but their breaths
showed in puffs as it got colder.
“Tell me,” Jared whispered. They curled up together at the foot of Cody’s
grave. “What happened to me?”
He had doll at his chest as she sighed and closed her eyes to speak.
“They had you hide in a closet so the Doctor could do something without him
noticing you." Her voice brimmed with fatigue and sadness. "When they opened
it, they thought you were asleep.” She let out a huff in frustration. “You’d
passed out. I asked what else and they said they found you hot. You had sweat
through your robes. When they couldn’t rouse you, they panicked. So of course,
they came here.”
“How?”
She opened her eyes and looked at Jared. “On horseback. A carriage would have
slowed him down.”
“Both of them came…?”
“No, just the Doctor. He had you in his arms on horseback for the entire
journey. The horse was run down by the time he got here, just before dawn. I
was… so… Jared, I thought they’d done something horrible to you. The Doctor
kept muttering on about a song and a photograph and he seemed so upset that you
knew these things or had these things or something. I thought…” She buried her
face into his chest, sharing the space with doll. “They have no idea, either of
them, what we… who we are. When I saw it was your heat and no more than that, I
was so angry at them both. Eli… he… spoke to the Doctor and… how can he be
treating and seeing breeders as patients when he can’t recognize us going into
heat? What kind of Doctor doesn’t know this?” Her voice was more forceful and
anxious now. “What was it? Now you tell me, what did you dream of? Please,
Jared, please tell me.” She cried as she begged him for the truth. “If it has
anything to do with those Masters, Jared, you have to tell Eli. They’re not
what they seem at all. No matter how far away one might come from, Doctors
anywhere are trained to know our bodies. Please, you don’t have to see them
again if you don’t want to. You only need to say…”
He interrupted her, bumping their foreheads together. “Breathe.”
With a shaky laugh, she nodded and took in several deep breaths. They huddled
closer together. He also took a deep breath and looked over at the grave before
them. Some breeders said that their bones turned into a fine powder that looked
almost like ground up crystals and glass. Others said their bones turned into
nothing, that they would be swept away instantly.
“It wasn’t about the Doctor,” he lied to her. “And it wasn’t for a very long
time.”
No more words were spoken after that. Doll was the warmest one amongst them
when they headed back.
 
Two days passed in much the same manner. He would be unable to leave his bed
during the day but feel well enough to take a bath and slip outside in the
evening. Master took his second trip to town, entrusting the household to the
breeders. Jared apologized to Nicky for having her do all his chores in
addition to her but she hushed him and asked him to knit a new dress for doll.
He worked on the dress by candlelight for two nights. It was a simple pattern
but it suited doll, which had the same black hair as Nicky. Her eyes were blue
buttons, so Jared made the dress blue to match. Somewhere in his drawer, he
found a scrap of ribbon and tied it around doll’s hair.
On the third day of his heat, Jared felt worse. He couldn’t keep anything down,
no matter how watered down the broth was or how cool the juice felt on his dry
throat. The only solution they could come up with was to insert a plug. At
first, as it pushed into him, Jared moaned with want. Nicky was careful and
went slow but he was full of slick and ready for it. His thighs trembled as it
was fully inside; and at last, the pressure subsided for the few remaining
hours of daylight.
But that night, he no longer felt relief after sundown.
If anything, the moonlight irritated him. It caused his skin to itch and feel
strained against his muscles. His body would not stop trembling or dripping
with sweat. Nicky tried to force liquids into him but he spat it all back up.
He knew, from experience, that he could survive for at least a few days—maybe
longer—without liquid or food when he was not in heat. But he was sweating out
a lot of his strength, and no matter how much he prayed to doll, it never
stopped. Nicky changed the plug every six hours but it wasn’t the same. The
older breeder was beginning to panic; Master was not yet back and she had tried
everything she knew. Finally, out of any other options, she hauled Jared over
to the tub and kept him there, replacing the water every hour, trying to get
him to cool down. He insisted that doll stay by the side of the tub, out of
danger from the water, but nearby to keep an eye on her.
The bell to the main entrance rang. Both breeders flinched.
“Should I go to the attic?” Jared asked weakly, his voice hoarse.
“No, you’ll be fine here. Whoever it is, I can push them out. Please, please
try to drink something.” With that, she left, running down the hallway to
answer the door. Jared waited anxiously, shifting around in the tub, trying to
seek some comfort. When he heard the sound of boots in the hallway, he assumed
it was Master.
Nicky stepped aside in the doorway to the bathroom and looked at Jared with sad
eyes. The Doctor stepped in.
Jared was resolute in his determination.
He stood up in the tub and made eye contact with the Doctor.
He pushed his shoulders back and stood as straight as he could, chin thrust
out. Taking a deep breath, he boldly asked, “What are you doing here?” On
purpose, he left out any marker of respect or deference to the Master in front
of him. He could not forget the weight of those boots on his body.
The Doctor seemed different. Jared noticed both smaller and more obvious
details. He had not shaved in some time, that reddish beard had grown back.
Green eyes were rimmed in red and dark circles hung under them, as if he had
not slept for a week. Even his body language had changed. He stood with his
legs closer together and his posture was weaker, less rigid. Finally, Jared
noticed that his nails were a mess; instead of being neatly clipped and
trimmed, they were roughly bitten down and torn up.
“I came to make sure you were better,” the Doctor managed to mumble, avoiding
any long term eye contact. “And to speak with you, if you are up to it.”
The breeders looked at each other. Nicky was nervous and Jared surprisingly
wasn’t.
“Do you have something that can get him to drink liquids?” Nicky blurted out.
“Eli won’t be home until tomorrow but I need Jared to drink something and keep
it down.”
Slowly, as if he were fatigued, the Doctor nodded. “I have a bag of herbs in my
pack. I could run an IV, but I… I didn’t bring those supplies with me, my
apologies. I left in a rush.”
“That’s fine. We’ll try them. Jared, ring the bell if you need me.” She gave
him a look, tossed her hair back, and left, running again to get the herbs the
Doctor had offered. She was extremely hesitant to leave him alone and he knew
she only did so out of necessity. She would rush back as soon as possible. Once
she was gone for ten seconds, Jared stepped out of the tub carefully, weak from
his heat. The Doctor stood there, looking uncomfortable. Jared ignored him and
took his time getting ready. He had no shyness about being naked in front of
the Doctor, but the Doctor seemed to mind it, blushing a bright red as he stole
glances. Jared wanted to whisper to doll that all Masters were essentially the
same.
“We can speak in a study,” Jared muttered as he put on a thin robe, tying it
simply around himself. He picked up doll and carried her with, leading the
Doctor to a room that had heavy drapes over the windows. He was glad that he’d
inserted a plug before the Doctor had arrived. He felt it shift as he sat down
on a couch facing opposite the Doctor, who promptly took his place.
Jared placed a hand on the top of doll’s head. He looked at the Doctor, waiting
for him to start. It was evening already; he could feel the pull of the moon,
threatening to hurt him through the heavy drapes.
 
The Master cleared his throat and fidgeted, wringing his hands over and over
again. Jared kept a careful watch on those hands.
“I… I cannot presume to understand you,” the Doctor started, his voice gruff
and his accent heavy. “But I would like to. If you would… please… give me the
opportunity, Jared.” 
***** Held *****
Chapter Summary
     Jared and the Doctor have a conversation and reach a shaky
     understanding of each other.
Chapter Notes
     Please read the tags carefully. Remember this is dark!fic-AU.
     Warnings in this chapter for graphic imagery of stillborn birth.
     Finally, they sit down and talk. Not everything is revealed but at
     least they're getting somewhere. Jared shows a huge amount of trust
     with that one action. And we can finally see why--on top of physical
     attraction--he is still willing to speak with the Doctor.
     Long, long way to go for these two. But a bit of hope here, yes?
     Short chapter with more to come.
     Comments, questions, etc. are all appreciated. Thank you for reading.
There were a million things Jared wanted to say to and ask the Doctor. These
were things he had rehearsed a few times in his head, told himself that one day
he would gather the courage and boldness up to say to this Master. He had a
long list of questions and demands for explanations and pleas for
clarification.
He clutched doll and tucked her under his chin, curling up on the couch he
occupied. Silence filled the study. In the end, he decided to go for the most
simple and honest fact.
“I don’t know who you are,” the young breeder stated quietly but firmly, his
voice never breaking. He looked up at the Master across from him, hazel eyes
glittering in the dimness of the room. The Doctor frowned and scrubbed at his
face with one hand. Jared noticed that he wore no silver ring on either hand.
What could that mean? He remembered a silver ring, even if it hadn't actually
happened.
With a sigh, the Doctor reached into his vest, into the breast pocket over his
heart. As always, the Doctor’s clothes were simple—a bit too simple for a
Master of his profession and station—but they suited him, just as Jared assumed
anything would. Jared monitored the Doctor’s movements carefully, as he always
did with Masters; he didn’t want to be caught unaware, especially with doll.
Not again.
“I wanted to thank you for returning this to me. I… you must’ve been trying to
do that the other day, on the street. My accusation was wrong,” he said,
shoulders hunched, holding the photograph tenderly. It seemed as precious as
stardust to the Doctor. “This is priceless to me, you know that, I guess. It’s
all I have left… of before.”
Jared only nodded his response, which the Doctor acknowledged and accepted. He
placed the photograph back into his breast pocket carefully; making sure that
it wouldn’t fold or crease.
“I know that it’s got to be confusing to you, seeing that. Shocking maybe. But
I can’t. I can’t tell you any specifics. And it’s not just you—it’s anyone.
It’s a part of a deal I made. Please, I hope you can understand that. I can’t
explain at this moment why such a thing exists and a whole lot of other shit I
know you have a right to hear, but I promise, when I can, I will.”
Although he wanted answers about the companion in the photograph, the breeder
nodded again. Master had asked him to be patient with the Doctor; he would see
to that until the end of his stay at this household.
“Thank you. I… ah…” the Doctor rubbed the back of his neck, feeling, Jared
assumed, out of place. “I am glad to see you are doing well.”
Well was hardly the way Jared would describe being in heat with no Master to
breed him. He was struggling to keep from shedding the robe over him; his skin
was so hot and he felt an itch deep underneath his muscles. His body was
beginning to reject the plug inside him. It was irritating sensitive nerves and
causing him more discomfort than relief. But he wasn’t sure the Doctor cared or
noticed.
“I look like him,” Jared murmured, keeping steady eye contact. “Is that why
you’re here?”
A moment skipped between them.
“No,” the Doctor said with a deep sigh. “I mean… partially, yes. I’d be lying
if I said no. But that’s not… all of my reasons why I’m here. I know I’ve hurt
you in comparing both of you but I… god, how do I explain this?” the Doctor
shook his head. “You’re so young, Jared. Where I come from, you’d be a child.”
“I’m not a child,” Jared snapped, trying his best not to pout. He sat up
straighter and placed doll back in his lap. “I’ve already had two heats and a
litter. I’m not a child.”
“I know, I know,” the Doctor replied gently. “I need to give you credit. It’s
just… this isn’t easy for me. And I know this can’t be easy for you. But you’re
special, Jared. I mean it. You work hard and I’ve never heard you complain.
You’re smart, a fast learner, and you make everyone feel welcome. Even me.”
A week ago, Jared would have been happier to hear this praise. Now, however, it
made him feel like a poor substitute for someone else, even if the Doctor said
otherwise.
He kept his gaze on the floor and refused to answer the Doctor’s pledges.
 
When it became clear to the Doctor that Jared was not moved by his words, he
buried his face in his hands. He looked like a man defeated. Jared wondered
what had caused the Doctor to arrive here in the middle of the evening to speak
to him like this. He remembered the Doctor harshly asking him about his time at
the academy. Or going into the brothels. He said Jared was special but that
didn’t ring true to him. It seemed to Jared that he possessed the face of
someone familiar and not much more.
This Master could not purchase him and didn't seem likely to do so even if he
could, so why were they here, speaking to one another? What did it matter that
Jared’s feelings were hurt? What did it matter that he bore a resemblance to
someone he'd never met?
“I searched everywhere for some kind of sign that that song existed here,” the
Doctor spoke solemnly. “Maybe you’d heard it somewhere else. Maybe someone had
sung it to you before or something. Anything. Because I wrote that song and
you… there’s no way… only three people knew it and there’s no way… I never
wrote it down.”
The Doctor began to tremble, hiding his face from Jared. “I’ve been… awful to
you… just as bad as them… and when you knew the words… fuck.”
Jared wondered if the Doctor was singing the words in his head at that moment.
He stood up and walked forward, up to the Doctor.
The Doctor glanced up, his green eyes wide.
 
Jared nudged doll into his hands.
He held her with care, cradling her in a way that Jared forced himself to look
away.
“Thank you,” the Doctor whispered, brushing doll’s hair back. “Why? Why do you
keep forgiving me?”
It took a moment for Jared to clear his head. Instinctively he wanted to reply
that it was his place in life to accept what Masters wanted to do or say to
him. That it was his honor as a second breeder to be able to take the pain and
take it well, with grace and ease. Jared wanted to regard this Master the way
many breeders regarded Masters in general. He wanted to take his resentment and
his pain and hold onto it forever because it was all he could ever hope to call
his own. But where would that get him? If not this Master to cause him hurt,
then it would be the next. If not now, later. Whatever happened, Jared knew his
place. All he could do was manage to survive and bring honor to any and all
households he belonged to. Wherever he could find pride, he would hold onto it.
“Because I'm not like you,” Jared whispered back, placing his fingertips on
doll’s cheek. “You don't understand that.” He took a deep breath and for a
moment, he felt clarity from his heat. "You held my pups that way."
He would always be grateful for that moment.
Even if the moment had been taken away, even if that moment should have never
existed in the first place.
Most Masters and Doctors, Jared had heard, tossed stillborn pups in the trash
or buried them in mass graves on the property to remind the second breeder of
the loss. They would dispose of the pups before the officials could get there
to save face. He’d heard one breeder cry about how her pups had been picked up
by their cords and thrown into a bag, their fragile necks snapping and their
tiny bodies landing with a thud. She’d witnessed her Master take the bag and
dump it into an open, shallow grave. Somewhere, those little bodies were part
of that soil. Even if a breeder never got to hold their pups it still hurt.
But this Doctor had wrapped them up with care, had tried his best to revive
them, even though they had slipped out of Jared blue and silent. He’d laid them
down in the bin like all the rest, never giving Jared any thought that he might
take them and hide their bodies or do anything to hurt them.
“Oh god,” the Doctor groaned and sobbed into doll. His shoulders shook with the
force of his tears. “How… how can you… how do you think of having more?”
To this, Jared had to carefully think about his response. The wrong words could
be treasonous and could cause his household—current or new—a lot of trouble. He
wasn’t sure if the Doctor understood the implication of his question. It was
all complicated and Jared didn’t know how to explain something so fundamental
in his life. He was a breeder; his duty and his honor was to breed. His first
litter carried to full term had been rough and full of pain in more ways than
physical, but he was young and had his entire life ahead of him to carry more.
It was who he was. The thought of never having a litter again frightened him
and not just because he’d be put to auction or unwanted by any Master.
Jared walked over to the door, feeling tired and needing to return to his bed.
He wasn’t sure what the Doctor would do for the rest of the night, but he was
sure he would manage. He had managed all this time.
“Maybe one day,” Jared murmured, taking doll back and opening the door, “I can
keep one.”
 
He stepped out into the hallway and looked back at the Doctor.
“Good night, Doctor.”
“…Jensen," he blurted out, breathless. "Call me Jensen, please.”
Jared nodded.
“Good night, Jensen.” 
***** Helped *****
Chapter Summary
     Jared's heat continues and help arrives.
Chapter Notes
     Please read the tags carefully before reading. Remember that this is
     dark!fic-AU. Specific warnings for this chapter for explicit sexual
     scene that includes self lubrication and a milking machine.
     Mostly description of events in this chapter. More explanations in
     the next.
     Uhh... just kinda a smutty chapter. The image of Jared enjoying the
     hell out of that machine... phew. He got to feel good during a sexual
     activity, yay!
     The Doctor is still hesitant. He's not rushing in to save the day.
     Just gotta stick around and see what his deal is.
     Questions, comments, feels, kudos, etc. are all appreciated. Thank
     you for reading!
Breeder biology was simultaneously simple and complex.
Most breeders were allowed to know the basics of how their bodies function and
what they needed. The academies were careful to teach each breeder a vague
sense of how they breed, how litters were carried, and what may happen during a
term. Every breeder knew that heats were important; the older the breeder and
the more litters they had, the less intense their heat cycles. The younger and
more inexperienced breeder, the more difficult their heats were. That was why
being bred before the age of fifteen was precarious and looked down upon; their
systems were not fully developed and carrying to term successfully was minimal.
Masters could never be faulted for breeding a breeder before their proper age.
It was always the breeder's fault, their mistake to burden. Breeders like
Jared, who had strayed from their training, were seen as damaged goods.
For Jared to endure almost a week without being bred, it was physically and
emotionally taxing.
Jared had been damaged for a long time.
 
It took two days for Master to arrive.
In the worst of his heat, Jared spent the entire time in his bed or in the
bathtub. Nicky could not touch him without setting him off. He was constantly
sweating and couldn’t keep liquid or food down, despite the herbs the Doctor
had provided and Nicky’s best attempts.
Being in heat without being bred felt like an eternity.
All Jared could think about was being taken and bred and filled by a Master who
understood the relief he sought and needed. No plug helped anymore and the
Doctor hadn’t returned doll, which Jared did and didn’t understand. He just
hoped—in his moments of lucidity—that doll was being well taken care of and
that she wasn’t lonely.
“Oh,” Jared moaned, twisting and turning in his bed, arching his hips up. Slick
was heavy between his legs and the smell of his heat was everywhere. His
nipples were tightly peaked, turned a bright pink color and unusually
sensitive. His cock strained against the control, half hard and swollen. Even
though he knew that Nicky was keeping the windows in his room open and the tub
filled with ice cold water, he couldn’t escape the oppressive feeling of
burning up.
Any contact with the light—sun or moon—hurt him further. He knew exactly when
the moon rose and it pulled him towards it, like a magnet. He couldn’t remember
the explanation for it, his mind too preoccupied with his heat.
At last, as he lay on his bed, Master entered the room. The first thing Jared
noticed was that Master had on thick leather gloves. They unpleasantly reminded
him of the kennels. The next thing Jared managed to notice was that the Doctor
was with Master. The two Masters walked over to Jared’s bedside and he could
not see Nicky anywhere.
“Master,” Jared moaned, shutting his eyes and feeling tears fall down his
flushed face. “M-master please. Please, it hurts. Master?” Reopening his eyes,
he panicked as a blanket came down on him. Master’s touch burned through the
gloves and the blanket. He struggled in panic and pain. He could not see or
hear Nicky. In one swift movement, Master picked him up and held Jared in his
arms, quickly moving through the household. Jared screamed but could not form
words, squirming in Master’s firm hold.
Part of him wanted to grind into Master’s touch and the other part wanted to
escape it.
He heard two pairs of boots stomping at a fast pace through the grounds. The
pull of the moon, once he was outside, caused Jared to let out a sob. He wasn’t
completely sure if he was begging Master to reconsider or not.
When Jared was placed on a hard surface, he was sure it was the bed of a wagon,
ready to be taken to town and left at the kennels.
Terror caused him to cry out for doll.
Master held him belly down on the surface, pressed Jared’s face onto it and
forced his hips up. The Doctor’s hands pushed Jared’s legs open. Jared
whimpered, the blanket still over his head, and braced himself, his thighs
trembling. Even if it would be painful he wanted to be bred. He needed it. He
could make it good for whoever pushed inside him before they took him back to
the kennels. And if they could just let him have doll, he wouldn’t struggle.
Leather cuffs were tied tightly on his ankles and wrists, holding him down in
that position. Jared trembled with dread and anticipation. Bred. Kennels. Bred.
Kennels. Bred. Kennels.
He shrieked when the blanket was taken off and a collar slipped around his
neck.
“Easy, Jared, take it easy,” Master’s firm voice shouted through his screaming.
“Stay still or you’ll hurt yourself.” Master tugged the collar enough to
silence Jared but not so hard that he caused pain.
Panting, Jared’s eyes couldn’t focus. It was bright, wherever they’d taken him.
He felt slick run down his thighs and his entrance flutter open and shut. He
turned his head what little he could and his surroundings began to clear up.
The stables? But why?
“You’ll be able to set up an IV shortly,” Master said to the Doctor. “Figure
he’ll let you in a moment.”
There were unfamiliar sounds in the background, like something being built or
put together. Master kept one hand on Jared’s back. The breeder moaned and
pushed his hips back, rocking as much as the restraints allowed. His body
temperature soared and once again sweat was dripping down his forehead.  The
Doctor appeared at his side, on the left, and tied a piece of cloth around
Jared’s upper arm. After several pricks with a needle, which left Jared
keening. Confused and disoriented by the touches and pinches of pain, the
Doctor stopped, placing his instruments down on the table.
“He’s too dehydrated, Eli. I can’t get a vein without risking a blowout.”
“He’ll be fine.”
“No, he won’t,” the Doctor muttered. “His recovery time is way down, he’ll
bleed out. He needs liquids.”
Jared heard Master sigh and felt his hand leave. Jared pleaded for doll. A hand
gripped his hair and pulled his head backward.
“Don’t struggle, it’ll only make things worse,” Master commanded, looking down
at Jared. He seemed tired but Jared couldn’t completely tell. He only wanted
Master to breed him. And then he would be good. He’d be good for as long as
Master would allow him. If only he could express to Master how proud he would
be to carry his litter.
“Get the water. I’ll hold his nose.”
“This… this is unnecessary!”
“Doctor, do you have any other suggestions?! This will hurt less than his
current condition so I suggest you listen and do as I tell you. I know his
limits, it’d do you well to pay attention! Your education on a breeder's heat
is the only reason I have allowed your assistance. Now,” Master shouted and
pinched Jared’s nose. The breeder tried his best to follow the command he’d
been given, going completely rigid. “Pour the water!”
The instant water hit his mouth Jared couldn’t control his next movements. He
bucked and strained against the straps, choking and sputtering. In between
coughs he was gasping and writhing, trying desperately to escape the water and
the touch of both Masters.
Master held Jared’s nose closed and forced his jaw open as the Doctor poured
cool water into Jared’s mouth via a plastic tube. Jared managed to spit some of
it out but ended up biting his own tongue. Master slapped him once, hard and
across the face.
“Jared!” Master yelled, pulling on his hair. “I can’t help you if you don’t
calm down and drink! Doctor, try the IV now.”
“This is too god damned much!” the Doctor started but was soon interrupted.
“I’ve done this dozens of times, now, get to it or I’ll do it myself! Jared,
stay still!”
The piece of cloth was tied onto his upper arm again and the Doctor prepared a
needle. Jared couldn’t see much of what was going on; water and tears clouded
his vision. He felt a needle stick and heard the Doctor swear but that was it.
“Doll…please… doll…” Jared whined, wriggling in the straps. “Please? Doll?”
“When we’re set up you can have the doll,” Master replied in an even voice.
“Will you be good until then, Jared? Then you can have doll.”
“Doll,” Jared cried, scrunching his face up. “Doll!”
“Shh… in a moment, Jared.” The sounds of something being put together returned.
The Doctor fiddled with something round and plastic looking on a metal stick.
Jared panicked again.
“Doll!” he screamed and twisted violently. “Doll! Doll! Doll!”
“Don’t hit him!” the Doctor gasped.
“He needs to stay still!”
“Yeah, I fucking knowthat! But don’t hit him!”
“Then you take care of him! I’m nearly done. He’ll be fine once the machine
starts.”
Without any warning, the Doctor’s hands were cradling Jared’s face, forcing
them to make eye contact. Jared pouted and muttered a weak, “…doll…” The Doctor
nodded and ran a thumb over the breeder’s bottom lip, swiping away a small
amount of blood from the bite on his tongue. Jared continued to cry as the
Doctor played with his hair and whispered that it would be over soon. They were
trying to help him. He would feel better in a few minutes. He had to let them
work and he had to be good to see doll.
“She’s been very good,” the Doctor whispered, pressing their foreheads
together. “But she misses you. Do you miss her?”
“Y-yes,” Jared blurted out with a whine. “Breed me, please, please,
pleaseMaster, I’ll be good. Please? So good. Please?”
Jared missed the sad look in the Doctor’s eyes, who replied, in a steady voice,
“Your new Master doesn’t want you bred right now. So we’re doing the best we
can. You just have to be good. Be good for doll.”
“No,” the breeder wailed. “Need it. Please. I’m good. I promise. Oh…”
His cries were stopped when he felt something blunt press against his entrance.
He shut his eyes and put his head down on the table, breathing in deeply. The
Doctor kept one hand in Jared’s hair and the other on his shoulder. Jared
gasped, digging his nails into the table, pushing his hips back. The
object—somewhat warm but distinctly plastic—pushed in without any resistance.
It was large and filled him with its own pressure, alleviating the burden that
had settled in Jared’s hips.
 
The breeder let out a sigh, then moaned and rolled his hips backwards. The
object pushed in all the way, squelching from the slick that was present.
“You look horrified.”
“…I am.”
“It’s this or let him waste away.”
“I can’t… I can’t watch.”
“You should. Because this is the nature of his being. He won’t ever stop having
heats. The sooner you get used to a breeder’s body, the sooner you can begin to
learn. It’s not painful for him.”
“It’s fucking barbaric!”
“What you think about it doesn’t matter! He is what and who he is!”
"You... you didn't even... prep him!"
"How thick in the head are you, Doctor? What do you think slick is for? His
body is made for this--he is made for this. All that matters is what we make of
it. Your ignorance has made nothing but pain!"
The argument between the two Masters went back and forth above him. Jared
closed his eyes and opened his mouth for another moan as he shifted his hips
into a slightly better angle. His hair was plastered on his forehead but at
last, he felt relief. The object started moving inside him, thrusting in and
out slowly at first and picking up a fast pace. Jared keened and threw his head
back in pleasure.
Then something odd happened.
He felt a snap in his hips.
He jerked and his movements faltered. His cock was hard. And he could feel it.
“Oh! Oh! Master!” Jared yipped and started pushing back against the object then
trying to grind his cock forward into the table. “Ooh!” He maneuvered himself
to look down at his cock. He was fascinated by it as it slapped against his
belly, thick and red, bloated with a sense of pleasure he’d only felt fractions
of before. It was addictive.
“Easy now,” Master soothed, placing a hand on the small of Jared’s back.
“Behave, Jared.”
“Yes! Yes, Master, yes! More, oh, more…”
The leather straps on his hands were removed. He immediately sat up and began
to ride the object, moving in elegant thrusts and sliding up and down,
marveling at his newly awakened cock. Grunting and panting, he kept tossing his
head back and gripped onto the table. The object pushed forward, the deepest it
could, and Jared gasped. He felt his the muscles in his thighs clench with
effort.
Staying buried deep, the object began to vibrate against a spot inside the
breeder that had never been touched before. One more string in his hips snapped
and Jared lost it. His vision whited out for a few moments and he reached out
with his arms for support.
The Doctor held him up as he bobbed up and down, grinding his cock into the
Doctor’s shirt.
“S-something…” Jared gasped. “… hurts…”
“It’s an orgasm, Jared,” Master said, standing beside the Doctor. “It won’t
hurt.”
“Feels… uhn… no… no… no…”
“It’s alright. Just let it happen.”
"No! It's... it's wrong!" 
Jared clung to the Doctor and trembled all over. He let out a long moan when
the object vibrated at its fastest setting. Something was said from Master to
the Doctor and then he felt a warm, large hand wrap around his cock and tug.
Jared hiccupped and shut his eyes. He felt a heaviness form in his balls and
push from the base of his cock to the tip. A sharp sensation struck him at the
base of his spine. It felt like he was being milked but it was so different.
The hand on his cock kept pulling and twisting and Jared felt himself reach a
point from which there was no return.
He felt his cock jerk and twitch. Then he felt the first spurt of milk gush
out. At least he assumed it was milk. What else could it be? He rode a wave of
relief and bliss. His entire body vibrated with gratification, down to every
last fingertip. Over and over again, he shot all over the Doctor’s shirt,
twisting his hips as he did so, trying to feel more of the object over that
mysterious spot. He screamed himself hoarse, calling out his high.
Finally, Jared felt himself wrung out.
He was left shaking, cold, and exhausted, but he felt so much better.
The object stopped vibrating and remained inside him. Master pat Jared’s head.
“Best separate before he notices the mess on your shirt and fusses about it,”
Master said to the Doctor. Jared heard their conversation but was too lost in
his own world to understand it in relation to him.
“What… what is that?”
“It’s a milking machine. I modified it to help a breeder through a heat. I
don’t breed the ones I bring here. So if they go into heat, I hook them up.
This was his first time with such a machine. I’m surprised. His previous Master
seemed like the sort to do such a thing.”
“I… what? Milking machine?”
“You really don’t know shit, do you, Doctor?”
“No and this just… it just keeps… whatever. Tell me more.”
“Not much to tell. I allowed him to have an orgasm. He deserved it, or at least
Nicky convinced me he did.”
“Is this…?”
“A combination of milk and their own kind of come. Milk is produced even when
they are not carrying litters. The quantity is excessive right now since he is
young. Jared, I’m going to take out the plug and put in a smaller one
now.” Jared felt Master’s hands—rough but careful—and purred when his ass was
massaged. He barely felt the exchange of plugs and mewled in thanks as a
soothing salve was rubbed over his entrance. The Masters continued to speak as
Jared dozed off, drained from the past few days and tonight.
“He... I forced him to tell me how he... why he's so young and…”
“Thirteen is not young for a breeder. I’m sure he’s told you that himself. The
more you treat him or any breeder like a child, the more you do them a
dishonor. Whatever Master bred him prematurely did so incorrectly, but I assure
you, Doctor, viewing him as a child will help no one. We’ll turn him over to
Nicky for the night.”
“Can I…?”
“No. It’s best she take him tonight.”
“Then, tomorrow?”
“Let him rest a few days. He was hysterical tonight and I am partially to
blame. I could not end my business sooner in Meridian and made him wait longer
than necessary. Jared, I’m giving you a piece of chocolate now for your good
behavior. You did well.”
Master slipped a piece that was larger than usual into Jared’s mouth. Jared
sucked on it until it melted, boneless and purring. Master pet his head again,
which felt wonderful. His touch was soothing now.
“What about the moon?”
“Not all answers must be given tonight, Doctor. I’m sure you’re tired as well.”
“Can I give him this?”
“Fine,” Master replied with a heavy sigh. “But I’ve spoken to Nicky already
about it. He can’t fixate on an object, especially a child’s thing. It won’t
help him in the long run. If it’s ever taken away it’ll devastate him, as she's
told me it has before. I don’t want to see it in his hands for much longer
after this. He’s capable of surviving without it. Go on. I’ll clean up and you
can take him back. Meet me in his room. Don’t linger, it’s not good for him to
be cold.”
The breeder heard Master go back to the machine the object had been placed on.
His thighs and stomach were wiped down with a wet towel, and then his ankles
were freed. Jared lay on his side, eyes closed, breathing in and out steadily.
 
After a minute, he felt something nudged into his arms. When he drowsily opened
his eyes, he found doll looking up at him. She had a new ribbon in her hair. He
nuzzed her and curled up.
“…Jared?”
He looked up somewhat sluggishly. The Doctor looked just as tired as Jared
felt. He’d taken off his shirt, leaving a plain undershirt on. Jared noticed
that the Doctor had freckles on his shoulders. He tucked that information away
for another time, when he was more awake.
“Are you… are you okay?” his voice was filled with concern as he asked,
nervously rubbing the back of his neck.
Puzzled but sleepy, Jared simply nodded. When a blanket was placed over his
shoulders, he was comforted this time instead of afraid. The Doctor continued
to look at him, as if he were trying to solve a mystery. A moment passed and
the Doctor frowned, shook his head, and turned away.
Jared fought the urge to sleep and reached out for the Master.
When that did not get his attention, Jared used the last amount of his
strength, giving a soft plea.
“J-Jensen?”
Immediately, the Doctor turned back. His eyes were watery. But he managed to
give the breeder a weak, crooked smile. The crinkles around his eyes still
showed.
“Yeah, Jared?”
“Stay?” Jared boldly asked. He had no right to ask anything of a Master,
especially not one who had just assisted his Master. But it felt right to
Jared, despite his lack of energy.
“Yeah buddy. I’ll stay.” The Doctor placed a hand over Jared’s forehead,
looking down. “Sleep now, okay? Been a rough night.”
“Yes, sir…” Jared closed his eyes and sank into an easy, restful sleep. He was
vaguely aware that someone was picking him up and taking him back to the
household.
He knew it was the Doctor when he heard a barely audible murmur.
“I missed you so much.”
***** Different *****
Chapter Summary
     The evening wraps up for Jared, who experiences something new and
     something familiar.
Chapter Notes
     Remember to read tags and keep in mind that this is dark!fic-AU.
     So tired guys. Been kinda sick and work has been stressful. Sorry for
     a less than stellar chapter. I'll make it up somehow.
     Questions, comments, kudos, feels, etc. are all appreciated. You guys
     make my day. I think of y'all throughout the day and when I'm writing
     on my lunch break. Thank you for reading.
     ***EDIT: Of course, another night where I'm dead tired and I forget
     to copy/paste the entire chapter. It's fixed now. Please reread so
     you don't miss anything. Sorry about that. Uggggghhhh.****
A week passe with Master insisting that Jared be given plenty of time to rest
from his heat.
The young breeder spent most of that week doing lighter chores and curling up
by Master’s feet in the evenings, dozing off to stories about faraway places
and brave breeders who loyally accompanied their Masters. His favorite
story—which he often asked Master to read—involved a Master and a breeder
journeying to a desert seeking hidden treasure. Faced with all kinds of
obstacles and challenges, the breeder never gave up, never failed her Master.
She found water because she was clever and resourceful. When they got lost, she
guided them by using the stars and the moon.
The treasure turned out to be an oasis, not gold or silver at all. There was a
waterfall in its center, surrounded by lush gardens and an orchard full of
sweet, ripe fruit. The pair lived out the rest of their days, happy and in the
sun, hidden in their own private piece of the world.
Every time Master read that story, Jared dreamed easily of exploring deserts
around the world, searching for an oasis to share.
Without any incident, the week passed and the seasons continued to change.
Although Master did allow Jared to go outside for short periods of time, it was
becoming too cold for any frequent outings. The pantries and cellars were
stocked with enough to get them through the next two months or whenever Master
would be able to travel the roads without difficulty. It hadn’t snowed much
last winter—something Jared had been quite thankful for as he’d spent many
nights outside—but this year Master predicted they would not see the same
weather.
On a gray, cloudy day, the Doctor arrived at the household, bundled up in
layers. Master invited him to spend the night, to save him a long journey back
at the end of the evening, and he accepted. Jared tucked away the Doctor’s coat
and went to help Nicky with dinner as the Masters carried on conversation about
business in Meridian in a nearby study. Jared was anxious and excited; he
didn’t remember much of his heat but he knew that the Doctor had helped. He
only hoped that he didn’t make too much of a spectacle of himself in that time.
Dinner went much smoother than any other time before, partially because the
Doctor seemed more at ease at Master’s table. Conversation stuck to the meal,
the weather, and horses. Nicky glanced over at Jared a few times during the
course of the evening but he couldn’t decipher her looks. They would speak
later.
The Doctor asked Jared for his company after dinner. Jared followed the Doctor
to the same study they had occupied before. He waited patiently, sitting on a
lounge, as the Doctor dug out his chess set.
This time Jared won all three games. He was hesitant at some points, still
afraid to win against a Master, but managed. Refreshed by the end of his heat,
Jared had kept doll in his room for most of the time that week. However, he
brought her out to show the Doctor. He’d managed to sew together a few scraps
of leftover quilting patches for a new dress that matched her new ribbon.
Admiring the dress, the Doctor looked at her with great care. He noticed every
detail, even the two buttons Nicky had given Jared to sew on. This amount of
attention made Jared feel proud. Of all the things the Doctor could be looking
at, he chose to spend his time admiring the work of the young breeder. Jared
accepted her back and sat doll beside him. The Doctor looked away, towards the
window.
“Jared, may I ask you a question?” he asked, still not making eye contact.
“Of course,” Jared replied softly. “Sir,” he added hesitantly, unsure of what
the Doctor expected of him.
His eyes were misted over again. He wore the same simple, brown vest Jared
usually saw him in, which meant that the photograph was undoubtedly in his
breast pocket. The breeder wondered how often the Doctor took it out and looked
at it.
“How often do you go into heat?” The lull of the Doctor’s accent was enjoyable
still, despite the question.
Jared took a moment to think. “Uh… so far sir, I have heats every six months.
But… I could… it changes. A Master could put me into heat if they needed me to
be.”
“Could they also shut it off?”
That question frightened Jared. The Doctor might as well have asked if Jared
knew about heat suppressants. “No sir. I have to be bred. Master told me he
used a machine this time but… Nicky says…” he fidgeted in his place on the
lounge. “Next heat I will need a Master.”
With a heavy sigh, the Doctor closed his eyes and cradled his head in his
hands, as Jared had seen him do before. “And you want to be bred? You want to
have more… pups?”
It seemed like every question was more alarming than the last. Jared tried to
make himself appear smaller. What was he doing wrong to deserve these
questions? Had he done something to make the Masters think that he didn’t want
to fulfill his duties? “I… yes. Of course. I do.”
“Beyond the reason you gave before,” the Doctor said, this time making eye
contact, “why do you want more pups?”
“It’s my duty sir,” Jared blurted out, tears forming. “An honor. It’s who I
am.”
“Easy,” the Doctor soothed. He reached over and cautiously placed a hand on
Jared’s knee. “You haven’t done anything wrong. I’m just asking. If someone
offered you the opportunity to never have pups again, would you take it? Answer
me honestly, Jared. There are no consequences whatever you answer.”
This question went too far.
Jared dropped down onto his knees and pressed his forehead onto the floor at
the Doctor’s feet.
“No!” Jared shouted desperately. “I would never! I… I… I want another litter. I
always want pups. Even if they leave me, I still want to have them. Please,
sir, I don’t… I don’t understand.”
“Hey, that’s okay, Jared…” The Doctor knelt down and gently pushed Jared to a
sitting position. “We’re having a conversation. Just talking. That’s all. I
apologize for upsetting you.” He had them each sit back on their lounges as
they had been before. “Well… that’s kinda enough of that conversation anyway.
Uh… another game?”
The board was reset and Jared nodded. He clutched at doll for the next game.
He held her at his belly.
 
That night went very differently from their previous stay together.
There were no kisses, no touches, and Jared did not spend the night in the
Doctor’s bed. He wasn’t sure how to feel about those things. He thought about
them over and over as he lay in bed, trying to sleep. Had the Doctor lost
physical interest in Jared? Was he too skinny? Jared sat up and walked over to
the bathroom, where he examined himself in the mirror.
True that his ribs did show, slightly. He was an inch taller but he was still
shorter than all the Masters he had regular contact with. There were deep scars
that wound and twisted all over his body—reminders of his indiscretions and
punishments—but most had turned white. Tiny moles dotted his skin in various
places but he didn’t think they were too noticeable. He turned around and
examined his backside. His hips were growing wider as he aged to accommodate
larger litters, but that only made his curves softer and rounder. He thought
that was appealing to Masters. But maybe the Doctor preferred breeders that
were leaner and had more muscle?
Jared flexed an arm and watched the muscles bunch under his skin. He was
strong; he could lift bins full of vegetables and such. But most of his body
was kept smooth and curvy; it would stay that way no matter what his age.
With a trained eye, he examined himself over and over again.
Too tall, too awkward, too skinny, too pale.
What kind of breeder or companion did the Doctor seem to like? The Jared in the
photograph, although they looked nearly identical, did have several
differences. The Doctor’s companion in the photograph was a good four or five
inches taller than the Doctor himself. And while Jared was taller than many
breeders, he wasn’t sure how tall he would eventually become, especially after
he hit maturity. Many breeders were kept shorter than their Masters as a sign
of respect; would Jared’s new Master insist that he stop growing? Was there
some kind of control on his chip that did such a thing?
The Jared in the photograph—as Jared remembered him—had much more muscle,
noticeable even under the coat he was wearing. He was broader as well as taller
than the Doctor. Jared was as a breeder should be: slim, curvy, and soft. He
was not done growing but who knew what he would look like in two years’ time?
How could he fix what he did not know or control?
Perhaps it was his face. Gently, he touched his cheeks and traced the bridge of
his nose.
“You’re beautiful.” The voice of the older breeder caused Jared to flinch in
surprise. He turned and saw Nicky standing in the doorway of the bathroom,
naked as he was. She must have slipped from her bed in the same restless
manner. Her eyes shone with another emotion he could not translate.
He had no idea how to reply to her statement. He only sighed and turned away,
back to the accusing mirror. She moved closer and wrapped her arms around him,
pulling them in the same closeness as ever.
“There’s nothing you need to or should feel the need to change for him.”
“I can’t help but think so,” Jared replied honestly, looking at the both of
them in the mirror. He would always remember her face. “You’re different.”
She gave a sad smile and closed her eyes, resting her chin on his shoulder.
“I’m carrying a litter.”
It was incredible to Jared the amount of emotions he felt at the announcement.
He could not process them all. This would be Nicky’s first litter since the
death of the only pup she had been allowed to keep. He wondered…
“He said no,” she whispered, as if reading his mind. “Not this time.”
“I’m sorry,” Jared whispered back and twisted so that he held her against his
chest. He wanted to say more, to tell her everything he felt in understanding,
but words felt inadequate. When tears on her pretty face appeared, he bent down
and licked them away, offering a few, low, comforting purrs. She let out a
small laugh then a sob and clung to him in the same way he had done to her so
many times before.
“I’m so happy and so…” she sputtered, hiding her face. “So much else.”
“I wish I could be here for you through all of it.” That was the plain and
simple truth. A term could last from six to nine months; he would see her
through one of them. He had one month left at this household before the New
Year arrived and his new Master completed their purchase.
“Oh… don’t make me cry more than I already am,” she murmured and gave him a
kiss. “Just think of it this way. You won’t be here to see me become as large
as a lounge chair.”
“I don’t miss that part,” Jared laughed softly. “My back hurt so much.”
“I think you’ll be hard pressed to find a breeder who misses that part of it.
Though I am looking forward to… well. Enough of that. Did the good Doctor say
something to make you question your appearance? Because I’ll have you know, two
of the most gorgeous breeders in the district reside in this household and any
other statement is incorrect.” She resumed her usual easy tone with him and
turned the tub on. When it was full of hot, bubbly water, she slid in. Jared
followed and was promptly pressed against the wall. He felt her cock—hard and
erect—push between his legs at his own.
Although he wanted to ask questions, he refrained from doing so. He kept his
own kisses insistent and hungry against hers. Eagerly they licked into each
other, the water lapping around them. When she possessively bit down on his
lower lip he groaned and arched towards her. Slick and heavy, her breasts
pushed on his chest. Jared felt an overwhelming need to kiss her all over in
appreciation.
At this point, with that emotion, he pulled back. “What are we doing?” he asked
breathlessly, his hands on her hips.
“Nothing you don’t want to do,” she replied easily, her hands in his hair. “He
left it off. I’m…” For all the times that she could carry on a conversation
without any aid or talk about any subject, she could not explain this to Jared.
And though he felt much the same way, he knew that any action between breeders
beyond comforting rubbing or licking was considered punishable. There was no
reproduction when breeders played this way, no benefit to the government. Any
Master would be—should be—angry. But Jared didn’t think Master would mind or
care. Or maybe his head was so clouded with everything else that he couldn’t
think properly.
“Okay,” he whispered and opened up his legs, allowing her to slot herself in.
She let out a deep moan and trembled all over.
For a while, they did nothing more than kiss and grind against each other in
the water, things they had done before, though with less intensity. Despite her
best attempts, she could not get Jared hard. His controls had been left on. She
continued to try and he ended up pushing her hand away.
“Hurts,” was all he said, panting slightly.
“Sorry,” she said back, kissing him again, trailing nips from his mouth up his
jawline to the spot behind his ear. “I’m taking and I… I’m sorry.”
“I’m giving. I don’t mind.” After all, she had convinced Master to allow him an
orgasm last week during his heat. She never made him feel like he owed her
anything in return for the things she did. She seemed hesitant but a last nudge
from him in the form of a wetter, deeper kiss, changed her mind.
To avoid causing him any further discomfort, she stroked herself as they
kissed. When he heard and felt a hitch in her breath, he pushed her hand away
and took over. This was something entirely different than anything he’d ever
done. He wasn’t servicing a Master or being bred. He was giving someone
pleasure for the sake of pleasure. Did this make him selfish? Was it so wrong
for two breeders to comfort themselves this way? After all, he mused, kissing
her neck, he knew every sensitive place on her and how she would react. He
thought those were good things, things that made them close.
And he knew that Master was familiar with her—the way Nicky and Master looked
at each other fondly never changed in the time Jared had been with them—but
this was still different. It was something outside of everything he knew or had
learned.
“I’m… I’m close…” she hiccupped and kept her hips away from his, though she
continued thrusting into his hand. “I can’t. Oh… I can’t without…” she gasped
her frustration and started to push her hips forward faster. A minute later,
she groaned and jerked away from him. She angrily swam to the edge of the tub
and opened a hidden box. Jared waited, feeling colder in the water. When she
returned, she was pushing a plug inside her, moaning and tossing her head back.
Situated, she pulled him in for a rough kiss and grabbed his hand to place it
back on her cock.
She couldn’t come without the plug. Jared hadn’t known that. He hadn’t expected
to be able to come at all. It certainly hadn’t mattered to anyone before
whether or not Jared came.
“Ah, ah, yes, oh… oh!” Nicky shut her eyes tightly and her pink, plush mouth
formed into a circle. Jared pumped her as fast as he could, using the same
techniques for her as he would any Master. A few seconds later and her cock was
twitching and she was moaning against his shoulder. Water slushed out of the
tub and Jared’s hand was sticky by the end of her orgasm. He held her as she
trembled and panted in the aftermath. When her breathing steadied out, he
nuzzed her and she kissed him sweetly.
The water was cold and he was ready to drift off into sleep, but he was
comfortable.
 
Both breeders nearly screamed when they heard the sound of someone clearing
their throat.
They looked over and there was the Doctor, standing in the doorway. He looked
angry but his face was also flushed red. The breeders scrambled to get out of
the tub; Nicky was out first and handed Jared a towel.
“How long were you there?” Nicky demanded to know, her voice unsteady and
unsure.
“Long enough,” the Doctor muttered, looking down at the floor. Jared hurriedly
dried himself off, trying not to hyperventilate.
“These are our private quarters. What business do you have spying in on us?
What could be so important that you had to violate our sense of privacy?
Explain yourself!”
“Your Master!” the Doctor blurted out, this time looking at her and then at
Jared. “He sent me to alert the both of you, since you didn’t hear or respond
to the bell.” He crossed his arms over his chest in defense, the blush on his
face increasing. “There are visitors and not the welcomed kind, so we’re all to
go up to the attic. Eli said you’d show the way.”
“Who?!” Nicky gasped. “Who is it? Jared!” She turned to the younger breeder.
“Hurry up, get dressed. No, a heavier robe,” she ordered him when he went to
pick up a light one. “It gets colder up there. I need to speak to Eli. You
remember the way to the attic, don’t you? Go up there with the… the Doctor and
I’ll join you in a moment. Please.” In a rush, she tugged on her robe and ran
out of the room, her footsteps sounding on the floor as they did when she was
in too much of a hurry to put on her slippers.
Left alone with the Doctor, Jared felt exposed. He hurried past the Master and
went into his room to retrieve a heavier robe from his drawer.
“I… I didn’t mean to spy,” the Doctor mumbled, standing a good distance from
Jared. “I’ve never seen two breeders together.”
“Not together,” Jared managed to reply as he searched for a heavier robe.
“It’s… different.”
The Doctor nodded. Something in his demeanor changed. “I get it. You don’t have
to look so frightened. I won’t say anything. My apologies for intruding on your
privacy.”
“Thank you sir,” the breeder said and finally put on a robe. The Doctor
extended a hand out to him, which he hesitantly took. Standing, they looked at
each other for a moment before Jared turned away. “This way to the attic.” He
grabbed doll from her place on his nightstand and held her tight as they made
their way through hallway after hallway.
After a silent journey up the stairs and through the crawl space into the
attic, they settled in by the metal shell to the sitting room. Jared picked one
up but heard nothing. This meant that either the shell that was hidden in the
sitting room had been disconnected or no one was in within hearing range. He
found that odd because Master kept all visitors in the sitting room. He looked
at the Doctor for some kind of explanation.
“It’s your old Master,” the Doctor grumbled, seemingly upset at the mention.
“Arrived here in the middle of the night with some kind of demand to see you
and… well.” The Doctor cleared his throat and sat up straighter. They were both
sitting on the floor. “Just a bunch of dramatics, anyway. Eli says he’s had
this happen a few times before with other Masters. He’ll handle it.”
Silence filled the attic. Jared found that despite his heavy robe, he was still
cold. He huddled in on himself, attempting to get warmer. Doll felt warm
herself but Jared was shivering.
It surprised him when the Doctor put an arm around Jared’s shoulders and simply
pulled them close together.
Neither of them spoke for a few minutes.
Jared focused on breathing, careful not to breathe too loudly. He could not
help but notice that the Doctor had begun to look at him differently. Instead
of focusing on Jared's eyes, he caught the Doctor's green eyes take glances at
his mouth or towards his hips. The Doctor cleared his throat and tugged at the
collar of his shirt. Jared couldn't interpret what those gestures meant. Should
he be doing something? 
Just as both of them were going to speak—Jared was going to thank the Doctor
for the warning and ask if he needed anything—an emergency bell rang. The attic
had a similar system of bells as Jared’s room did—two bells hung near the
primary shell. Nicky had explained to him the code of rings. One ring meant
that it was safe to come down. Three rings meant he should hide. Five meant he
should evacuate at soon as possible.
The bell jingled three times in rapid succession.
“I have to hide,” Jared whispered to the Doctor.
“Should I as well?”
“No, just me.” The breeder carefully stood up without a sound. He made no noise
on the attic floor as he managed to make his way to the hiding spot.
Master had installed a secret spot in the floor for breeders to seek cover.
Under the floorboards there was a small space, large enough though for a
breeder to fit in and remain until it was safe. Jared counted the floorboards
from the window and found the proper boards. The Doctor watched as Jared
quickly lifted up the cover and set it aside.
“I’ll be here when you get out,” the Doctor said and scooted over to be closer.
“Is that okay?”
Jared nodded. “Of course.”
He had an urge to lean forward and kiss the Doctor at that moment.
“Go on,” the Doctor murmured, breaking up whatever had been going on. He helped
Jared slip into the space and get as comfortable as he could. He wrapped a
blanket around the breeder before lowering the boards.
Just as the Doctor had set down the boards, Jared heard heavy footsteps on the
stair case leading up to the attic.
The second he took in a deep breath—and sent off a prayer to keep his household
safe—old Master stormed into the attic.
 
“Jared!” was shouted with force and anger. “I know you’re in here! Get out!”
Jared stayed curled up in his space, his heart beating wildly, clutching at
doll.
“Jared! By the court of law, get out here now!”
Instinctively responding to the orders of a Master, Jared felt himself shift to
begin pushing at the boards.
He froze at the sound of the Doctor’s voice.
“I don’t fucking think so.”
***** Purchased *****
Chapter Summary
     Old Master is suspicious and reveals too much information.
Chapter Notes
     Remember to read the tags for warnings! This is dark!fic-AU. Nothing
     explicit in this chapter.
     Short update for now but we finally find out who Jared's new Master
     is!
     Comments, etc. are all appreciated and loved! Thank you for reading!
Shouting had always frightened Jared. Some breeders were capable of managing
it—trained to do so through various circumstances—but Jared had never been able
to, despite his attempts. It didn’t help that he was in a small, confined space
while people were yelling about him outside and above him.
He was able to detect which boots were the Doctor’s and which ones were old
Master’s. The Doctor hovered near Jared but kept a careful distance, while old
Master paced back and forth in wild, random movements. Jared clung to doll the
entire time, his nails digging into her dress. He would apologize later.
“I have a court order for that breeder to be released into my hands! And I know
he’s here! You are all hiding him and I won’t stand for it!”
“You’re crazy,” the Doctor shouted, his tone sharp and cold. “Coming over here
in the middle of the night while decent people are trying to rest, throwing
accusations everywhere! We are citizens here—there’s nothing and no one to
hide.”
“Then let me see him!” old Master roared and Jared heard things being thrown to
the ground. He assumed that old Master was tearing through what little things
they had in the attic in an attempt to discover where the breeder was hiding.
“I don’t understand! I let you into my home, shared my table with you! And here
I find you, defending this piece of filth!”
“You watch that mouth or I’ll knock some manners into it,” the Doctor barked
and moved forward, closer to old Master. “You’ve seen what you wanted and found
absolutely nothing. Now. Leave.”
Distantly, Jared could hear Master arrive in the attic. For a moment there was
a lot of movement and shouting—Jared couldn’t make out any of it. He hoped the
Doctor was still near.
“You’re rigging something and I will find out what it is! I saw the public
records and it’s not possible! It shouldn’t be possible, I don’t care what your
connections are! You’ve come into this city and stolen my breeder!”
“You consented to put him to auction and I purchased him in an entirely legal
transaction,” Master Eli snapped back, his voice filled with anger. It made
Jared shrink in his space, as if he had done something wrong. “You’ve seen the
paperwork—there is nothing more to discuss!”
The mention of the kennels caused Jared to shudder. He flinched as someone
stood directly above him. He realized—by the sound of the boots and the
distance of the voice—that old Master was inches away from him. Jared’s anxiety
bubbled in his chest. He began to sweat and fidget, despite his attempts at
remaining as still and calm and quiet as possible.
“Whatever your role in this is questionable at best, Eli, but the rest of it!
That I cannot understand! Doctor, you’ve seen how worthless the breeder is—you
delivered the garbage pups—and yet upon my generous lending out after he gives
birth you suddenly purchase him?! How is that not suspicious? You’re
technically banned from the purchase of any breeder for a period of six months
and yet the sale has a date of next month!”
“What are you talking about?!” the Doctor demanded. “I haven’t bought him…”
“You haven’t,” old Master spat out. “But I saw the deed in public records!”
“Who…”
“The Judge! The breeder is the legal property of the Judge as of the New Year!”
The Masters continued to talk and argue amongst themselves but Jared didn’t
tune in for any of that. He was too shocked. Had this new Master been the Judge
all this time? But why had he not said anything? And how? And why would he keep
this information from the Doctor? Did he had other plans with Jared that he
wasn’t sharing with the Doctor? Fear made Jared stifle a sob. The sound went
unnoticed because there was a scuffle above. Someone charged and someone else
fell. The shouting escalated for a few minutes until finally, a pair of boots
were dragged away, towards the stairs. To the breeder in the hidden crawl space
underneath the floor, it was an eternity filled with desperation and exhaustion
as he waited.
He feared that they had forgotten him when no one came after what must have
been at least half an hour.
At least he had doll.
 
Finally, Jared heard boots in the distance. They quickly stepped closer until
they reached the proper floorboards. The breeder tried to make himself as small
as possible, curling up, trying not to be in the way. The boards were lifted
and the Doctor was there. He looked upset. His green eyes were sad but filled
with anger.
“Took forever to get rid of him,” the Master muttered and extended a hand to
Jared. “C’mon, let’s get you out of this awful thing.”
Hesitantly, Jared accepted the hand and was lifted up with ease. The Doctor
replaced the boards and they stood, looking at each other.
“Thank you,” Jared said, holding doll to his belly.
“Yeah. You’re welcome.”
There were many things they each either had to say, had been meaning to say, or
could say—but none came out. And it surprised Jared when instead of speech, the
Doctor moved forward and kissed him.
The Doctor kissed like no Master had kissed Jared before, yet it wasn't
anything like the kisses in his nightmare.
A strong arm was wrapped around Jared’s waist and pulled him in, closing any
and all distance between them. The kiss was a mix of rough, possessive, and
sweet. It was made sweeter by the Doctor gently cupping Jared’s face when they
parted for air. He tilted Jared’s face up. Green eyes searched Jared’s. Jared
hoped he found something worthwhile.
“I could do that always,” the Doctor breathed and closed his eyes. Is this what
had changed? Could he look at Jared and not see a child any more? Was he
looking at Jared with longing now? It didn't entirely matter to Jared if he was
looked at as a replacement or as something else. A Master wanted him, truly
wanted him.
Boldly, he kissed the Doctor back.
The Master made a pleased noise and moaned softly when Jared’s tongue licked
in. Jared enjoyed the taste he found and the way the Doctor kissed like he
might not breathe without it.
 
There were matters that required attention and questions that needed answers.
But for the moment, Jared relaxed as he was kissed over and over again by a
Master who treated each one as a fragile gift.
Doll was between them, safe and protected.
***** Places *****
Chapter Summary
     The situation of Jared's ownership is discussed, but there are
     multiple arguments.
Chapter Notes
     Please read the tags for warnings. Please remember that this is
     dark!fic-AU. Graphic scene with whipping in this chapter.
     I guess it's important to say that the Doctor still hasn't fully
     accepted who Jared is or their places in this society, which is awful
     because he could save them both a lot of hurt if he did.
     Augh, hugs for Jared. Poor bby.
     The Doctor has to change his perspective in order for anything to
     work. Hopefully he'll do that in the next chapter.
     Comments, questions, feels, kudos are appreciated. Thank you for
     reading and hanging on through 30 chapters!
     (PS. Next chapter will feature the Judge and he's going to set a few
     things straight. And something will happen to doll.)
Master wanted to speak to everyone.
Actually, he only wanted to speak with the Doctor, but Nicky told Jared that
she had convinced him otherwise. She had insisted that the breeders be
there—that they had a right to be present—and Master eventually allowed it.
“The discussion involves you so you should be part of it. Or at least present
to hear about it,” Nicky muttered as they walked to the main study near
Master’s suite. She was not entirely happy with the news of Jared's new Master.
She did not trust the Judge or the Doctor. But she did trust Master Eli's
decision. The household was quiet at such a late hour; it would be dawn soon.
“Eli can be so old fashioned sometimes,” she added with a sigh. “Anyway, I’m
here for moral support. Don’t be afraid to ask questions. Best to get what
facts you can now instead of later when it may come from less reliable
sources.”
“You didn’t… you didn’t know, did you?” the younger breeder asked, stopping in
the middle of the hallway. She stopped with him and slipped her hand into his—a
familiar and soothing gesture.
“No. I couldn’t tell you because Eli hadn’t told me. I had asked but…” She
began to mimic Master’s voice. “Some things breeders are better off not
knowing, Nicky.” Both breeders shared a secret smile and resumed walking, their
soft slippers padding against the cool marble floors. The household was lit
with a combination of electric lighting and candlelight, which often gave it a
soft, welcoming glow throughout. Jared wondered who had decorated the
household; had Cody done this all himself?
In the study, the Doctor was seated on a lounge while Master was at his desk.
Before they parted, Nicky squeezed Jared’s hand. He was grateful but tense.
With some hesitation, he took his place at Master Eli’s feet, kneeling on a
pillow. Though the breeders were near each other, the distance between them
seemed too large for Jared’s liking; it only served to heighten his anxiety.
Master took a deep breath and leaned back in his chair. Papers were spread out
before him on the large, polished desk. Master was very organized and kept many
important documents tucked away in extensive drawers that no breeder was
allowed to look in. All of Master’s drawers and desks were locked at all times
and he explained to the breeders that no visitor was ever allowed to go near
his personal items. It would be an invasion of privacy and Master liked his
privacy.
He cleared his throat and kept his focus on the Doctor as he spoke.
“Both you and the Judge were officially banned from the purchase of any breeder
for a probationary period of six months. It’s a standard sentence to any Master
that harms or attempts to harm with a government official taking pups.” Master
paused to pinch the bridge of his nose, which was something he did when he was
very tired and needed to rest. “I don’t know the specifics but apparently your
companion has connections in the right offices and the attention of the right
pairs of eyes. And he is very persuasive. He was eventually able to reduce your
sentences to three months based on your respective places within our
communities and because this was a first time offense. I believe it was
manageable in more legal terms than anything else. When Jared was placed to
auction, the Judge had contacted me hours prior and we struck a deal. I have
the contracts here.” Holding up a few pieces of paper, Master sighed.
“The basics were that I would purchase Jared and house him in the same manner I
have been doing for some breeders at auction. The Judge would ultimately own
Jared when he was legally able to do so, which would be the first day of the
New Year.”
Although Master was exhausted, his voice was still pleasing for Jared to listen
to. He wished Master was reading the desert story instead of discussing
business. It wasn’t Jared’s place to question who his Master was or would be,
though he did wonder a few things from time to time. Facts were facts and
whoever had his control would be his Master. Jared would do everything possible
to obey and honor his that Master.
The Doctor’s desperate, somewhat angry voice pierced through the lull in the
room.
“Why didn’t he tell me? Fuck it,” he muttered. He roughly pulled out his
checkbook from his breast pocket. Jared caught the tiniest glimpse of the
photograph. “Just tell me how much.”
Expectantly, the Doctor looked at Master. Jared kept his gaze on the floor,
sneaking small glances. He wished he hadn’t left doll in his room at her place
on his nightstand. Whatever would happen to him would happen to her and it was
only fair that she be with him.
“Well?” the Doctor pressed, his tone rough and impatient.
Master glanced over at Jared and motioned for the breeder to join him on his
lap. Jared did so immediately, moving quickly and perching himself on Master’s
knee. Master pet his head and Jared purred from the attention, leaning into the
touch.
“Doctor, Jared isn’t for sale. Not to you or to anyone but the Judge. And even
then, I’ve made conditions of my own. The Judge is barred from selling you
Jared until I have approved it. And I can tell you sir, I do not see that
happening.”
“That’s bullshit!” the Doctor shouted and slammed his fist down on the lounge’s
arm. Jared flinched at the shouting.
“I can see that right now, as you are, the first thing you would do with him in
your possession would be to try and conform his body to your traditions. You
would convince him to try a procedure that would make him unable to carry any
more litters. No breeder has survived such a procedure for more than two weeks.
And when you ask questions of the nature you have to him, I can see that you
don’t care. You would do it regardless of what may be better for him.”
“It’s a simple operation!” the Doctor blurted out. “It’s done all the time—I’ve
seen it done multiple times back in… back at home. No one dies from it, that’s
ridiculous!”
Jared hid his face in Master’s chest, trembling as he did so. Where was the
calm Doctor giving him kisses from before? That entire time, had he only been
thinking about cutting Jared open? He tried to remain elegant and poised as a
respected second breeder should be but the mention of someone cutting his
belly…
“You’d kill him!” Nicky shouted in desperation. “Eli! How… what if he had
tried?!”
“Silence,” Master commanded. “I’m upset with you as it is, don’t push me.”
“Upset with me?” she snapped from her pillow. “For what? Insisting that we be
present for a discussion?”
“No! Nicky, you test my patience.” Master nudged Jared off his lap and Jared
joined Nicky on the floor. Everything was happening faster than Jared could
process it all. He could barely breathe as the argument between Master and
breeder escalated. “You haven’t weaned him off that doll. You shouldn’t have
ever given it to him. Now you’ve forced me into a position where I must play
the villain and I do not appreciate it!”
“That’s not important right now, Eli! We’re talking about what this Master
wants to do to Jared!”
“That’s enough!” Master bellowed and the room went completely still.
Even though Jared knew it was wrong, he still wished for doll. He was almost
done making a new dress for her. And he had just finished mending her right
arm; she’d become a bit more worn since he started sleeping with her.
When the whip came into view, all of Jared’s previous thoughts vanished and
focused solely on Master’s hands. Both breeders knelt so that their foreheads
were touching the floor. Jared trembled and began to panic, his breath coming
in small hitches. Doll was going to be taken away from him and he could not
understand why. He took good care of her. The Doctor—who had just begun to seem
nice to Jared—wanted to cut him open and clean out his belly. All of this
overwhelmed the breeder. But nothing ever got his complete attention like the
whip did.
“Five lashes Nicky. Now.”
“Why are you gonna hurt them?” the Doctor shouted at Master. “It’s just a
doll.”
The Doctor covered his mouth a moment later, green eyes wide as he realized his
words.
Jared shut his eyes. He held back a sob with all the strength he had.
“I didn’t… I didn’t mean it like that Jared!”
“That’s precisely why,” Master grumbled, “I explained to you the consequences
of having a breeder become attached to any one material object. And Nicky, as a
breeder, you should know that. Lift up your robes.”
She did as she was told, without any protest, but she turned her head away from
Jared so he wouldn’t see her reactions to the lashes. Master was fast—each lash
struck after a powerful crack of the whip—and Nicky did not make one noise,
even when she lowered her robes back over herself. Her blood dripped onto the
floor and she refused to make eye contact with anyone.
“Jared, two lashes. Right now.”
“He didn’t do anything!”
“He isn’t yours to care for, Doctor. Jared, lift up your robes.”
With the same quickness, Jared obeyed. He turned his head away from Nicky but
towards the Doctor. He glanced up briefly but found he would rather not look at
the Master right away.
“How is this fair?! He didn’t fucking do anything!” the Doctor continued to
shout, rising from his lounge. “I thought you were different!”
“If you cannot recognize when a breeder requires discipline, Doctor, you are in
no position to purchase one! This—as are all of my rules—is for their own
good!”
Unlike Nicky, Jared did cry out as he was whipped. The hiss of the whip and the
bite of its lash caught him by surprise. He heard the Doctor continue to yell
at Master and Master added a lash for each attempt the Doctor made to argue.
“I can’t take him back like this! He has to have that operation, don’t you
understand?! I’m a god damned professional—stop it! Stop hurting him!”
“Every breeder knows their place, Doctor, but every Master knows theirs as
well. Know yours and you can stop his pain!”
Twenty lashes in, Nicky cried out for Master to stop. “He’s not moving! Eli!
Please!”
Master threw the whip at the Doctor, who let it fall to the ground. Jared’s
eyes rolled in his head as he writhed in pain. It wasn’t the worst thrashing
he’d ever received but he had been spoiled recently. It had been a while since
he’d felt the scorch of a whip. He was grateful for Master’s insight.
Discipline was good. Jared didn't quite understand it but he knew he didn't
have to.
“When will you comprehend,” Master shouted, “that when you serve your own
purposes you are causing him irreparable harm?! Maybe now you will finally see
what you do to him each time you don’t know your place within this world or his
life. I am not a cruel Master, Doctor, but I am responsible for these breeders
and their well-being and I take that commitment seriously. You would have him
in your care, dead by the next full moon, instead of with someone who
understands his needs. No, I will not sell him to you and I can void the
contract with your companion at any moment. I agreed to this before I knew the
extent of your ignorance, a foolish thing for me to do but here we are.
However, this is my household and Jared is still my breeder. Remember that.”
There was a moment of heavy silence. Jared felt his blood begin to stick to the
floor. He hoped it didn’t make too much of a mess. He hoped he could clean it
quickly before it stained Master’s study.
“Eli…” Nicky whispered, beside Jared but not touching him for fear of causing
him pain. “Please, can I... can I just…”
“No, you cannot tend to his wounds. He survived without you once; he can do it
once more. Jared.”
The young breeder attempted to lift his head several times but failed. He
mewled in acknowledgement, the only thing he could do.
“Jared, go to your room. You may attend to yourself.”
“Help him up for god’s sake,” the Doctor pleaded. “Jay, please, don’t crawl.”
Jared didn’t understand that command. How could he not crawl? He could not
walk.
“That isn’t his name!” Nicky hissed at the Doctor. “Eli, how do you expect him
to move?!”
“Jared,” Master commanded. “Get to your room now.”
“Don’t you dare crawl! Don’t you dare crawl, Jay! Stand up! You can do it!
You’ve got pride, Jay!”
Confused and disoriented, Jared tried to stand but his back was raw and
exposed. Each movement caused him to feel the ground up mess that was his back.
But still, shoulders and legs shaking, he tried to stand. His hair was
plastered against his face, dripping with sweat from exertion. He got to his
knees and collapsed with a yelp, sobbing when he hit the floor hard on his
ribs.
The Doctor kept muttering something but Jared couldn’t hear it. He was focused
on obeying Master’s command to go to his room. He had to be unseen immediately,
he had to hurry. As fast as he could, he crawled towards the door, trying his
best to avoid leaving a mess. He thought he was making good progress. Doll
would be waiting for him in his room and he would cradle her and calm her down.
He could hold her against his chest and pat her head and insist that he was
alright now. He would kiss her little forehead and take her with him to clean
up.
 
“If you have any intentions of purchasing a breeder, Doctor, you’ll have to
breed it. No operation, no procedure, and no moral outrage or disagreement will
change that fact.”
“You’re wrong. I’m never having pups just to feed your system.”
Jared made it to the doorway and pulled himself out into the hallway. Every
muscle hurt and every strip of skin burned. But he heard the Doctor’s comment
and slowed before he continued on.
He would tell doll never to trust any Master.
Especially one that kissed so sweetly.
***** Relieved *****
Chapter Summary
     Dawn comes, rest is scarce for Jared.
Chapter Notes
     Tiny, tiny chapter.
     More later!
At dawn, the Doctor came in and applied salve to Jared’s back.
The breeder had managed to pull himself up onto his bed and grab doll, but that
was it. He had tried to drag himself to the tub but he lacked the strength and
the will. His back could wait.
So when he felt the Doctor’s hands on his back, it alarmed him but he didn’t
respond.
 
The Doctor sang pieces of a song that Jared didn’t know the words to and for
that, he was relieved.
“What have I done,” was the last thing the breeder heard before sinking back
into a fitful sleep. 
***** Missing *****
Chapter Summary
     The Judge arrives, ready to talk, but something happens to doll.
Chapter Notes
     Please read tags! Remember: dark!fic-AU.
     A really emotional chapter. I'm heading to work now all upset and
     frantic. ;-;
     Comments, questions, feels, kudos, etc. are all appreciated. Thank
     you for reading!
When Jared woke up, he remembered his dream.
He’d been in a garden—happy and warmed by the sun—picking vegetables for a
dinner he would be making that evening. Once again, his belly was full of pups,
but he was early in his term and not yet heavy. He could feel the beginnings of
their heartbeats inside him. It felt like tiny butterflies fluttering against
him, insisting that they were there. Each flutter made him content.
And again, like always, when he woke up he felt his sadness weigh down on him
more than any physical pain. Breeders believed that the more a breeder dreamt
of pups and litters, the closer they were to being in heat and carrying. Most
of the time these were things to be grateful for—to look forward to—but Jared’s
mind was so confused and overwhelmed with questions that seemingly had no
answers. How could he possibly have a litter now? Master seemed unwilling to do
so, as did the Doctor and Judge.
The only one who seemed to want Jared was old Master.
Jared preferred not to think about him.
With doll’s help and encouragement, he carefully limped over to the bathroom.
He set her on the window ledge near the smaller tub and got things set up. As
gingerly as possible, he submerged himself in a bath full of tepid water, with
a towel stuffed in his mouth to silence his screams.
After the initial shock, he breathed out and set to rinsing himself off. The
rest of him was covered in sweat and blood, which he didn’t have too much issue
washing away. He didn’t touch his back—he would have to ask Nicky to help him
apply more salve and bandage it later—and he was done quickly. When he got out
without falling or slipping, the tub water was a dark red. The color caused the
breeder to shudder. Signs were everywhere but which ones were his imagination’s
doing?
“I’m alright,” Jared murmured to doll as he dried himself off. “Much better
now.” The salve the Doctor had put on had helped, even though Jared hadn’t even
asked for it. But also, after being well-fed and taken care of by Master, his
healing ability was back to normal. The lashes would scar over in a day or two
and transform into spindly white tracks, tangling with the many others there.
He was grateful Master had stopped at twenty and that he had kept the lashes on
his back. Jared had been whipped all over before—on his legs, thighs, chest,
and neck—and he never wanted to repeat those experiences. There was no robe he
could wear that didn’t cause him discomfort, so he chose to remain naked, which
Nicky had told him was his choice to make each day. Master didn’t mind either
way. Most breeders were naked—the academy trained them to be either way, to
suit the preferences of their future Masters—and Jared had no strong feels
about it.
Doll looked at him, concerned. Jared pet her head and kissed her cheek before
setting her down on his nightstand. “He won’t take you away. He won’t. Stay
here, please?” With a final pet, he left his room and took the breeder stairs
to the kitchen.
He hoped he hadn’t overslept. It was near midday and no one had woken him up,
which meant that someone had allowed him to sleep but he still worried. He
didn’t want Nicky doing all the chores by herself especially now. She would be
showing soon; the thought made Jared simultaneously joyful and heavyhearted. He
could at least knit something for her before he left to wherever he went.
The one person he didn’t expect to see in the kitchen was the Judge.
“Good afternoon,” the Judge greeted, his blue eyes lighting up at the sight of
the breeder. “Nicky is showing me how to make pancakes. I never did master the
technique.”
“You won’t if you don’t pay attention,” Nicky sighed. She set down the mixing
bowl she had been holding and rushed over to Jared. “Turn around. Please, let
me attend to your back.”
“I’m fine,” Jared insisted, blushing at the attention.
“Please,” she begged him, looking up with determination. “I’ll be fast.”
With a nod, she ran off to get her kit, which left Jared and the Judge alone.
The Judge looked tired but not as worn down as the Doctor. He thrummed with an
energy Jared rarely witnessed—it was a positive, mischievous energy, like he
would burst out laughing at any moment. Jared just didn’t always understand
what he was laughing about. He was dressed in neater clothes than the
Doctor—with a pressed vest and pristine boots. Jared noticed that the Judge
wore a silver ring on his right hand. He stood a distance away from the Judge,
cautious and watchful.
“Jared, I’m… I wish to give you my apologies for the last time we saw each
other. I needed the both of you to hear that song and could not think of any
other way. And…” he gave a weak laugh. “Isn’t it funny how I had just finished
telling you that I knew more about breeders and then you go into heat and I
couldn’t even recognize that?”
The breeder didn’t respond; he kept his head down and stood as still as
possible. He was anxious for Nicky to return.
“I’m sure the Doctor has managed to make a fine mess of things recently,” the
Judge continued. “Though I can’t say that I’m not capable of doing the same
myself. I suppose that’s why we are such good friends, him and I. Jared, do you
know how old the Doctor and I are?”
He did not. He didn’t know the ages of any of his Masters or the Masters he had
regular contact with. The age of a Master didn’t matter to a breeder; it wasn’t
important information for them to be able to fulfill their duties or honor to
the government. Jared gave a quick shake of his head.
“I’m thirty-three years old and the Doctor is twenty-five. You will turn
fourteen this coming July, correct?” the Judge asked, his voice in a carefully
measured, wary tone. Jared only nodded. He would only be one year away from
maturity, something he looked forward to. He hoped he could provide for his
Master adequately as a fully grown breeder.
“I had to find the right things for a salve. Kneel down, Jared.” Nicky arrived
in that moment and Jared let out a breath he hadn’t realized he had been
holding in. He knelt down and she went to work, applying fresh salve onto his
tender back. Although she kept her touches light, he still felt pain as she
cleaned him up. After the salve, she placed bandages over them and gave him a
drink of water.
“Nothing is infected but please, stay inside for today,” she insisted as she
put away her kit. “Eli said you could have the day to yourself. Go on, I don’t
mind.”
“I was hoping to speak to Jared,” the Judge announced. “If that is okay with
the both of you?”
“Finish these pancakes with me and then you can go talk to him,” the older
breeder snapped, though without much bite. “You’ve made me do all the mixing
anyway. It’s your turn.” She shoved the bowl into his arms before he could
protest, then she looked over at Jared. “I’ll send him up to your room, if
you’ll allow that?”
“Yes,” Jared murmured. They exchanged a look between them before he left to
make his way upstairs again. He didn’t hear or see any signs of Master or the
Doctor when he walked up the main staircase. He wanted to thank Master for
giving him time to rest for the day. It didn’t feel right to let Nicky do all
the work in the household but Jared had long ago given up on arguing with her
about it. She maintained the household in pristine condition at all times—and
she had shown Jared how to do so—which was the sign of a respected second
breeder. He hoped he could do the same in the future.
Some breeders had one Master for their entire lives. Jared wondered what that
felt like.
Some breeders were passed around from Master to Master, never staying very long
at any household.
He preferred not to wonder about that.
He looked forward to having doll in his arms again. When he walked into his
room and didn’t find her on the nightstand, Jared panicked. He darted forward
and looked for her everywhere.
Maybe she had fallen behind the nightstand and under the bed. Ignoring the pain
in his back as he moved frantically, he started moving aside what little
furniture he had in his room. Maybe she was playing. She had to be playing. She
had to be playing a game of hide and seek. But she should know—she should know
how Jared needed her to be on her nightstand and then in his arms. She had to
know.
She just had to.
His breathing was coming in hysterical pants and he began unconsciously mewling
as he searched. Desperation pierced him as he tossed off all the pillows and
blankets on his bed. With every minute he did not find her, his heart beat
wildly.
A phantom pain appeared in his belly.
Jared clung to a pillow and let out a sob.
Shaking, he began to limp towards the bathroom. Maybe he was mistaken and he
had left her there. It seemed like something a forgetful breeder would do.
She wasn’t anywhere.
He tore his room apart until there was nothing left to look in or search
through.
Stumbling backwards, he collapsed onto the floor, curling up and trying to
understand what was going on. Why would anyone take doll? Master had said Jared
shouldn’t be so attached to her but Master didn’t see how much she needed
Jared. She was crying, he could feel it because he was crying too. He grabbed
tufts of his hair and gripped tightly, prepared to pull them out in a fit.
Not again. He couldn’t lose her again.
What would Nicky say? He’d failed both of them. The sting in his belly didn’t
cease. He felt the weight of the auctioneer’s boot on his face as he was
pressed onto the platform for the third time. And any time Jared closed his
eyes all he saw was dark red. Signs were everywhere.
The young breeder didn’t hear the boots stomping through the hallways.
“Jared!”
At first he didn’t notice Nicky kneeling in front of him, gripping onto his
hands, trying to pry them off his hair before he did any damage. “Jared! What’s
wrong?!” She asked this question but she knew the answer to it by looking
around at the state of his room and the emptiness in his hands. “No!” she
gasped and held Jared down, who was still shaking with panic. “Jared, calm
down, please. She… she’s got to be around here…”
“What’s wrong?”
“Nothing! Just… leave us alone!”
“I would surely, but… oh my. Is this about the doll in his room?”
“What about her! Where did you take her?! Where is she? He would never lose
her!” Nicky shouted at the Judge, who was standing at a distance in the
doorway.
The Judge held his hands up. “I… I didn’t mean to suggest that! The Doctor
asked me for a few things and…”
“Get him over here then! Why would you take her?!”
“We had the best of intentions, I assure you! Just… just a moment.” The Judge
disappeared, running down the hallway. Nicky hefted Jared up to his bed and lay
him down on his side so not to hurt his back any further. She nuzzed him and
licked away at the tears on his face. He clung to her and she clung back.
“I’m sorry,” Jared wept into her robes.
“Shh, don’t…” was all she replied, stroking his hair.
This time Jared did hear the boots in the hallway and he tensed up immediately,
as did Nicky. Both breeders huddled together, unsure of what to expect. The
Doctor ran into the room, out of breath, his face flushed. The Judge stood
behind him.
“I’m sorry,” the Doctor panted. “I… I thought… you’d be gone little longer.
Sorry. Here.”
The Master presented Jared with a box. At first glance it looked plain; it was
a simple white washed wood. But there were small details to it that made it
more elegant. The lock hinge on it was old and beautifully crafted. The
whitewash was fresh and shone in the sunlight. When Jared did not move to take
it, the Doctor frowned but held it carefully. He opened it and revealed doll on
a plush bed of tiny quilts in her size.
She wore a new dress with four gold buttons.
Her hair had been brushed with care and the rips in her hands had been expertly
patched up by a fine, invisible thread. She held a felt flower in one hand,
extended towards Jared.
“She missed you but she behaved really well,” the Doctor said with a small
laugh. “Hated when I brushed her hair. Uh…” he cleared his throat and held up
the box. It had a hidden compartment on the bottom, which he slid out to show
its contents. “She’s got a full wardrobe here. The dresses you made are in here
too. And some hair pins. You know… if… if you’ll accept this. I’m really sorry
I caused you panic. I was putting it all together.”
The box wasn’t larger than the span of the Doctor’s chest. But it seemed like
so much more than what it was.
“Why?” Jared blurted out, hiding behind Nicky, shying away from doll. “You… you
don’t even want pups.” It confused him that he would spend the time to do this
for doll when this Master planned to never have pups. If Jared accepted this,
would he be accepting the plans for cutting him open?
“This is where I think we should have a conversation,” the Judge interrupted,
stepping out from the Doctor’s side. “So we can clear a few things up, don’t
you think?”
The Doctor nodded and held the box against his chest, as if he were clinging to
doll. Jared wasn’t sure what to think of that.
“Ring the bell if you need me,” Nicky murmured to Jared. She leaned forward and
whispered in his ear, “Nothing adds up. Take care.” She squeezed him close to
her before she walked out of the room, shutting the door behind her. Jared
wished she had stayed. He looked up at the Masters before him and took a moment
before he snapped back into his duties. His room was destroyed; he felt a
sudden sense of shame.
“It’s alright,” the Judge said lightly, sensing Jared’s discomfort. “Completely
our faults, really. Jen, maybe you want to take a seat next to him? I’ll stand.
Such a long ride, it’s good to stretch.”
“Can I sit here?” the Doctor asked, still holding the box and doll with the
greatest amount of care. His eyes were a lighter green than Jared had ever seen
them. Jared scooted over to make room, but held out his hands. The Doctor
picked up doll and placed her in them.
“Doll,” Jared cried, shutting his eyes and holding her to him tightly. She
smelled sweet and felt soft. He breathed her in and kept her close in the space
between his heart and belly.
“Well,” the Judge said with a smile. “We should get started.”
***** Buried *****
Chapter Summary
     The Doctor and the Judge show Jared something more than the
     photograph.
Chapter Notes
     Please read the tags! Remember this is dark!fic-AU and some scenes
     may be graphic.
     Answers!
     No, Jared's nightmare didn't actually happen but he's still taking it
     very seriously. He's still convinced it could happen. But he's
     determined to change the prophecy.
     The song in this chapter is "Looking at Me" by The Trishas. I
     recommend listening to it once in time with the lines of the fic for
     the most punch. Credit to them for the song.
     Comments, kudos, questions, feels, etc. are all appreciated. Thank
     you for reading!
“We came here to take you back,” the Judge announced to Jared as he leaned
against a wall. “We had to find you first, which we did much faster than either
of us expected. And of course, there are details that neither the Doctor nor I
can reveal, but that has always been our end goal: to take you back with us.”
Jared kept his gaze on doll and examined her new dress.
At first glance, the dress looked fancy—certainly fancy for any government
issued doll—but there were little things that didn’t seem entirely normal to
Jared. Things that didn’t add up, as Nicky had warned. The cloth for her dress
was different, even from the robes or Masters’ clothes Jared had seen. The
stitching didn’t match any pattern Jared had ever seen before either. It was
obviously a dress that had not come from any market stall in Meridian.
“I know it’s not in your nature to ask questions, but perhaps you have some you
have wanted to ask? You’re free to do so with us at any time, especially now.”
The Judge continued to speak, using a gentle voice while the Doctor fidgeted in
his place on Jared’s bed. He had placed the box in between them. The inside was
lined with something soft and pink, the kind of pink that reminded Jared of the
garden outside.
He had questions. He had a whole list of things he had wanted to ask about.
But of all the ones he could choose, he wanted to know the answer to this one.
He needed to know if this would happen or not.
So he asked.
In a small, timid voice, he asked.
“Can I…can I keep a pup?”
It was a bold question that should have been asked with more finesse and more
planning. His heart beat picked up with anxiety as he gripped onto doll and
waited for his answer.  
“You never have to have pups again,” the Doctor said in a rush. His accent was
thick now; Jared realized that the Doctor usually masked his accent, but not
around the Judge. “You’ll never have to give them up again…”
“Jensen,” the Judge snapped and stepped forward. “Pups are important to
breeders. He can’t just not have more and whenever you mention that kind of
thing he only becomes more frightened of you. That’s not any way to build trust
between the two of you.”
“What am I supposed to do then?” the Doctor demanded from the Judge,
positioning himself defensively. “We can’t take him back like this.”
The Judge sighed and rolled his eyes at the Doctor. “Jen, there’s a reason why
I was the ship’s counselor and not you.”
“The ship never needed a stupid counselor! We ran just fine without your group
therapy sessions and shit!”
“This is your problem, Jensen! You don’t want to listen! You’re unwilling to
even see where he might be coming from and you keep insisting on something that
is impossible! Several people here have told you that any such operation is
certain death for a breeder, it’s not going to happen.”
“Then they’re doing it wrong!”
“They aren’t, I’ve seen the bodies!” the Judge shouted back, his hands
gesturing to emphasize his point. “I’ve been to the morgues and the mass
graves—it’s all quality work, sterile and precise, maybe even good enough to
match our own! But they die, Jen. Every single breeder that has that operation
dies suffering—some last longer but the bodies are still there.”
“Please!” Jared shouted, standing up anxiously. “Stop, please!” He knelt down
immediately, in an attempt to apologize for his outburst. The thought of the
bodies of breeders piled on top of each other—jagged scars smiling out from
their bellies—terrified and disturbed the young breeder. Any truly good second
breeder would have been able to go without interrupting. But he couldn’t ignore
any of what was being said over him.
“I’m sorry, we’ve upset you,” the Judge said, quickly but did not move towards
Jared in anger as he had expected. “It was, at first, our idea to take you back
after performing an operation that would take out your ability to breed. We
don’t have breeders where we come from.”
“What would I do?” Jared asked, keeping doll close but looking at the Judge
directly. “I would be the only breeder? But then… what if… how would I live?”
“That’s not what I want to do anymore. I don’t want to take you back,” the
Judge stated.
“We can’t stay here!” the Doctor insisted, remaining in his place. “Misha, I
can’t… I can’t do this. I can’t live like this. What about our homes? His
family is still there. His parents, all his brothers and sisters, the rest of
our friends, the crew!”
“It won’t work, Jensen! If we take him back how will you explain the litters?
You can’t possibly expect to keep every pup. A breeder could have as many as
eight pups a year for thirty years.”
“I can do the operation, Misha. It’ll work, you have to believe me.” The Doctor
looked from the Judge to Jared. “I won’t cause you any harm…”
“The sooner you understand that that is not an option,” the Judge barked, “the
better for all of us!” The Judge turned to Jared. “Please, I know we seem…
quite awful I’m sure… my goodness I’ve never had so much go wrong in such a
short period of time.” He took a deep breath and sighed. “Jared, this is made
increasingly difficult by the fact that I literally can’t tell you certain
things. It’s like trying to talk to you underwater. You know? I’m going to skip
ahead to the grand finale of my speech.”
“You’re not supposed to do that,” the Doctor grumbled and folded his arms over
his chest. Jared watched the Judge carefully, trying to predict his movements.
Although this was no inn and there was no rug, Jared was still guarded. He
could call for Nicky at any moment—or Master, even, if he was in the
household—and that was a comfort but who knew what these Masters could do in
the matter of just a few seconds. Doll told him to take caution and he agreed.
The weight of those boots, the manner in which he woke up by the lake, all of
it… the sadness in the Doctor’s eyes… The Judge took out a disc from his
pocket, no bigger than the palm of his hand. He held it up to the nearest wall
and a light flickered. At first Jared thought it was a light inside his room
but it came from the disc. It projected its bright light onto the wall, as if
it were a billowing, satiny sheet.
When sound came from the disc, Jared jumped. He watched, transfixed, as an
image came into focus on the wall from the curious object in the Judge’s palm.
It was him.
It was Jared in the photograph.
“Say hi Jared,” the Doctor’s voice rang out, clear and crisp, but Jared looked
back behind him and the Doctor had not spoken.
“Hi Jared,” the Jared in the photograph spoke from the disc.
“Don’t be such a dick.”
The other Jared made a face then smiled wide, dimples showing without
hesitation. He leaned back in his chair and stretched out, looking at the disc
with happiness radiating in his eyes. The breeder gasped when his other moved
to pick up something. The something was the dark red instrument he’d seen the
Doctor play in the inn. The images on the wall bounced a bit as the focus
shifted. The Doctor appeared next to the other Jared, who was as he looked in
the photograph—taller and broader.
“Go on.” Now that was the Judge’s voice coming from the disc. “Don’t chicken
out, Jay.”
“I’m not!” the other Jared insisted with a grin. He picked up the instrument
and held it expertly. Jared clung to doll, both hands on her as he watched
himself. It was himself, he was sure of it. This couldn’t be another person who
looked like him or whom he looked like.
“Yeah, I ain’t got all day,” the Doctor drawled. “Some of us have work to do
around here.”
“One day you’ll regret being so mean to me, Jensen Ackles.”
“Fucker,” the Doctor behind Jared muttered. Jared glanced back at him for a
moment before looking back at the wall, not wanting to miss a second. The other
Jared looked at the Doctor with a fondness that even the breeder could
recognize. The other Jared touched the strings of the instrument a few times,
playing a light, airy tune.
“Just shut up for one whole song, okay Jenny?”
“Yeah, yeah.”
He played a tune the breeder could almost follow and predict the notes to.
He played and began walking backwards, into a hallway of a place the breeder
had never seen before. When the other Jared began singing, the breeder couldn’t
believe it.
“Sometimes your touch is so soft I can’t feel it. Sometimes your voice is all
that I could need. And sometimes your eyes they could pierce through the
darkness, when you think I don’t see you looking at me. Well, a fire burns slow
if you know how to build it. The heat travels up from the ground towards the
trees. And when the winds change I know smoke follows beauty. I follow it up
til it’s you that I see…” he played and sang with confidence, tossing his head
back and grinning throughout. Playfully he kept going, leading the Doctor and
the Judge through the hallway of wherever they were. Sunshine filtered in,
making his eyes bright.
Both Masters followed Jared as he played and sang.
“Oh, it’s a shame, it’s a shame. The last one to know is the first to complain.
Oh, beware of the dark. For all of your secrets are shared with spark. Well
you’re warm to the touch, but you’re bitter as sin…” Jared changed his smile to
a proud, affectionate smirk at the Doctor. “And I think these late nights are
doing you in. No matter the song it’s the blues that you sing. But sometimes I
wish they were all about me. Oh, it’s a shame, it’s a shame. The last one to
know is the first to complain…”
They all entered an entryway with large, open windows. A group of people
dressed similarly to Jared were there, cheering and whooping. Jared kept
playing, his fingers moving elegantly on the instrument, which shone in the
light.
“Well you can’t help the way that you feel in the morning, unless you can take
back the night. No, you can’t laugh long enough. You can’t live hard enough,
you can’t hold me that tight…” Jared looked directly at the Doctor, devotion
and sincerity in his eyes.
The disc moved back enough so that the Doctor appeared in the same space as
Jared on the wall. The Doctor was smiling effortlessly, crinkles by his green,
vibrant eyes. He was so well-rested.
The Doctor threw his head back and laughed, deep and genuine, the most
beautiful and soothing sound. He laughed because while Jared was still playing,
Jared was also getting down on one knee so that he knelt before the Doctor. The
group of people in the background were cheering louder but quieted as the final
lines were played.
Jared looked up at the Doctor, who was looking right back at him.
The final notes were played louder and firmer than any others that came before
them or would ever come after, of that Jared knew. He mouthed along the words
and didn’t realize, that with doll in one arm, he was touching the wall, trying
to touch the fragile images before him. Because he understood the message of
kneeling in that way, though he’d never seen such a thing done.
He was asking the Doctor to stay. In what way, for all the exact reasons, he
had no idea.
But Jared did know those words. Just like the others. But these were different
because he’d written this song both times—here and there, wherever there in
that hallway was. This was a song he’d written, not a song the Doctor had
written and he’d known.
Their voices were different, but at one point they melded so much that doll
couldn’t tell the difference.
“Sometimes your touch is so soft I can’t feel it. Sometimes your voice is all
that I could need. Sometimes your eyes well they could pierce through the
darkness,” both Jareds sang. “When you think I don’t see you looking at me.
When you think I don’t know you’re looking at me. You don’t know that I see you
looking at me…”
The song ended with a final, joyful strum.
Other Jared set aside the instrument and shrugged, still kneeling on one knee
before the Doctor.
“C’mon Jenny. Say yes.”
“If I do, you’ll never go away,” the Doctor bantered, looking shy for once.
“Never intend to, doesn’t matter what your answer is.” Jared reached inside the
vest he was wearing and pulled out a silver ring. He held it up to the Doctor.
“Say yes, Jen.”
“Say yes Jen,” the Doctor laughed and took the ring, sliding it on easily,
proudly holding his hand up and shaking his head. “Dear God, you’ve ruined me.”
“You can cry about it later,” Jared muttered and shot up, grabbed the Doctor’s
hand and held it up for the room to see. “Okay y’all! Who owes me money?!”
There was a burst of laughter before the images disappeared. The disc hummed
softly, the light shutting off, and the Judge slipped the mysterious thing back
into his vest pocket. He wore a silver ring but it wasn’t that silver ring.
The breeder refused to turn around and face the Doctor. For a moment he wanted
nothing more than to run—anywhere, far, far away.
No one said anything. Even though Jared felt grief and bitterness and anger
throughout his room, both Masters stayed silent and gave him space. Jared
reached forward and touched the spot on the wall where his image had been.
He turned around and met the Doctor’s eyes.
How did any of this explain the inn? His nightmare? How could that Master be
this Master be that Master whose boot he still felt? How could he be somewhere
else, clothed in trousers and a shirt and acting like a Master? How was any of
that possible? Breeders never asked their Masters to marry. Very few first
breeders were married; they were owned instead.
“That’s me,” Jared whispered. “That’s me… that’s… that’s me!” He pointed to the
empty wall. “That’s me!”
“Yeah, that’s you,” Jensen whispered back, slumped forward now. “Always been
you.”
Jared turned again and stared at the wall. He took a step backwards, away from
both Masters and the wall. “Something happened to me. That’s why you’re here.
I…” Mid-sentence his thoughts turned to his pups. He touched his belly, fingers
resting lightly there. “Did I have pups?”
The Doctor shut his eyes tightly for a second, then stood up and moved towards
Jared. “No, you didn’t. We didn’t. Jay, please, I know… I wish I could explain
but… please, please don’t look at me like that. Please just, listen, I would do
anything…”
“No!” Jared shouted. He held onto doll as tightly as he had before, fingertips
turning white. “I’d never leave my pups!”
“They’re not even with you! They’re in some government facility hundreds of
miles away being brainwashed every day!” the Doctor shouted back. “That’s how
it’ll always be if you stay here!”
The Judge stepped towards the Doctor but Jared interrupted.
“That’s me and it isn’t me,” Jared snapped as he moved quickly to the door. He
stepped over whatever was in his way, managing the pain in his back, the ache
in his belly, the itching underneath his skin, and the feeling of wrong, wrong,
wrong in his heart. “You killed me,” he blurted out just before he fled towards
the hallway. “I don’t know how but you did! You did and you lost me and now
you’re here and I… I can’t.”
Without a second thought, the young breeder ran. He ran down the hallway, steps
silent, and down the breeder staircase and through the kitchen and outside to
the lawns.
He ran until he reached the clearing.
Breathless and crying, he fell hard on his knees, bowing down before the grave
of the breeder who had once lived here.
And then he realized something.
Cody had to be alive. His chip was still active.
That was how Master kept Nicky without having to purchase another first or
second breeder. That’s how he kept breeders coming in through his household
temporarily before they were sold again after auction.
The grave stared back at him.
Jared shook his head.
 
He wouldn’t let it happen. He wouldn’t die that way. He could change the signs.
Because signs were everywhere.
The breeder took off running, doll in hand, his legs stretching, muscles
working, lungs expanding. As he breathed in, the sun was high in the sky; it
warmed every part of him, to the point where Jared swore he had sunlight
wrapped around him. His fingers tingled with phantom knowledge of chords long
memorized from another body.
Further and further into the grounds, to the patch of woods Master said he
could not enter alone, Jared ran. The simple pounding of his feet on the solid
ground, despite any pain, kept him calm and sure. He ran until his lungs were
on fire and sweat dripped from his hair. He ran until his body was overcome
with agony.
 
He ran until he reached a part of the property he’d never seen before.
Tiny grave after grave after grave filled a clearing.
Pups were buried here.
Jared fell to the ground on his knees. He offered a prayer. He offered himself.
He offered his heart.
He offered anything and everything in his being to whatever or whoever might be
listening to ensure that these pups and his own pups were at rest.
That they would never know the life of a second breeder.
***** Recognized *****
Chapter Summary
     Jared's time at this household are coming to a close, with few
     answers than when he had moved in.
Chapter Notes
     Read the tags! Proceed with caution.
     falling asleep so this update is short.
     questions, comments, feels, etc. are appreciated.
     Oh, I made a Tumblr with this fic on there. It's ittakesalotofwater
     dot tumblr dot com. Also, it's password protected with the password
     Compo67. Enjoy! Thank you for reading!
It surprised Jared that no one came looking for him.
He spent hours besides those little graves. He tended to each one, clearing
brush and dust and leaves away, then finding some wildflowers that were still
alive to place on top. At sundown, rested and calm, he picked up doll from her
place by a tree and headed towards the main house.
This time he walked and took his time, swinging doll gently as they made their
way through the forest and back onto the grounds. It was cold but doll’s dress
was thicker and seemed to keep her warm, which was all Jared cared about. Just
as he reached the stables, Master was mounting a horse, ready to go for a ride.
Jared stepped out of the shadows. Master saw him and shook his head.
“I was about to fetch you,” Master muttered and descended from the horse, his
boots solid on the ground. “You’re freezing, Jared.” Immediately, Master took a
blanket from the horse and placed it over Jared’s shoulders. “Your back is
healing well I take it?”
“Yes sir, thank you,” the breeder replied, hesitant about making eye contact
for any long period of time.
“Nicky’s got supper ready inside. Go on, don’t make her wait.” Master busied
himself with something else in the stable, though he didn’t put the horse back
in its stall. “The Doctor and the Judge have both left. I don’t want them back
or in contact with you until the end of the year. Is that clear, Jared?”
Another quick answer and Jared hurried into the house.
The older breeder was beside herself. She scolded him into a warm bath and
redressed his back. His room had been picked up, everything carefully
rearranged after Jared’s dire search for doll. He set her down near the tub
before Nicky all but pushed him in.
“They were about to chase after you,” she reported, drying him off tenderly.
“When a messenger arrived from Meridian with urgent news.”
“I saw the graves,” Jared blurted out, shutting his eyes in pain when she
touched a particularly tender spot. “Did you know?”
“Yes,” she whispered. “I did. I have for some time. He doesn’t breed any of the
breeders he brings here after auction, except for me. The ones who pass through
sometimes have litters while they’re here. And you know…not all pups make it.
He thought…” she brushed Jared’s hair, getting out the curls and knots. “He
thought they’d be better in one place than handed over.”
“Is Master ill?”
“I don’t know. He refuses to speak to me about much these days. He used to tell
me everything. He used to return from his visits to town brimming with
information and stories… now it’s silence that occupies our time together.” Her
tone was heavy with sadness. “Do you think it’s something I’ve done? Pushed him
too far? I… Jared… I’ve seen auction papers on his desk.”
“Tell me,” the younger breeder insisted, turning to face her. “Tell me what you
think might happen.”
She hesitated, chewing on the pink bottom of her lip. “Don’t panic, please?
It’s all just speculation.”
He sat up and held her hands in his. She closed her eyes and kept her head
down. “I think he’s sold me, Jared.”
They had precious few minutes together as they held each other fiercely. She
kept stroking his hair and kissing him; he insisted on pressing each other as
close as possible. Breeders never got close, especially second breeders. The
academy had discouraged relationships between breeders of the same station. It
would ultimately serve them no good in the end. And it distracted them from
their first duty: duty to their Masters. However, Jared found it difficult to
find regret in his heart. They were friends. And that meant something he
couldn’t articulate but he definitely felt.
Master called them both down to the dining room.
They parted with soft licks and hushed mewls.
He noticed her robes were tied differently; done on purpose to hide her growing
belly.
 
Two days later, Jared finished cleaning the kitchen from top to bottom. It was
difficult work that left his back aching and his hands red and raw, but it was
satisfying. No one rushed him. Nicky offered him help but he protested and for
once, she listened.
She looked tired.
Her hand moved to her belly more often than he knew she wanted.
She sat and they chatted about the latest style of robes that were popular in
Meridian while he cleaned. Scrubbing and washing, slowly, the kitchen became
new again. They never allowed it to get dirty or even remotely disorganized,
but a deep clean made everything shiny. Jared looked at his work and smiled.
This was easy; this he knew. This was his place, his duty, his role in this
household and he was deeply appreciative.
Master even praised his work. He slipped Jared two pieces of chocolate and pat
his head before going to his study. Jared shared the second piece with Nicky,
who thanked him multiple times.
 
Together, they curled up at Master’s feet in his study, but that did not last
for long.
He shooed them out and bid them good night.
Confused, Nicky stood in the hallway, shocked and unmoving. Jared tugged her
towards his room. For a moment she hesitated, looking back to Master’s shut
study, but she eventually gave in. Jared passed doll to her as they lay in his
bed. She clung to both Jared and doll, hiding her face, her breathing unsteady.
“I forgot,” she murmured, wiping away at her eyes. “I forgot to tell you why
they left so quickly.”
“They had urgent business you said,” Jared replied, brushing away a piece of
her hair from her face.
With a nod, she said, “I did. But I managed to hear something from the
messenger. A person claiming to be the Doctor’s brother arrived into town. Both
Masters were upset and… frantic, I have to say. Jared, where do they come
from?”
“I still don’t know,” he replied honestly.
“Doll’s dress is made out of a fabric I’ve never seen in Meridian or Maya.”
“I noticed.”
“They frighten me, Jared.”
“I… I know… they… I don’t understand so much about them. He makes me play this
game on a board with him but he doesn’t take me to bed. He treats doll so well
but he doesn’t want pups.”
“They said they’d be back.”
At that, both breeders remained silent for the rest of the night. They settled
in Jared’s bed and had no more talk about Masters. Doll slept between them.
 
Jared had frequently thought about the Doctor’s eyes. They were a color green
he could not find replicated in anything else. Sometimes he felt like he
understood the emotions going through the Doctor—surging and thrumming through
a network of experience and wonder—and those were lovely moments. Moments when
Jared felt like he could understand exactly what the Doctor was feeling and
what he needed. 
Why think of this now? Why hurt more?
Second breeders were specially attuned to the emotions of Masters around them,
particularly to their own Masters. It was in their nature to assess what their
Master needed not just physically, but emotionally as well. Some Masters took
their breeders as reading and writing companions. Jared had no such training—he
had been forced out of the academy too soon—but he was sure he could learn. He
learned the game called chess well enough to consistently win against the
Doctor.
But there were more moments when Jared was overwhelmed with that the Doctor
seemed to be battling with or against. He couldn’t possibly sort out everything
that passed through those eyes.
And it was every day that the weight of his pup on his chest faded.
Jared slept with doll on his chest and he appreciated her.
But nothing could match those precious minutes.
He thought back to his training. He thought about how different he was now
compared to six months ago. He felt entirely different, as if someone had
picked him up and whitewashed him into something clean and new. But he had no
idea how to work as new. New things got old and faded and worn out.
There were some days when Jared missed his old household.
Because Master and Nicky treated Jared as someone who had an opinion. As
someone who deserved a bed and a place at the floor near Master’s feet. When
deep down, Jared knew—because his training told him—that he didn’t deserve
those things.
The feeling that started in his chest and bloomed outwards when he looked at
the Doctor and thought about having his pups and fully understanding who this
Master was, was indescribable.
A breeder might meet hundreds of Masters in their lifetime.
In the two weeks that passed, Jared could only really think of one.
 
For the holidays, Master took them to Maya.
Bundled up in the carriage, Nicky and Jared passed heat boxes back and forth.
She was heavier now, rounder but still not showing completely. It worried Jared
that she looked so tired but she brushed his concerns off and focused on
explaining Maya’s society to him.
“We’ll dine with one of Eli’s business partners,” she said as they rocked in
the carriage. The clop of the horses’ hooves sounded loudly against the cold
ground. There was a frost in the air and Jared felt his cheeks become
permanently pink. He breathed in deep. “He has a first breeder, her name is
Caroline. You’ll like her. She makes the best gingerbread, Eli can eat an
entire tray of it, I swear. And they have this fashion that will suit you so
well! Then there’s the market, which puts Meridian’s to shame. Anything you
could dream of and they have it.”
The journey was considerable and Jared was grateful that he was not made to
walk beside the carriage or dragged behind it. He pushed away those thoughts
and chose to concentrate on doll. He’d brought her with—bundled her up extra in
preparation. He ran his fingers over her cheek.
Master stopped the carriage at an outpost about thirty miles out from the
center of Maya, where they were ultimately headed. He had informed that Jared
was to be on his best behavior during their stay at Master Sean’s household. “I
keep our household relaxed. Sean isn’t of the completely same mindset. You’ll
both be taken care of, however, it will not be like our home. And I expect you
to blend in seamlessly.”
At the outpost, Jared helped Nicky down from the carriage while Master went to
conduct a business transaction. The breeders huddled together for warmth but
decided to duck into the nearest food stall.
“Good afternoon lovelies,” the shop owned crowed, quickly moving towards them.
“What luck has brought you to me today?”
“No luck at all, just passing through, thank you sir,” Nicky replied for the
two of them. The stall was smaller than Jared’s room and the only other people
inside it were two Masters that paid hardly any attention to the breeders.
Trays of food were set out, with prices of each item written delicately on a
card. As Jared examined a tray of sweet rolls, he realized he recognized that
handwriting.
“Is your Master open to sharing your services?” the owner asked gruffly,
rubbing the swell in his trousers. He was a thick Master; sweat shone on his
forehead in the crowded, stuffy stall. Jared felt Nicky flinch.
“No sir, he is most decidedly not,” Nicky snapped. “We’ll take two of the sweet
rolls.”
She pulled out her coin bag and quickly found the proper amount. Jared put his
arm around her waist, standing up as straight as possible. A tall breeder
frightened no one but Jared did not want anyone to think he was unaware of his
surroundings.
“I think he’ll make an exception,” the owner laughed and reached forward to
grab Nicky by her wrist. “Come on, I’ve got a pretty one like you in the back,
too.”
“Stop it!” Nicky shouted, trying to push him off. “I told you no!”
“Quit struggling you disobedient thing!” It was then that Jared noticed a glint
of silver in the owner’s pocket. He was carrying a knife. When Nicky wriggled
in his grasp again, the owner’s free hand went towards the knife. Jared rushed
forward without much thinking.
He knocked the owner off of Nicky and onto the ground. He heard Nicky gasp.
“What is going on out here?!” a familiar voice screeched from behind the stall.
With the rustle of a few sheets and pieces of cloth, a figure made its way into
the stall. The owner was screaming things Jared could technically understand
but was too shocked to listen to at that moment.
“Jared!” Nathaniel huffed. “You!” The blond breeder charged forward and knocked
Jared to the ground, caught by surprise. Out of instinct, Jared submitted to
the breeder beating and slapping him. He merely held his arms up to block a few
of the blows, but he was in the garden all over again.
“I can’t believe you have the nerve to show up here!” Nathaniel screamed,
hitting Jared square in his right eye. “I’ll kill you if it’s the last—ow!”
It took Jared a moment to realize what was going on. His right eye was swollen
shut though he could still see Nicky grabbing Nathaniel by the hair then
shoving him off of Jared.
“Over my dead body,” Nicky spat and struggled with Nathaniel, keeping the other
breeder pinned down. “Jared! Go get Master!”
“It’s fine, I’m here already,” Master grumbled, walking inside the stall, which
he towered in. “Nicky, let that breeder go.”
“No! He’s… I’m not done with him yet!”
“Let him go now,” Master commanded. Jared saw how Master’s eyes went back and
forth to Nicky’s face and her belly. She either noticed or decided to follow
his command because she let go of Nathaniel with a thrust forward, causing him
to drop onto the floor. “Get yourself and Jared into the carriage. Right now!
Go woman, don’t dawdle!”
Nicky grabbed Jared’s hand and pulled them both outside onto the street. They
heard Master argue with the owner and then speak to the witnesses outside.
They left the outpost in a hurry, though Master did not say or given any reason
for why.
Jared was grateful he had left doll in the carriage.
Not another word was spoken as they made the last leg of their journey to
Maya. 
***** Maya *****
Chapter Summary
     Their trip to Maya is not what anyone had expected.
Chapter Notes
     Please read all the tags for warnings. Remember this is dark fic-AU.
     This chapter is a throwback to earlier ones and the treatment of
     breeders in more conversative households.
     Lots of questions hanging over us. Next chapter will have a new
     character--the Doctor's brother.
     Comments, questions, feels, kudos, etc. are all immensely
     appreciated. I have a chronic illness that has been preventing me
     from updating as quickly (typing hurts) but I'm so so so glad y'all
     are still hanging around. Thank you for your patience guys. <3
Maya was unlike Meridian in nearly every way.
It smelled like the lake it was near, even in the colder weather. The downtown
area had expanded with the rest of the city as it became more populated, so
although buildings were still close together, they were newer and lavish. The
government buildings were kept simple in comparison, but were the well-
maintained of any buildings surrounding them. Nothing was out of place.
Despite their late hour of arrival at nearly sundown—after an entire day’s
travel—citizens and visitors were out in high numbers. The streets and walkways
were packed; breeders and Masters were busy gathering things for holiday feasts
and celebrations. Jared watched in awe as a myriad of breeders walked by. Some
were pale, others were dark, some had carefully tied robes in fashions he’d
never seen before and others were naked except for a Master’s collar. All kinds
of languages were being shouted or spoken through the crowds. And even with his
right eye swollen shut, Jared took in as much as possible.
He held Nicky’s hand as he practically vibrated in his seat from excitement.
“Get out and walk beside the carriage, Jared,” Master commanded from his post
outside. “Do you good to get that out of your system now.”
With additional instructions to stay close to the carriage and to refrain from
speaking to anyone, Jared kissed Nicky and quickly followed orders. He hiked
his robes up enough so that he could jump from the carriage and onto the
street. He landed with ease, even with one eye. Master kept the carriage at a
pace that was easy for Jared to match. He wanted doll to see all of this, but
Nicky was holding her and that was for the best.
The young breeder smiled widely as he continued to take down as many details as
he could of this new place. The streets were beautifully paved; his slippers
hardly felt a pebble. Some buildings were like palaces while others were simple
but shone with the quality of expensive materials.
Meridian didn’t have many buildings taller than four stories, mainly because of
a fire risk. But Maya had block after block of structures so tall to Jared, he
had to rest his neck every few minutes. He could study the city without ever
looking down at its actual occupants. As he craned his neck to better see a
sculpture at the top of a building, he bumped into someone. Immediately, he
quickly apologized. The Master who he had come into contact with simply looked
down at him and said, “Quite alright.”
There was no whip, no shove to the ground. In fact, Jared had yet to see
anything like that occur in his short time in Maya. There weren’t even any
visible breeder posts on the walkways or outside of shops. He thought this
curious but did not question it. It wasn’t his place and he was grateful
enough.
After an estimated three miles, the carriage arrived at a household. A breeder
was posted outside, ready to help Master with the horses and carriage. Jared
shied away from the new breeder and helped Nicky out from the carriage. She
took a moment to stretch and look around, but turned her attention to Jared.
“Doesn’t it bother you?” she asked, pointedly. “Why did your old Master sell
his first breeder? What’s he doing in a pathetic stall outside of Maya? Jared!”
He’d looked away from her for a mere moment to watch a shiny, musical cart roll
by. For a bronze piece one could select the song and push a button, where small
pieces of colorful paper would erupt in bursts.
“Sorry,” he replied, regretting his distraction. “It does, but… I have no way
of knowing what happened. Why worry?” They waited beside the carriage for their
instructions.
“Because he wanted to kill you, that’s why!”
“So?”
A first breeder was to be respected. And if that respect involved fear, then so
be it.
Before Nicky could reply, Master commanded them to go to the breeders’ entrance
in the back of the house. Quickly, they followed a narrow walkway. The older
breeder led the way since she had been here once before. Jared felt anxious
about leaving doll in the carriage—tucked under a seat and covered with a
blanket—because he wouldn’t be able to hear her cry if she needed him. But
Nicky had assured him, more than once, that she’d be the safest there. Before
the carriage disappeared from his sight, Jared offered a small prayer for her
safety.
Shortly after, Jared met Caroline, who seemed intent on ignoring his existence
as much as possible. She was shorter than Nicky, but wide and heavy with a
litter. She had red hair and violet eyes, and wore a dark green robe with a
number sewn on the front. Jared wanted to say that she looked severe but that
didn’t seem adequate to describe her. He didn’t understand why Nicky had said
he would like her. The more time they spent in her presence, the less kind she
was.
“Dinner is nearly ready. Can he set a table properly? Serve?” she asked Nicky
as the three of them navigated several hallways and corridors.
“He can. I’ve taught him, Mistress.”
“Well, I suppose we’ll see. Master mentioned a discussion in the main library
tonight. Do you know if this has something to do with your abrupt visit?”
“It’s not my business to know, Mistress,” Nicky replied curtly. She still kept
her head down to show respect.
“Hah!” Caroline sneered. “I know you, Nicky. Any scrap of information you come
across you make it your business.”
“Eli has always shared information with me freely. I am no eavesdropper,” she
insisted.
“Fine, but that doesn’t happen here in our household. Here are your quarters,
unless our Masters require your services tonight.” She showed them a closet
with two pallets and a food bowl inside. There was no window or anything extra
but it was at least clean, as far as Jared could tell. He pressed himself as
close to Nicky as he dared.
Eventually, they walked to the kitchen area, where four other breeders were
busily plating and arranging dinner. Jared had never seen so many breeders in
one household; all wore the same color robe but only two had numbers sewn on.
He’d thought that all households had two breeders, not more.
“Get the mains out of the oven, you,” Caroline ordered Jared. “And you serve
the wine,” she added to Nicky. Both breeders moved to do their jobs.
Trying to adapt to a new kitchen, Jared made several mistakes in a row. He’d
assumed there were gloves for getting things out of the oven.  Caroline hit his
knuckles with a metal rod as she barked at him to stop dawdling and to hurry.
One breeder falling behind could mean punishment for all the rest. Finally,
Jared gave up and took out two large casseroles from the still-on oven.
In his hurry to put down the dishes, Jared bumped into a breeder, who nearly
dropped what she had been carrying. That almost caused a tiny chaotic mess.
Plates were then pushed into his arms and he was sent outside to the dining
room. He prayed for his hands to still.
“I hope your travel here was enjoyable. Don’t know why you insist on driving
that carriage by yourself. A breeder can easily be trained to do the work.”
This came from the Master of the house. He was as tall as Master, but had
different coloring all together. He was darker and had black hair, which he
kept neatly tied. He had a thick beard like Master, but it wasn’t trimmed as
neatly. He eyed Jared openly.
“There’s something about tending to the horses and driving them that’s
satisfying,” Master replied easily. “But thank you. It was a good trip.”
Jared served the house Master first as he had been taught, and then Master.
First course was a hearty salad with shrimp and anchovies. Jared hoped no one
heard the protests of his stomach. With a bow, he took his place on the floor
beside Nicky, close to Master. He kept his head down and focused on both
Masters, trying to anticipate what they might need next. From time to time he
caught snippets of their conversation but not enough to piece together anything
substantial. The next three courses were served by the breeders in the kitchen.
Intricate, delicious smelling dishes were served on silver, glistening
platters. Jared licked his lips when he saw a massive chocolate cake set out,
with a side of whipped cream and strawberries. He bet that the whipped cream
was cool and the cake was still warm.
Usually, if they had company at their household, Master would feed them before
their arrival or toss them pieces of food throughout supper. However, neither
was done here. Jared felt his hunger rise up to the surface of his skin. He
prayed for patience. He could do this. He could.
When both Masters were finished dining, Jared began to clear away a few plates,
piling them in his arms and quickly making trips back and forth to the kitchen.
He kept out of the way of all the other breeders, especially Caroline, who was
busy reprimanding a breeder for the icing on the cake. It had looked lumpy to
Jared but he was no expert in such things and Masters hadn’t noticed.
Jared was about to retreat to help with the dishes when Master commanded his
breeders to follow him. House Master had just suggested to Master that they
retire into the main library. Both breeders followed swiftly and silently. The
household was grander and more sumptuous than Master preferred at home. In
comparison, their household seemed smaller, but Jared was thankful he no longer
slept in a closet or on a pallet. He wondered who had designed this household.
 
It took very little time for the Masters to settle into the library. House
Master sat at a desk, while Master occupied a lounge nearby. Master was served
something dark by the House Master and they toasted each other’s health and
good fortune. Nicky and Jared knelt at Master’s feet without pillows. His knees
hurt but he kept his face neutral.
There was some talk of markets and estates and business that Jared was not able
to keep up with or familiar with at all. He tried to keep from fidgeting but he
was still excited from their brief time in the city. Hopefully, he wondered if
Master might give them bronze pieces once more. This time Jared had things he
wanted to buy: a pair of slippers for doll, a piece of chocolate for himself
and Nicky, and a hair clip for himself. His hair was getting long—it nearly
touched his shoulders in soft waves—but Nicky insisted that it suited him well.
Still, a hair clip would add a sense of elegance and maturity to his
appearance.
“Jared, place yourself on the desk,” Master commanded, his voice firm but
distant. “Belly down and legs spread.” Snapped out of his thoughts, Jared
scrambled to do as he’d been told. The desk had been cleared of any papers or
objects. Although he didn’t like this position—it reminded him of many
things—he was grateful that Nicky and Master were still present. He lay on the
desk so that his cheek touched down on it, his belly was flat, and his legs
spread out. For a moment he waited for something to occur or for any further
instruction. He gave no sound or struggle when his robes were lifted. He did
yelp when a hand was gripped around his cock a second after.
“Large for a breeder his age,” housemaster muttered. “He a good milker?”
“He’ll be a tall one. Suitable for milking but not optimal. Better at tending
to the stables, gardens, and all else,” Master murmured from somewhere Jared
could not turn his head to see.
The hand on his cock moved to his entrance and spread him out. Jared bit down
on his lip to prevent from crying out as three fingers were shoved in at once,
pushed as far as they would go in that one thrust. The young breeder squirmed
and breathed out. “Shame you don’t plug him regularly. He’d be a lot looser if
you did. I doubt he could stand a milking session. Mind if I plug him to see?”
“No, do as you need. He’s quite young, you understand.”
“Yes, I do. This is a precaution. I need to make sure he could take this. This
is a standard size for all my milkers.” Jared heard the sounds of a drawer
being opened and things being pulled out and set onto the desk. He mewled when
the fingers inside him shifted and held him open. He felt a blunt head of
something press against his opening and was about to moan in excitement.
Instead, the plug was thrust into him without warning or help. Jared cried out
and bucked against the Master’s touch.
“Easy now,” house Master grumbled. “This is nothing.” The plug burned and
stretched Jared as he’d never had done to him before. His eyes watered and his
throat dried up. He threw his head back in pain and scratched at the desk,
trying to get his hips away from the plug. Another push he felt it widen.
It was much larger than the machine that had helped him during his heat and any
Master he had ever serviced. It pressed in an awkward way, where he could feel
it bulge out from inside him.
“M-master,” Jared sniffed, twisting around. “Hurts…”
A hard slap hit him on the face.
“Silence!” house Master commanded. “It’s not even half way in you pathetic
breeder.” The plug was kept in but the Master’s weight was gone. “I cannot take
your offer, Eli. He can’t hold a milker plug, his hips are too narrow, and his
cock guarantees nothing. There is nothing extraordinary about this breeder that
I don’t already have in my household or could acquire through other means. He’s
too much of a risk to be purchased right now anyway.”
Jared lay on the desk, hands behind his back, and drifted in and out of dreams
and reality. He hoped that doll was doing alright. The dark could scare her but
he had told her not to be afraid of the carriage.
“Sean, please, reconsider. Both can be trained.”
“Yes but that is not what worries me, Eli.” The House Master sat back down. No
one told Jared to leave the desk so he remained there. “The investigation the
government has opened on your name affects us all. I bought Caroline from you
because I saw potential in her. That investment has paid off. But if I were to
buy not only one—but two—breeders from you at this moment? That sends a red
flag; it’s clear you’re unloading and I would prefer to stay out of it.”
Master stood up and moved towards house Master. “Surely there must be someone
in our network that could buy them. My alternative is less than desirable, I
would give anything to see that not come to fruition. I’ve provided you all
with capable breeders in exchange for their safety. You’ve seen a return on
your investment. Please, assist me with this.”
“There’s not much I can do, Eli,” house Master sighed. “All of my contacts have
responded in the same manner as I. Truly, I wish there were more I could do,
but realistically that is not the case.”
“There has to be someone!”
“I tell you that there is not!” house Master shouted. “I have no use for a
breeder with pups that are not mine and one that can’t even be milked! What
would you have me do with them?”
“Shelter them, Sean! I beg of you.”
“I cannot, Eli. And that is my final answer to your request.”
The room was silent for a moment and it seemed like Master remembered Jared at
last. He motioned for Jared to stand and kneel. Jared had the plug half in so
he stumbled on his way back to Nicky, who looked exhausted and wrecked. She
took the plug out for him and massaged his entrance with her delicate fingers,
though they still did not speak words.
“I’ll take my leave then,” Master stated, motioning to the breeders to get to
the doorway. “I thank you for your generous hospitality, Sean.”
“What! You don’t need to leave now Eli, surely you can stay!”
“No, I cannot. There is too much for me to do and only a limited amount of time
to accomplish these things. Again, your hospitality and generosity continue to
do you credit. Thank you.” Master began to walk out the door and his breeders
pitched forward to keep up. House Master shoved them each out of the way and
caught up with Master.
“Eli, do not throw away our friendship over this matter!”
“I have no other choice! None of you will aid me, now I must aid myself. Call
your breeders to round up my carriage, please.” Both Masters practically ran
down the main staircase, speaking hurriedly. The breeders waited in the main
entryway. Nicky noticed how Jared trembled.
She slipped her hand into his, something he had sorely missed.
“Shh,” Nicky soothed him. “Doll will be waiting for us and you mustn’t upset
her.”
Caroline appeared from the kitchen. She smirked at Nicky and presented her with
a tray of gingerbread.
“As a parting gift,” the first breeder purred. “May you have a lovely holiday.”
 
In the carriage, Nicky opened the tray, ripped away its wrapping and tore
through it. She shook out a piece of paper and something fell from it, dropped
onto the floor with a thud.
It was a dead bird.
The note was written in a simple handwriting: Now you are one of us.
Nicky threw the tray and the bird out of the carriage, out onto road.
“Breeders,” Nicky hissed.
 
They were silent for the rest of the journey.
Jared had two weeks left and he dreaded that time for more reasons than he
cared to think about.
***** Split *****
Chapter Summary
     Back at the household, Jared dreams.
Chapter Notes
     Please read all tags, remember this is dark!fic-AU. Specific warnings
     for this chapter include explicit sex, self-lubrication, male
     lactation/milking, suggestions of mpreg.
     A teaser chapter. I was going to introduce the brother in this
     chapter but I thought this was best left off here.
     Remember that dreams before a heat are prophecies. Nightmares hold
     more weight, but dreams still mean something. We finally get some
     lengthy J2 action in this chapter. XD
     Comments, kudos, questions, feels, etc. are all appreciated and
     loved. I love reading comments while I'm at work, makes my day! Drop
     a line! Thank you so much!
Master pushed the horses hard and had them back at their household by dawn.
He tended to the horses alone, ordering the breeders to get inside and go to
bed. When Nicky tried to ask if he would like something warm to drink and eat,
he snapped at her. She grabbed Jared’s hand and tugged him forward, a blush of
anger in her face. Jared held onto doll as they hurried inside.
The older breeder slept with him and doll that night. He was careful with his
hands but she noticed. With a small sigh, she placed his hand on her belly.
He felt a flutter.
She nodded and gave him a slight smile.
He pressed his hand back to his belly.
The emptiness accused him and he fell into a fitful sleep.
 
When Jared woke up at midday, he remembered his last dream.
It was like sifting through broken glass, with the shards of two separate but
joined windows. Throughout the entire dream he felt himself shift from who he
was at the moment and the Jared in the photograph. At first it scared
him—because Jared in the photograph spoke to the Doctor in tones Jared would
never dare—but he adjusted.
In the beginning of the dream he felt the Doctor’s fingertips skim over his
throat, down his chest, and spiral down to his inner thighs. His fingers were
rough but his touch was filled with awed adoration. There was nothing
experimental with those touches—it was like he knew every part of him, had seen
and felt it over and over again. Jared felt himself purr when the Doctor
slipped a finger inside the hot, slick part of him. The Doctor seemed to think
the breeder needed to be stretched, which he didn’t, but it felt nice and the
other Jared seemed to like it. It meant that the Doctor was taking his time.
And Jared had never felt that before.
The deep, rubbing movements of the Doctor’s finger were enhanced by firm,
biting kisses. The breeder opened his mouth and moaned with a shudder. The
Doctor groaned in response, holding himself up and panting, slipping in another
finger.
He seemed to search for something, though Jared had no idea what.
Coarse stubble scratched at Jared’s chin and cheeks as the Doctor continued
kissing him hungrily, pausing only occasionally to breathe. Jared mewled,
puffing out small breaths of air and shifting his hips up, opening his legs to
accept a third, thick finger. Slick eased the way, but the Doctor’s gentle
movements helped the most. He treated Jared as if he were precious.
He felt his entrance spasm open and shut, with a gush of slick pushing out as
soon as the Doctor’s lips latched onto Jared’s neck. He groaned and mouthed at
the spot before he clamped down fiercely, teeth pressing into the breeder’s
skin swiftly. As he bit he sucked and ran his tongue over the spot. Jared
arched up and felt himself split into two people. Other Jared was more vocal—he
was loud, with a deeper voice—and clawed at the Doctor. Jared was quiet, as he
had been taught, and did not touch the Doctor unless it seemed like the Doctor
wanted to be touched.
Other Jared begged the Doctor to stop teasing.
Jared silently begged the Doctor to keep going.
 
Minutes were skipped forward abruptly, without explanation, and Jared felt
himself propped up. He was sitting up, on the Doctor’s lap, legs wrapped around
the Doctor’s waist. Other Jared had his arms behind his back, lifting him up
and down on the Doctor’s cock. Jared kept his arms wrapped around the Doctor’s
freckled shoulders, clinging as the Doctor thrust up repeatedly, his pace fast
yet deep.
This time Jared echoed other Jared and let out a long, loud moan. He felt slick
build and drip out, causing their movements to sound out through the room. The
Doctor heard these sounds and made a noise in the back of this throat. His hips
lost their rhythm for a moment as Jared pushed out a large amount of slick that
covered the Doctor’s entire cock and hips. “Jesus, fuck,” the Doctor moaned and
closed his eyes. “You’re… holy shit…” Even with all the slick, Jared was tight.
He rolled his hips forward, then pushed backwards and clenched his muscles
expertly, pleased that other Jared did not do this.
The Doctor gasped, his green eyes fluttering open. He placed his shaking hands
on Jared’s shoulders, then pulled them and pressed their lips together.
“Fuck me Jen,” other Jared begged. “Fuck me, please, Jen, please…”
Jared wanted to say something. Wanted to beg to be bred. Wanted to encourage
the Doctor to fuck him until he was full of come and there would be no doubt.
But the Doctor was lost. He pounded into Jared for a few thrusts then shifted
his own hips. He adjusted Jared’s hips slightly. The angle with which he began
to push in at was at first uncomfortable, but then his cock plunged deeper and
pressed something still unfamiliar to Jared.
“Oh, oh, oh,” Jared heard himself gasping. “M-master?! Master! Oh!” It was the
spot only the machine had touched before. And the Doctor let out a soft laugh,
stroked Jared’s back, gripped his ass, and started to pound against it. His
thick cock hit it every time. Jared felt his balls expand and fill with
something warm. He was in heat. He was going to be bred. It was a heady,
intense rush as the Doctor continued to fuck him, grunting and panting with
effort. Jared coaxed him on, trying his best to clench around the cock inside
him. Pressure was a tool he knew how to use. Even though the pressure of the
Doctor's cock was extremely satisfying for him, he could give back just the
same. 
“Gonna… oh shit…” the Doctor muttered, biting on a closed fist. “Jared!”
The breeder’s hips were pushed down, flush against the Doctor’s. The first few
spurts of come had Jared keening. He rocked back and forth, trying to take the
Doctor deeper. He fell back against the bed and started gasping, his hips
thrusting in irregular rhythms as his cock continued to spasm and pump inside
the breeder.
Jared lost it when the Doctor tugged on his cock. He let out a long, warm
stream of milk, covering the Doctor with what would eventually nurture their
pups. The thought itself made Jared shudder in pleasure. He rocked through his
orgasm then had another as the Doctor flipped them so that Jared was on his
back. The Doctor grunted and hitched Jared’s legs up on his shoulders, then
began to pound in and out. His cock was still hard and still coming as the
breeder moaned to a third orgasm.
“Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes,” the Doctor chanted, then squeezed his eyes shut.
Jared felt the Doctor’s cock spurt out the last of his come. Yet he managed to
wring a fourth orgasm out of the breeder, who was trembling and crying with
overwhelming pleasure. He couldn't process everything at once. 
Eventually, the Doctor licked away Jared’s tears.
He held them close, partially collapsed on the breeder, both of them covered in
sweat and milk. The Master’s hands were tangled in Jared’s hair. Jared no
longer felt other Jared. He felt bred and full and alive. They could not steady
their breathing; the Doctor insisted on more kisses despite their state.
After some time had passed, the Doctor lifted himself up and smiled down at
Jared, who was purring softly. “Thank you,” the Doctor whispered and kissed
Jared lightly.
He felt other Jared reply for him. “I love you, Jen.”
 
That was when Jared woke up.
He sat up, startled and in pain. His body was pushing against its controls, his
cock straining to harden. He had released a small amount of milk on the bed and
he was flushed all over. His entrance was leaking heavy, sweet slick and his
forehead was covered in sweat. Memories of his last heat made his mouth go dry.
Quickly, he leaned over and woke up the older breeder.
“I’m in heat,” he blurted out, tears welling up. “I… I want him.”
***** Unwanted *****
Chapter Summary
     Jared goes through another heat and another series of questions.
Chapter Notes
     Please read the tags, etc.
     Short chapter, but a really difficult one for Jared. More answers but
     things are falling into place.
     Comments, kudos, questions, feels, etc. appreciated! Thank you!
The moon returned.
Not that it had ever left.
The pull of it hurt and soothed that hurt all the same. Heavy drapes were
pulled over the windows and Jared hid under a nest of blankets when he could
stand the contact. He was sensitive to everything all at once. Scents that had
never bothered him before, now he could not stand. His stomach rolled
constantly.
On the beginning of the third day—exhausted and parched—Jared began crying
nonstop. Nothing could stop the tears, which scared him, because what would he
do if he never stopped crying? Nicky tried to hold him, but her touch turned
painful. She slipped doll into his arms but even she hurt him. He kept her on
his bed; her sweet expression unchanging no matter how much he cried. Relief
did not pass through him, not even when he was tossing and turning in bed,
actively trying to ease the pressure in his hips. The slick he was producing
was heavier in quantity and thicker this time, which Nicky quietly explained
was something that happened as breeders neared maturity. Shortly after, she
slipped him a tiny piece of chocolate, which he managed to suckle on slowly
until it melted away completely.
Sometimes he cried because the plugs were frustrating and reminded him of the
house Master in Maya, or the auctions at the kennels, or late nights when old
Master wanted Jared prepped with a plug that was too big but Jared was good, he
was a good breeder and he did it. He took it without questioning it because it
was a breeder’s duty to their Master.
Sometimes he cried because he knew no one wanted to breed him.
He began to promise Nicky—in fevered whispers—that if a Master would only give
him a chance, allow him the opportunity, he would be good. He’d make it good
for them, he promised. He could be good, he insisted, clinging to her robes. If
only they’d try.
He offered to cover his face—because maybe that was the problem, he knew he
wasn’t much to look at, not like breeders as beautiful as Nicky—but the older
breeder silenced him, placing her hand over his mouth. “Don’t,” she said with
anger. “Don’t even think of that.”
“Then why does no one want me?” Jared sobbed, trembling and sweating in the
twisted up sheets of his bed. “I don’t need… to keep a pup… I just… wanted one.
Just one. A small one. It wouldn’t take up much space. Please.” He seemed to be
running out of air. The moon changed shape. All he could think about was how
lovely it had been to be stretched open before being bred. How the scratch of
stubble on his face had been pleasantly familiar. The way the Doctor’s handsome
face had gone slack in the dream as he came inside the breeder and other Jared.
How he finally looked at peace afterwards, playing with the soft tendrils of
Jared’s hair. 
The moon told him someone else was in his room. Nicky slipped away from him,
from her place on his bed. Jared tried to focus on the Masters in the room and
tried his best to assume a position of respect but his limbs would not
cooperate.
“He just had a heat two months ago. I thought you have heats every six months?”
“There… we visited someone and they… they plugged him. That might have
triggered it. He’s been very attached to doll lately, also. That might account
for something. But… I beg of you, your friend is hurting him in his refusal.”
That was Nicky’s voice, comforting and familiar to Jared.
“This is difficult, Nicky, please understand that. The age difference… it’s
more than a decade between them. In our place of origin this would be
considered a crime.”
“Would willful ignorance that led to his death be considered a crime? Or would
it be as it is here? Nothing. If he dies because he isn’t bred nothing happens
to any of you.” She spat the last part out with venom. “No one pays a fine, no
one is sent to a courtroom, no one answers to anything or anyone if he dies.
He’d be tossed into mass grave and forgotten and you would leave, not put out
or inconvenienced at all.”
This kind of talk from her scared Jared. He knew it was true.
“Stop,” the other voice replied. “You… he’s my friend. He was Jensen’s lover,
yes, but he was also my friend. I won’t let any of that happen, despite what
you think of us.”
“Prove it,” Nicky dared. “He’s got two days before he either goes mad from the
heat or his body begins shutting down. It doesn't matter if you see him as a
child because he isn't. Are the ways you have both treated him the way you
would treat children? Then why not this? When his life depends on it?” Her
breath started to come faster. "You don't get to pick and choose at your
convenience how you treat him! Either you both truly treat him as a youth and
leave him alone or you treat him as he is and your friend does what needs to be
done. It isn't a matter of want anymore."
Jared didn’t know if there was some kind of reply to her or not. He stretched
out and got up, then managed to hobble over to the bathroom, where Nicky had a
tub ready. Reaching out for the edge of the tub, he was able to heft himself
in. The water bothered him at first, but the more he submerged himself, the
better he felt. When he rose up, the Judge was standing near the tub. His blue
eyes were dimmed and he was dressed in wrinkled clothing.
“Jared, may I speak to you?” he asked, wringing his hands nervously. “Can you
understand me?”
The breeder looked him over with cloudy eyes and nodded.
The Judge took a deep breath. “Thank you. I… Jared, would it… We aren’t in a
position to keep a pup right now, Jared. Your Master has made us a proposition,
one that is very difficult to turn down.”
“You don’t want to buy me anymore?” Jared asked softly and rubbed the water out
of his eyes.
Something inside the Judge seemed to break further. It seemed like he had aged
so much in so little time. “Of course we do. It’s just that, your Master, Eli,
has changed the provisions of our previous agreement.” The Judge took a seat at
the edge of the tub. He blocked the moon, which Jared was grateful for. “It
seems that your old Master has brought forward allegations of abolitionist
beliefs against Eli. He thinks Eli is working to free you and other breeders.
The government is taking this claim very seriously and it has your Master very
anxious. He wants to sell both of you before the government can take you away.”
“I don’t want to go back to the kennels,” Jared mewled, his throat dry but his
feelings clearer after being in the tub. “Please?”
“No, of course not. It’s just that… Eli tried to sell you to others, knowing
that we had a standing agreement. He doesn’t think we can take care of you but
now he’s run out of options. Do you understand, Jared? Both you and Nicky must
leave here.”
“Where will I go? Can I stay with her?” Images of them on the streets of
Meridian, at the mercy of strange Masters, filled him with heavy dread.
“It’s not simple at all, Jared.” The Judge sighed and rolled his shoulders
forward. “You used to tell me that nothing was ever simple and yet everything
was nothing but simplicity. Jesus. Anyway. I’m upset with Eli for trying to
break our contract just because he thinks you’d be better placed with someone
else. And now what was simple has become even more complicated. He won’t sell
you to us unless we buy Nicky as well. And that… we were not prepared to do.”
The breeder was about to say something—anything—but another Master he had never
seen before broke into the room, looking enraged and frantic.
He looked like Jared, like the Jared in the photograph. But he was taller and
older than that Jared. He was dressed much like the Judge, in clothes that were
worn and wrinkled, with boots that sounded firm against the tile as he stomped
towards the tub. The Judge and he exchanged some words before this mysterious
Master pushed the Judge out of his way. He reached forward and grabbed Jared by
the arm, then yanked him out of the tub.
“We’re going! Right the fuck now! This wasn’t a difficult job, look at him!
Look at you!” new Master shouted at Jared, shaking him. “What have they done to
you?! How can you… how can you be this way?!”
“I’m… I’m… s-sorry Master!” Jared yelped as he was pushed to the floor.
“Get some clothes on Jared and fucking hurry! Misha, I trusted you! I trusted
both of you to bring him back and fucking fix this shit! Stop gaping Jare, get
dressed!”
“You were supposed to stay downstairs god dammit!” the Judge yelled. “This
isn’t as simple as just bringing him back, Jeff! You can’t just take him out of
here!”
“Watch me!” new Master roared and threatened to punch the Judge. “You were
going to leave him here to be this… this thing! I can’t believe you! And I
can’t believe that Jensen would do this. That’s what really fucking gets me.
They get married and then this shit happens and what does that fucker do? Get
up, Jared!”
Jared had no idea what to do. He had to listen to this new Master, but this new
Master wants him to leave and Master has not given Jared permission. Too much
is going on and the moon hurts. His hips ached. The weight on his chest is gone
and it depresses Jared, makes him numb to everything going on around him.
“Jared!” new Master shouted in Jared’s face. “Wake up! C’mon, wake up!” Large
hands are on Jared’s shoulders and he is shaken so hard his nose begins to
bleed. All he could do was cry and wiggle in the Master’s grip. He felt the
bruises form.
“Get your hands off of him.” The new Master is shoved away from Jared by the
Doctor, who charged without hesitation. “You can be confused and angry and
fucking upset all you want, Jeff! But you’re not going to hurt him. I’ve
fucking done enough of that already.”
“Jensen,” the Judge blurted out. “It’s nearly midnight.”
“I already signed the papers,” the Doctor snapped, then looked at Jared. “I
bought you. Well, technically Misha bought you but you’re ours now. A week
early.” There was no happiness or light in the Doctor’s eyes as he announced
that. All Jared saw was a devotion to finish whatever he had come to do in
Meridian. And apparently, this was it.
Jared realized that he was curled up on the tile floor, trying to guess who was
closest to him and who could be trusted to stay. He was wet, cold, and tired.
So tired.
The three Masters argued about Jared for five minutes before the Doctor
realized that Jared wasn’t moving. He’d passed out on the bathroom floor.
“Nicky!” Jared could hear the Judge scream. He felt very far away, which was
good, because this wasn’t working out.
“Jared!” the Doctor cried out and scooped Jared up. The moon relayed all of
this information to him. “Buddy, hang on. Hang on.”
A kiss was pressed to Jared’s forehead seconds before he felt a hand grab his
ankle.
***** First *****
Chapter Summary
     The Doctor has control over Jared's chip and makes an important
     decision.
Chapter Notes
     Short chapter! No specific warnings, just mentions/descriptions of
     heat.
     Comments, etc. appreciated! More later on.
A warm, wet cloth was pressed to Jared’s forehead.
He woke up slowly, taking his time to feel himself sink back into his body. He
was lying down on a bed that wasn’t his, unclothed but covered in a light
sheet. The moon pulled him but he resisted, groaning as he felt how dry his
throat was. The cloth was gently eased into his mouth and he suckled, grateful
that whoever was near understood.
Closing his eyes once more, he breathed deep, unbothered by the fresh scent of
the sheets under him. Quietly, he tossed and turned, trying to find a
comfortable position to lie in. A warm hand was placed on his head and cautious
fingers played with his hair. The touch didn’t hurt, though it stung at first.
The room was dark and silent, things the young breeder was appreciative of. No
one was shouting, grabbing at him, or commanding him to do things.
Minutes later, he opened his eyes and met green ones.
The Doctor gave him a tender smile but his eyes betrayed him.
Jared sat up to ask, but the Doctor shook his head. “No, no, just rest.
Please.”
He was dressed very differently this time, wearing a tailored, fitted, beige
suit and fine, shiny boots. The breeder looked on, admiring the lines of the
suit and how it hugged at the muscles underneath it. The color of the material
and the crisp white shirt he wore brought out the green in the Doctor’s eyes.
Truly, the Doctor was a handsome man. Jared felt himself flush with want. He
was more lucid than before, and calmer, but he felt is heat thrum under his
skin. The Doctor’s freckles stood out, even in the dim room.
The Master licked his lips, and then bit on his bottom lip. He did not look at
the breeder.
“I had a dream. A nightmare. I…” he turned his head and blocked his face from
view. “I killed you. Literally, beat you to death.”
The quiet of the room made Jared’s gasp louder than it actually was. The
Doctor’s shoulders trembled.
“I couldn’t stop. I didn’t stop. My god… you’ve… you dreamt this for a while
now, haven’t you? Why didn’t you tell me?” he moved to face Jared, his green
eyes desperate. “How could you even stand to speak to me after that? Jared?”
His body was starting to press back into its heat at a full force. Heat filled
him; pressure pushed into his hips, sweat broke out all over him. He scrunched
his face up as he felt slick build up.
“Just… just a… dream,” Jared managed to say, through his discomfort and the
drought in his throat. “Not you.”
The Doctor gave a short, cold laugh. “You’re so sweet, Jared.”
The last thing he felt was sweet, but if the Doctor said so, it must be true.
This was his new Master. This would be the Master he would serve and obey no
matter what—until he was sold again. Or possibly, Jared bitterly thought, left
behind.
He wanted to explain to the Doctor that the nightmares and dreams before or
during a heat were important to breeders, but Jared didn’t want to live his
life according to superstition. He wanted to ask the Doctor if he could stay
with him until he reached the same age as older Jared. Would he be able to love
Jared the same? The moon pushed away all those questions and Jared moaned,
breathing out heavily. The Doctor’s touch was blazing.
“He gave me your control,” the Doctor murmured, shoulders drooped as if in
defeat. “I thought it was something I could hold. But I see it in my head.” He
extended an arm forward and swiped at something Jared couldn’t see. “Everything
is here. Memories, dreams, the controls to your heat…” The Doctor cleared his
throat. “He switched that on a few days ago.” Another bitter laugh escaped the
Doctor’s handsome mouth. “He knocked up your friend because he knew we wouldn’t
touch her that way. And he pushed you like this because he knew… I could never
let you… well… let’s not talk about that.”
Gingerly, the Doctor took the rag and wet it again in a pail of water beside
the bed. He cleaned the sweat off of Jared’s forehead and face, then placed a
kiss on the tip of his nose. It was a gesture so sweet, Jared couldn’t explain
the feelings behind it.
“I’m switching you to first breeder, Jared. And I’m not giving up the pup. I’m
going to take care of it and you, so long as you let me.”
With a nod, Jared gave his consent.
Happiness fluttered in his chest and he couldn’t help the smile that bloomed.
The Doctor returned the smile and joined him on the bed, holding Jared against
him as he made a few movements with his right hand. Jared closed his eyes and
curled up, warm and at a momentary ease.
He felt his chip hum.
First breeder. He was going to be a first breeder.
***** Opened *****
Chapter Summary
     Jared's heat is addressed by a new Master.
Chapter Notes
     PLEASE read the tags for warnings! Specific warnings to this chapter
     include: explicit m/m anal sex, rimming, self-lubrication, milking,
     multiple orgasms. This is a chapter with SEX--proceed with that in
     mind.
     /fans self/ phew! This chapter! Extra long chapter for extra smut
     capacity.
     Imagine the controls as something only the holder can see in their
     vision/mind.
     Also, I did make a tumblr for this fic:
     ittakesalotofwater.tumblr.com. It's mainly a place for me to post
     things I can't here, like songs and pictures. There is now a photo
     manip/painting of what Jared looks like in this fic. Y'all can go see
     it (but excuse my mistakes!).
     Comments, kudos, questions, feels, etc. are all appreciated and
     loved! Thank you for reading!
A breeder’s biology is complicated yet simple.
Jared knew a small amount of information based on his time at the academy and
his interactions with other breeders. At the heart of any breeder’s knowledge
was the basic fact that breeders bred.
A first breeder, however, was not intended to breed for quantity, but for
quality.
A first breeder was chosen based on their ability—judged by their Master and
the academy—to breed superior citizens. The offspring of first breeders were
not called pups, but children. These children would be future Masters in charge
of governing districts, or perhaps successful merchants, or politicians, or
high ranking government officials.
The majority of pups that were sent off to government facilities were raised
and trained for combat. Jared understood that the government needed breeders to
provide soldiers for the army. He knew that he was doing his government an
honorable service when he had a litter of pups; he was providing freedom. At
least, that’s what he had been told.
A first breeder was usually highly respected in many regards, across all
classes. The first breeder of a household was an important and necessary
station. A household would provide the government with two crucial elements:
future prominent Masters and numbers for the military.
There were hierarchies of first breeders. Sought after for their beauty and
their superior bloodlines, some first breeders came from extensive, long-
established families. They had lineages that had provided the world with great
thinkers and geniuses—Masters who had gone on to do remarkable acts in the
world.
Jared did not come from one of those lines.
But he knew some of those first breeders could trace their bloodlines all the
way back to the first handful of breeders. These breeders were always in high
demand, with some matches made in infancy. They were models to all other first
breeders—and to some degree, second breeders—in behavior, manners,
responsibilities, fashion, and service. Jared was just proud to be thought of
as good enough to be a first breeder to any Master, especially to a Master as
handsome as the Doctor. And while Jared knew he had a complicated relationship
with the Doctor—with so many things unanswered and unexplained—he was still
grateful for the opportunity to be a first breeder. The very thought of it made
his thoughts spin.
 
A breeder’s biology could be changed at the discretion of their Master, but it
was not as simple as turning a switch on and off. Masters were taught that
while a breeder’s body could change, it shouldn’t change too often, as to
protect the potential offspring. It was widely understood that the power to
change a breeder from second to first—or first to second, which was less
common—should only be done once every few years if desired. There were a
variety of circumstances that made these changes necessary to each household,
but Jared had always been a second breeder, even though he had been promised
the title of a first breeder when he was younger.
Being a first breeder meant being respected. And it meant serving a Master in a
very profound and personal way. Overwhelmingly, a second breeder’s pups would
never know the Master who helped create them—even in a family, they were kept
separate. But a first breeder provided a Master with children, who would
eventually make up a family.
The young breeder felt his chip hum, but he couldn’t pinpoint the origin of the
humming. He felt it all over his body, combining with the sensations from his
heat. He leaned back against the Doctor’s chest and closed his eyes, focused on
breathing.
The change often didn’t hurt healthy breeders. Some initial discomfort was to
be expected, as far as Jared understood and had heard from other breeders. The
Doctor pressed his lips in a spot under Jared’s ear and nipped gently, then
began to hum a tune, softly and slowly. He pressed his right hand to Jared’s
belly and pressed down with careful pressure.
“Does it hurt?” the Doctor murmured, then licked at the place he’d nipped.
“No,” Jared breathed out and tilted his head, exposing his throat in desire and
submission. “Feels okay, Master.”
He could feel the Doctor frown for a moment, but it disappeared quickly. The
Doctor remained silent as Jared’s chip continued to alter his body.
The best way the young breeder could describe the process was by thinking about
a balloon. Hot air filled a balloon deep inside him and pushed the balloon
outward, then inward, and around. Then the balloon would deflate and expand all
over again. Jared breathed in deep, then let out a long, deep moan, eyes
fluttering as he felt pressure increase in his hips and cock. His body strained
against the controls still placed on it and he flinched as his cock tried to
harden.
“Shit, I don’t know how to turn that off,” the Doctor muttered and sat up a
bit. He extended his arm again and swiped at a screen Jared couldn’t see.
He knew very little about controls, because breeders had no reason to know
anything about them. But he did know that the control to a chip was not, in
fact, an actual control a Master held in their hand. It made the fact that the
Doctor was a foreigner stand out even more. All Masters were familiar with the
controls to breeders. It was basic education for them, no matter what their
station or rank or family. A Master could have the controls to multiple
breeders at once, though Jared understood that this required paperwork and
special permits. The professors at the academy had temporary control of their
chips while they were enrolled.
The controls to a breeder’s chip could be seen in the mind of a Master, played
out on a screen. Some Masters were adept at managing the controls with subtle
movements of their fingers, so it was barely noticeable. Master Eli had never
made a change to his or Nicky’s chips while they were in his presence; some
Masters were more discreet that way.
It was almost funny how the Doctor could not get used to the screen in his
mind. Jared buried his face in his new Master’s chest and tried to keep from
grinding against his leg. The balloon was refilling and his heat was
intensifying. It made him dizzy and lightheaded. Somewhere through the fog of
everything, he needed to know where Nicky was, where doll was, and what else
was going on in their household. He didn’t even know what room they were in, it
was so dark. But the moon refused to have his mind focus on anything that
wasn’t his heat.
“Please,” Jared mewled, grabbing onto the Doctor’s shirt. “Please?”
With a flinch, the Doctor noticed that the sheets were wet with slick. Jared
hiccupped and tried to close his legs, to prevent any more from dripping out,
but all movement hurt. His throat was closing up with dryness.
“Uh, yeah,” the Doctor gulped. “Just… I wanna turn this off.”
He continued to swipe at things, moving his hand frantically. “I can’t fucking
find the control to your… uh… you know. Jesus… how much is on here? Fuck. Maybe
I should go ask…”
Jared began to tremble with desperation and anxiety. Would the Doctor change
his mind? He was enamored with the idea of Jared, but could he handle the
reality of owning a breeder? Jared was unsure, even though the thought of
belonging to the Doctor initially made him happy.
There was soft knock at the door.
Without waiting for a response, the door was opened. Jared stayed still and
tried to ignore the Doctor’s abrupt movement away from him, as if they’d been
caught doing something wrong. Maybe Jared was doing something wrong and the
Doctor didn’t want to be seen with a breeder that did whatever that thing was.
Confused, Jared began to silently cry, covering his face with the sheet he’d
tossed aside a few minutes ago. The burn of the Doctor’s hand on his belly
remained.
“I should have known you’d find some way to mess this up.”
The voice belonged to Nicky. Jared nearly laughed with relief. She moved
towards him and wrapped him up in her arms. The touch caused pain but he clung
to her anyway. She smelled like vanilla and peaches; she’d just had a bath.
“It’s not like I’m not trying,” the Doctor replied, firmly. “I’m trying my
best, here.”
She tensed up and looked at the Doctor from her position with Jared. “You’ve
swept in and saved the day, Doctor, who could possibly fault you for that?” she
said with bitterness. “It’s not enough to mean well. Not anymore. You’re
responsible for us now. He’s too afraid to upset you to tell you what he
wants.”
“If I can see his memories and dreams then why can’t I read his mind? Why isn’t
that a feature on these things?” he continued to swipe at screens, eyes reading
through pages quickly.
Nicky sat up and distanced herself from Jared, so to cause him less pain, but
she kissed his cheek lightly. “It’s our one area where a Master cannot see or
control, but it’s not like they haven’t tried.” She sighed and had Jared lay
down, which he complied. He trusted her. “He’s changed you, hasn’t he?”
The younger breeder nodded, spread out on the bed, flushed with heat and
trembling.
The older breeder gave a sad smile. “Congratulations. Now, spread your legs so
I can see that all is well.”
He did so without any hesitation. When he felt her fingers press at his wet
entrance, he yelped in pain. A push of slick happened involuntarily. She
examined him as lightly and tenderly as possible. “You’re fine,” she said to
him then turned to the Doctor. “You need to breed him. Are you hesitating for
some larger reason?”
Jared looked over to the Doctor, who blushed and fidgeted in his place. “No, I
just… I’m so afraid of fucking this up. I have to confess, I don’t know what
I’m doing.”
“Well, that’s a start,” she grumbled and tossed her hair back. She smiled at
Jared. “Would you feel better if I stayed with you for the first part?”
His throat was useless, so he nodded but gauged the reaction on the Doctor’s
face. What if the Doctor didn’t want the extra company? “Don’t worry about
him,” Nicky commanded gently. “He wants to make you happy, don’t you?” She
looked at the Doctor, who gave a nod. “I’ll leave once he gets a better
understanding.”
“Doll?” Jared managed to ask.
“In your room,” she whispered and leaned down to kiss his cheek again. “Wait
one moment, please.”
Fluidly, she stood and walked over to the Doctor, then stood beside him. She
spoke directly to him with a confidence Jared always admired. “You need to stop
thinking you’re doing something wrong by doing this,” she commanded, her tone
towards him less than gentle. “It may be illegal where you come from but it’s
not illegal here. You’ve purchased him, you’ve promised him things, and now it
is time for you to deliver on those things. Flip your screen all the way to the
end. Keep scrolling. The controls to our genitals are usually kept in the
back.”
With a curt tone, she continued to instruct the Doctor, who followed her every
command. “You need to unlock two controls. One for his cock and the other for
the ability to orgasm. If that’s what you want.”
“Of course it is,” the Doctor sighed. “I want… I mean, if this has to happen, I
want him to feel good.”
“It’s not just a matter of physical need,” Nicky snapped. “For this all to have
any chance at working, you need to pay more attention. We haven’t got time for
that now. Did you find them?”
“Yeah, both unlocked.”
“Alright. I’ll hold him until I feel that he is safe.”
“How… uh...” the Doctor cleared his throat. “What’s the best way?”
“I pray for patience,” Nicky grumbled and moved over to Jared. “Jared, does
your back bother you?”
He reached for her, despite the discomfort. The pressure had grown and the moon
was closer. He arched his hips up and mewled. She understood. “He’s fine on his
back. From behind is better for optimal breeding, but that shouldn’t be a
problem.”
“Why?”
“He’s young, getting him bred isn’t an issue. Carrying to term is. You don’t
know anything about us, do you? Do you even realize how dangerous that is?”
“Now I do.”
“Hmm. Well, begin.”
“Just… like that?”
Even Jared could feel Nicky’s mounting frustration. “Yes!” she snapped. “My
goodness. What kind of Master are you?!”
Jared reached out towards her and tried to refrain from rubbing himself on the
sheets. He enjoyed the fact that the Doctor was listening to Nicky, but he
could no longer wait.
“Okay, okay,” the Doctor snapped back. “Just… can I do this my way for a
moment?” Jared heard the hurried rustle of clothes being shed, which excited
him. He kneed and spread his legs for easy access and to show off his heat,
which he thought would please Master. Instead, Master just seemed confused for
a moment; he treaded forward and eased himself onto the bed, kneeling. Jared
was afraid to make any move without cues from the Doctor—he had no previous
experience with the Doctor this way, beyond earlier, shameful attempts. He
prayed that he would be good at servicing his new Master.
He could learn quickly. Already, he understood that the Doctor preferred not to
make eye contact during service. Jared could do that. He kept his eyes focused
elsewhere. When the Doctor kissed him, Jared closed his eyes.
Many Masters did not bother with kisses. It got in the way of a second
breeder’s ultimate purpose. But he had seen old Master and Nathaniel kiss, even
when not in the bedroom. That was, Jared supposed, another gift bestowed on
first breeders. They received more physically affectionate attention. Jared
heard himself purr; he opened his mouth and let their tongues slip together.
The Doctor tilted Jared’s head back and pressed them closer, getting as deep as
he could. In between kisses, Jared could feel small bites and nips at his
bottom lip, which he enjoyed but found trying. Why was the Doctor so cautious?
“He’s trying to show you affection,” Nicky whispered, behind him. She was
kneeling and he was in the space between her legs, propped up against her, his
back to her chest. Jared gave a small nod to acknowledge that he’d heard her.
It still didn’t make any sense to him. The Doctor breathed out and licked
Jared’s bottom lip before he pulled away. Jared stretched out, pushing his hips
towards the Doctor, and noticed that the Master was only half hard. The breeder
himself was hard but unaccustomed to the sensation, so it was unremarkable for
now. More alarming was the fact that the Doctor could not breed him in that
state.
“I’m going to try something,” the Doctor announced, his voice heavy and thick.
“If you… you don’t like it, you can tell me to stop and I won’t be upset,
Jared. Okay? Or tell Nicky and she can tell me.”
The younger breeder nodded and braced himself for whatever the Doctor was
thinking to do.
 
He didn’t expect what happened next.
It seemed to happen in slow motion. Even Nicky tensed up.
Scooted down further on the bed, bent down in a submissive position, the Doctor
positioned himself so that his mouth was near Jared’s entrance. Before Jared
could protest—could tell the Master that this was not something Master’s did—he
felt a rough tongue lap at his hole.
This caused the breeder to flinch from a surge of pleasure. He spread his legs
out and panted heavily, breaths coming shorter and faster as the Doctor’s
tongue continued lapping and licking away at the slick there. Jared groaned a
warning and felt himself push out more slick due to his spike in arousal. The
Doctor swept it up quickly, tongue moving deftly; the stubble on his face
rubbed against tender skin and caused Jared to keen. He couldn’t help but roll
his hips and move, seeking more stimulation. He felt his entrance flutter open
and shut, begging for something more substantial.
A moment was taken for the Doctor to pull back and wipe his lush mouth with the
back of his hand. He licked his lips—which assured Jared he found the taste
acceptable—and resumed his work. Jared tossed his head back, rocking against
Nicky, groaning when the talented tongue pushed in with a squelch. In and out,
the Doctor’s tongue flickered and rubbed in provocative circles. Occasionally,
the Doctor would take his lips and press them against the hole, suck, and then
press his tongue in as far as it could go.
The stimulation was intoxicating. Jared had never experienced this. He didn’t
even know what to call it. He only knew he wanted more of it, more of
everything.
It took him a minute to realize that the Doctor was not only moving his tongue
faster, but he was also grinding against the bed. The sight made Jared’s heart
beat faster. He keened again and bucked up when the Doctor sucked on his tender
entrance. This time, the Doctor wrapped a strong arm around Jared’s hips and
held him down, diving in deeper, slick covered his mouth, chin, and jaw. Held
down, Jared only squirmed and wiggled, moaning louder as he was worked open
slowly. The breeder yelped in pleasure as a firm hand grasped his ass and
groped, hard enough to leave a mark, he was sure of it. The hand then aided in
holding him open. The Doctor pulled back once more, his eyes dark and
promising, then resumed without any warning. Jared’s breath hitched and he saw
his own cock throb.
“Shit,” the Doctor breathed, pulling away and sitting up, wiping his now red
mouth. “Fuck…” he stroked his cock with two swipes of his hand. Jared mewled at
the sight, eager and excited for the thick, heavy weight that hung between the
Doctor’s powerful thighs.
“Do it,” Nicky snipped, sounding breathless. “Take it easy. Don’t tear him.
Pay… pay attention. I’ll go now. Jared, there’s a bell if you need me.” She
sounded irritated but off—Jared couldn’t exactly ask at the moment. She placed
a bell near him, then a pillow under him to replace her, and left with a quiet
shut of the door.
Alone, the Doctor looked at Jared, who looked at him back. He didn’t seem to
mind the eye contact now.
“You’ll tell me if it hurts?” he asked, lining himself up between Jared’s legs.
“Please.”
“Yes,” Jared managed to whisper back. He pushed his hips up. The moon felt like
it was right outside the window.
When the thick, blunt head of his Master’s cock pressed against his opening,
Jared thought he wouldn’t be able to do it. He thought his heart might very
well beat out of his chest. With a cry, he pushed back and felt the pressure in
his hips let up.
“Oh fuck,” the Doctor groaned, pressing in. “Oh god, Jared. Holy fuck. You’re…
you’re taking me right in, holy shit. Fuck.”
Solid, firm, and large, Master’s cock breeched him. Jared shook with pleasure.
He reached up and placed his hands on the Doctor’s shoulders. The Doctor leaned
down and kissed him sloppily; Jared tasted himself over and over again. His
opening worked at pulling the Doctor in all the way, slick pumping and muscles
clenching. Master’s eyes rolled and his hips stuttered. Jared hiccupped and
wrapped his legs around the Doctor’s trim waist.
“Can I move? Oh god, can I move?” Master panted, begging for an answer.
Jared nodded.
He braced himself.
 
He’d never been penetrated this way, facing up, on his back. He’d always been
taken from behind, his face pressed down onto whatever surface he’d been on at
the time. This way though, he got to see his Master’s reactions. The Doctor’s
mouth hung open and his face looked relaxed as he began to thrust. Jared moaned
as he felt the Doctor’s cock swell and jerk; he encouraged more of that by
clenching his muscles and rolling his hips to meet the Doctor’s thrusts.
A large, firm hand wrapped itself around Jared’s own cock. He gasped and shot
up, slick gushing, dripping down onto the Doctor’s thighs.
“God damn,” the Doctor moaned, long lashes fluttering. “Ohh shit.” He reached
down and squeezed his own cock with his free hand. Then, he changed their
position. He hefted Jared onto his lap, so that Jared was sitting directly on
his cock, which was buried to the hilt, twitching and throbbing wildly.
“Ride me, oh fuck, ride me,” the Doctor begged. This seemed familiar to Jared
but he couldn’t pinpoint why or how. For the moment, he complied all too
eagerly. The Doctor helped him pump up and down, providing deep, hard
counterthrusts. Jared nearly screamed when that spot inside him was hit.
“Hold on, hold on.” The Doctor adjusted them so that Jared was kneeling
slightly. The Doctor held him open, spreading his ass, and began plunging
upwards, slamming his cock against that spot. Jared shook, cried out, and felt
two things happen at once: slick pushed out and his cock spurted. He hammered
himself down on Master’s cock, squirting milk and come all over Master’s chest
and stomach. The Doctor placed a hand on Jared’s cock and began milking him,
pulling at the breeder’s cock rapidly, thrusting and hitting that spot at the
same time.
“Oh! Oh! Master!” Jared hoarsely screamed, clinging to the Doctor. “Nnngh!”
Jared felt another orgasm rip through him, another surge of milk following. His
balls expanded some, his cock ached, and the Doctor kept fucking him steadily.
They both collapsed onto the bed, Jared on his back once again, and the Doctor
pounded him into the soft mattress. The bed started squeaking, the Doctor was
groaning and grunting with effort, and Jared couldn’t get enough of any of it.
He clawed at the Doctor’s back and held on as a third orgasm emerged. He made a
mass of both of them, a large quantity of milk released.
“Again, again, oh shit, again,” Master gasped. “Come for me again. Come for me
sweetheart. Again. Oh shit, again.”
Jared wordlessly complied. The spot inside him was firmly hit and he trembled
with another climax. Trembling and panting, covered in sweat and his own come,
Jared began to cry from overstimulation. It was painfully exquisite. The bed
was damp and wet beneath them.
When the Doctor began to pound in without any rhythm or reason, Jared knew he
was close. He watched the muscles in the Doctor’s back and stomach work. The
breeder felt Master’s cock give a sudden twitch. In a whirlwind of groans and
growls, the Doctor began to come. Jared worked the cock as hard and fast as he
could from his position. He felt come and slick mix together, then rolled his
eyes, and began to come for one last time.
“Yes, yes, yes,” the Doctor hissed, his hips making circles, balls slapping
against Jared’s ass. “Come hard baby. Come hard.” Jared didn’t expect a hand to
reappear, but it did, and he was milked through his last, hardest orgasm. It
hit him with an intensity he had never felt when servicing.
Minutes passed before they calmed down enough to breath steadily.
Boneless, Jared gave a satisfied sigh.
The Doctor gave a similar sigh and collapsed on top of the breeder, who didn’t
mind. Together, they lay there, ignoring the mess and state of things around
them. Jared boldly pressed a kiss to Master’s forehead, then began to play with
his hair.
“Mmm,” the Doctor rumbled. “Good?”
“Y-yes,” Jared replied, shuddering at the thought of servicing Master again.
“Thank you.”
“Thank you,” Master murmured. “Don’ thin' I can walk anymore.”
Jared laughed and was about to say something when he was silenced by a kiss,
which was lazy and sloppy and sweet.
 
The moon left. Jared was happy.
He closed his eyes and breathed in the Doctor’s scent.
He felt his heat switch out for something else. He fell asleep with the
Doctor’s hand protectively placed over his belly.
It was a good change.
***** Left *****
Chapter Summary
     Unease and anxiety follow Jared's heat.
Chapter Notes
     PLEASE read the tags for warnings! Remember this is still dark!fic-
     AU. Warnings specific to this chapter are memories of past abuse, and
     a reference to suicide. Proceed with caution, please.
     Hey y'all. Just to let you know, if there were a major or minor
     character death, I would warn you in the tags and these notes a few
     chapters ahead. I'm not that mean and I definitely don't want people
     triggered.
     We made it to 40 chapters! Still so much to explore and find out
     about! Thank you SO MUCH for sticking with me for 40 chapters and
     90k. I love you all, you guys are the best audience ever. <3
     Questions, comments, kudos, feels, etc. are all appreciated. Thank
     you!
Twice during the night, Jared woke up, distraught and startled.
And each time, despite being a heavy sleeper, the Doctor woke up as well and
coaxed Jared back to sleep. They slept pressed against each other, with the
Doctor’s right arm slung over Jared the entire night. When Jared woke up at
dawn—a long established habit—he began to clean things around them. Before
they’d passed out, they had stripped the bed of all its sheets and blankets,
which were now in a bundle on the floor. Jared knew he could wash them quickly
and have them useable by dinner.
However, things were not that simple.
He was exhausted from his heat and their previous night’s activities, the
thought of which made Jared blush. He wondered if he would ever get the courage
to ask his new Master to do that thing with his mouth again. Lightly
contemplating this, Jared pushed himself off the bed and staggered over towards
the bedding. There was no soreness, but he was tired and in need of a few
things. The pail of water was thankfully next to the bedding. He took a deep
drink from it, finding it an immense relief even if it was room temperature.
Quickly, he gathered up the bedding and padded over to the adjoining bathroom.
Before he disappeared to begin his daily chores, Jared looked back at the
Doctor’s still deeply sleeping form. He allowed himself to linger over Master’s
body for longer than appropriate. He turned away with a blush on his face, and
began to wash the bed clothes.
He couldn’t help but hum softly as he put together a wash in the tub. In a
matter of minutes, despite his exhaustion, he had the sheets washed, wrung, and
hung to dry. He cleaned himself off with a rag and a pail of water; he didn’t
want to risk making any noise by running a tub for himself to bathe. And for
all the things that he had to look forward to, he couldn’t help but feel a
strong undercurrent of unease.
 
As quietly as he’d slipped from bed, he left the room. The Doctor remained
asleep, though before leaving, Jared had covered him with an extra blanket kept
under the bed. Master looked peaceful and much younger asleep—like a heavy
weight was lifted—which made Jared wonder what Master was like when he was a
young boy. Had he had someone like a breeder take care of him? How did things
work where Master came from? He thought of all these things as he made his way
through the household. They’d spent the night in a guest room in the rarely
used south wing, which was slightly isolated. Frustrated with all the things he
still did not know, which were rapidly outweighing recent joyful changes, he
began to run towards the kitchen. Fatigue weighed him down but he pressed
onward. There hadn’t been any spare robes in the guest room, so he was without
clothing for the moment, and quite cold, but he had to find the older breeder.
The silence throughout the household created a panic within him.
No one had explicitly said what would happen to Nicky. Or if they had, Jared
had passed out before hearing it.
She was not in the kitchen. She was not there, making bread or washing fruit or
taking a batch of muffins from the oven. She was not there, waiting for him to
join her, an easy, affectionate smile on her face.
Always one to wake early, her absence alarmed him. He peered out a window that
overlooked the grounds and gardens, but saw nothing, only frost on the grass.
Where had she slept the night before? How much had changed in such a small
amount of time? Jared’s heart pounded and he struggled to catch his breath.
Running, he took the main stairs to his room.
He expected to run in and find her there, sleeping still perhaps, or tending to
doll.
He wanted her there—needed her there—with her lovely smile and beautiful black
hair swept behind her shoulder.
She was not there.
Doll was, and she felt alone and upset, so Jared hurriedly took her into his
arms before running again. He checked everywhere—his bathroom, her room,
Master’s empty suite, and the main library. Afraid of disturbing anyone, he did
not call out for her, and he didn’t think he could either. His throat was tight
with terror. They had sold her overnight. Was that possible? But why? She was
ten times the breeder he was or would ever be. She kept a pristine household
and often helped Master with business. He didn’t know how anyone couldn’t see
her or her skills as valuable to a Master’s household.
 
The last place he looked was the attic.
When he first scanned the attic, he saw no one.
Upon closer sight, he saw her, curled up at the window, looking outside. She
heard him and turned to face him. “I thought you’d sleep longer,” she murmured
and turned back.
“What happened?” Jared blurted out, scrambling towards her. She was dressed in
a black robe, which often signified mourning. Her eyes were red and there was
an angry mark on the side of her face, as if she had been struck. He reached
forward to touch her but she flinched and he refrained.
She looked so fragile.
And she did not make eye contact with Jared as she spoke. “Eli has left. He
left a few hours ago.”
“But why?”
“His family offered him shelter. He’s gone.”
Her left hand was under her belly. She was showing more. Bitterly, she closed
her eyes and wiped away at her tears. “He hit me when I tried to leave with
him. Said it was for my own good.”
Jared sat next to her and carefully placed an arm over her shoulder. She didn’t
flinch away this time, but neither did she cling to him. He hesitated to say
anything, but ended up trying. “But they bought us. We have new Masters now.”
It shocked him when she gave a cold, sour laugh. She’d never sounded like that
before. “No, Jared. They bought you. And I’m happy for you—you will be a
wonderful first breeder—but they did not buy me. I’m just part of the
contract.” She took a deep breath and looked at him. The sorrow there hurt him.
“They’ll sell me soon.”
“No, they… I won’t… I’ll try to…” Jared stammered out half formed responses,
which were all petty, pathetic things he knew weren’t true or wouldn’t happen.
“It’s alright,” she replied with a sigh. She placed a hand on his. “I’ll do
fine.”
Jared remembered his first time in the kennels.
He hadn’t been entirely sure what servicing a Master entailed. He’d been taught
the basics but no one had taught him or the breeders that some Masters
preferred breeders to hurt during service. His first time underneath a Master
had been excruciating and confusing. Beyond the physical pain of being held
down and bred—whipped and beaten occasionally if his hips moved too much—what
had hurt the most was having been promised that he would be the first breeder
of a fine household. That illusion of being cared for and desired, when it
crashed down on him as soon as the auctioneers dragged him away from the
Master’s house, had cut wounds into Jared he’d never completely healed from.
Until he’d met Nicky.
His first night in the kennels he had successfully blocked out, but his second
and third nights roamed his memory on occasion, seemingly inexhaustible at
causing Jared pain by their presence.
He’d told her—one night when Master allowed them to climb one of the smaller
trees near the garden while he sat on the porch—everything that had happened to
him in those two days. The first time he’d been hosed down, the first time he’d
been tied down on the platform, and the first time he’d been discounted
steeply, with silence filling the auction house.
And in turn, she had told him all her own stories back. How a Master hadn’t
even wanted to bother taking her to auction; he’d dragged her out of the
household and chained her to the side of the road, with a sign that read two
simple words: free breeder. An official had picked her up but took two days to
arrive; in those two days it never stopped raining, and two strange carriages
stopped only to whip her for her unknown crimes.
Like him, she had arrived at the auction house filthy and bleeding. When she
was not purchased on her first round, she had resigned herself to a future on a
farm, forgotten and milked to death, tossed out in a grave surrounded by any
pups she might have managed to give birth to but had been born unmoving.
He knew that was what she was thinking as they looked at each other in that
moment.
“Make sure he treats you well, all of them,” she whispered, holding both of his
hands although hers were trembling. “Eli said they need to move away from
Meridian and Maya, to the East, somewhere near Lee. It’s warm there. You’re
free to take some seedlings.”
“No,” Jared sniffed. “No, I don’t want to leave you.”
“Shh. You can keep doll.”
“It’s not just that!” Jared cried and held onto her desperately. “You’re my
friend.”
 
Before she could reply, there was a knock on the door to the attic. Neither
breeder moved or said anything. The door was then unlocked and pushed open with
a thud. The Doctor emerged, green eyes squinting and hair still in disarray. He
wore a pair of cotton shorts but nothing else. With a yawn, he heaved himself
up.
“C’mon, get your ass up here,” he grumbled towards the floor. “They’re both
here.”
“Thank god,” the Judge’s voice sounded. His black hair popped up, followed by
alert blue eyes. “I don’t know why we didn’t check here first like I said.”
“It’s six in the morning, shut up,” the Doctor snapped at the Judge. He walked
over, taking cautions but heavy steps towards the breeders at the window. Jared
searched for signs of anger, waited to be punished. The Doctor yawned again,
then looked down at the breeders. “Why are you two crying?”
“Not any reason for your concern,” Nicky practically hissed.
“And you say I’m cranky in the morning,” the Doctor muttered towards the Judge,
who was now beside him. The Judge merely waved the Doctor off. Jared tightened
his hold on Nicky and she did the same.
“Jared,” the Judge spoke. “Nicky. Do you think we’re selling either of you?”
It was difficult to reply to that question, so Jared took Nicky’s cue and
remained silence.
Ever persistent, the Judge spoke again. “Okay, my fault, I do apologize. I just
wanted to clarify that although we were not prepared to… have another breeder’s
company, we have made adequate arrangements for Nicky to stay with us for the
foreseeable future. And if a time comes when we must leave, we will be sure to
find a household for Nicky that will provide for her. That part is in the
contract.”
Those words should have soothed the tension in Jared’s chest. They should have
gotten rid of the memories in Nicky’s eyes.
They didn’t.
Nicky mumbled a thank you to the Judge and turned away from all of them.
Jared pressed doll into her arms.
He looked up at the Doctor, who seemed confused but sad.
“I wouldn’t separate you like that,” he said to Jared.
“What about… if we leave?” Jared boldly asked.
The Doctor shook his head. “Buddy, I don’t know what’s going to happen. I don’t
have all the answers.”
Unpleased, Jared looked away. Tense silence surrounded them.
“I’ll make us breakfast,” the Judge announced and began walking towards the
open attic entrance. “I believe someone taught me how to make pancakes last
time. Let’s hope I don’t ruin them.”
With a sigh, Nicky shook her head. She hugged Jared close to her, squeezing
them together.
“Thank you,” she whispered. “Go take a bath.” She glanced towards the Doctor.
“Show him your room.”
He obeyed her but lingered behind. “I’ll be down soon,” she promised. “Just a
moment.”
Jared left with the Doctor but did not feel better.
 
When she did not reemerge from the attic half an hour later, Jared ran back up
there.
He screamed her name this time.
He feared the worst.
The very worst.
 
 
“Don’t scream,” she murmured, stretching as she stood up from the sill. “It’s
rude.”
 
He couldn’t help but lift her up and spin her around in relief.
 
 
“Who is that Master who was here before?” Jared asked the Doctor as they both
sat on Jared’s bed. The Doctor wanted to spend some time with the breeder
before they joined the Judge and Nicky for an early meal downstairs. According
to Master, this morning had been difficult.
“He’s… Jeff is… well, he’s very close to me. Like a brother.” The Doctor rested
his chin on Jared’s shoulder, holding him securely on his lap. His voice
rumbled near Jared’s ear, accent in full force. “Misha sent him back to town
for a day. We’ll have to leave tonight. Eli left a detailed letter. Guess he’s
given us a place to stay somewhere out of here. Soon as we get there, we’ll
figure out other things.”
The breeder nodded and leaned back into the Doctor’s arms and chest. “Do you
need anything, Master?”
Immediately, the Doctor tensed up. “Jared. In your head, what do you refer to
me as?”
“Uh… M-master? The… the Doctor…” Jared replied honestly. “What should I refer
to you as, Master?”
“Jensen. I told you before, call me Jensen,” he chided gently. “It’ll make me
feel better.”
“I… I will try,” the breeder promised and bared his throat in submission,
hoping the act would be taken as a sign of respect and dedication. The
Doctor—Jensen—kissed him there instead.
“I’ve got something for you,” Jensen said in a low tone, mouth near Jared’s
ear. “Close your eyes.”
Immediately, without any question, Jared obeyed. He was frightened for a
second, but forced himself to remain calm. The Doctor rustled around inside a
bag from his spot on the bed. Jared heard the crinkling of something like
paper. Something the size of a large potato was placed in his lap.
“Okay, open up.”
The something was foreign and curious. It was alarmingly colorful and brighter
than anything that small Jared had seen before. He was afraid to touch it; it
looked delicate.
“Uh, well…” Jensen coughed. “It’s a present. For you. They’re your favorite.
Well, they were. Are. They are your favorite. You’ll like them. I hope. Maybe.
Here.” Jensen sounded flustered, which further confused Jared. Breeders could
receive gifts but Jared didn’t even know what this was. The Doctor held up the
package and untied a ribbon at its top. It crinkled open and Jensen—the
Doctor—reached inside and grabbed two tiny, bright red and orange shapes.
“They’re bears,” Jared said, looking at them closely. Jensen extended his palm
in offering; Jared cautiously took one. “Do I eat it?”
“Yeah buddy. You eat it. See?” He popped his bear into his mouth and chewed.
Jared watched with rapt attention, but when he tried the bear, it was very
sweet. He nearly spat it out, yet refrained from doing so; the last thing he
wanted was for the Doctor to think he would be ungrateful. It wasn’t as
satisfying as chocolate, but Jared liked the texture.
He was given another and another and another, all by the Doctor—Jensen. He
began to purr as the taste had become delicious. He nipped pieces from Jensen’s
fingers, which made the Doctor laugh.
The breeder smiled wide and blushed; he stood up from Jensen’s lap.
He held his hand out.
Jensen accepted.
They started walking towards the bath, but a few steps away, Jared ran back
into the room. He placed doll on her nightstand and grabbed the crinkly bag.
“Can I bring the bears?” Jared asked, holding them at his chest.
“Whatever you want buddy,” Jensen replied with a smile. “Just get in here.” 
***** Arguments *****
Chapter Summary
     Tensions are high as the Masters and breeders adjust to each other.
Chapter Notes
     Short chapter with no specific warnings, just angst.
     Thank goodness for the Judge! Mr. Mediator, he is.
     Nicky and Jensen are butting heads about who gets to take care of
     Jared. I think we are all pretty protective of him by now. /clings/
     More later! But comments, questions, feels, etc. are appreciated and
     loved. <3 Thank you for reading!
The rest of the morning did not go as smoothly.
Nicky held back Jared’s hair as he threw up into a basin in the kitchen. During
breakfast, which the Judge had laid out himself, Jared began to feel his
stomach protest and a sour taste invaded his mouth. He made it as far as the
kitchen, into the basin that they normally kept for trips to the garden.
“What did you feed him?” Nicky snapped at the Doctor—Jensen. “That looks…
Jared, what did you eat?!” The color of what he was vomiting alarmed her but he
couldn’t exactly explain much when he was busy throwing up.
“It was just gummy bears,” Jensen said, in a tone that sounded a lot like a
guilty child speaking.
“And how much of that did he have to eat?”
“Uh… maybe a bag…”
Jared heard Nicky huff. She rubbed a circle on his back, which made him feel
better. “We aren’t fed things that are that rich or sweet. Eli only gave us a
piece of two of chocolate at a time for a reason. His stomach can’t handle that
kind of food, especially an entire bag. Do I have to explain everything to you
about breeders?”
“Look, I didn’t know! Okay, so maybe I shouldn’t have given him the whole bag
but I didn’t know it’d make him sick!” the Doctor—Jensen—sounded worried. Maybe
he was already regretting his purchase.
The young breeder clung to the edge of the basin, exhausted and drained. Nicky
held a cup of warm water to his lips and had him drink a few sips. It tasted
bitter; she’d mixed in some herbs. He kept his sips down for two minutes before
it all came back up. The fatigue that he felt from the previous night, combined
with the events of the morning, hit Jared hard. He’d also been changed from
second to first breeder and while it hadn’t hurt, it had taken a significant
amount of his energy and strength to complete it properly. He didn’t feel any
different—other than his heat was gone—but he hadn’t expected the process to
drain him completely. He was disappointed with himself; things had been going
so well and it had seemed like Jensen enjoyed their time together.
It seemed like the bolder Jared was, the more Jensen liked him.
And the more Jared acted like the breeder he had always been, the more Jensen
avoided eye contact. He could not be bold or confident or outgoing while curled
up against the basin, mewling for Nicky to stop giving him water. The tips of
his fingers tingled, as if he were sewing and pricking himself repeatedly on
the needle.
The edges of his vision were beginning to go black when Nicky pulled his hair,
forced his head back, and pushed liquid into him. He choked and bucked but her
hands were determined.
“Stay awake,” she commanded, her grip firm despite Jared’s meager attempts to
struggle. “Jared, listen to me. Jared. Drink the tea.”
He began to tremble and pushed at her involuntarily, trying to get away from
the liquid. He didn’t want to throw it up again. When she kept pushing, he
cried out and wrenched away from her. Persistent, she followed after him and
held him down, despite her belly. Slowly, he started to swallow, and she licked
away the tears on his face, cooing as he kept the water down for more than a
few minutes.
They lay together on the cold floor of the kitchen and she rocked him to
calmness.
Things were foggy around him, but he was aware of speech around him. Jared’s
eyes felt heavy. He wanted to sleep. But he also didn’t want to disappoint
Jensen. He’d just purchased a breeder who couldn’t even stay awake. He pushed
himself to keep his eyes open and tried to follow whatever was being said
around him.
“What was that? Has that ever happened to him before?” came the voice of the
Judge.
Nicky held onto Jared tighter. “No. It never has. I told you, you can’t feed
him just anything. We don’t digest things like you do. And he doesn’t know how
to say no to you yet. All he wants to do is please you and that’s… not his
fault.” He felt her tense up and saw her flick her hair over her shoulder.
“Help me take him to his room and I’ll take care of him from there.”
“I can…”
“No,” she snapped. “You’ve done enough today, Doctor. He needs to rest. It
might seem like nothing to you but changing him, then breeding him, and now
this—it has exhausted him. He can’t rest if you’re near, he’s too busy thinking
about what you need, what you want, what you expect of him, how he can be good.
Stay here and finish your business, whatever it is that you have to do.”
The Judge interceded, his tone cautious but calm. “Jen, I think you should
listen to her. She knows what she’s doing.”
“I could take care of him just fine,” the Doctor shouted, causing Nicky to
flinch and Jared to curl up. “I did take care of him!”
Tense and annoyed, Nicky shouted back, matching the Doctor’s volume, a
dangerous thing for a breeder to do. “You obviously can’t now,” Nicky hissed.
“And you insist on arguing about this in front of him instead of doing what
I’ve asked and letting him rest. He may be your property but I’m still here and
I won’t let you treat us like this.”
Again, the Judge stepped in. “No one doubts that you did take care of him, Jen,
I know you did. But you have to listen to her,” the Judge implored, his usually
happy tone now somber. “Let her do what she needs to and you can visit with him
later, isn’t that right?”
A moment passed but Nicky gave a hesitant nod. She stroked Jared’s cheek and
tucked a stray strand of hair behind his ear. “Fine,” she muttered.
“Let me help you with him then,” the Judge said quickly. Jared felt himself
hefted up. The trip from the kitchen to his room was a blur and he did not
remember it, but when he was laid down on his bed, he sighed in gratitude. When
Nicky climbed into bed with him, he curled up to her. She had shed her robes
before slipping in and covering them with thick quilts.
The room was peaceful, filled with a comfortable silence he had grown used to
in his time with her. They had spent endless mornings and nights together.
Sometimes their time was spent trading secrets. But sometimes they didn't speak
at all and Jared learned just as much. He wondered if that was what Jensen felt
about older Jared. He wondered how disappointed Jensen would be when Jared woke
up, because he could not keep down a bag of colorful bears as older Jared
supposedly could. It felt like Jared made progress then he did something to
ruin it.
She seemed to sense his thoughts and growing anxiety. 
“Sleep for now,” she whispered. “I’ll wake you soon to drink more and then
we’ll take a bath.”
He gave a nod and breathed her in, his head resting against her chest. She was
softer than she had been before, which meant the litter she was carrying was
past the most precarious stage. He wrapped an arm around her and shut his eyes.
 
The last thing he heard her say was a soft, shaky, “Oh, Jared. What’ll happen
to us?”
He dreamt of a dark red room.
***** Moving *****
Chapter Summary
     The breeders and their new Masters sit down for dinner and their move
     is discussed.
Chapter Notes
     Shorter chapter. Please read the tags, etc. etc. Remember this is
     dark fic-AU.
     Moving along!
     I have yet to reply to some of your brilliant comments, but I will
     get to them!
     Comments, questions, kudos, feels, etc. are all appreciated! Now I
     run off to work. Thank you for reading!
When Jared woke up, Nicky informed him that he’d slept through the day and into
the next. It was almost time for supper when he finally opened his eyes for
longer than thirty seconds.
“I woke you twice,” she murmured as they shifted around in their nest of
blankets. “Once to give you tea and make sure you didn’t retch it back up.
Another time to feed you a piece of bread to settle your stomach.”
“I’m sorry,” he whispered, then yawned and stretched. “I caused you trouble.”
She seemed tired, drained of energy, and he realized that she probably hadn’t
slept much herself. “Don’t. Don’t start to worry, Jared. I’m fine, just tired.
And the Masters are fine. They took care of themselves last night and this
morning. I haven’t smelled smoke so they probably just made sandwiches.” At
this, she rolled away from him and sat up in bed.
He admired her form from where he lay.
The older breeder was many things he wanted to be: beautiful, elegant, and
strong. Her long black hair fell over her shoulders and dangled at the small of
her back. Though her back was covered in the same kinds of spidery scars Jared
had, they seemed regal on her. She wore them differently.
“Jared,” she said, her tone soft but serious. She was turned towards the
nightstand, facing away from him. “I… I don’t mean to speak over you. But… if I
ever had a pup like you, I’d want someone to speak for them if they could not.”
“You don’t speak over me,” he blurted out, ready to prove her wrong.
Her shoulders shook. “Jared, you are always so eager to please those you care
for. And sometimes… that is not a bad thing. But for us it can be a dangerous
thing.” With a sniff and a swipe at her eyes, she turned back to him. “Promise
me you will think twice about eating what he offers you? At least we can start
there.”
“Yes, I will be more careful,” he replied quickly. After a moment, he added,
“But… they were delicious.”
She laughed and kissed his forehead. “I’m sure they were. And they can be in
small quantities. Your puke was rainbow colored.”
“I ruined our basin!”
“Yes, you did. Unless you’d like to keep using it?”
“I would never!” he laughed and playfully nipped at her shoulder. They curled
up in each other, underneath the blankets, and for another hour, their lives
were much the same as before. It was almost as if Jared would hear a bell and
Master Eli would be waiting for them in his favorite study. The fact that Jared
hadn’t gotten a chance to say goodbye to Master Eli saddened him, but he pushed
those feelings aside. He enjoyed his time with Nicky because she was sweet and
familiar and he trusted her. She could press her hands anywhere on him and he
would not flinch or move away. And for her it was the same.
When a bell did ring, Jared froze. Nicky flinched but sighed.
She kissed him and pinned him down to the bed, straddling his hips. “We’re
leaving tomorrow.”
Jared gasped but she kissed him again, this time harder, more demanding. He
gave in and kissed back the same way, biting her bottom lip and tugging.
“They’re taking us to Lee,” she breathed and kissed down the bridge of his
nose. “I own nothing but this is what I’ve known for two years. I gave birth
to… to… he’s out there…”
The younger breeder understood.
Not only would they be leaving a household they knew intimately—where they each
had their own rooms and spaces to call theirs—they would be leaving behind the
clearing. And those tiny bodies at the edge of the forest would never be
cleaned or taken care of ever again.
When she fell into him, sobbing unlike he’d heard her do before, he panicked
for a moment. What could he do? What could he say? There was nothing he could
do to make things better.
And that was one of the worst things Jared began to realize: sometimes there
was no answer.
 
The two breeders shared a quick bath and dressed for supper. They put on their
thickest robes, since the household was warm in only a few places. Jared was
once again thankful that he was allowed inside this winter season.
Momentarily, his thoughts turned to the summer.
He would be carrying in the summer this time; he would give birth when there
would be sunlight out. These thoughts made him happy.
Nicky and Jared held hands as they walked through the household; each of them
tried not to think of the next day. Jared focused on his thoughts about
summertime. He would be making lemonade and sparkling drinks for the
Doctor—Jensen—in the summer as he was almost to the end of his last term. Lee
was supposed to have warmer weather overall, so Jared assumed their summers
would be bright and hot. He enjoyed being in the sun, though he did not care
for being in the sun for hours at a time picking vegetables. But that was his
duty and he would do it again if the Doctor—Jensen—asked him to.
When they entered the kitchen, both breeders were stunned.
The kitchen was a mess.
Pots and pans were scattered everywhere, some with unrecognizable goop in them.
Vegetable peels and ends invaded the countertop. Jared thought he even saw
something on the ceiling. He held his breath in horror, chewing anxiously on
his bottom lip.
He’d be whipped for something like that at old Master’s household. Whipped and
dragged outside to spend the night.
“Oh! You’re here!” the Judge said, walking in, oven mitts on his hands. He
looked alarmed to see their reactions but gave them both a small smile. “Uh,
I’m very sorry. It looks worse than it is! I’ll clean up afterwards, you don’t
have to worry. But I just served so let’s sit, shall we?” He was dressed in
nothing more than a pair of trousers and a loose, billowy blue shirt. He wasn’t
even wearing boots; his toes wiggled freely.
Jared knew his mouth was hanging open at the sight of everything.
Nicky cleared her throat and stood up straight. “This will take hours for us to
clean.”
The Judge stopped moving and looked around. He then spoke to her directly. “No.
It’ll take me hours to clean. I made the mess, I’ll clean it up. I’ll probably
even coax the good Doctor into helping me. So, please, can we be seated? Jared,
you must be hungry.”
He was, but he didn’t want to admit that to a Master.
The older breeder frowned and shook her head. She looked like she was going to
say something but decided against it. Quietly, they walked into the dining
room, where four places were set at the table. But what was different was that
no one was at the head. It confused and disappointed Jared. Master Eli truly
was gone. Nicky seemed to feel the same way; she squeezed his hand.
The Doctor—Jensen—sat at the table, on the right side, closest to the kitchen.
He looked up briefly, then, almost as if he hadn’t been expecting them,
scrambled to his feet.
“Jared! Are you… how are you feeling?”
Surprisingly, Nicky gave Jared a gentle push towards the Doctor. Jared stepped
forward and squeaked when the Doctor moved and embraced Jared. The embrace
didn’t last long—and the Doctor blushed and cleared his throat after it—but
Jared found he didn’t mind it at all. A chair was held out for him. Cautiously,
he sat down, and watched as Jensen sat down after him, on the same side of the
table. He then glanced over and made sure that Nicky was sitting down as well,
which she was, looking slightly nervous.
They exchanged the same nervous look.
There was very little time for Jared to adjust to everything that had happened
in his life ever since the Doctor had entered it. Before, his life had had its
challenges, but it had been consistent and he had known what to expect. He knew
his place in the world.
But there was only so much change that the young breeder could take at once. It
was all incredibly overwhelming; he had no idea how he was supposed to feel or
what he was supposed to do in the company of these Masters. Because as much as
he could call the Doctor by his name, Jensen was still a Master. And now Jensen
was his Master. The enormity of all these changes was indescribable to Jared.
He’d gone from having a stable household in which Master Eli had seen to all
their care to being bred for the first time in a year to being changed from
second to first breeder to now having a completely new Master. And so little
information was given to him that he found it easiest to be as complacent as
possible. The energy it took for Nicky to speak out was exhausting her but
Jared understood it as necessary. He often shamed himself for his own
passivity.
 
At the moment, their supper was very awkward and filled with tangible tension.
The Judge presented them with dish after dish of food, which looked strange to
Jared. He craved a piece of chocolate or a few slices of apple and cheese, but
none of those things were on the table. Instinctively, he reprimanded himself.
Breeders should not crave things; they should be grateful for what their
Masters fed them.
He was very grateful these Masters fed him at all.
A breeder never forgot the way hunger felt and although the food seemed odd,
Jared accepted the plate that Jensen passed him. The young breeder waited until
everyone was settled in their places. Both breeders waited for the Masters to
begin eating first, which seemed to make the Masters uncomfortable, but they
dug in.
“I made you something simple for your stomach,” the Judge said to Jared, who
immediately looked up from his plate. “It’s just buttered noodles with a little
bit of salt and pepper. And some grilled chicken. I’m really surprised that
chicken comes in packages here. Everything else is home grown.”
“Eli said they go to the butcher in town,” Jensen said. He looked at Jared. “Is
it okay? Taste alright? I helped. Sort of.”
“You stirred the noodles,” the Judge snipped with a laugh. “Hardly helping.”
“Silence you,” Jensen snipped back, then refocused his attention on the
breeder. “I apologize for yesterday. I’ll be more careful in the future, I
assure you.”
“It’s delicious,” Jared replied honestly. He was careful not to slurp his
noodles. Nicky had made simple things before when he hadn’t been feeling well,
and this was very close. “Thank you.” He didn’t know how to reply to an apology
from a Master, especially his Master, so he kept to his plate. Nicky had a
plate of something different and she asked the Judge to explain it to her.
“Well, I thought noodles would be easier so I made macaroni and cheese. It’s
like… a casserole? It’s just noodles and cheese basically, but I added some of
the vegetables in the bin. I tried to use up as much as I could find in the
pantry. So! There’s that…” The Judge began to list off the names of some of the
dishes in front of them. Jared wondered if they would be asked to learn these
new dishes. He wondered what the kitchen was like in their new household. He
would miss this one.
Silence lulled over them as they all finished up. Jared could not finish what
was on his plate, but he tried.
“You don’t have to eat it all,” Nicky said to him from across the table. She
then looked up at both Masters. “Or would you prefer that we did?” She also had
food left on her plate. The portions had been extremely generous for what they
were used to but Jared didn’t want to seem ungrateful. And he didn’t want to be
punished—as he had been in the kennels—for not clearing his plate. Maybe Master
wanted him to gain a bit of weight. He had no way of knowing, so it was best to
assume that he should eat the entire portion of noodles.
“Oh, no, not at all!” the Judge quickly said. “Please, don’t force yourselves.
I might have gotten carried away with serving. But I would like you both to eat
what you’d like, don’t hold back.”
“Yeah, it’s alright,” Jensen murmured and placed a hand on Jared’s. His green
eyes were soft tonight. “You don’t have to finish.”
“Thank you Master,” Jared replied but immediately regretted it when Jensen
frowned. He had forgotten that Jensen preferred not to be called Master out
loud. He braced himself for something to happen. Anything could happen. He
could be smacked, hit, or shoved. He could be shouted at, his hair grabbed, and
then flung to the floor. Jared had noticed that unlike the Judge, Jensen wore
his boots.
“We’ll work on that,” was the reply that came from Jensen.
It left Jared shocked and confused and grateful. His Master was so good, so
patient.
“Uh, anyway,” Jensen muttered and cleared his throat. “We do have to get going
tomorrow. Actually, we’ll be leaving at midnight so we can make it to town by
dawn. We each have business to close up in Meridian before we can leave.”
“Yes, but we’ve taken care of all the necessary arrangements,” the Judge added.
“And what of your companion?” Nicky asked, pushing her plate aside. She avoided
eye contact with anyone, including Jared.
“Jeff? He’ll come with us,” Jensen answered, then added, “…for now.”
“He’s been in town alerting people of our departure. I think the story we went
with was that I have a relative in dire need in Lee. Hopefully this doesn’t
seem too extreme for the people of Meridian.”
Nicky shook her head. “Doctors come and go all the time as their business
dictates. It is more infrequent for a Judge to leave so soon, but it has
happened.”
“Can… can I help with the wagon?” Jared asked, looking at Jensen. “Master Eli
used to let me.”
“It’s cold outside, Jared. I’d prefer that you stay inside.”
“Oh. Yes, of course.”
He fidgeted in his seat. He wanted to ask what they were supposed to be doing
while the Masters packed and prepared. While some things in the household Jared
called “his”—like his room and his blankets and his robes—nothing technically
belonged to him. Nicky had said it before: they didn’t actually own anything.
Everything they had was Master’s.
“It must be difficult leaving so suddenly,” the Judge spoke, his tone gentle.
“But ah… Jen, we haven’t even addressed what they can bring with them.”
The Doctor flinched in his seat. “Fuck. I mean. Shit.” He looked at Nicky and
Jared. “You can each bring the clothes you have and a pack of your own. Jared,
you can bring doll. I… I’d like it if you did.”
A quiet but relieved thank you was said. Nicky gave him a small smile and a
nod. She stood up, which shocked Jared, because both Masters were still seated.
“If you’ll excuse me, please.”
She didn’t wait for a reply; she left.
Jared knew where she was going and he moved to follow after her.
“Oh, please, let me,” the Judge murmured to Jared, getting up from his seat.
“I’ll go speak to her. You two stay here. Jen, maybe you want to move into the
living room?”
Rushing, the Judge followed after Nicky, into the kitchen and outside. Jared
wondered how the Judge knew she would go to the clearing—and how the Judge knew
the clearing existed in the first place. He hoped he wouldn’t punish Nicky.
These thoughts were pushed aside when Jensen stood up. Jared’s attention
snapped back to his Master.
“Can I interest you and doll in a game of chess?” Jensen asked, his eyes
playful. “Maybe she’ll give me some kind of secret at winning against you.”
Jared smiled widely. 
***** Tracked *****
Chapter Summary
     The breeders pass their final night in Master Eli's household and
     make the journey to Meridian.
Chapter Notes
     PLEASE read the tags for warnings. Remember that this is dark!fic-AU.
     Specific warnings for this chapter include explicit sex and violence.
     Proceed with caution.
     I should warn y'all that the next few chapters will be darker than
     recent ones, more like chapters we started with. You should prepare
     yourselves for that and read accordingly.
     Questions, comments, kudos, feels, etc. are all greatly appreciated.
     Thank you for reading.
     *Edit: For those of y'all on Tumblr, there is an account attached to
     this fic. ittakesalotofwater is the handle. I've just put up a manip
     of Nicky, for those who have asked/been interested. Thanks!*
Their games of chess were playful and enjoyable. Jared set doll up beside the
board so she could observe, and Jensen went so far as to pat her on the head.
It made the breeder happy. It gave him hope for how this Master would treat
their child.
A first breeder provided future heirs for households. Not all of a first
breeder’s children were kept at the household—some were still sent off at
birth, like the pups from second breeders. However, there were distinctions
made between children and pups when they were picked up by government
officials, and it was generally believed that children went to higher ranking
facilities than pups. Some Masters enjoyed large families, some only wanted one
or two children around, it all varied. Jared hoped he could keep as many
children as possible, though he would ultimately obey his Master’s desires. He
was extremely content with the promise of keeping this one, their first
together.
Observing Jensen, Jared learned that he had very little patience for the
physical inactivity of chess. So Jared wondered why he bothered. Why not
suggest another activity? And, if Jared was being an honest breeder, Jensen was
not entirely very… good… at the game. Their matches were over quickly; Jared
often won, though he never held the fact over Master’s head or gloated in any
way.
On their third game, Jared took some time to notice a few details about Jensen,
while he waited for his turn. The freckled on Jensen’s face were lighter, but
his hair was darker, almost a coffee with milk kind of light brown. He had a
bit of a beard, which had the same red tint to it, which Jared still found
charming. He could study the Master’s features for hours. Like the Judge,
Jensen was dressed in simple gray trousers and a basic black shirt, with the
sleeves rolled up. This afforded the breeder a very generous view of Jensen’s
forearms and their own dustings of freckles. Jensen wasn’t as muscular as
Master Eli—in fact, his waist was trim and his form, while tall, was mostly
lean—but anyone could see the muscles that lay beneath.
A breeder shouldn’t have any personal opinion about their Master or their
Master’s appearance. However, Jared wholeheartedly believed that his Master was
not only handsome, but desirable. Jared thought himself extremely fortunate to
be attracted to Jensen. Though it was confusing to know that older Jared had
also quite obviously, felt the same way at some point.
“You… you look really good tonight, Jared,” Jensen said quietly, which eased
the breeder back into the moment. “I hope you’re feeling better.”
“Thank you,” Jared stammered out, blushing something fierce. “I am. The noodles
helped. They were tasty.”
“I did help stir and strain them,” Jensen remarked with a broad, inviting
smirk.
“That was very kind of you.”
“Mmhmm…” Jensen leaned forward, over the chess board. Jared couldn’t read his
expression, which unnerved him; a breeder should anticipate a Master’s wants
and needs at all times. Jared could guess but he was terrified of guessing
wrong, as he had done before with Jensen. So, he waited, still as possible.
Master ended up kissing him, firm yet gentle, causing Jared’s breath to escape
him.
With the casual, deep drawl Jared enjoyed, Jensen asked, “Is this okay?” When
the breeder nodded, their game was nudged aside and the two were sitting side
by side.
Jared thought, for just a moment, how odd it was for a Master to ask a
breeder’s opinion about kissing. Before Jared knew it, they were kissing
freely, with warmth and zeal that Jared was wholly new to. Chess completely
forgotten, Jensen only paused to turn doll away from their activities,
whispering to Jared that she was too young to see such things. This made Jared
purr.
The breeder was pressed into the large lounge as Jensen loomed over him,
grinding their cocks together, breathing hard into Jared’s ear. Sweetly, he was
kissed again, his bottom lip nipped at.
When his robes were hitched up, Jared whined, spread his legs and lifted his
hips.
His heat was over but he felt strange but oddly significant.
Jensen pushed two fingers in without any resistance and he understood what that
feeling was. He wished he could tell Nicky; he wished he could whisper to her
as she had to him so many nights ago, “I want him.”
Fingered open until he was loose and slick was heavy, Jared keened that
feeling, which Jensen immediately responded to with a low groan. A signal was
given—a tender touch on his shoulder and a motion with a hand—and Jared rolled
onto his belly. He raised his hips up and spread his legs as much as he could
without falling off the lounge. He clung to a decorative pillow as he was
breeched.
“Fuck,” Jensen moaned, holding onto Jared’s hips with firm, strong hands. Jared
breathed in and pushed out, then clenched his muscles in such a way that Jensen
gasped and his hips faltered. Continuing these little tricks, Jared thrust his
hips back, working his best to pump the cock inside him. The deeper Jensen was,
the better Jared felt.
Eventually, panting from easing in slowly as not to hurt the breeder, Jensen
took over.
Jared went boneless once the spot inside him was teased then pounded against.
His cock no longer strained against invisible controls; instead, it hung
underneath him, hard and leaking a small trace of milk.
Thrilled that his new Master found pleasure like this, he felt special and
wanted, not only because Jensen wanted service, but because of many little
details. It was difficult to believe in the way Jensen only hit that satisfying
spot and no other, as if he genuinely wanted to give as much pleasure as
possible to Jared. It was the way Jared was never smacked or hit during
service, or told he was ugly, or deliberately held down and silenced. It was
the fact that Jensen wanted him at all, and seemed to really know it was him.
When Jensen did get rough, Jared didn’t mind.
He allowed his Master to thrust as hard as he needed to against Jared’s hips.
When Jared could not hold back his orgasm any longer, he mewled and shifted his
hips, actions that Jensen kindly noticed.
A hand wrapped around the breeder’s cock. With three vigorous strokes Jared was
spurting over the lounge, moaning loudly, grinding back against Jensen, and
trying to feel as much as possible.
“Again, come again,” Jensen’s voice rumbled against his back, completely leaned
forward so that they were chest to back. “Tell me when… fuck…”
The steady sound of Jensen thrusting in and out was all Jared could really
focus on for a few moments. He tried to make himself as wet and tight as
possible. When he felt another orgasm build up, his cock twitching the entire
time, he wasn’t entirely sure what he was supposed to do. Jensen placed his
hand around him again and began pulling, flicking his wrist at the delicate
head. Jared whimpered and trembled, trying to hold off, afraid of coming too
quickly. Then his hips were pushed forward at an angle that felt so good—it
made everything feel deeper and more intense—and he lost it. With a yelp, he
bucked against Jensen and trembled through the sensation. Being able to orgasm
was still so new that he tried to hold onto every feeling.
It was strange but exhilarating that Jensen seemed to enjoy Jared’s orgasms as
much as Jared did. He understood that a Master enjoyed the service a breeder
provided, but he’d only had experience providing a warm, wet hole to fuck. He
was always grateful that any Master deemed him worthy of providing that, yet
this felt different. And it seemed that Jensen was fascinated with Jared’s
ability to orgasm without pause; he didn’t come until the breeder had come four
times with very little break. By the time he finally did, Jared was wrecked,
sticky with sweat and a mess of come and milk. He tried his best to work Jensen
over the edge and through his own climax.
When Master finished, he did not pull out immediately. Jared was thankful for
this; pulling out too quickly hurt him. He had to relax from being penetrated
but had often never been given such an opportunity. Focused on breathing, he
purred when Jensen began kissing the back of his neck.
“I’m still hard,” Jensen murmured, something off in his tone that Jared picked
up on immediately.
“I… you can keep going?” Jared offered, though at the moment his hips ached and
he was stiff from this position.
Jensen let out a soft, rumbling laugh. He leaned forward and licked Jared’s
cheek. “No, but thank you. I’m just not used to… uh… this happening.”
“Is it a bad thing?” Jared asked, wary of the consequences for his question.
Jensen eased them on their sides and Jared stretched out, glad for the break
from being on his belly and knees.
“Hmm. Not really. I mean, it just doesn’t happen that often. Sometimes I still
feel like I shouldn’t be doing this. Like maybe I’m taking advantage of you.
Or… you’re so young to me and where I come from if someone was fucking my
thirteen year old son I’d… never mind.” He sighed and buried his face in the
nape of Jared’s neck, the stubble of his beard scratching pleasantly. “Thank
you,” he said just above a whisper.
Jared closed his eyes and nodded. He felt himself loosen up enough for Jensen
to slip out without a problem for either of them. Unexpectedly, they didn’t
separate. They stayed that way, Jensen’s arms around the breeder, until Jensen
was too soft to remain inside.
“Sleep with me tonight?” Master asked, a hand on Jared’s belly. The young
breeder hesitated. He wanted to. He didn’t want to leave the lounge, even if it
was damp and somewhat uncomfortable.
“I need to see if Nicky is alright,” he confessed gently. “If I may, please.”
“Of course! Shit, I didn’t… yeah. This is your last night here.” Jensen sat up
and yawned. “I should pack up the wagon.” He ran a hand through his hair, which
made it stick up in odd places. “Are you… do you feel okay?”
The concern in his eyes was sincere. It made Jared smile.
“I am thank you.”
“Yeah…” he coughed and cleared his throat. “But with… you know?” He motioned
towards Jared’s belly. Jared smiled and sat up.
“It’s a bit early to tell,” the breeder quipped. “But you did help stir and
strain.”
Jensen gave a deep laugh, his shoulders shaking the entire time, and sent Jared
out of the room with a kiss and a firm grope on the ass. “Go, try to sleep
before we leave.”
 
The younger breeder found Nicky curled up in his bed, the room dark.
He joined her, slipping under the quilts and placing doll in her hands.
Dozing lightly, she woke up, kissed Jared and doll, and then fell back asleep.
Before he drifted off, he wondered what the Judge had said to her.
He could only hope it was something good.
 
A few minutes after midnight, the Judge woke them up gently, taking care not to
startle them. With a candle, he helped them find their things to put together.
In a matter of minutes, both breeders had their robes and packs ready. Jared
didn’t have much. He took with him doll’s box and a quilt he had been working
on. With permission from the Judge, he took a few pots and pans that he favored
from the kitchen. In the dark, Nicky helped him find seedlings, and the three
of them walked outside to the garden. The breeders chose a few dark red roses
and planted them in a clay pot to take with them. The Judge loaded it into the
wagon with care, as he did with all their things.
The Masters allowed them both to go to the clearing, but Jensen did not want
Jared going to the edge of the forest, which pained the young breeder but he
obeyed. Holding hands, Nicky and Jared said goodbye to Cody and Charlie, buried
under land that was so familiar, and had come to be sacred.
Neither breeder cried.
However, both looked back as they walked away, towards the wagon that would
take them and their new Masters to Lee.
Jared remembered his first day at the household, overwhelmed and frightened.
He wasn’t frightened about leaving with Jensen and the Judge, but he was
anxious. Who could tell what would happen? What new things waited for them in
Lee?
Nicky squeezed his hand.
Jared held onto doll tightly.
They were helped into the wagon, bundled up, provided with their own heat
boxes, and told to sleep as much as the journey to Meridian allowed.
Only when the household was in the distance, did Jared close his eyes.
 
 
 Their arrival to Meridian was at first like any other trip they had made into
town.
At dawn, the marketplace was packed with people trying to prepare for New Year
celebrations, which were only a few days away. Eventually, the wagon was
stopped outside an inn Jared had never seen before. Jared was thankful and
wondered if Jensen had done that on purpose.
It was the Judge who helped them down from the wagon bed. He and Jensen had
traded turns driving to get some sleep, but despite this, both Masters looked
tired. Nicky offered to get them breakfast from a few food stalls, which the
Judge reluctantly agreed to. He took out a pouch of coins and tried to figure
out how much food to get and what it would cost. In the end, he gave the entire
pouch to Nicky.
“You know better than I what to purchase,” the Judge admitted. “I trust your
judgment.”
She was speechless, as was Jared. Though old Master had given him his own small
pouch with a few coins in it for the week’s purchases, he had never given
Jared—or Nathaniel—his personal coin pouch.
Done tying the horses down in their proper places, and securing the wagon,
Jensen walked over. He yawned and then looked at both breeders. “Go with Jeff.
I don’t want y’all alone. Do not get separated, do you understand?”
“We don’t know this Master and last time, he wasn’t very kind to Jared,” Nicky
snipped.
Jensen’s jaw clenched but he took a deep breath, then calmly replied, “No, he
wasn’t. But we… we’ve reached an understanding. He wants to spend time with
you, Jared, and this is a good opportunity.” Jensen stepped forward and placed
his hands on Jared’s shoulders. “He’s my friend, please treat him as you would
treat me.”
“Of course,” the young breeder replied with an earnest smile. “He’s very tall.”
“Some may think so,” the Judge grumbled. “He lets that get to his head
sometimes.”
“Maybe if you weren’t so damned short, Misha,” a new voice commented. Master
Jeff joined their group, dressed in country clothes. “And scrawny. Do you eat?”
“Do you stop eating?”
“Never an occasion to not be eating.”
“That’s wrong. You’re insane.”
Jeff shrugged and looked at Jared. The young breeder was nervous but tried his
best to remain as calm and pleasant as possible; those had been Master’s
orders. “Jay, it’s good to see you.”
Tense at the name, Jared hesitated to reply. “…Thank you, sir. You as well.”
The Master frowned as Jensen did whenever Jared addressed them formally, but
the frown quickly disappeared. He did a small bow towards Nicky. “Miss, it’s
good to see you also. I… I apologize for the nature of our first introduction.
I wasn’t quite myself.”
“Indeed,” Nicky muttered. “But thank you.”
All three Masters clarified their plans for the morning. Nicky slipped her hand
into Jared’s and pulled him close to her. He noticed that her belly had grown;
it was clear now that she was carrying, no amount of robes or tying styles
could hide it. He questioned if her pups were moving yet. “Not very much,” she
replied quietly. “But sometimes at night I feel something. You’ll feel it soon
enough.”
It was true, within a few weeks he would at least have a little more weight to
his middle. The thought excited him.
After a few more minutes, Jeff finally led the two breeders towards the
majority of the food stalls in the marketplace. He seemed to know his way
around, though he paused every so often to ask questions about the things
vendors were selling and the prices of things and then about the reputation of
certain stalls. Nicky answered each question, though Jared could hear the
fatigue in her voice. The sooner they were settled into their new household,
the better for her. The energy it took to complete each successive term grew,
and she would need plenty of rest. He hoped their new Masters would allow this.
For the time being, he could do the majority of the chores and cooking.
Stopped at a stall to buy sweet rolls—Jeff had something he called a sweet
tooth, though neither breeder understood what that meant—Jared continued
thinking about their new residence in Lee. He knew very little about the city,
only that it was as big as Maya.
Jeff held out a sweet roll to each breeder.
“Eat it slow,” Nicky warned Jared.
He nodded and took a bite, moaning softly at the warmth and sweetness of it.
Jeff laughed heartily and guided them towards a stall that sold individual
packs of food that kept up well during longer travels.
As Jeff haggled with the vendor, Jared looked over the crowd in the
marketplace. Jensen was trying to get near them, pushing people aside,
squeezing through the multitudes of people shopping. They made eye contact for
a second; Jared smiled, confused but happy to see his Master.
The young breeder noticed something black move in his peripheral vision.
Before he could react further, a muzzle with barbed teeth on the insides was
forced onto him as he was pushed to the ground. He heard Nicky scream and Jeff
swear. Hands were beating the younger breeder down, trying to get him to stop
moving, but he couldn’t help bucking against them. Someone took out a whip; a
black boot stepped on his lower back and pushed down, pinning Jared in place as
he was whipped into submission. Ten lashes—Jared was used to counting
instinctively—bit into Jared’s back. One landed on his neck, which caused him
to throw up in pain. Groaning, his muzzle was ruined. Dirt and blood and vomit
mixed together.
Shoved onto his side, Jared saw Nicky tied down and muzzled; a black glove
slapped her.
He saw Jeff rage like a madman as he tried to get to the breeders, but a swarm
of government officials surrounded him instantly, without any warning, as if
they were shadows coming out from the walls.
 
Right before Jared was picked up, he saw something else.
It was old Master.
And he was grinning.
***** Jets *****
Chapter Summary
     Jared understands.
Chapter Notes
     Read the tags for warnings; specific tags for this chapter include
     references to torture/punishment.
     A very brief chapter. 120 words. It rounds out the word count of this
     entire fic to 100k.
     Another chapter shortly and we will be back on track.
     Thank you so much for those of you who have stuck with me, I do hope
     you continue to stay.
Water had never frightened Jared before.
Breeders had a special connection to water. They harnessed it from wells into
basins and pails and sinks and tubs. A breeder was almost always surrounded by
some form of water; from water boiling on the stove to water in the washing
basin for laundry.
A household could not function without water.
 
How could water betray him?
Completely alone, he was hosed down in a windowless, stark white room.
Repeatedly, he was blasted with jets of hard, ice-cold water that did not stop;
they changed in unpredictable directions.
 
It took some time for Jared to comprehend the reasoning behind this.
It took a lot of water.
But eventually, he understood.
 
Water left no marks. 
***** Cleared *****
Chapter Summary
     The government steps in and asks questions.
Chapter Notes
     Please read the tags for warnings; specific warnings to this chapter
     include physical/psychological torture and interrogation.
     Brief chapter, less than 1k. However, this is the last torture part,
     and the next chapter will be healing and continuing their journey to
     Lee. So, we're done with the intense stuff (for now). This is indeed
     dark fic but most of what will come next will be not torture related.
     If that makes sense?
     Thank you for reading.
“The Master you knew as Eli is dead.”
“There remains no reason for you to try and protect him.”
“Your cooperation in these matters is to your benefit, seven-nineteen. Our
questions are simple.”
“Did your last Master speak of abolitionist views in your presence—to you
directly or to any other individuals?”
“Seven-nineteen. Answer the question.”
“Did your last Master speak of freeing you or four-thirteen, or encourage you
to seek a life without a Master’s guidance?”
“The questions are simple, seven-nineteen.”
A blast of water hit the young breeder in the face, causing him to gasp and
swallow some of it. Freezing water choked him; he sputtered and tried to avoid
the jet, weakly holding his hands above his face, but another stream of water
collided with his left side. It hit him with so much force and pressure, Jared
fell over, onto his back.
His eyes were raw but he could make out the bright, unnatural lights inside the
white room. The lights pounded their way inside his head, even if he did manage
to close his eyes for a moment in between streams. He had no idea how much time
had passed, only that he was exhausted and wrung out. Moving could only be done
with a great amount of difficulty and he faintly felt that his right leg was
broken. How had that happened? He couldn’t remember. Everything in his mind was
flooded with water. Burst after burst of water hit him—often not hard enough to
bruise—and it caused him intense anxiety. Constantly, he worried about the next
hit, the next rush of water to burst in his ears or at his entrance or near his
tender belly.
Above all else, he desperately tried to protect his belly. He knew he wasn’t
far along but the idea of damage caused to this child made him feel a heavy,
dark grief.
A humming noise reverberated through the room.
Jared groaned, his throat raw from choking and coughing.
“Did your Master have plans to take you and four-thirteen across our country’s
borders?”
“Answer the question.”
“Seven-nineteen.”
“No!” Jared shouted as loud as he could, pushing the air out of his lungs,
forcing his throat to work. “Never!”
He waited in terror for another blast of water.
Trembling, he tried his best to curl up, shielding his belly with the rest of
himself. Whatever was left of himself to offer.
 
The humming stopped and the lights shut off.
A clicking sound was made and the voice—which Jared could only pinpoint as
neutral sounding—came back. “Thank you, seven-nineteen. Your government values
your cooperation. A breeder without a Master is lost—forever.”
He agreed. He didn’t want to be without a Master—his Master—the one with the
green eyes and the drawl and the deep, rumbling laugh that embodied easy
happiness.
From seemingly nowhere, a door opened. Jared tensed up; was it another black
gloved and masked government official? They’d probed him. A black glove had
shoved itself inside him and searched because he’d heard them speak about
Masters who hid things inside their breeders, things the government found
during autopsies, which was a fancy way of saying “cutting them open.”
Mewling, his sight fading, intentional or not he couldn’t tell, Jared tried to
scoot away.
“Jared!”
He tilted his head in the direction of the sound of someone speaking.
It was an honor to give the government pups. It was an honor to run a household
efficiently and provide for his Master and his Master’s heirs. It was an honor
to contribute, in however way he could, no matter how small or insignificant it
seemed. Jared believed this. He had been good. He had been loyal. And although
he had not been perfect, he had tried.
“Stay awake, please, stay awake,” the voice faintly commanded. Hands were on
his face. “No! Please, don’t. Please, we answered… we were cleared… no!” The
hands were wrenched away.
Complete darkness surrounded him. A hood was tied over his head. Once again, he
was lifted and carried off to an unknown place. All he could hear was the voice
of that someone, pleading that they be allowed to walk on their own, begging
for the hoods to be taken off because the darkness was terrifying.
Their journey did not last long; abruptly, Jared was dumped onto a surface. He
didn’t have the strength to make a sound, even when he landed on his broken
leg. The hood was ripped off.
“They are exceptional, and we do apologize for the inconvenience, but we are
proud to have them serve the government.”
“I don’t care I just want them back. They’re mine.”
“Of course. The allegations made by another party were completely false.
Neither breeder is guilty.”
“I want something done about him. Anything. I want to press charges. He can’t
touch what is my property!”
“Yes, sir. We are working with local authorities to ensure that this is looked
into. You are welcome to continue on. Have a safe journey to Lee.”
 
Lights were switched on.
Jared expected to see old Master.
Instead, green eyes and freckles came into focus.
And then the young breeder passed out, swallowed up by dry, merciful relief. 
***** Set *****
Chapter Summary
     The company makes it to their first outpost.
Chapter Notes
     Please read the warnings, tags, etc. Remember that this is dark!fic-
     AU.
     I wanted to be super detailed about how Jensen comforts Jared, but I
     went with simplicity.
     Hopefully this clears up why Nicky and Jared were taken.
     Thanks for reading! Questions, comments, kudos, feels, etc. are all
     lovingly appreciated.
In the wagon, Master held him close.
And after some time, Master held Nicky close as well. The three of them were
pressed together in the wagon bed, swaying as their company made its way on the
paved road towards the East, to the city of Lee. At some point, the wagon
stopped, but Jared didn’t know what for or how long they had been driving.
A warm hand was pressed to his forehead and another lightly touched his broken
leg.
“Jensen, if I don’t tend to it now it’s going to be worse and require surgery.
I don’t think that’s an option here.”
“I don’t understand. What did they do to you?”
The young breeder was aware people were speaking around and about him but he
was too drained to participate in the conversation or acknowledge that he was
listening. Still and unmoving, he kept his eyes half lidded, trying to keep up
with the voices and match them to their person, but even that took energy he
did not possess.
“I… they… didn’t do much to me. I was kept in a room and they… searched me. It
didn’t hurt. It was fast. Then they asked me things. They. They thought I was…
telling other breeders… to be free. They said Eli is dead. But I… I can’t.”
That was Nicky’s voice, though she sounded so unlike herself it worried Jared.
He wished she would lie back down beside him.
“You think they lied?”
“I don’t know. The… government… doesn’t lie. They just don’t… tell breeders
certain things.”
“That’s the same thing!”
“Jen, take it easy.”
“It’s treason to say otherwise,” Nicky cried. “I am a good breeder! We are good
breeders!”
“No one is saying otherwise.” That calm tone could only come from the Judge.
“Please, proceed. You think Eli isn’t dead?”
“He said to Cody and me that if something… happened to him he’d send a red
rose. He said a messenger would find us and we would know. But… maybe… he just
said that to make us feel better.” There was some silence, with quiet whispers
afterwards that Jared did not hear. He shifted as much as he could without
moving his leg; a hand smoothed out his hair.
“Tell me,” Master requested, “what they did to him.” His voice was soothing to
Jared, even if it was sharp.
There was a moment where nothing was said and Jared wished he could see what
was going on. Eventually, Nicky spoke. “I was in a room next to his. I tried…
but they… they broke his leg when we arrived. I heard them say his old Master
said he only responded to violence. But… please, I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I tried
to yell from my room but…” Her speech was muffled, like she was crying into
something. “They hosed him down over and over again. I… I don’t even know how
long we were there.”
The hand on Jared’s head, which he assumed to be Jensen’s, paused. His voice
rumbled somewhere near. “Six hours.”
“It just doesn’t make much sense to me,” the Judge commented from further away.
“We are the ones who purchased you. Why were we not interrogated?”
A new voice entered Jared’s range of hearing. This one he had to work at
remembering. “Because breeders outnumber Masters two to one in that district.
Two breeders spreading ideas about freedom and escape could start an uprising.
They know they’re outnumbered.”
“Then why didn’t they just kill us?” Nicky asked bitterly. Jared could picture
her expression.
“Because—if I may be blunt—you’re carrying investments of the state. Killing
you would cost them potential manpower. And cause potential questioning. They
praised you for loyalty. Do you understand why?”
“Yes,” she muttered. “I still… I’m proud to have pups.”
“And they want to keep it that way. They were very careful not to push either
of you too far. Jen, Misha, standing here on the side of the road isn’t helping
us blend in. He’s got a fever and I haven’t heard any noise from him, which
concerns me. We need to get to an inn where I can set his leg.” Jared was
trying to process the information he had just heard passed between Jeff and
Nicky. He didn’t want to be free. He only wanted to be with his Master, with
Jensen. He wanted to be good in the eyes of his Master and the government.
Another quilt was placed on Jared. The conversation was at an end.
“You and Misha drive. It’s another fifty miles to the first outpost.” The wagon
shifted as Jensen and Nicky climbed back into the bed; both lay on either side
of the young breeder, flanking him protectively. Jared felt Nicky lick away
tears he hadn’t realized he’d shed. Then a cool cloth was placed on his
forehead and familiar lips were pressed to the nape of his neck.
Jensen began to hum and Jared soon fell asleep.
 
Once, Jared thought he was surrounded by black masked Masters. A black glove
forced him to swallow his scream.
 
Two seconds later, Jared woke up from that nightmare.
Panting, he sat up and panicked, desperately trying to make out the dark in the
room he was currently in. A nightmare. It had been a nightmare.
“Easy sweetheart, easy,” a deep voice murmured. Jared flinched when he detected
movement near him. A candle was lit and Jensen stood behind the flame, at
Jared’s bed side. “It’s just in here, see?” He motioned to the rest of the
room, then carefully sat on the bed. “Can I get you anything? Are you hungry?
Sweetheart?”
The young breeder tossed off the blankets he had on and stared at his right
leg. It was encased in a wooden shell similar to the one that had been placed
on his arm. It felt heavy and odd, but he could wiggle his toes slightly, which
felt somewhat reassuring.
“Jeff set it,” Jensen said quietly and placed a cautious hand over Jared’s. “He
put you under so you didn’t feel anything. Can… can I check your temperature?”
Jared nodded and tried not to shy away from his Master’s hand. Jensen was slow
and telegraphed every movement. He smiled and cupped Jared’s cheek. “All gone.
I’m glad. So glad, sweetheart.”
Sad green eyes looked at him. Jared closed his eyes and felt his breath hitch.
“Oh, no, no, don’t… don’t try to keep it all in,” Jensen whispered. He set the
light down and gingerly settled into the bed beside Jared. He was dressed in
his usual night clothes, though they weren’t in any place familiar to Jared.
“We’re a day away from a new house,” his Master murmured, placing tiny kisses
on the bridge of his nose. “We stopped at an inn to rest the night. Nicky and
Misha are in the room next to us and Jeff is out with the wagon. You know… I
think Misha has a crush on her.”
Tender touches rained on Jared’s back, Jensen’s fingertips tracing soothing
circles.
“He’s a total gentleman though. I’m sure he’s sleeping on the floor tonight,
just to be nice. But I’m not so nice, Jared.” Their foreheads were pressed
together. Jared opened his eyes. The two looked at each other for a moment.
Jared felt something. He felt that he’d done this same thing hundreds of times
before, as if some distant thread was piercing itself through his memories and
into his chest.
“Can I sleep with you tonight, Jared? Would you let me keep you company?”
Jensen asked, his voice just above a whisper, with that rumbling drawl. When
rough but loving hands were threaded through Jared’s hair, he could no longer
hold back. Jared pushed himself forward and found that he was not shoved away;
instead, he was embraced and held tightly, his forehead kissed. The blankets
around them provided them with their own nest; their own space in a world Jared
didn't want to think about.
“That’s it,” Jensen cooed and moved them so that there was not one inch of
space between them. “Let it out darlin’. Let it out.”
Into Jensen’s chest, Jared cried.
Unlike the many times before when he had cried after a beating, Jared felt
better.
***** Travel *****
Chapter Summary
     The party continues their journey to Lee.
Chapter Notes
     Read the tags, but no specific warnings for this chapter.
     Posting in a hurry before work, but here you go! Hope y'all notice
     all the little things that are changing. :D
     Kudos and comments are sooooo appreciated! Y'all make my day at work.
     Thank you!
Learning how to use crutches was challenging, but Jared was able to manage
fairly quickly. Jensen was generous enough to given him two.
“I don’t want to see you on your feet too much once we’re settled in,” Jensen
grumbled. Jared was hobbling around in the space of their small room at the
inn. “That’s going to be on for at least six weeks, you know that, right?”
The young breeder paused to chirp, “But I’m not that slow on them.” He leaned
against their window, which overlooked the main road they had come in on.
Looking outside, he basked in the warmth of the early morning sunlight. He’d
woken up slow and lazy, pressed against his Master, safe and comfortable,
despite his leg and its dull pain. When Jensen had woken up after him, he’d
been greeted with gentle kisses that had turned deeper but were ultimately
stopped when Jared felt a sharp pain in his leg as he had tried to get closer
to Jensen. Insisting that Jared rest, Jensen kept them in bed, side by side,
for a while longer. Now that it was nearing mid-morning, they were both up and
about.
“Jensen?” Jared asked, keeping his head down in case his question was not well
received. “Why… why did old Master want me?”
It was bold of him to ask; it really wasn’t any of his business. What Masters
wanted was not to be questioned by breeders. However, Jared wanted to know the
answer to his question and the only person he wanted an answer from was Jensen.
He didn’t completely understand why, but he felt anxious and braced himself for
a whip to appear.
It didn’t happen.
Instead, Jensen sighed.
He’d been sitting on the edge of their bed, doll cradled in his hands. She’d
been tucked away in the wagon before Jared and Nicky had left for the
marketplace, so she had remained safe and out of harm’s way. But Master treated
her with such care, as if she had been through something unnamable. He held her
like she was an actual pup. Green eyes looked up.
“All three of the pups you had were healthy… Masters. So your market price went
up. He…sent you to auction at a loss. Then he found out who had purchased
you—Eli and Misha—and for how much. Guess he snapped. Spent all his money on a
lawyer, sold his own child and first breeder. He was convinced Eli was
smuggling breeders out of the country and that by turning Eli in, he’d be
rewarded.” Jensen sighed and set doll down on a pillow. “As I understand it,
the two closest countries have the same systems so smuggling across the border
doesn’t do anything. But I guess there aren’t any chips in the North.” He lay
on the bed, arms under his head. “Every day I find out something new. It’s kind
of overwhelming.”
The mention of his surviving pups hurt; it dug at him deep.
Three Masters was something remarkable. Breeders rarely gave birth to an entire
litter of only one kind of pup, most litters were mixed. Jared briefly wondered
if the three that hadn’t made it had been breeders. It seemed appropriate
somehow.
Sensing sadness, Jensen stood up from his place. He walked over and put a hand
over Jared’s.
“Thank you for answering,” Jared murmured. His reply was a nod.
Unsure of what to do with the silence between them, Jared asked another
question. “Are things simpler where you come from?”
Sunlight made his freckles stand out, Jared noticed as he coyly glanced at
Jensen. “I guess. I mean. Things got hectic but when we were on leave…”
Jensen’s voice had started out light enough, but his tone became cold. He
pursed his lips and shook his head. “Some days all I wore were some jeans and a
smirk.”
Despite this, Jared attempted to smile and make the mood lighter. He could not
imagine Master that carefree and casual, but the idea was charming. “What are
jeans, Jensen?” he asked and pushed himself off the window, onto his crutches.
They weren’t as bad as Jensen had warned him. He was definitely slower than
usual, but he could make up for that.
At this question, Master laughed, then sat up again. He embraced the young
breeder, minding the crutches. “They’re denim trousers, Jared. When your leg is
healed up, I’ll let you try on a pair.” A sweet kiss was placed on his cheek.
“Sit now and rest. I better go see what those three are doing. Are you okay? Do
you need anything?”
Jared barely had any time to consider the enormity of being offered to wear
trousers. Breeders were supposed to wear their robes or go unclothed. Wearing
trousers was the sign of a Master; trousers signified the respect and power of
Masters. No Master wore robes and no breeder wore trousers. That was the way
things were. A breeder wearing trousers—or asking for them at all—was a breeder
overstepping their boundaries, being out of their place. But here was his
Master, offering a pair to Jared as if it were the most natural and ordinary
thing in the world. Jared decided not to comment on this; he would discuss it
with Nicky later. He wasn’t sure if this was a test of some sort. For the
moment, he thanked Jensen and allowed himself to be lifted up and placed back
on the bed. Pillows were promptly propped under his leg, to keep it elevated at
all times, as Jeff had instructed.
As Jensen was placing a few blankets over Jared, a soft knock at the door was
heard. Jensen went over and opened the door. Nicky strode in, carrying tray of
hot food and drink, balancing everything with an elegance Jared was familiar
with. She looked as tired as Jared, but she wore new robes. They were made of a
fine but simple fabric, dyed a happy blue color. Both breeders smiled at each
other; she even gave Jensen a small smile.
“I’ve come to feed him,” she announced. “Master Jeff says he’s tired of your
‘slacking’ as he put it, and has aggressively requested your ‘god damned help,’
sir.” Nicky set the tray down—propped up on little legs—over Jared’s lap. The
younger breeder’s stomach rumbled at the spread laid out before him: a mug of
tea, toast, scrambled eggs, and a few crisp pieces of bacon. He waited for
Master to indicate he could begin eating.
“Those idiots better not have broken anything. Slacking, my ass,” Jensen
muttered, putting on his usual vest. With a few licks to his palms, he ran his
hands through his hair and flattened down tawny spikes. He checked his pockets,
making sure everything was where it should be. “You two gonna be okay here?
Should be on the road in an hour, if that’s not a problem.”
“Not at all,” Nicky replied smoothly. She perched herself at the edge of the
bed, next to Jared. “Doctor, when a breeder is served food, they need
permission from their Master to start eating. Would you mind? His food is
getting cold.”
Jensen’s eyes went wide for a second. “What? Yes! Go on, please, sorry…”
“It’s fine,” Nicky murmured, flicking her hair back. “Your breakfast is
downstairs. I was told to make fresh coffee for you. Go on, Jared.” She
encouraged the younger breeder to begin. Jared began tucking in, trying to eat
elegantly, but ultimately was too hungry for the illusion of grace.
“That’s great, thanks,” Jensen said to Nicky. “Did the guys eat?”
She nodded and added, “The Judge made breakfast. I just made the coffee and
Jared’s tea.”
“Huh. Well. Y’all let me know if you need anything.” Jensen leaned over the
tray and placed a quick kiss on Jared’s lips. Jared laughed at this; his mouth
was full of food but Jensen wanted to kiss him anyway. In a few quick steps,
Jensen was gone. His boots could he heard going down the hallway and the
stairs.
Alone, Nicky let Jared eat. She started picking up the room. He listened to her
as she did.
“The new house has twelve rooms, two libraries, eight bathrooms, and an
extensive kitchen, so I’m told. It’s about half the size of our former
residence, but the Judge says it has just as much land.” Expertly, she folded
sheets and blankets and some of Jensen’s clothes, which he had left on the
floor in his hurry. Already her movements were slower and she had to bend at a
different angle to reach the floor. However, she moved in such a way that one
could hardly notice the extra effort. “We are free to decorate as we please.
You’re first breeder—what should our household colors be? Cody did always
prefer darker colors. But he was so good at decorating. I’ll be of little help
to you in that aspect. And many others soon enough.”
Finished with his plate, Jared lifted the tray and set it aside. He watched as
she filled a small basin with water from a pitcher. Both breeders were covered
in bruises—Jared’s back was still tender, but healing. The basin was brought
over, along with a towel, and she began washing him. He closed his eyes and
purred, basking in the attention. Carefully, he was undressed and cleaned. He
tried not to think about the water.
Eventually, they shared the bed together, as they had always done.
She let him feel her belly. “The… the Master downstairs…” she whispered,
nuzzling Jared. “He says he is also a Doctor. He wanted to check on me. So… I
let him and he says he heard eight heart beats.”
Eight was a good number. It was more than good. It was wonderful. Nicky would
make her quota with this litter. Eight was also a difficult number; it meant
she had to rest more often and would go a longer period of time without being
able to move very much.
“I’m happy for you,” Jared whispered back. “I will do anything I can to make
sure… that…” he closed his eyes and hoped she understood him. Memories of his
pups and the ones in the clearing came back to him. She kissed him and nodded,
murmured a thank you.
They stayed like that until Jensen came to collect them, declaring that they
were all set to continue on.
 
A wheel broke twenty miles out.
All three Masters had no idea how to fix it.
“Fucking outdated piece of shit,” Jensen barked, trying to assess the damage.
“I can fix anything. Any motor or engine or even a fucking furnace!”
“Wouldn’t it be like changing a tire?” the Judge asked. The three of them were
on the side of the road. When the wheel had broken, it had jostled the breeders
in the wagon and spooked the horses. A few of their things had fallen on the
road, but Jeff had gone and picked them up. Jared’s leg had been tossed and he
was in pain, but that didn’t seem as important as the wagon so he kept quiet,
holding onto Nicky’s hand and squeezing, panting as the pain increased.
“Excuse me,” Nicky snapped, sitting up and leaning over the side of the wagon.
“One of your passengers is hurt and requires attention. And the other knows how
to fix your wheel.” She turned back to Jared. “Did you ever have to fix a
wheel, Jared?”
The younger breeder nodded, then gritted his teeth as a sharp pain shot up his
leg.
“Focus,” Nicky commanded. “How do I fix the wheel, Jared?”
Slowly, he growled the answer, until Jeff appeared at the side of the wagon. A
small gray bag was placed beside Jared and Jeff rooted around until he found a
bottle. “I’m sorry,” Jared panted. “It hurts, sir, I’m sorry!” He began to
panic, feeling ashamed that his pain should come before the needs of their
company.
“Easy now,” Jeff rumbled, examining the bottle, placing it down, and giving
Jared a fond smile. “It’s alright. Gives me something to do while the rest are
arguing about that wheel.” The Judge was helping Nicky out of the wagon so she
could help. Jared wanted her to stay; he hoped Jeff did not have to reset his
leg. The pain of how his arm had been set had never left his memories.
“Take him out of the bed, Jeff,” Jensen ordered from somewhere Jared couldn’t
see. “Can’t have anyone in there while we’re fixing this stupid thing.”
“Yes Captain,” Jeff replied. He looked at Jared and telegraphed his movements
ahead of time. “I’m going to lift you up and set you down over there.” He
glanced over his shoulder and looked towards a tree with shade. “I’ll give you
some painkillers and massage your leg. I won’t reset it, I promise. This should
make you feel better, okay? Ready? One, two, three.” As if Jared weighed no
more than a breakfast tray, he was lifted and carried over. Master Jeff worked
fast, but he touched Jared with tenderness. Under the shade of the only tree by
the road, Jared was given a canteen with cool water and one, tiny gray pill. He
swallowed without question.
“That’s baby aspirin, Jared,” Jeff told him as he carefully massaged Jared’s
thigh. “It won’t knock you out but it’s all I can give you. The massage should
actually take care of most of your pain. You have to tell me if it hurts, okay?
Can I trust you to do that?”
The breeder nodded.
Twenty minutes passed and Jared felt boneless. He had been trained how to do
massages for Masters but had never actually had one himself, even if it was on
his leg. At the end, Jeff checked on his back, applied a light layer of salve,
and had him eat an apple. Munching on the crisp treat, Jared was carried back.
The wagon was fixed but both Jensen and Nicky were covered in a dusting of dirt
and wheel grease. Her belly stuck out as she breathed hard from the exertion.
“You need to rest,” the Judge said quietly, passing her a canteen and an apple.
“Thank you.”
“Thank you, sir,” Nicky replied, keeping her eyes down.
There was something there that Jared couldn’t quite express. Both breeders were
helped back into the wagon; Jared’s leg was propped up and Nicky was given an
extra apple.
 
She sliced the apple carefully and shared it with Jared, often giving him the
bigger, juicier pieces.
Once again, they were on their way.
***** Arrival *****
Chapter Summary
     The company journeys further and arrives to Lee.
Chapter Notes
     Read the tags, but no specific warnings here.
     At last!
     Also, if you are on tumblr, perhaps you'd like to submit a question
     to World Building Wednesday. I've left anon open, so ask away! World
     building questions are happily accepted all day tomorrow and I will
     try to draw a few replies. Please keep questions about this verse and
     away from plot to prevent spoilers. Also, a new drawing of doll is up
     on the fic tumblr. Go visit and ask your question at
     ittakesalotofwater.tumblr.com.
     Thank you for reading! <3
A breeder’s training at the academy was one of their foundations for knowledge.
The rest of the things they knew, they learned from other breeders. While the
academy stressed that breeders were an important part of society—that Masters
needed breeders to produce heirs and provide the government with pups—amongst
breeders there was a different message.
Jared had learned, at an early age that breeders were in many ways disposable.
That was why they had to try their best. Any breeder could replace them; any
breeder could make bread or tend to a garden. It was important to a breeder’s
survival that they please their Master in any and all ways possible.
Older breeders stressed elegance and refinement as being highly desired
qualities in a breeder.
Younger breeders stressed efficiency and obedience instead, preferring to do
things faster and quicker than others, with the same quality results.
All breeders agreed on pain.
Pain was a familiar friend. A breeder was often judged by their peers based on
how much pain they could tolerate. A breeder who could not stand any pain was
seen as weak and undeserving of any Master’s protection and care. This was
emphasized at the academy, repeatedly, often with demonstrations. Jared had
been one of the best in his class when it came to a high pain tolerance.
He knew that it was his responsibility as a first breeder to help his Master in
any way necessary and that included not being bothersome.
It was difficult for him to admit to Nicky that he could barely tolerate the
wagon much longer. For the most part, the roads on the way to Lee were smooth,
but after hours of being in the bed, any small jolt began to cause sharp stabs
of pain to emerge. If he moved his leg, he felt and heard a soft, deep
crunching sound from within the thing the Masters called a cast.
By the time they reached the last outpost to Lee, Jared could hardly breathe.
He had begged Nicky not to say anything, and she had tried her best to convince
him that Master would be more upset if he remained silent, but Jared had been
adamant. He did not want to slow their company down; it was important for them
to be off the roads by dusk. The little he knew about traveling was that one
should prepare for anything and no one stayed out after dusk—it would be like
dangling meat in front of dogs.
Relieved that they reached their next stop, Jared finally caught Jensen’s
attention.
His green eyes went wide. “Why… why didn’t you say something earlier? Jared!
Look at you, you’re half in shock.” The crutches that had been in his hands to
give to Jared were dropped on the ground. Jensen moved forward to pick up
Jared, but Jared flinched from the sudden movement. Nicky stuck her hand out to
Jensen.
“Stop,” she warned, her tone firm. “Think about what you’re doing.”
Both breeders were surprised when instead of whipping them for their mistakes
or tones, Jensen did actually stop to think. He sighed and rubbed the back of
his neck. “Fine. I know you didn’t want to… say anything earlier, Jared, but I
need you to tell me when you’re in pain. That’s important to me, do you
understand that? I can’t have you toughing it out for whatever reason.”
“Yes sir,” Jared quickly replied. It didn’t seem to make Jensen much less
upset, but he moved slower and gathered Jared up with care, minding his leg.
Jared held on, wrapping his arms around Jensen’s neck. As they walked from the
wagon towards the inn, Jensen kissed the breeder on the cheek.
“It hurts me to know you’re in pain sweetheart,” Master confided softly.
“I’m sorry.” He had nothing else to say. He was confused but comforted by the
care his Master had. It wasn’t something he was used to, though Jared
understood that a breeder in pain couldn’t be a proper breeder. He would never
want to become a poor investment for Jensen; he held on tighter. Up some
stairs, the inn was quiet and other travelers had just started to turn in,
tired from their own journeys. They had passed a few wagons and carriages along
the roads to Lee, seen a few people Nicky and Jared thought looked curious. The
weather had been kind to them and at one point Nicky had gotten out of the
wagon to walk alongside. At first, the Masters had protested, said she should
be resting, but eventually, she had won, only asking that they slow their pace
a tad.
It genuinely surprised both breeders when the Judge hopped out to walk
alongside her. From the bed, Jared heard a few pieces of their conversation.
“Your robes… look…nice.”
“Thank you, you did purchase them.”
“Well, yeah, but… the blue…”
“Are you trying to giving me a compliment, Misha?”
“I am trying!” the Judge laughed. “Failing but trying!”
The pair lasted five miles before the Judge grew tired—“I don’t know… how you
can… where do you get all the energy?”—and Nicky had them retire back to the
wagon. The Judge helped her back into the bed, checked on Jared as well, and
hopped back onto the driving seat to join the other Masters. Jared offered
Nicky a canteen, which she took appreciatively and passed back. After that, she
smiled easier.
 
Presently, Jared settled into the new bed, and lifted his leg so that Jensen
could place pillows underneath it. The room was standard, and Jensen assured
the younger breeder that Nicky and the Judge would be next to them, while Jeff
would stay with their wagon.
“He doesn’t mind?” Jared asked, tugging his robes up, over his head, and taking
them off. He folded them neatly on the nightstand.
Jensen snorted and began taking off his clothes. Jared kept his eyes focused
away, though he was tempted. Many hours in the sun had made the freckles on
Jensen stand out. He was also slightly sunburned, which Jared thought he should
take care of, but Jensen didn’t seem to mind it. “Jeff grew up in a place with
its own stable. His family… they own a few horses.” Master sighed and gave
Jared a small smile. “Don’t worry about him, okay? He’s happy to be here.
Besides, would you prefer I slept out with the horses and he slept here with
you?”
Sensing that Jensen was teasing, Jared smiled widely. “He might not smell like
a day’s travel.”
There was that brief moment where Jared was desperately afraid he said the
wrong thing, however, it was chased away when Master started laughing.
“You’ve got jokes now,” Jensen said in between laughs. He sat down on the edge
of the bed and pulled off his boots. “Fine, I guess you have a point. Not
everyone can smell like sunshine and flowers, your highness.” He leaned over
and pressed a light kiss to Jared’s lips. “I suppose you’ll have me shower
before I can climb into bed, huh?”
“Uh…” Jared hesitated. He was not about to have Master think that he was
serious or commanding Jensen in any way. Jensen seemed to sense this and shook
his head, smiling still.
“It’s fine, we’re joking. We’ll get that back one of these days.” He stood up,
some joints popping as he stretched. “You need anything before I take a bath?”
The young breeder looked at himself and hoped he was not too dirty from the
journey either. “Should I…?”
“Oh, no, you can’t get the cast wet. I’ll come back with a basin. And some
food. Shit, I’m hungry. Just stay there, I won’t be too long.” Jensen padded
into their private bathroom and left the door open; Jared wondered if that was
so he could hear if Master needed something or if it was for Master to hear if
Jared needed something. He did not know nor could he figure it out, since
Jensen never once called him for anything. After a few minutes, Jared began to
nod off. It was more difficult to keep his eyes open and by the time a warm
cloth was pressed to his forehead, Jared had fallen asleep.
Jensen was tender and careful. He asked Jared to sit up so he could wash his
back and apply more salve. Fresh bandages were applied and he was laid back
down, on pillows so much softer than any pallet he’d slept on. Sometimes Jared
missed his bed in Master Eli’s household, but even though the beds at the inns
were temporary, they had Jensen. That meant something, though Jared could not
put the meaning into words.
“Stay awake to eat something and you can go back to sleep sweetheart,” Jensen
murmured, his voice close to Jared’s ear. “C’mon, I brought you soup and a
sandwich.”
Coaxed awake, the breeder sleepily opened his eyes and yawned, purring when a
mug of soup with noodles was placed in his hands. He sipped carefully, allowing
his purr to sound out.
“Is that… something all breeders can do?” Jensen asked, eating his own
sandwich. “The purring thing.”
After a sip of soup, Jared replied, “Yes. Do you not like it?”
“Oh, no, I like it. It’s just… new.”
“How else would you know a breeder is happy, sir?” Jared took another sip of
soup and felt warm all over. The closer they got to Lee, the warmer the climate
became, however, after the sun went down nights were bracing.
Master nodded and shrugged, then finished his sandwich. He passed Jared one and
began to do a few things around the room as the breeder continued eating. The
sandwich was simple but hearty, with sweet meat and lettuce and something
creamy Jared had never tried before. He ate every single bite, though he was
careful to eat slowly. Jensen wrote in a notebook, his pen scratching lightly
as he made his notes. Jared watched curiously, attentive to the needs of his
Master.
Not too much longer, Jensen closed his notebook and tucked it away in one of
his bags. He began blowing out candles throughout the room. Immediately, he
joined Jared in bed, sliding in with caution. They fit together despite Jared’s
awkward leg.
A kiss was placed on Jared’s shoulder, then on his cheek, then on his forehead.
Without any words both fell asleep comfortably.
 
Their last day’s journey went well.
At about midday, Jeff announced that they were approaching their destination.
Little by little, the roads changed from empty to bustling. Carts and carriages
and wagons were everywhere, though never as crowded as the main part of Maya.
Still, the outskirts of Lee were new to everyone in their company and no one
ran out of sights to see. The breeders that Nicky and Jared could see seemed
healthy and taken care of, and they did not see any breeder chained to a
carriage or wagon, though some were walking alongside their household’s mode of
transportation.
“The robes here are different,” Nicky commented, adjusting hers slightly.
“They’re shorter. Look! Look how they have theirs tied.” She pointed to a
particular breeder, dressed in bright red. It made the breeder stand out, which
was unusual but not unheard of. The robes this breeder wore were especially
pretty, lined with lace and tied in a sophisticated way that must have taken an
hour to achieve.
Somewhat dirty and sunburnt from their travel, Nicky and Jared kept their heads
down after that, though they managed to take in more of their new surroundings.
From the roads that circled Lee and led to extensive country properties, Jared
could see that Lee was older than Maya, but just as big, if not larger. There
seemed to be a very diverse set of people, but what he enjoyed the most about
them was that there was no shouting or obvious rudeness. Both Masters and
breeders seemed calm and happy, eagerly carrying on with their business.
The Judge turned back towards the breeders, blue eyes bright. “It’s a gorgeous
city that merits a day of exploration. However, the Doctor and I are eager to
settle in. Just a few miles more.”
They each nodded and resumed looking around. Jared held onto Nicky when they
passed a particularly crowded intersection.
An unfamiliar voice was then heard. “Ah, the new Doctor and his company!”
The wagon was stopped. Jensen’s voice sounded out, clear and firm. “Yes sir,
just got in.” Jared tried to twist to see who Jensen was speaking to, but
ultimately could not. Nicky managed better.
“Well, a pleasure, sir! The name is Rush, I’m a banker in town. Our offices are
nearby, I do believe. I’ve heard from my breeder that you’ve taken over the
place on Eastings. Do you know the way?” From what Jared could tell, the voice
was confident but amiable. Nicky kept a careful watch.
“Some direction would be helpful, thank you,” Jensen responded in a friendly
tone and received directions. Goodbyes were said quickly and the wagon started
again. The three Masters murmured amongst themselves and to that, Nicky did not
listen. She reported to the younger breeder that the banker had been young,
with black hair and a full beard. He was plainly but richly dressed, which
seemed to be the style for most Masters in the area.
“We did not look lost,” Nicky commented with a sigh, keeping her voice low. “I
wonder why he asked us if we needed help.”
There was no answer to that inquiry. Somewhat frustrated, Nicky chewed on her
bottom lip. “Maybe we do look a little lost.” As if to ground herself in the
familiar, she took Jared’s hand in hers and squeezed. They stayed close
together for the rest of the journey.
The new household was ten miles out from the outskirts of Lee. Despite being
tucked away from the city, it was still considered part of Lee and they were
not the only residents who had that privilege. Several other estates surrounded
Lee, often with a fair amount of acreage. Some households had gates with their
house initials painted on and others had only winding drives that led up to the
main house.
Theirs was like that; a narrow but well maintained road led them up a slight
hill and to their new property. So much to take in, Jared tried to focus on one
thing at a time.
From the outside, the new household seemed compact. Jared reminded himself that
there were only twelve rooms. Vines curled up against the house and grazed a
few windows, accenting them perfectly. Jared counted twelve large windows in
the front—six on each floor—and wondered which window he would grow most
familiar with and which had the best view of the gardens. He was excited to see
the rest of the property and nearly bounced in place. He saw two floors but no
attic, which disappointed Nicky, but Jared reminded her that perhaps there was
more to see. The structure was made out of brick, from what Jared could tell,
and surrounded by neatly kept gardens and bushes. Cheerful flowers lined the
drive up.
When the time came to unload the wagon, Jared could not believe what was
happening.
He was the first breeder to this household.
***** Moving In *****
Chapter Summary
     The company begins to move in, but there are still tensions and
     misunderstandings.
Chapter Notes
     Read the tags but nothing specific here!
     Ahhh everyone is really tense. Next chapter will be a bit lighter.
     But everyone is definitely going through their own thing, some better
     than others.
     Posting fast before work! Comments, kudos, etc. are appreciated. I
     hope y'all enjoyed WBW, we'll have one next week too! <3
“Quit squirming, I’ll put you down in a second,” Jensen grumbled. “Jared! I’m
gonna drop you and then you’ll be sorry.”
“But it’s so pretty!” Jared chirped, wiggling in excitement as he was lowered
from the wagon and handed his crutches. He wobbled precariously at first, but
gained his balance as he waited for the Judge to finish helping Nicky down.
“No one’s going inside until Jeff and I scope out the place and that includes
overexcited Jareds,” Jensen said with only a hint of bite. “Misha, stay here
while we poke around, yeah?”
The Judge huffed and folded his arms over his chest. “I’m just as capable at
‘poking’ as you two are.”
“Yeah buddy, sure you are,” Jensen grunted as he hefted a large bag onto his
back from the wagon bed. “Ship counselor totally prepared you for action on the
field.”
“Remember Conversations 101?” Jeff laughed as he finished with the horses. “You
had us all learn the art of meaningful conversation. With puppets.”
“Everyone loved the puppets,” the Judge grumbled and went to help with
preliminary unloading.
Nicky stayed close to Jared, slipping a hand over his on the crutch. For now,
they were invisible, as the Masters continued to banter and bicker between
themselves. They all three of them seemed very familiar with each other, with
their own stories to tell. It was a closeness that Jared hadn’t entirely
noticed before. There was an easiness that appeared on Jensen’s face that Jared
was sure he had never had in his company. The young breeder sighed and tried
not to listen to the conversation between the Masters. It was not his place.
“It’s a pleasant sort of place,” Nicky murmured, nudging him from his thoughts.
“You will do well here, I think.”
He hoped so; his previous excitement had now faded into anxiety. He was about
to confide his doubts to Nicky when the Judge came over and suggested they
retire in some shade. Six small trees lined the lane that lead up to the
entrance, mostly for decoration, but they did provide some protection from the
midday sun. Jared made his way over, slightly uneasy on gravel, following Nicky
and the Judge. He saw Jensen and Master Jeff walk around to the back of the
household, towards the back lawns.
“I’m fine standing, thank you,” he heard Nicky say to the Judge. “It feels nice
after so long in the wagon.”
The younger breeder noticed that the Judge was attentive to Nicky’s belly.
There was an opportunity for her to speak about her litter, but she did not
take it. The Judge offered to help Jared sit but he also preferred to stand,
even if on crutches. He found the crutches somewhat enjoyable; they were
challenging and different from regular walking. Although he tired out from
being on them for too long, he appreciated the feeling of exercising his arms.
Building muscles would help him with his chores.
Jared thought that given the Judge’s lively nature, they would spend the time
talking. Perhaps he would tell them a story about himself and the other
Masters, or ask questions about the breeders, but that did not happen. Nicky
kept careful watch on the lane and occasionally, on Jared. They tried a few
times to communicate through sight alone, but Jared could not interpret her
messages. They would have to find time to speak in confidence later.
Sighing, Jared practiced moving around on his crutches, staying in the shade as
had been instructed. The crunch of the crutches and a few birds chirping could
be heard. When he paused for breath, he breathed in deep. The air here was
crisp and clean; he could vaguely smell something sweet as well, but could not
pinpoint the exact scent. Anxious and restless despite his fatigue, he kept
making circles, minding his leg. He was not in very much pain, though a dull,
steel-like ache radiated through his leg at all times. At first he’d thought he
would be able to put a little weight on it but soon found out that that would
not be the case at all. Carefully, he wiggled his toes through the cast,
enjoying the feeling and the cool, soft grass on the lawn tickled.
There were questions he wanted to ask and felt that the Judge would give him
fair, honest answers. But it didn’t seem like an appropriate time to do so.
Both Masters had said that their plan had always been to take Jared back, but
was that still true? How long would they be here? Was it even worth cleaning
and airing out the household? Where would they be going and what kind of place
was it? What sort of place had no breeders? Would it truly be so awful if they
took Nicky with them, so they would not be separated? Was there someway Jared
could assert their friendship to Jensen and convince him that there was room
for her, to wherever they were going?
It alarmed Jared that he knew so little about Jensen and this mysterious other
place.
Other Jared had evoked that same carefree expression in Jensen that Jared had
not mastered.
And for as much as old Jared seemed to mean to these Masters, Jared rarely
heard anyone mention him.
Thinking of these things made Jared uneasy. He didn’t like having so much
mystery hanging over his head. It was infinitely more soothing to think through
a list of chores to be done once the household was opened up. He wondered if
the household was already furnished. All he hoped for was a nightstand where he
could prop up doll at night to set her at ease. He had left her in her box,
tucked in a corner of the wagon where she was the most secure, but now wished
he had removed her. He missed her now.
“You’re pale, Jared. Should I fetch you some juice?” Nicky asked softly,
rubbing his back.
“No, I’m fine,” he replied quickly with a tight smile. “Just tired.”
She nodded but eyed him carefully. In the end, she did just as he wanted; she
stood in front of him and pulled herself close to him. Her belly pushed against
his. Arms wrapped around him, she began to purr and stroke his hair. “We have
our own stories,” she whispered into his ear. “And now we have the chance to
make a few more.”
After a minute, Jensen’s voice could be heard. He waved to them from the wagon.
As quickly as Jared could, he made his way back to the wagon, wincing when he
miscalculated a step.
“Looks just fine. Jeff’s gonna set up a few things in the back while we take
care of the inside. Y’all go on in and make yourselves comfortable for the
moment,” he said, the last part specifically to the breeders. Jared was about
to follow orders but thought of something.
“Is there something you’d like me to prepare for dinner?” Jared asked, standing
up as straight as possible. He was a good cook; he’d gotten better with Nicky
teaching him but that had always been a strong point in his training. Although
he did not have the ingredients to make something as elegant as beef
wellington, he could certainly try to put together a hearty meal for their
first night taking residence.
Jensen was busy unloading bags, tossing a few things here and there into piles.
“Nah,” he murmured. “Sandwiches will do us just fine tonight. Don’t even think
about trying to those stairs, you hear me? You’re supposed to stay off that
leg.”
A quick, bland response was given before Jared turned and walked away. Nicky
sighed and shook her head. “He’s busy, Jared, give him time,” was all she said
before they reached the doors. He nodded and followed her inside to the main
entryway.
The house had not been occupied for quite some time, yet despite that, it
retained some kind of freshness. Though there was dust all over from disuse,
everything was still intact. Just like at their previous household, a table
with a vase for flowers on it proudly stood in the center of the entryway. The
floors were made of a slick, clean tile. Jared looked all around, trying to
take it all in. It certainly wasn’t as delicate or detailed as their previous
household, but it still spoke of wealth and investment. Since the entryway
looked that nice, Jared wondered what kind of pallet awaited him for the night.
Although him and Jensen were sharing a bed more often, it was not a guarantee
that that would happen here.
“I am glad I am here with you,” Nicky shared gently, reaching out and cupping
Jared’s cheek. “Why are you so sad now? You were thrilled when we pulled up,
what has so suddenly changed?”
“I’m scared,” Jared blurted out, ashamed at his admission.
“You are not,” Nicky asserted. “You are only overwhelmed. That’s different.
You’re too brave to be scared.”
“I don’t… I don’t know…” He pushed himself forward and took a glance at a
little more of the house. It was as quietly elegant as the rest, though most
things—paintings and furniture—were covered by sheets. “I certainly don’t feel
very brave.”
The layout of the house was simple. He could almost see why Master Eli had
chosen it. A main staircase was to the right, but it was plain and somewhat
narrow. The walls were painted a light cream color, while the tiles were a pale
blue. Although most things they would need were here—chairs and tables and
such—Jared was anxious to catalogue things so he knew what they were missing.
“If we felt brave all the time we wouldn’t know what courage required,” Nicky
remarked, stepping forward alongside Jared. “What bothers you most? Not knowing
how long you will be here or what to do first?”
“We,” Jared insisted. “How long we will be here.”
She shook her head. “No, Jared. You. I… I think they are allowing me to stay
until the end of my term. That would make sense and it’s very kind of them.
This… is the largest litter I’ve ever had.” Gently, she touched her belly,
looked down at it. “They’ve started to move more often, you know.”
Jared wanted to protest; he wanted to tell her that two more months together
was not enough.
He did not get the chance. Master Jeff walked in and set down a few bags and
their packs. He looked at them, concerned. “Uh… everything alright? I didn’t
interrupt something, did I?”
“Of course not,” Nicky replied, easily masking her earlier emotions, her voice
pleasant. “You know, we aren’t completely useless. We could help with things.”
Master Jeff hesitated. He bit his bottom lip in a way that Jared found
extremely familiar. “I suppose, if y’all are up to it. Just take it easy,
there’s no rush. And if Jenny finds out you two pushed yourselves too much,
he’ll have my ass.”
“Well, we can’t have that, now can we?” Nicky answered, smiling. “Go on. We
promise to take it easy. It’ll be good to work.”
He seemed to sense her willingness to be distracted by doing something and he
relented. Though he kept his eye on Jared, protective in a way.
Nicky clapped her hands together and turned to Jared. “No more standing around
moping, Jared! Let’s get started. I suggest the kitchen, how do you feel about
that?”
And just like before, Jared agreed and they set to work, falling in place
easily though their surroundings were extremely different.
 
Six hours later and the breeders had the entire household aired out and dusted.
When Jensen discovered this, he gave them a stern lecture in the main entryway.
Then he turned his attention towards Master Jeff, who sighed and rolled his
eyes. He put up with thirty seconds of a lecture and interrupted. “Jen! They’re
not weak china dolls or made out of glass, okay? I saw them both take a few
breaks and Misha gave them something to eat earlier. You’re freaking out over
nothing! Be fucking thankful you have a clean room to sleep in tonight and shut
up!” With that, Master Jeff stormed out of the household, but not without
shouting, “You failed Conversations 101, Jen!”
That last comment seemed to bother Jensen more than anything else. Jared tried
to make himself look smaller but it was difficult with the crutches. Nicky held
her belly but stood slightly in front of Jared the entire time. The Judge
sighed and shook his head, pinching the bridge of his nose.
“That asshole thinks he can just show up and… augh! This has always been his
problem, Misha! I’m never fucking good enough for his baby brother. He’s always
had the stink eye for me! But what if something had happened?!” Jensen was
shouting as he paced.
“Jen, I think you need to calm down,” the Judge muttered.
“Oh fuck,” Jensen groaned and sat on the floor, cradling his head in his hands.
“Misha, the fuck have I done?”
Thankfully, the Judge dismissed the breeders. “Please, I apologize for… well,
for everyone. You two should go to bed. You may choose your own rooms as you
see fit. Maybe get a snack from the kitchen before you do that?”
“Yes sir,” Nicky answered quickly. “Jared, let’s go.”
“But…”
“Let’s go,” she snapped.
Unaccustomed to her snapping at him, he stayed silent and followed after her,
trying his best to keep up but she was walking fast. By the time he reached the
kitchen he was out of breath and shaking from the exertion. He remained silent
and watched her as she angrily cut apples, cheese, and bread for them.
“I’m sorry,” she huffed. “I just… he makes me so mad!” She threw down her
knife. “All of them! Jared, don’t they seem strange to you? Please, it’s not
just me who notices these things, is it?”
He did not know how to reply. On one hand he was very fond of Jensen and wanted
to comfort him. On the other hand, he feared Jensen in many ways. Jared never
knew what would upset his Master and while that often happened with new
Masters, he’d been so accustomed to the clear rules Master Eli had set up. He
suddenly wished he was with Master Eli and Nicky in one of the libraries,
beside the fire, purring contently as Master read them a story.
“Fine,” Nicky muttered and gathered up the food to put on a tray. “I know that
this is difficult for you and I will not push you but one day you will see that
this is not at all right.”
She led them out of the kitchen and towards the breeder stairs in the back of
the house, balancing the tray partially on her belly, looking back behind her
shoulder to make sure Jared was keeping up. When they reached the stairs, they
encountered the problem of how to get up the stairs.
“This is intolerable,” the older breeder grumbled, setting the tray down. “I’ll
come back down for that. Get on, I don’t want you putting any weight on that
leg.” She stood in front of him and crouched down enough for him to climb onto
her back. He protested once but she would hear none of it. “I may be carrying a
litter but I am not weak. Slow maybe, but not some frail thing.”
Carefully, they made their way up the stairs. Jared held onto her and closed
his eyes, praying that he didn’t feel as heavy as he thought he was. At the top
of the stairs, she set him down and sat on the top step, panting heavily.
“I’m fine,” she breathed. “Just need a minute.”
He lowered himself to her, keeping his leg straight in front of him the entire
time, and began to rub her belly. She purred at the touch and nuzzed his cheek.
Soon enough, within a few minutes, her breathing was regular again.
“I’m sorry,” she mewled, tears falling. “I’m… Jared, I don’t want to leave you.
And they seem so strange to me, it frightens me. I hate telling you to be brave
when I am not brave myself.”
Pressed close together, he wrapped his arms around her and kissed her. He
purred for her as she had for him so many times.
They stayed like that for some time, until she remembered the tray. With a
laugh, she untangled herself and went to get it, coming back up with less
difficulty.
The top floor was well spaced out, and bigger than it originally seemed. There
were only three hallways, unlike their previous household, and both breeders
found their way around easily. Choosing to share a room, they selected the
smallest one in the west corner of the household.
In silence, they ate quickly, munching on tart apples and soft bread with salty
cheese. After some sips of water from a canteen, they prepared for bed. Nicky
had previously left a bottle of salve in the room, so when Jared undressed she
cleaned his back and redressed his wounds, which were healing well. In a day
they would be gone.
 
Undressed, both breeders slipped under the quilt and held onto each other.
Whatever tears fell, they ignored and did not mention because they understood.
“I’m glad you’re here,” Jared whispered right before he fell asleep.
He hoped that Jensen would sleep well that night, their first night in their
new household.
***** Conversation *****
Chapter Summary
     Jared has conversations with two people and learns new information
     during his first day in their new household.
Chapter Notes
     No specific tags for this chapter, just moving along.
     Quick one, but happy 50th chapter and 20k! THANK YOU! <3
     Fluff and potential smut next chapter, just a head's up.
At dawn, they woke up and it almost felt like they were in Jared’s bed.
This was their bed though, in an entirely new place, with sheets and quilts
that didn’t quite smell like them yet. Jared shifted as much as he could, tired
and slightly sore from sleeping on his back for the entire night. Six weeks
hadn’t felt like a long time with a cast but now he just wanted it off.
“Stop that,” Nicky groaned into her pillow. She had been lying on her side,
since she was also limited in her sleeping positions. “Flopping around like a
fish, I swear.”
“How else would you know I was awake?” Jared asked with a smile.
Sleepily, she replied, “I’d know because you finally stopped snoring.” She
mimicked his snores, drawing them out loudly, snorting into her pillow. The
younger breeder giggled and she turned to lie on her back. Carefully, he rubbed
her belly and felt a few morning kicks from the pups. Every day it seemed that
she was growing. The extra weight on her looked lovely. He kissed her
appreciatively until she swatted him away. It wasn’t long though, before she
was curled up to him, massaging his thigh above the cast.
“Nicky?” Jared whispered into her hair. “Why did Master Eli keep… keep Cody’s
chip active?”
At first she tensed up. “I told you that.”
“I know,” he sighed. “You said he copied the chip and put parts of it on other
breeders’ chips.”
“Yes and no. Eli gave Masters an option: they could deactivate the chip and
that breeder on file would be dead.” She sat up and flicked her hair over her
shoulder. “It was an option, not a requirement.”
“Yes, but why,” Jared pressed, trying to sit up as well. She placed her pillow
behind him. “What was the point? Besides not having to buy more breeders?”
“That was the point. It was his way of… of not… how did he explain it to me? He
said it was his way of cancelling the system.” She breathed in and out deeply,
closing her eyes for a moment then opening them and looking at Jared. “If he
didn’t have to buy another breeder, he thought it made him a better person. He
didn’t want to… participate in something he didn’t entirely believe in.”
Jared nodded. “He… he really cared for you.”
At this, she laughed.
“Jared,” Nicky sighed. “I loved him. As much as a breeder could love a Master,
I did. If I could keep one of these pups and raise them, I would hope… for them
to be such a Master as he is.” The tense she used did not escape his notice. He
smiled and embraced her. “Jared, Eli was very careful with everything. He knew
the system well because he came from a large, high-ranking family from the
South.” Her tone was serious now. “He kept the appearance of farming breeders
to keep suspicious Masters off his trail. He understood what he was doing. Our
Masters currently do not understand what they are doing. This could be trouble
for all of us, especially us, which is why I get so upset.” She paused to kiss
Jared. “Eli never made promises he could not keep; he was realistic and
practical with me at all times. The Judge is kind, this is true, but to what
end? He will not breed me, he will not acknowledge me as his breeder. I can see
he is taken with me but why? For a night of service?”
At this she rose from their bed. “I don’t want to get attached to a Master that
will only put me to auction after my pups are born. He will finish his business
here with the Doctor and he will leave. I am realistic and practical about
that. Wait here and I’ll bring a basin.”
Before Jared could say anything, she was already in the tiny adjoining
bathroom. It had a small tub that only fit one at a time; a far cry from their
previous household.
While she washed him with a towel, careful and gentle in her work, he thought
about her answers. He thought about how there was now a silence between her and
the Judge.
As if on command, the Judge appeared.
“Oh, good, you are both awake,” he said, looking sleepy. “Can I bring you
anything? Breakfast?”
“We can manage, thank you,” Nicky replied shortly.
His blue eyes dimmed a bit, or so Jared thought. The smile remained, but it
seemed plastered on. “Of course. I did manage to whip up some omelets for
everyone, if you’re hungry?”
“Yes please,” Jared interjected. “But can you take me down, please? I… I want
to speak with Jensen.”
The Judge moved quickly, happy to hear Jared’s request. Nicky gave him a
cautious look but shrugged. She slipped a robe onto Jared and brushed his hair
quickly, pinning a few unruly curls back with simple bobby pins. Finished, the
Judge picked Jared up, with only a little difficulty. He seemed very proud of
his ability to do so, so Jared didn’t mention how Master Jeff seemed to do it
as if Jared were a pebble in his palm.
“Will you join us?” the Judge asked Nicky, his tone softer. “Please?”
Her eyes flickered to Jared then to the Judge. “Yes, thank you,” her tone
quieter. “I’ll follow down, just give me a minute to find something that fits.”
The Judge took the breeder stairs, which were the closest to their chosen room,
and it made Jared smile. This Master didn’t seem to mind which stairs he took.
Once downstairs, Jared smelled eggs and bacon and coffee. The Judge sat him
down in the dining room, where he was alone until the Judge came back with
crutches.
“I’ll let Jen know you’re up,” the Judge remarked, serving Jared a cup of
juice. “Would you like to eat now or after your discussion?”
“Uh…”
“I might suggest after, so you can digest properly. But it’s up to you, if
you’re hungry now, that’d be best.”
“No, I think… I will wait. Thank you, sir.”
With a nod, the Judge left to find Jensen. He was barefoot again, but Jared
heard his footsteps. In a few minutes and a sip or two of sweet juice later,
Jensen walked into the dining room. Jared gave him a shy smile; he looked tired
but was dressed neatly.
“Mornin’,” he said to the young breeder with a nod. “You sleep alright? How’s
the leg?”
“Good morning. I did and it’s fine, thank you.”
Jensen grunted his approval and took a seat next to Jared. “Look… I… about
yesterday.”
“It’s fine. May I… May I please ask you something?” Jared felt his chest
tighten. Was this being brave? “Please?”
“Of course,” Jensen blurted out. “I mean, yeah buddy. Ask.”
The young breeder breathed in and out before finally asking his question. “How
long are we staying here, Jensen?” The boldness it took to ask that astounded
him; he’d never asked such a direct question to any Master before. It simply
wasn’t done. A breeder accepted everything that happened to them. A breeder
followed their Master’s plans without question, with complete trust and
obedience. Jared tensed up; the dull pain in his leg increased from his stress.
At first, Jensen frowned. Then he rubbed at his chin, at the tiny red hairs
growing there. Finally, he gave his reply, “Long as we can.”
Disappointed by the vague answer, Jared kept his eyes down and replied with a
small, “Oh.”
“Sorry…” Jensen murmured. “You’ve got another six or so months, right? So let’s
shoot for six months, okay? I mean, I can’t promise shit, but six sounds
alright. I guess I should’ve been cleared on that earlier.”
Jared smiled at the reworded answer, the previous day already forgotten. “Thank
you!”
Jensen nodded. “Look Jared, there’s still a lot I can’t exactly… say straight,
okay? Like, it’s all so fucked up, most times I don’t know what’s left or
right.” Jensen’s drawl was out in full force. “Yes you can settle in for at
least that much time. No, Misha and I are not selling Nicky as soon as she
delivers. He… he said that might be one of y’alls concerns and we wouldn’t… we
wouldn’t do that. She can stay as long as we’re here. I can’t… I won’t tell you
anything else because I don’t know anything else. I don’t know what’ll happen
or what we might end up being able to do or not to do. Do you understand?”
Excited and happy, Jared nodded.
“Is there anything else you’re worried about that you wanna ask about now?”
Jensen inquired, leaning forward.
Sensing that he had pressed his Master far enough—and because being brave was
tiring—Jared backed off. He said that no, he had his two most important
questions answered, thank you.
“I’m still sorry about shouting yesterday. I should’ve have lectured you. Y’all
did a good job cleaning up. Better than we could’ve,” Jensen said, leaning in.
“Thank you, Jared.”
If anyone had asked, Jared would playfully deny what happened next. Until a
smile would creep onto his face and settle there.
 
He leaned forward and kissed Jensen first. He was first.
The kiss deepened and Jared found himself quite breathless. He had missed
Jensen’s kisses.
“Ugh, please, not this damn early.”
Jared flinched and looked over Jensen’s shoulders. Master Jeff stood there, a
paper tucked under his arm.
“Get over it,” Jensen grumbled, kissing Jared once again.
“Get a room,” Master Jeff heckled, taking a place at the table.
“Gladly,” was said with a smirk and a wink by Jensen to Jared. “I slept well
but not as well as I would’ve with you. Sleep with me tonight?”
Master Jeff groaned and covered his ears. Jared laughed.
“Yes, that would be my pleasure.”
“Mine as well, sweetheart.”
The five of them sat down together in the dining room for breakfast and Jared
had too many slices of sweet bread with syrup.
This was an improvement. He could not wait to speak with Nicky and start their
first full day as the breeders of this household. There was so much to do for
the household and Jared looked forward to all of it. He would make good
memories while he could; he was determined. 
***** Swing *****
Chapter Summary
     The company settles into their new place and Jared learns a new word.
Chapter Notes
     PLEASE read the tags. Specific tags for this chapter include:
     explicit sex, multiple orgasms, oral sex, rimming, fingering.
     This chapter has sex and unusual amounts of fluff. Proceed with
     caution.
     Auuuugh this chapter. /cries/ Guys, I write this and I still am like,
     "WHY MY FEELS."
     Enjoy! Bask in the unusual happy fluff. This is a turning point for
     several reasons, let's see if y'all can figure out why.
     Comments and kudos are soooo appreciated! I love hearing from you
     guys! I worry when I don't. <3
It took a week for the household to settle.
The kitchen was up and running, and all the bathrooms were fully functional;
the entire house had running water to the breeders’ relief. There would be no
pumping water from a well and dragging it back to the household.
The New Year passed with a quiet dinner and evening spent in a large parlor on
the first floor. Pieces of colorful paper were cut into tiny pieces and thrown
into the air, which Jared was told was called confetti. Nicky didn’t seem to
enjoy the cleanup—neither did Jared afterwards—but it was very pretty.
There were a few minor repairs Jensen and Master Jeff continued to work on, but
Jared was assured that most of their repairs were cosmetic. The house wasn’t
old, it just had telltale signs of disuse. Master Eli had given them a good,
solid place. Although Jared was limited in knowing the grounds outside, he
began to know the inside very well. The breeders spent most of their time on
the first floor, working to make the household comfortable. At night, the Judge
helped Nicky upstairs, while either Jensen or Master Jeff carried Jared to
wherever he wanted to sleep that night. He switched back and forth between
sleeping with Nicky and Jensen, content that he had two beds that would welcome
him.
Although Jared sometimes felt awkward and shy around the three Masters if they
were all together, the more time they spent around each other, the more
pleasant the household was. The Judge and Jensen had gone into town a few times
for their business, while Master Jeff stayed in the household. Sometimes he
would spend all day outside, coming back only in the evening. Other times he
would spend all day inside, lounging in one of the two libraries, taking
careful notes and writing in a journal similar to Jensen’s. He always thanked
Nicky for reminding him to eat, and invited Jared to a few games of chess.
Master Jeff held himself better at chess than Jensen, but Jared still won his
fair share, much to his delight.
Just like at Master Eli’s house, at the end of every evening, both breeders
were given a piece of chocolate from a drawer in the kitchen that the Judge
kept well-stocked. He handed out every piece with a pat on the head, which
Jared grew very fond of. It was a routine that soothed him and gave him
something else to look forward to at the end of every day.
When another week passed just as quickly, Jensen had something for the
breeders. He presented it to them at dawn on the back porch.
The back porch, which led to the grounds, was not as grand as the one at Master
Eli’s household, where so long ago Jared and Nicky had giggled in the sun,
soaking it up and enjoying the warmth of summer. However, Jensen had fixed it
up nicely so that it was one of Nicky’s favorite places to be. When she was
done with the chores of the day, she spent her time sitting on the steps of the
porch, watching the grounds for something unnamed.
Sleepily, the breeders held onto a crutch each. Nicky had started to have more
difficulty moving, but insisted that she could still, just with one of Jared’s
crutches. The younger breeder was more than willing to share his crutches but
he could see that she was straining to walk even with its aid. The stairs tired
her more often and a few times Master Jeff had to carry her up them at night,
as neither Jensen nor the Judge could do so.
Jared watched her carefully even through their morning haze.
“What is it?” Nicky asked in half a yawn.
“It’s a porch swing,” Jensen declared, hands on his hips. “You sit on it and
y’know… you swing.”
“Does it go very fast?” Jared inquired, inching forward to inspect it.
Jensen laughed and shrugged. “Not really, I guess it depends. It’s meant for
relaxing. Here, I’ll show you.” He slid onto the new thing, which looked to
Jared like a lounge floating in the air, and stretched out. His lean, long form
was on display, which caused Jared to blush.
At an easy pace, Jensen began to swing. The younger breeder was eager to try it
and looked at Nicky, eyes wide with excitement.
She was much more reserved. “I’m… I’m a bit too heavy for that,” she said,
taking a small step backwards. “Go on, Jared. I’ll watch.”
Hopping off, Jensen shook his head. “It’s solid and sturdy enough for the three
of us if we wanted. C’mon, my craftsmanship isn’t that bad.” He smiled cheekily
at the older breeder. “Would it help if I got Misha to sit with you?”
“No that would not help!” Nicky stammered and blushed bright red. “Just… help
us on.”
“Alright, that’s the spirit. You first now, c’mon.” Jared watched with a smile
as he took great care in holding the swing in place and helping her on. She
squeaked when the swing started to rock back and forth. “Don’t worry, it goes
as fast as you want, just push with your foot. See? There you go. Okay buddy,
your turn.” Jensen stopped the swing again and lifted Jared onto it, propping
his leg up on the arm so that he was propped up against Nicky’s side.
The younger breeder couldn’t help but laugh at the first swing. He reached back
behind him and held onto Nicky, who in turn held onto him. When she was assured
that they would not crash down, she relaxed and began to purr. Jared tilted his
head back and saw that she had closed her eyes to bask in the rhythmic rocking
sensations. He managed to rub her belly for her, even though the angle was
awkward.
Fortunately, the swinging lounge—porch swing, Jared reminded himself—had
pillows on it, just like the ones inside that didn’t float. It was very
comfortable and deeply calming to both breeders.
Jensen stayed for a while, pushing them until they seemed to adjust completely.
He was thanked with yawns and purrs and a kiss from Jared before he left for
town.
“I do like this,” Nicky whispered, running a hand through Jared’s hair.
“Me too,” Jared replied and settled in, warm and sleepy. Jensen had given them
permission to sleep in longer. “Can we stay out here always?”
“I’d love that,” she murmured and sighed. “Wake me up soon, please?”
Soon ended up being two hours later, but no one minded.
 
That evening, Jared was in Jensen’s room.
It was a simple room, with a desk and the chest nearby it. Jared waited
patiently for Jensen to finish his notes. He had his glasses on, which meant he
was studying and did not want to be disturbed. The young breeder lay in bed,
purring softly, eyes fluttering open and shut, trying to stay awake after an
hour had passed.
Finally, he felt a dip in the bed.
Pink lips dusted his cheek, his nose, and thankfully, his mouth.
“Waited all day for this,” Jensen breathed, rubbing the stubble on his chin
against Jared’s.
“Mmm,” Jared sighed and stretched out, wrapped his arms around Jensen’s neck.
“Did you finish your business?”
A lazy smile appeared. “Yes, I did, thank you. Well, okay, not entirely…
there’s other important business I’d like to get to… if you catch my drift.” He
waggled his eyebrows, which caused Jared to laugh.
“Maybe.”
“Just maybe?”
“Can you…” Jared squirmed in his place for a moment. “Can you do that… that
thing?”
“What thing?”
“The thing,” he whispered, “with your mouth.”
It was difficult to ask his Master for anything because breeders did not ask.
They simply gave. But he did it and he was rewarded, because Jensen was kind
and thoughtful and obliging. Kisses and playful nips trailed down his chest to
his middle, which was still flat. Jared had explained to Jensen a few days
before that he wouldn’t start showing for another week or so. Although they had
been sharing a bed in the new household, they had not done much while in bed.
Jensen said he wanted things to be natural, which he further explained to Jared
that there was no rush. Most nights Jensen practiced running his hands all over
the breeder’s body, exploring and touching gently, for no other purpose than to
become familiar.
At first that had alarmed Jared—full body touches were for inspections.
However, he had learned to calm down and receive tender attention.
His good leg was spread out for more room, and his bad leg was minded with
care. Jensen crouched low and began with pressing kisses to the insides of
Jared’s thighs. The kisses became bites, leaving lovely lavender marks behind.
Jared panted as he felt his cock respond to every touch, bite, and lick.
Finally, Jensen’s mouth worked down to Jared’s already wet entrance.
Slick pushed out when his Master’s warm, rough tongue lapped at the tight ring
of muscle. The slick was lapped up and the muscle was pushed against with the
tip of the tongue. Jared held his breath then moaned as Jensen’s tongue wiggled
in, pushing past with eager determination. It didn’t take long for Jared to
begin wiggling with excitement, trying to push his hips up. When a finger slid
in next to Jensen’s tongue, Jared keened. Fresh slick made things wetter and
louder. He listened to the sounds of being opened up slow and deep, enjoying
each slurping noise Jensen made.
It surprised Jared when he was pinned down with two firm hands, his ass then
spread and held open.
Green eyes flickered, meeting Jared’s.
The hunger there caused Jared to mewl. His cock throbbed and bounced against
his stomach, leaking and twitching out larger bursts of come. Jensen dragged a
hand through the mess on Jared’s belly, then tasted it. Jared’s thighs
trembled.
“Easy, don’t worry,” his Master’s voice rumbled. “I got you.”
That mouth—Jared wanted to cry at the sight of it near his hips—inched towards
his cock.
When Jensen swallowed him up, taking Jared’s cock in his mouth and down his
throat with ease, Jared began to cry. Trembling and quaking, he pushed his hips
forward, into the silky heat of Jensen’s mouth, and begged for more. Those lips
wrapped themselves around the sensitive head and suckled, pulling and wringing
something out of Jared he had never guessed existed.
“Jensen!” Jared gasped. “Coming, coming, ahh!”
He wasn’t being penetrated but he was coming. He was coming all over the
waiting throat before him, coming all over Jensen’s tongue and eventually all
over his lips. Milk and come gushed in thick streams. Jared nearly lost it when
Jensen began to stroke his cock and cup his balls, applying a light pressure.
“More, oh, please more,” Jared cried, pushing his hips down to find Jensen’s
hand. “Yes, there… there! I… I… ahh!” This time Jensen pulled off of Jared’s
cock, which was for the best, since Jared came so hard it knocked the wind out
of him for a minute.
“You’re gonna come again,” Jensen commanded with a growl. “Come again, c’mon
sweetheart. There you go.” Two fingers were pushed into him and Jared felt
himself wake up as if scorched with electricity. The spot inside him was
mercilessly pounded against, Jensen’s capable fingers curling deep. There were
so many sensations; Jared couldn’t sort them all out.
 He caught sight of the muscles in Jensen’s arms working and flexing.
Once more, that mouth was wrapped around his cock, as wet as Jared’s entrance
was. When Jensen began hallowing out his cheeks, sucking with full force, Jared
felt his spine straighten and go rigid.
“Ahhh!” That was all Jared could manage to shout as he began to release down
Jensen’s throat. He bucked and felt his entrance clamp down on the fingers
penetrating him. He worked them as hard as he could and watched with pleasure
as Jensen drank everything. Every last drop was licked away.
It took more than a few minutes for the young breeder to calm down. He felt
like his heart might as well burst, it was pounding so hard. Jensen wiped his
mouth with the back of his hand then licked his lips and smirked. Jared felt
dizzy.
Panting, Jensen drawled, “’s that the thing you wanted?”
Jared shuddered and nodded, purring as Jensen pulled away, cleaned them up, and
kissed him. He tasted sweet, which surprised Jared. He’d never tasted himself
before.
“I’m so glad you’re here,” Jensen whispered, his voice rough but his tone
gentle. He looked at Jared sincerely, then cupped his cheek, rubbing his thumb
along Jared’s bottom lip.
The breeder felt like he could float away; maybe the bed was swinging.
He felt something he could only describe as similar to his feelings for Nicky,
for doll, for his pups.
“Oh,” Jared breathed, pulling Jensen close. They were pressed together, tangled
up as much as they could be, sticky and warm.
“I think I…” the breeder murmured, the lights in the room dimming as he fought
to stay awake. “I think I love you.”
 
When the room went dark, Jared was not afraid.
“I think I love you too sweetheart,” his Master replied, an arm draped over
him. “I think I always have.”
For as long as it would be, this was home.
Jared had never had one of those before.
***** Preparations *****
Chapter Summary
     Jared's cast is taken off just in time for the household to prepare
     for visitors.
Chapter Notes
     Read the tags, no specific warnings for this chapter.
     Shorter chapter but a longer one coming up. Usually a cast will be on
     for ten weeks, but breeders heal faster. Just thought I would clarify
     that part.
     Lots of mystery going on about "going back" and such! Also, it
     doesn't help that Jeff pushes Jensen's buttons. These are questions
     that are important, but damn Jeff, ease up. XD
     There will be visitors in the next chapter, which usually means
     something ominous (you know me) but I don't need to put in a head's
     up warning. You don't have to brace yourselves, is what I'm saying.
     Comments, questions, kudos, etc. are all appreciated. <3
     PS. Doing another round of world building Wednesday this week! Anon
     is open and I am eagerly awaiting verse questions. Go to
     ittakesalotofwater.tumblr.com to ask your lovely question. :D
A few hours later, when it was still dark and quiet out, Jared was woken up by
a gentle hand on his cheek.
With a yawn, he curled up closer to Jensen, snuffling as he molded himself
around his Master, as much as his leg would allow. It seemed like Master was
making sure the breeder was still there. What could make him think Jared might
leave, when he knew no sweeter place than this? It had never before occurred to
him that maybe… maybe older Jared had left.
Maybe late at night, he had fluttered away from Jensen.
Or perhaps he had been taken.
Either way, these thoughts caused Jared to hold out his arms. Jensen
understood; he pulled the breeder in from an embrace that did not end.
They spent the rest of the night tangled up in each other.
 
It took a full month of residence to have visitors from town.
Only a few days before the visitors were to arrive, Jared got his cast taken
off. Master Jeff sawed it off and felt Jared’s bones with his careful, expert
hands.
“A clean heal in record time,” he commented, taking notes in his notebook. “You
might be weak in that leg for a while, so best to take it easy and limit the
stairs. Definitely no running yet. But it all feels good. Let’s do a few
exercises?” Every day, Master Jeff and Jared spent two hours together. The
exercises were simple and amused Jared; he purred during all of them, enjoying
the feeling of his muscles working once more. Master Jeff told Jared a story as
they worked together on the back porch, Nicky in the swinging lounge, sleeping
as she was prone to do lately. The weather was still chilly, especially at
night, but she no longer was comfortable in a regular bed; the swinging
provided some small comfort and eased the pressure off her back.
She slept as she had never slept before. She no longer woke up at dawn with
Jared. Most nights he spent with her, even if she slept and he stayed awake. He
wanted to be there if she should need anything. The weight of her belly
rendered her mostly immobile. It was a weight Jared remembered.
If she had to get out of the lounge she could not do so on her own. Many times
the Judge helped her, with Jensen and Master Jeff alternating, but he could not
be there all the time. So, the breeders spent their time on the back porch and
Jared often listened to her soft, steady breathing. He would slip into the
lounge with her and purr against her back.
Presently, a day before company arrived, Jared was finishing his exercises with
Master Jeff. He was flat on his back, with Master Jeff pushing Jared’s right
leg up to his chest.
“You’re showing,” Master Jeff commented, his tone light but concerned. “I… I
hadn’t noticed until now.”
Jared’s right hand immediately went to his belly, which was now a little
rounder. He had noticed a few days prior to getting his cast off but he had
hesitated to mention it to anyone but Nicky. Even Jensen hadn’t said anything.
Sensing Jared’s unease, Master Jeff smiled and shook his head.
“Congratulations. Are you feeling well?”
“Yes,” Jared replied, returning the smile. “Hungrier than usual.”
“That’s probably good, right? Should you be taking vitamins?”
“Vitamins?” Jared scrunched up his nose. “I’m not sick, sir.”
Master Jeff looked as confused as Jared was. He blushed and set Jared’s leg
down. “I’m sorry. Uh. Where I come from… folks who get pregnant take prenatal
vitamins. To make sure… that the baby is healthy. That doesn’t happen here,
does it?”
“No…” Jared wanted to say more, wanted to ask more, but he wasn’t sure that was
his place. They both looked at each other for a moment, each one trying to
decipher the looks of the other, when Nicky groaned from her place. Instantly,
Jared was up and at her side.
Groggy and uncomfortable, she woke up, blinking awake gradually, hands on her
belly. Jared eased her into a sitting position, shifting her with care. Master
Jeff stood, ready to assist. The older breeder yawned and stretched, flicking
her hair back. “Just a strong kick, right against my rib,” she reported.
“They’re playing rough in there.”
“All strong heartbeats,” Master Jeff commented. “It’s a good sign.”
She nodded and gave them both a small smile. “Nearly there. I can feel it.”
There were no robes that fit her anymore, so she spent her time unclothed,
draped in blankets. Jared thought she still looked lovely.
“Jared,” she yawned. “Did you put together a menu for tomorrow?”
The younger breeder snapped to attention and he grabbed his supplies from under
the swing. Jensen had given him a book full of blank pages just for him, but
Jared found it so overwhelming. A breeder couldn’t possibly have that many
thoughts, that many things to say that it would fill up an entire book. So
Jensen had ripped out three sheets of creamy, crisp paper and told Jared to
start there. The first piece of paper had his outline of the menu for the next
evening. He ran it through with Nicky, who would be awake for an hour or two
before going back to sleep. Master Jeff took a seat across from them and wrote
in his own journal, occasionally looking up and once going to get water for
both of them.
“Careful not to let the beef cook too long,” Nicky said, holding Jared close
and kissing his cheek. “Other than that, I think it’s a menu that highlights
your skills perfectly.”
He blushed at this compliment. Her praise was priceless. Just as he kissed her
back, he felt one of her pups kick against his belly. She apologized and asked
if he was eating enough. Jared assured her he was. He thought he was. He didn’t
want to overstep his boundaries and begin eating too much. Both breeders did
not have a bin and Jensen gave him permission to eat whenever he liked. Still,
Jared worried. He ate conservatively and filled up during breakfast to make
sure he wouldn’t be hungry during the day.
That evening, Nicky felt a store of milk drop. Jared helped her through it,
letting her hold onto his shoulders as she sat on the edge of the bed.
Any day now, her litter would be delivered.
They swung extra slow that night, bundled in blankets and sharing a heat pack,
looking up at the full moon.
 
Their visitors were, according to Jensen, high class people. He called them
some other words, but Jared didn’t want to repeat them, even in his thoughts.
The Judge was a little kinder in his assessment, though he was worried. At
breakfast, Jared heard them speak about dinner.
“We’ve got to be careful,” Master Jeff grumbled. “Don’t know why you invited
them over anyway.”
Jensen huffed and loaded his plate up with pancakes Jared had made from
scratch. “Wasn’t my fucking idea, Jeff. Besides, if we had said no that
would’ve been a red flag. Inviting them over means we ain’t got nothin’ to
hide. Ain’t that right, Misha?”
The Judge’s attention was towards the porch, which made Jared smile, but he
promptly joined in on the discussion. “Ah, yes. Rejecting their offer would
have been seen as strange. It would have been potentially ostracizing. However,
Jensen, our household does not run in a traditional manner. This could backfire
and cause… well, less than happy consequences.” He sighed and stood up. “Excuse
me, please.”
All three of them watched the Judge exit the dining room and go out to the
porch.
Jared wiggled in his chair but stopped when he saw the look exchanged between
Master Jeff and Jensen.
“Not a good idea,” Master Jeff grumbled, sipping coffee.
“I told him not to get attached but you know how he is,” Jensen replied and
went back to sorting through the morning paper. “It’s not good to lead her on.”
“I don’t think she’s expecting anything… I just… Jensen, you can’t just go
back, do you understand? It’s so much more than your original plan now, don’t
you get it?” Master Jeff put down his cup and looked over at Jared. “Breeders
have a litter every year, right Jared?”
“Yes sir,” Jared answered without hesitation.
Master Jeff nodded and looked back at Jensen. “You want twenty-five kids, Jen?”
Jensen visibly bristled. “Don’t ask shit like that, Jeff. Not right now.”
“When then?” Jeff placed his hands on the table. “When you’ve brought him back
and you’ve got ten kids in ten years that you can’t take care of? And who are
all born with that same ability? What do you think people will say? You think
they’ll accept that… that this just happens? I don’t mind Misha getting
attached but I do mind you assuming that you could do this. You can’t introduce
a new population into a new environment without some serious research, Jen.
There are real consequences here!”
At that, Jensen pounded his fist on the table. Food and plates fell, shattering
on the floor. Jared yelped and shrunk back, slinking down to the floor to pick
up the mess.
“I know that! But what should I do, Jeff? You wanna ask the questions, fine,
give me answers too! Should I stay here and let my kids be treated this way? Or
stay here and watch them get taken away? Once we’re back I’ll find a way to… to
deal with everything. God dammit, Jay, you don’t…”
Jared froze at the name. He looked up, eyes wide, and waited for a command.
With a sigh, Jensen got down and started picking up pieces of pancake and
plate. “Sorry. You don’t have to pick up my mess. I’m sorry. Jeff… gets on my
nerves sometimes.”
From the table, Master Jeff snorted. He stood up and carried his plate to the
kitchen, thanked Jared for the meal, and went after Misha.
Kneeling on the floor, Jared held a handful of broken plate pieces close to
him.
“I…” Jared looked at Jensen. “I don’t want to leave her.”
Green eyes hardened. “Not now, Jared. Okay? I know you don’t want to get
separated but the way back is not the same way we came in and it’s… fucking
complicated, alright? I told you six months and you’re gonna get six months.”
Jensen helped Jared stand up. “Tonight is important, we’ve spoken about this.
We don’t need the government tracking us any further, so tonight we’ve got to
be the most boring household ever. Do you think we can pull it off?”
Something in Jared’s belly turned, causing him nausea. Dutifully, he answered
yes, they would get through tonight.
But honestly, he wasn’t so sure.
***** Flutter *****
Chapter Summary
     The guests arrive for a visit and it is Jared's first time
     entertaining as a first breeder.
Chapter Notes
     Read the tags please, but nothing too specific for this fic. Remember
     that this is an AU.
     A long chapter! Yay! I just saw Fall Out Boy in concert tonight so I
     was very well-inspired. :D
     Thank you so much for the questions this week. I still have a few to
     reply to and I'm looking forward to that. Oh my goodness I'm excited
     for the next chapter. XD
     Take some time and leave me a comment? I bask in them appreciatively
     when received! Thank you! <3
When a Master of title moved into a new community, it was customary for them to
receive visitors.
Established members of the community were expected to pay a visit, dine with
the new household, and welcome them into the neighborhood by telling them how
the town worked, the best shops in the market, and the best times to go, etc.
Jared had been to a few of these events before but had never been the first
breeder of the receiving household—or first breeder at all. He had a whole new
list of responsibilities and duties that he had to attend to, things that
involved intricate details and careful attention.
There was so much to do in preparation that he would have been excited if the
potential consequences of the evening were not so negative. Breeders, Jared
knew, liked to gossip. Nicky and Jared would be judged by the breeders visiting
that night and their reputation amongst other breeders in town would be formed.
They would notice every detail; he knew this because he had watched Nathanial
during their outings. Jensen emphasized that this visit went beyond the risk of
their social reputation; the breeders may have been cleared of abolitionist
connections but their interrogation was still fresh in everyone’s mind. The
breeders could not appear too casual, but in turn, the Judge reminded everyone,
the Masters could not appear too lenient either.
“It’s the banker and his first and second,” Jared told Nicky at midday. He sat
outside with her for the moment, finishing place cards as he’d once seen
Nathaniel do. He wanted to finish as much as he could with her company, while
she was awake. Even though she was uncomfortable, she insisted on folding the
napkins for the evening. It had been decided that she would remain outside
during the visit but Jensen and the Judge had informed her of what was going on
before they’d left for town.
Draping the napkins over her belly, Nicky folded with precision. “I’m sure
they’ll be used to finer things then. I hope you don’t mind that I gave Misha a
small list. They’ll be looking for opulence, and as much as I know you are fond
of this household, it lacks grandeur.”
“What kind of things?” Jared asked, dipping his pen in the ink well. His script
wasn’t nearly as elegant as Nathaniel’s or Nicky’s but it would have to do. He
had no extra time to spare for the cards.
“Mirrors and curtains, another silver tray for the coffee later and… supplies.
Chains and two posts.”
Jared froze at the mention of chains. He looked at her for clarification.
“I don’t mind,” she murmured, setting aside a napkin on a tray beside her and
then picking up another. “I offered, actually. It would seem quite strange if I
were out here unchained as I have been.”
“Only for tonight, right?” the younger breeder asked, more desperation in his
tone than he wanted to admit.
She calmly smiled and nodded. “Of course. Now, you should probably start
cleaning.” Quickly, she finished the last napkin and yawned. “I am due for
another nap. I’m sorry I am not more help. I could peel some of the potatoes
for you if you’d like?”
He promptly hushed her and took the tray inside, then returned to help her
settle in a more comfortable position. Once he had her turned on her side and
covered with a quilt, he let her sleep. For a moment he hovered—how he wanted
the visit to be cancelled and everyone to leave them alone—but he reminded
himself of his duties and his position of honor. This was an opportunity to
show Jensen that he was capable of running a household.
A deep cleaning of the household took two hours. It would have taken more but
Master Jeff washed all the windows once he returned from his daily outdoor
activities. He kept Jared company for most of the time, asking him to pause
from working to do half an hour of their usual exercises. Jared relented but
was nervous throughout their entire time. They were outside, near Nicky so the
breeder could keep a watch on her. He heard her soft purring from his place on
the floor and tried to focus on remaining calm.
Master Jeff pushed his right left back and held it in place, counting quietly
for ten seconds. He extended Jared’s leg after that and Jared’s breath hitched.
“Oh.”
“What? Pain?”
Immediately Jared placed his hand over his belly and breathed out. He smiled up
at Master Jeff, who had very concerned hazel eyes. “I felt a heartbeat.”
Awe was expressed. Master Jeff helped Jared sit up. For a moment, they sat
there in silence, before Jared was tugged into a tight embrace. When Jared
settled in Master Jeff’s arms, he felt another flutter in his belly; a light
tickling, bubbly sensation he recognized. He closed his eyes, the evening
before them forgotten, and began to purr when he felt a hand on his head,
stroking through his hair.
“I’m sorry,” Master Jeff whispered. “I don’t mean to get all… emotional.”
Unsure of how to respond to a Master apologizing to him, Jared returned the
embrace and purred against Master Jeff’s chest so he could feel it properly.
The hand on his head never left.
The rest of the afternoon passed by quickly, with Master Jeff staying beside
Jared the entire time. He was a great help, even when Jared said he didn’t
technically have to help out. Together, they finished cleaning the house, put
together the dining room, and started dinner.
The flutter never left. Jared couldn’t wait to tell Jensen.
 
When the remaining two Masters arrived at the household chaos was let loose.
Dutifully, the Judge had purchased all the items Nicky had suggested. However,
those items had to be put up and arranged to look as if they had been in the
house all along. Jared felt himself pulled in four directions at once; he
wanted to talk to Jensen and share his news, but he needed to hang the curtains
properly, take a few things off the grill and place them in the hearth to keep
warm, and situate Nicky before the guests arrived.
The young breeder hoped he would have a moment later to speak to Jensen. There
were just too many things that needed to be done. For the most part, however,
the household was in a good mood, with the Judge trying to keep everyone
laughing and smiling. He presented Jared with a small piece of chocolate,
wrapped in a silver foil so pretty that Jared saved it, tucking it away in his
pocket. Suddenly, Jared remembered that he had to change robes.
“I need to wash up,” Jared announced, walking into the living room where the
Masters were talking. “Is that alright? Everything is done.” The guests would
be arriving in half an hour and Jared still had to check on Nicky.
“Oh, wait up,” Jensen said, getting up from his seat and running over to Jared.
“Let’s both go get dressed.”
“No inappropriate activities,” the Judge snickered from his chair. “Wouldn’t
that be the best sort of first impression?”
“Anyone who knew you wouldn’t be surprised,” Master Jeff quipped. “Go on.
Jared’s got something he’s been wanting to tell you anyway.” Jensen looked at
the breeder inquisitively, which caused him to blush. He didn’t think this was
that special but he certainly enjoyed the attention. Together, they went up the
main stairs and to Jensen’s room, where Jared kept a drawer of the things he’d
brought with. He said hello to doll and held her for a moment, squeezing her
close to him before setting her back on her nightstand, which Jensen had said
was just for her.
Jensen began undressing. He was naked as he rooted through a few of his
drawers, searching for an outfit.
“I pressed one for you,” Jared said, his voice soft. “It’s hanging in the
bathroom if you’d like to freshen up.”
“Ah, thank you. Now,” Jensen slipped on a long, light house coat. “What’s the
news you wanted to tell me? Something good?”
The young breeder proceeded to report the news and was taken by surprise at the
reaction. Jensen had a hand pressed against his belly soon after, and when he
could not feel anything, he pressed his ear to it. Jared laughed and shook his
head. “You won’t be able to feel it yet.”
Jensen pouted. “No fair. Wait… maybe…” He wrapped his arms around Jared’s
middle and gave a squeeze, causing the breeder to squeal. “Ahh nope just you.
This is great news, thank you for sharing it with me. I’m sorry shit has been
so busy today. Maybe we can wind down together when everyone’s gone?” He stood
up and embraced Jared completely. The breeder began to purr, loud and deep, his
hands at Jensen’s chest.
“I would like that,” Jared whispered and closed his eyes as Jensen kissed him.
He thought of how handsome Jensen would look in his outfit Jared had selected.
Of how the child he carried now would know the feeling of family and home.
At this, Jared’s eyes snapped open. “I need to check on Nicky!”
With a nod, Jensen gave his approval. He had to dress anyway, but he did not
let Jared leave without a firm grope. It all made Jared feel giddy and
energetic as he practically skipped down the stairs.
 
His happiness was short lived.
It hurt him to see her chained to the house.
The Judge and Master Jeff had moved her off the swing and carefully placed her
down in the corner of the porch, sitting up, slightly laying on her side. Jared
brought out as many pillows and blankets for her as he dared, hoping no Master
would say anything. With tenderness, he made her a nest and tucked her in,
kissing her cheek and brushing her hair back. She smiled at him in return. For
a moment, he rubbed her belly and indulged in her purrs and gentle kisses
against his face. He wanted to stay with her, safe in her arms, where no one
expected anything out of him and no one was watching and criticizing his every
move.
“Stop worrying,” she chided, yawning as they parted. “I’ll be fine.” It did
seem that she would be alright, at least until dinner was over. The Judge had
provided her with three freshly made heat packs and a small tray of her own
with water and a plate of hot food Jared had made special for her. “If I need
anything I’ll be sure to speak up.”
“How will I hear you?” Jared murmured, kneeling down with her. Before coming
down, he had quickly changed into a new robe, dyed a turquoise color that
Jensen said made his eyes seem blue. “I wish you would be next to me.”
She snorted and waved him away. “Nonsense. You’ll do fine. And if anything goes
wrong, sneak out to see me and I will counsel as best I can. But that won’t
happen because you will do fine. Now go, I hear a carriage.”
Obeying, Jared left her, still bothered by the chain around her neck.
 
At long last, after much anticipation, their guests arrived. Jared watched from
a window near the entryway, nervously pacing as the carriage wound down the
lane. The carriage was ornate, with good horses, but beyond that, Jared
realized that a breeder was driving it.
Apprehension built in his chest as he heard the carriage stop and the horses
being tied down. This was his first time receiving visitors in a household
where he was first breeder. Odd but he hadn’t expected to be so full of concern
and worry. Would the beef be juicy and flavorful enough? Were the vegetables
seasoned well? Had he helped Jensen select the right wine to pair with
everything? He forgot to polish the new tray! But there was no time for that!
He could hear their footsteps approach the door and before he knew it, he was
opening the front door and saying a cheerful greeting and introduction.
This new Master was tall and broad shouldered, with a black beard and long hair
tied back in a simple braid. His face seemed kind and his eyes looked cheerful;
he even greeted Jared in return before handing over his coat and gloves. Jared
stepped back and the breeders followed their Master, elegant, sophisticated
individuals just as Nicky had predicted. Both were dressed in matching gold
robes trimmed with glimmering buttons and beads. He shut the door and accepted
from them their shawls, which felt like spun clouds and nearly slipped from his
hands.
Dutifully, Jared led them out of the entryway and into the nearest sitting
parlor, where his three Masters were waiting. At once, Jensen rose from his
chair, smiling wide, and shook the visiting Master’s hand.
“Joshua! Welcome! It’s a pleasure to have you here, in our modest
accommodations. I hope your travel was pleasant?” As Jensen spoke, Jared
motioned to the two breeders to sit on pillows near their Master’s designated
chair. He had been careful to select the most comfortable pillows for them. In
graceful movements, both breeders knelt and kept their heads down, nodding a
thank you to Jared.
Next on his list of things to do was put their things away in a hallway closet.
He quickly padded out of the parlor to do so; he heard Jensen make
introductions and Master Jeff speak. On his way back, Jared heard the Judge
propose a light drink and some conversation before dinner. This was the way
visits were done, Jared knew that. They would converse in the parlor for about
half an hour, then he would lightly tell his Master dinner was ready if they
should so like to dine. While the Masters settled into their chairs, Jared
would plate, serve, and attend to their needs. He could do this. He kept
repeating that to himself internally.
Jensen listened to the drink Master Joshua asked for. He turned to Jared for a
moment and lightly said, “Fix two of those for us, will you Jared?” Turning
back to rejoin the conversation, Jensen gave no other order. The Judge and
Master Jeff asked for theirs after and Jared slipped out of the parlor again,
then headed to the kitchen. As he made the drinks—all ones he had prepared
before, thankfully—he noticed that Jensen was working to hide his accent. Jared
could only detect small hints of it but Jensen was skilled at masking it. Only
when he returned, served the drinks, and settled into his place on the floor
beside Jensen, did he get a chance to observe the two breeders.
Although both were quite sumptuously dressed, only one had makeup on. Both
were, as far as Jared could tell, much the same as he was with flat chests and
slightly broader shoulders. However, their pronouns were something he would not
find out until mentioned to him directly or overheard otherwise.
The one with makeup appeared to Jared to be the first breeder, who had not been
driving the carriage. They had amber skin and a rounder face, with sparkling
violet eyes, highlighted by expertly applied gold powder. They even had
earrings, several in each ear. And their slippers, which Jared could only
slightly see, were trimmed in the same finery as the rest of their outfits. The
younger breeder couldn’t help but fidget, suddenly feeling undressed and plain.
Should he have somehow dressed himself better? He didn’t know how to tie his
robes in fashionable, fancy ways and Nicky hadn’t been able to help. Now his
worry was that he seemed like a breeder not fit for Jensen’s company.
As if sensing the inner war Jared was waging, Jensen laid a hand on Jared’s
head, calmly petting him until a purr sounded. Basking in his Master’s touch
instantly made Jared more relaxed.
After the proper amount of time, Jared nudged Jensen’s hand, his signal that
they could move into the dining room. Jensen pat him once more and announced to
the Masters in the room that, “Something smells delicious, let’s eat.” Ignited
by the praise, Jared looked up to Jensen, happy and excited.
Without word, the three breeders followed, except that Jared went into the
kitchen directly. When he heard the Judge address the breeders and ask them to
sit, he was comforted. Usually it was the first breeder’s responsibility to
attend to the guest breeders, and for the second breeder of the household to do
all the plating (as Jared had once done for Nathaniel). However, Jared was both
roles tonight. It had been determined that he should kneel on the floor also,
so as not to ostracize the guests. Master Jeff had tried to get Jared to eat a
meal before the event, but Jared’s stomach had been too tied up in knots of
worry to keep anything down. He assured Master Jeff that he would eat
afterwards, when their visit was done.
Plating, he felt no hunger. Instead, he felt oddly calm and focused. These were
tasks with which he was familiar with. He knew exactly how to plate the salads
and starters so that they looked even more appealing. Not one vegetable or
starter was out of place. Proudly, Jared carried in two plates, serving Jensen
and Master Joshua first. He didn’t dare do more than two plates at once, even
if it was faster. When he saw that all were served and started eating, he took
his place on a pillow near the head of the table, where Jensen was. Master
Joshua was seated to his left and the Judge to his right, with Master Jeff at
the opposite side of Jensen.
It was always considered best that a breeder not listen to the conversation of
the Masters present, however, a breeder must always be alert to the refill of a
glass or any additional servings. Jared kept careful, focused attention to the
sound of their cutlery and how many times each Master took a drink. Jensen was
kind and signaled him when they were ready for the main course by giving him a
pat on the head. As Jared stood to go to the kitchen, Master Joshua commanded
his second breeder to help out.
Both breeders looked at each other and Jared gave a tentative smile which was
returned.
Once in the kitchen, the breeder introduced themselves.
“Our names are Matthew and Natan,” they murmured quietly, bowing slightly
before Jared. “Natan is my first breeder. Where is yours?”
The question threw Jared off slightly—he thought he had appeared to be the
first breeder but perhaps not—but he did not falter as he took the main course
out of the hearth. The beef smelled and looked perfect as he cut into it,
serving hefty portions. Nicky told him that if he loaded the plate with more
meat it would appear that they dined like this every night. In reality, Jared
usually kept to making very simple dishes. Some nights Jensen would only ask
for tomato soup and a sandwich, which Jared was always happy to make fresh and
from scratch.
“I am the first breeder,” Jared replied, keeping his tone cordial. “I’m Jared
and my second is outside. Her name is Nicky.” With a towel, Jared wiped the
edges of the first two plates, ensuring that nothing looked sloppy.
“You’re very young to be the first,” Matthew commented, allowing Jared to do
the plating. “Is she even younger?”
To this, Jared didn’t know what to answer. What if, for some reason, the
breeders wanted to see her? What if their company went outside and he was
proven to be a liar? In the end, as he finished the last plate, he answered
honestly. “She is three years older than I.”
Matthew’s brown eyes widened. “And you are still the first? I’m sixteen, Natan
is twenty. I did not think anyone younger would be the first breeder for a
Doctor.”
A nod was given before Jared handed Matthew two plates. His patience was
wearing thin. “Please take care and do not spill,” Jared murmured. “Thank you
for your assistance.” Nicky had told him it would be best for him to thank them
at every opportunity, so that he came off as very generous. This was a bit
difficult for Jared to do, especially since he sensed criticism in the
breeder’s tone, but he did it. He would follow her rules because he trusted
her. He thought of her while he placed a plate in front of Jensen and then one
in front of the Judge.
With a careful eye, Jared watched Matthew set down the plates for Master Joshua
and Master Jeff. Nothing was spilled or moved out of place. Once again, Jared
occupied his place next to Jensen.
True to tradition, Master Joshua began telling the Masters at the table about
the best times to shop at the marketplace and which stalls were known for fair
prices and which, according to him, “Would take the very coat off you!” He
suggested a brothel, the mention of which Jared at first tensed up to. However,
the Master quickly added, “But you have such a precious breeder there, Doctor.
Very fine facial structure. Was he expensive?”
Jensen set down his napkin on his lap, smoothing it out once. He cleared his
throat and took a swig of wine. “No, not very. Well, to some his price may be
high, but it was no trouble. I’m sure you can appreciate that, Joshua.”
Master Joshua laughed loudly and placed a hand on Jensen’s shoulder. “Indeed I
can! For a beautiful breeder no price is too high. My two lovelies were passed
down to me from my esteemed, late father. He handpicked them you know. We’ve
been very fortunate with quotas. Has your investment paid off?”
There was hesitation in Jensen’s reply. Jared saw the Judge kick him from under
the table.
“Not as of yet,” Jensen replied smoothly, picking up his cutlery once more.
“Should see in about six months’ time though.”
“Excellent, good to hear. When you are ready for a second, I would ask that you
come to me for the purchase. I know of the best dealers and auctioneers in the
entirety of Lee. They’ll give you a beauty and a fair deal. None of that
terrible stock like they have in Meridian. Not to speak ill of your former
place of residence, but I did some trades there and my goodness. The way their
breeders are sold! Quite ghastly. Ah, Judge, you too! When you are in need of a
first, you will let me know won’t you?”
“I will most happily knock on your door,” the Judge answered, his voice with
its usual lightness. “I could think of no better person I would seek advice
from. I thank you.”
After that, their conversation turned to business and the layout of Lee.
Everything sounded as if it were going well. Jared wished he could sneak out
and see how Nicky was doing. Time passed by and Jared was given a signal for
dessert. He’d made something Jensen requested specifically. When he cut into
the sweet cake—drizzled with icing and topped with pecans—he saw Jensen’s eyes
glaze over. With a smile, he served each Master a sizeable piece, then went to
the kitchen and brought out coffee on the new silver tray. If he wasn’t fancy,
at least the items in the household were. The tray gleamed and the coffee
smelled fine; he was proud that his meal was coming to a close on a strong
note. The cake was sweet but not too rich to upset their stomachs and the
coffee paired perfectly. He knelt down and not too much longer after that,
Jensen commented to Jared, “Outside, will you Jared?”
Excited and eager to share the news of the evening, Jared slipped away from his
place and went outside. He ran over to the corner Nicky was in. She was
burrowed in her nest of blankets but something was wrong.
“Nicky!” Jared gasped, falling to his knees. “What is it?”
Startled, she flinched. “Oh, Jared. It’s… I just…” She breathed out and tried
shifting. “I need to walk around. Please? I’m sorry to keep you.”
“No, of course I can help. Here.” He grabbed her hands and together they hefted
her up. Her belly was the biggest it would be, hanging low with the weight of
it. She struggled to walk but was able to if she held onto Jared. Moaning
lowly, she took a few slow, labored steps forward. The chain around her neck
dragged behind her; there was plenty of give to it, the Judge had made it long
on purpose.
“My back hurts,” she admitted softly, panting with the effort it took to move.
“Did you drink tea? I’ll place a heat box near your hips when we’re done,”
Jared said gently, his hold on her firm. “Are you okay?”
It was cold outside but she felt warm to him. He was glad she had kept herself
covered. The night was clear and the back lawns looked lovely, painted in
moonlight. She assured him she was fine, just uncomfortable and nothing would
really help that. For a minute Jared filled her in on the details from the
evening, until he heard the porch door open. Both expected Jensen, or perhaps
the Judge, and were surprised when one of the new breeders stepped out. It was
Natan, the first breeder of Master Joshua. They walked directly towards Nicky
and placed a gentle hand on her shoulder.
“You should not be moving,” they said, concerned.
Nicky groaned and trembled, squeezing Jared’s hands. “I’m fine,” she panted.
“I… thank you for the concern.” Two more steps forward and she had to pause,
leaning against Jared’s side as much she dared. For a moment, an awkward
silence lay between the three of them. The visiting breeder broke it by
commenting on how interesting it was that Nicky was a second breeder when she
had the qualities of a first.
“Jared,” Nicky breathed, her chest heaving. “Fetch… fetch the Judge for me. Do
that, please? Set me down here. Yes, that’s it. Go. Please.” The tone in her
voice alarmed him, bothered him more than the comments made by their guest. He
let her down as easy as he could, leaving her on her side, and asked Natan to
follow him. The breeder hesitated but eventually followed Jared inside. The
Masters were in the living room attached to the dining room, all of them on
lounges, looking relaxed and comfortable.
“Master,” Jared spoke to the Judge, bowing deeply. “I… I humbly require your
assistance, please.”
Conversation between Jensen and Master Joshua did not stop, but the Judge
looked at Jared with alarmed eyes and hurried up out of his lounge. Jared
walked in front of him, leading the way into the kitchen. He felt the gaze of
the breeders on him and tried not to worry about them. Nicky was much more
important and he needed to focus.
Outside, the Judge broke into a run and knelt beside Nicky, placing a familiar
hand on her neck. Jared began to panic when he saw her shaking in pain. The
Judge nearly ripped off his coat to place it on her, draping it over her
shoulder.
Quietly, Jared checked to see if her water had broken. It had not. He heard her
whisper to the Judge that she was having contractions but her back hurt worst
of all. He also heard her apologize over and over again and she begged him not
to punish Jared for getting him.
“I’m glad he did,” the Judge assured her. “What can I do for you?” His question
was genuine and sincere.
It was decided, after a minute of deliberating, that the Judge would help Nicky
walk around a little more while Jared attended to the last of the visit. The
Judge gave him permission to come back outside as soon as the guests were gone.
The last thing Jared saw before going back inside was the Judge’s hand on
Nicky’s belly, gentle and reverent. She was at least well taken care of.
 
When Jared returned to the living room, Jensen gave him a concerned look, but
it was swept away and replaced by an amused expression as he continued speaking
to Master Joshua. Jared dared a glance at Master Jeff, who was taking notes but
looked up for a moment and met Jared’s gaze. He nodded and went back to his
writing.
Jared tried his best not to fidget on his pillow. The other two breeders were
so perfectly still, they could claim statues as relatives. Not another word
passed between them for the duration of the evening and Jared was just fine
with that.
Finally, the Masters’ conversation dwindled and the Master took his leave,
stating he had an early appointment in town that required grave attention.
“They found an abolitionist a week ago, pressed the charges, succeeded, and now
his things are up for auction. You can imagine it’s quite an ordeal to find a
buyer for his property now.” With a sigh, he stood up with Jensen. “My good
Doctor, it’s been a wonderful evening. I thank you earnestly for your generous
hospitality and engaging company.”
In a practiced way, Jensen shook his hand and began to lead Master Joshua and
his breeders towards the entryway. Jared felt his heart rate pick up; the
evening was soon over!
Jensen’s answer back was light hearted and sounded genuine. When the front door
was finally opened—Jared handed the coats and shawls to the breeders, who took
care of them from there—Jared could almost picture the evening over. All he
wanted to do was check on Nicky, move her back to the swing, and slip in beside
her. Maybe she would want a slice of sweet cake. They could share that before
going to sleep. If only their company would leave. He was eager to shut the
door and grew more impatient as Master Joshua kept talking. It seemed to take a
year before the carriage was pulled to the front step and Master Joshua—mouth
and all—stepped into it.
The front door wasn’t completely shut before Jared raced through the house and
towards the porch.
Something had changed; he could feel it.
Before he could make it out the back door, he collided with the Judge, who
thankfully prevented the both of them from tipping over. However, he looked
nothing like his usual self. He was completely flustered.
“Jensen!” he shouted over Jared. “Jensen, where the hell are you?!” When Jensen
did not reply, the Judge looked at Jared, holding onto his shoulders. “Jared,
her water broke.”
The end of the night was nowhere near.
***** Quick *****
Chapter Summary
     Nicky gives birth to her litter; the company assists.
Chapter Notes
     PLEASE read the tags. Specific warnings for this chapter include:
     graphic birth, blood, references to miscarriage.
     Shorter chapter, sorry! I rewrote this chapter twice auuuugh.
     Comments, kudos, questions, etc. are all appreciated. Thank you! <3
A breeder’s body was designed to give birth, no matter what their genitalia.
The government taught every breeder that giving birth was the most honored
responsibility and privilege they had. The more successful litters a breeder
had, the more respected and desired they were. Along with their ability to
serve a household, their ability to breed was part of their identity and self-
worth. What kind of breeder didn’t breed? Jared didn’t want to know.
Nicky had a quota of seven pups per year according to her age. At eight pups,
even if… well, Jared understood that no matter what she had a good chance of
making and exceeding her quota with this litter. Two heats a year allowed
breeders two opportunities to make their quotas; two chances to bring honor and
respect to themselves and their households.
As with Jared, the first difficulty encountered was finding a position that was
comfortable for her and accessible for the Doctor. Many positions were not
possible due to her size and it seemed that no matter what position they tried,
her back still suffered. Very quickly, the older breeder’s usual composure
vanished as she was moved and propped up in various angles. She finally snapped
at Jensen and Master Jeff to leave her alone until they decided on what they
wanted. “I’m not an egg in a pan!” she had barked at them, scrunching her eyes
closed as a contraction hit. Rapidly, Jensen and Master Jeff removed themselves
from her and stepped back to discuss things.
Amused, Jared smiled at the Judge, who gave a tentative smile back. He was
bracing her right side while Jared was on her left. They were sitting on the
steps of the porch, waiting for the two Doctors to tell them what to do.
Sharply, Nicky cried out, trembling and arching her back, “Jared!” She reached
out for him, grabbed his robes and pulled him towards her. “Ow, ow, oh! Jared!
Please don’t leave me!”
“I’m right here,” he soothed, taking her hand off his robes and holding it in
his own. “I won’t leave.” For the most part, Jared did not speak; he let the
Judge do that. She seemed to respond well to him but did not let go of Jared
for any reason at all. Holding onto her, he dipped a towel in a bowl of cold
water and wiped away the sweat and tears on her face. She leaned into his touch
and groaned. Jared knew exactly how she felt.
When Jensen dared to make his way back near her, he knelt down between her legs
and moved her cock and balls aside. Jared saw that his hands were gentle as if
he were afraid he’d cause her more pain. Two quick presses of his hand against
her entrance and he frowned, shaking his head.
“She’s not dilated enough yet; all we can do is make her comfortable.”
“Comfortable?!” Nicky gasped. “How can I possibly be comfortable?!”
The younger breeder was quick to place himself over her. If he had thought
about it more, he would have known Jensen wouldn’t hit her for talking out, but
his instinct was too strong. A tone like that towards any Master was forbidden
but he would not see her hurt. Something sad reflected in Jensen’s eyes as he
looked at Jared.
“Relax,” he said quietly. “I’m not gonna hurt her.” He then spoke to Nicky
directly. “You can cuss me out all you want tonight sweetheart, free pass.”
Nicky was about to say something to retort but hissed in pain, bending over and
breathing hard. The Judge gently whispered to her that it was important she
steady her breathing, for her sake and the litter.
Master Jeff approached, also cautious, and suggested they move inside. Nicky
cried at the thought of moving again, though she relented. It took all three
Masters to lift and carry her into the kitchen, where there was the most amount
of open space near a source of water. Jared quickly set down towels and
pillows—having moved ahead of them—before they set her down on her right side.
Immediately, she cried for Jared, clutching a pillow and moaning as Jensen’s
hands touched her once more.
“I’m here,” Jared found himself repeating, kneeling down next to her, stroking
a few strands of hair away from her face. “You’re doing well.”
Tears welled up and ran down her face. “Jared, it hurts. It… uhn…” She was
unable to tell him more, having been struck by another more forceful
contraction. Jared wondered what it felt like to deliver with a room full of
people concerned about his well-being. This was the exact opposite of the
cellar, though he was incredibly grateful for Jensen and the Judge. What if
they hadn’t heard his screams through the thick wooden doors? Or what if they
had heard and simply… kept walking? His thoughts were prevented from turning
darker by a particularly piercing and raw scream from Nicky.
“Mother of… Jeff! Got a crown already. When the fuck did this happen?!”
“Just careful she’s fully dilated, don’t tear anything.”
“How’m I supposed to do that? Push it back in?! Fuck!”
“Stop talking about me like I’m not here!” Nicky shouted, then groaned and
bucked. “It’s moving, I can feel it, oh… oh… ahh!”
Fascinated, Jared watched Jensen work. The pup was out so fast and so easily,
it seemed to take Jensen a minute to compose himself. After a few light taps to
the pup’s flank and the wiping of its tiny mouth and nose, there was a cry. The
pup wiggled and squirmed and flailed in Jensen’s hands; it was a good size and
seemed very healthy. Though Jared had given birth to his own litter—and had
been trained in a basic way of what to expect—viewing an actual birth was
different. He could not stop comparing his to hers. This pup made noise, it
moved, it insisted to everyone that it was alive and strong.
Jared tore his gaze off of it.
He kept himself distant from it and the special basket it had been placed in.
Nicky continued to writhe and moan in pain, with the Judge rubbing her back,
keeping her leg pushed up so that Jensen could work. Jared began wiping away at
her face once more. They made eye contact and she started crying.
“Too fast, too fast,” she blurted out and he knew exactly what she meant.
Something so precious and frail was carried for months, entirely dependent on
them for life and care. They felt its first heart beats and movements. They
felt it wake up in the morning and settle in for naps throughout the day. Every
day these things happened and they were subtle treasures. But all of it ended
so quickly, so abruptly, so without warning. One moment their weight and
pressure was there and the next it was all gone, leaving them bereft and empty
and alone.
He placed a hand on her cheek and crouched to kiss her lightly. Soon as they
parted she gasped and began to follow Jensen’s commands to push. Jensen had her
foot propped up against his shoulder and ordered her to push against him, to
bear down with all the force she could. He held her steady as she did, silently
screaming, straining to obey. When she reached near her limit she cried out and
kicked Jensen in the jaw. Fortunately, he thought nothing of it, and reminded
her that there was still work to do.
One by one, pups were pushed out, cleaned up, and passed over to the basket.
Every pup was alive.
In a small pool of her sweat, blood, and tears, Nicky shrieked and thrashed and
begged for it all to stop. The last push she was capable of giving produced two
pups nearly at once. The last one was the smallest of the entire litter; it was
also number nine.
“Nine,” the Judge announced.
She only closed her eyes and buried her face in Jared’s robes, sobbing with the
little strength she possessed. These pups were all she had left of her
relationship with Master Eli and they were gone from her too soon. This time,
all the Masters knew better than to let her hold a pup, and even Jared
understood that it was for the best. Still, Jared found himself wishing for
just a fraction of a minute with any of his pups.
A few minutes later, Nicky was pulled away from Jared, mewling and hiccupping,
and taken to a nearby room by Master Jeff. Jensen picked up the basket with
care and headed towards the front door. The officials would be arriving soon,
to pick up and tag the pups and gain a store of milk from Nicky. Jared would go
to her in a moment, to be with her while that happened, but for now he found
himself unable to move. Towels stained with her blood were strewn before him.
The effort of her being was bright red yet fading.
 
The Judge and Jared remained fixed on the floor of the kitchen. When Jared
began to cry, the Judge embraced him, held him fixed against his chest. Through
his own tears and the pounding of his heart, Jared felt the Judge’s breath
hitch.
A quiver was felt deep in his belly, but the breeder could not find enthusiasm
for it.
***** Altered *****
Chapter Summary
     The aftereffects of Nicky's delivery extends beyond the breeders.
Chapter Notes
     PLEASE read the tags and proceed with caution. Specific warnings for
     this chapter include: references to suicide/self-harm, depression,
     isolation. THERE IS NO CHARACTER DEATH.
     I do apologize for the sad chapters. I guess I should reiterate that
     this fic will have a "happy" ending--as happy as can be defined by
     this verse. But we have a bit to go before we can reach that. Hang
     on, things will get better.
     I just feel like skipping over grief does a disservice to the
     characters and nullifies their emotions and experiences.
     Thanks for reading y'all. Another chapter shortly.
The government official that came in to take a store of milk was methodical but
careful. Their black gloves shone as they hooked Nicky up to a machine. Through
their black mask, they told Jared that her entrance would need a plug and that
they should expect another store of milk to drop in a week. Their voice was
neutral and cold, like any other part of them. Jared nodded and held Nicky’s
hands in his.
Milking was not painful; in fact, it was a physical relief. Pressure and weight
was lessened. Two large containers were wrung from her, efficiently sealed and
labeled.
“Thank you for your contributions,” the official stated before leaving.
The thank you went unanswered.
 
He slept with her that night and for the next three nights.
He took care of her as she had in a similar state. No one but Jared touched
her, though the Masters did visit and ask how she was doing every day. It took
a week for her to verbally respond.
A week of Jared bathing and feeding her and lying down with her, stroking her
cheek and kissing her everywhere she let him, and she was not the same. Into
the second week she shut the door on him and though he tried to protest, sat
outside the door for an hour mewling and pawing at it, the door did not open.
When Jensen tried to convince the younger breeder to sleep anywhere but the
floor, Jared did not listen.
Most breeders were able to produce litters and feel nothing.
In fact, a breeder who delivered a litter and mourned for it was strange;
feelings towards their litters was weakness.
But these Masters had changed them in ways Jared was only beginning to see.
So no, he did not want to leave or sleep anywhere else but near her.
Doll kept him company.
 
In the morning, when Jared heard no noise from the room, no signal that she was
awake, he panicked.
Knocking on the door yielded no response. Quickly, Jared scrambled up, his
chest heaving in alarm. On his dash to the Judge’s room, he fell and landed
hard on his front, crying out from pain in his leg. He cursed his own
uselessness and pushed past the throbbing in his leg, the needling sensations
in his hands. At the Judge’s door he knocked. No one had left for town yet.
When the door was opened and the Judge stood there, Jared was overwhelmed with
gratitude. The Judge helped him up and went with him, not having to ask what
was wrong.
Two knocks were tried. No response.
Jared couldn’t breathe.
He clutched at doll and stood back when the Judge motioned to give him room.
One, two, three kicks were given to the door before it was forced open. The
Judge shoved the broken door aside and immediately went into the room, shouting
her name. He came back to Jared a moment later.
“She’s not here.”
 
Racing through the household, searching for her, seemed to stretch an eternity.
When they found her on the swing, curled up in Jensen’s arms, it was the last
place they looked and the last place they expected to find her.
The only good thing was that when Jared looked into Jensen’s eyes, he saw
something changed there.
It was going both ways now; the breeders were changing the Masters in ways they
had not seen before either. In those green, tired eyes Jared saw grief, yet he
also saw something new. It didn’t have to be expressed by words for the young
breeder to understand.
She would not be left behind.
***** Interlude *****
Chapter Summary
     Nicky's perspective after her delivery and the arrival of a new
     member to the household.
Chapter Notes
     Something different. Specific warnings include: references to and
     mentions of suicide/suicidal ideations, violence, non-con, torture,
     miscarriage.
     I felt that this was important to put in.
     More coming shortly.
There was only one other time when Nicky felt this way.
Her first Master has been a cruel, deplorable Master. He had three breeders and
worked them all to the bone. Every night he demanded her service. At first, she
had thought herself lucky to have a Master who looked at or wanted her at all.
She had heard of several breeders who had it much worse.
But she could not imagine anything worse than her departure from that
household.
After her first miscarriage—she’d lost the pups after a beating—he deemed her
unworthy of his investment. Too irritated with her to take her to town, he
dragged her by the hair through the household. It was to shame her and it
worked. She had failed in the most fundamental way, even though she knew he had
something to do with it. What breeder did not breed? Dead ones.
The two other breeders in that household stared at her openly but did nothing.
She couldn’t say she would have done anything different at that point.
Beaten to the point where it was difficult to breathe, she was tied to a post
with a sign, at the edge of the road, close enough to be trampled if she didn’t
move. Though her reading was not advanced, she understood what “free breeder”
meant. The hands of faceless Masters in the dark reached out at her from their
curtained carriages. Three times she was used for service, pushed down in the
mud, held down at one point, a hand clamped firmly on her jaw to lessen her
struggle.
After two days of agony, she began to think.
Except she thought differently. She did not think of her survival. Instead, she
thought of the opposite. She would place her head under a carriage wheel and
wish for the best. The very next carriage to pull up on the road would be the
one to do it. It would look like an accident and perhaps her reputation could
be salvaged a fraction, though she knew no one would care.
The next carriage happened to be one belonging to a government official, who
stopped well before they reached her.
Unable to carry through her plan, she relented.
Those thoughts remained near.
 
When Eli had left she had wanted to try again.
What was the point, she kept thinking to herself, of remaining alive?
The young breeder she had been taking care of had a new Master, and while she
doubted his sincerity and his character, she did not doubt Jared’s ability to
survive. Jared would eventually be fine. She told herself that repeatedly.
There would come a day when Jared would no longer need her and his Masters
certainly didn’t need her at all. She did not carry a litter that belonged to
any of them and at that point she did not care to.
It hurt her more than she wanted to admit, that Jared would one day see how
needy she was of him.
The other breeders they had housed before had all been good company. It suited
her, Eli said, to take them in and comfort them for their time at the
household. Cody had praised her friendly nature.
The thought of her beautiful first breeder and Charlie caused her heartache.
If she went through with it—once and for all—perhaps Jared could get his
Masters to bury her next to Cody and Charlie, in the precious clearing that was
always washed in the right amount of sunlight.
When Jared left her alone in the attic, she thought she could do it.
But she could not.
She was carrying Eli’s litter and however she felt about her life and what it
meant in general, she couldn’t take away life that had been created by him. He
hadn’t asked her to keep them safe; he hadn’t mentioned her belly at all in
those moments before he left. It seemed to hurt him to look at her middle, as
if he knew what he was leaving her with, as she was sure he did. She started to
think that perhaps he had bred her with this in mind; he must have known he
would be leaving to a place he could not take her. But this way, full of pups,
she would live to carry them to term. How well he knew her.
Another series of thoughts prevented her hand.
Fondly, she thought of the terrified, abused breeder that had landed on their
front step. How he had been so hesitant to allow her to touch him, to comfort
him, to offer some shelter. And how soon enough he was trying to return her
comfort, trying to take her pain and make it his own. How they would do as she
had never done with anyone before—lie in bed for hours, talking and purring and
kissing and touching and sighing. The trade of a dimpled smile for one of her
own, those curious hazel eyes able to wring anything from her.
The fact that if her new Master asked him to lie down and stay still for his
boot he would do it…
She was not done taking care of him, her pup or not.
 
Of course, she was not the only one intent on protecting the younger breeder.
And sometimes, she intentionally provoked the Doctor.
Most days she simply tried to avoid him.
Oh, she was cheerful enough, for Jared’s sake, especially at the new household.
Yet she had very little interaction with the Doctor. She had more time with
Misha and preferred to keep it that way. Sometimes Master Jeff would sit with
her and debate about concepts such as fate and destiny, which always amused her
because he thought of her as capable of forming arguments. When she grew too
big to move, he would read to her from his strange books and explain, in his
own way, the matter of souls. Did breeders have souls, he had asked her,
pushing the lounge gently.
There was no answer she could give him; she didn’t know what she knew.
What could a breeder do with a soul?
 
Although the Masters had assured the breeders that they would not be split up
after she gave birth, she worried still. After her duty was done—nine healthy
pups worth of duty—she was overwhelmed, completely taken under and held in a
merciless darkness.
There was no use for her now.
They would leave and take Jared with them. Maybe they would set her up in a
nice household of sorts, nice enough anyway, but that still meant they would
drop her off and turn away. No matter how much time she would be given there
would always be a time to leave.
She couldn’t bear to see Jared before doing it.
It was only her now, no pups, so she could do it. She knew she could.
As quietly as possible, in that hour before dawn, she crept out of her room and
out to the porch. She would have one more moment in the swing and then… oh, and
then… and then…
Her mind busily planning, she hadn’t noticed the Doctor there.
When she saw him, she gasped. He looked at her and his expression grew softer,
though his voice was rough.
He said, “You gonna do that to him?”
She refused to answer him. She didn’t have to swing.
An age seemed to pass between them, silence draped over them. She had dressed
herself in a light robe and left her hair down. A breeze passed by, brushing
through her hair.
“I can’t imagine,” the Doctor nearly whispered, sitting on the swing, “what
it’s like. To go through what you go through and still find the strength to do
it all over again.”
This Master was a stranger to her. She saw how he lived and what he did and he
had delivered her pups. His hands had been gentle and he had handled her pups
with care. That was so wrong to her, so unmistakably wrong and out of place for
any Master to do such a thing. She wanted to scream at him and tell him that
breeders did not find strength; breeders were strong to begin with, from the
very start.
She wanted to blame him for every awful thing any Master had done to any
breeder anywhere.
What stopped her was doll.
And yet, it wasn’t doll. It was a doll that looked very similar to her, with
brown hair instead of black. He was holding her, cradled near his chest, the
same way she and Jared did.
When she had given her to Jared, she’d been so tattered and worn. She had no
idea if she was talking about the doll or herself anymore. She felt like a pup
all over again, crying because she felt ragged and threadbare, because she
feared that someone may look at her and discover the ever-present grief inside
her. When there was nothing left of her to give, what would she do?
Stumbling forward, he caught her.
“I thought,” he whispered into her hair, “you could use one.”
He placed new doll into her shaking hands. She was dressed in a tiny, pink gown
with four gold buttons.
Falling into the swing, she cried as she had not let herself with Jared,
wailing and pounding her frustration into his chest, which he did not mind at
all. Let loose and wild, he managed to hold onto her steadily.
Nothing was promised but a few things were understood.
 
Lying against his chest, his firm heartbeat underneath her, she prayed she
would never feel that way again.
Tenderly, she kissed the top of doll’s head.
She was not naïve and she was not blind to the mysteries these Masters still
held above them.
But this? She could allow herself this.
***** Rough *****
Chapter Summary
     Jared and Jensen start their day off.
Chapter Notes
     Specific warnings for this chapter include sex and schmoop. Even more
     specific warnings include: self-lubrication, multiple orgasms,
     pregnancy kink.
     Ahh! I was so stuck on how to continue after the Interlude that I
     totally neglected this fic for a while. I have three rewrites and
     about 6k of text I totally scrapped. /facepalm/ But alas! I feel like
     this went the right way.
     Comments, kudos, etc. appreciated! Thank you for reading!
     (Also, the last line of this chapter is taken from a Mia Mingus
     quote. Soooo much credit to her. One of my favorite things to say/
     hear. Here's the original quote: "I don’t know how you have survived,
     but I am grateful you are here." She's amazing, check her out!)
The rest of the day was declared a day off.
This had to be explained to Jared.
“Stop cleaning,” Jensen murmured, pulling at the young breeder’s robes.
“But…”
“Day off means no work, for me or you,” the Master insisted. “I’ve been up all
night and I wanna sleep and you are gonna join me.”
Chores abandoned, Jared was chased up the stairs. Nicky and the Judge were
outside on the porch—an arm around her—and Master Jeff left for his outdoor
activities. And apparently, sleep meant anything but. Pressed into the mattress
of what had was their bed, Jared was kissed and kissed often.
He began to purr when he felt Jensen press his mouth against Jared’s neck and
take a deep breath.
“You smell so good,” was drawled out as hands impatiently tugged at fabric.
“Can we?”
Before Jared could answer, a possessive bite was given. Sensitive skin was
nipped and sucked and licked over with a rough, wet tongue. He could only moan
and shudder, clawing lightly at Jensen’s broad back. “Yes,” the young breeder
managed to purr out. “Yes, please.” After that, there was very little talking.
Something seemed to fuel his Master’s need to the point of desperation, one
which did not calm until he was pushing and sliding in between Jared’s legs.
Mewling and breath hitching, Jared hung onto Jensen’s shoulders, bracing
himself, moaning when a fast, hard pace began. He felt something at one
particular angle that made his thighs tremble and slick push out. Keen on this,
thrusts were adapted and Jensen began twisting his hips in circles.
It surprised the breeder when he was flipped over, onto his knees.
“Sorry, sorry,” Jensen panted, stroking himself as he changed their positions.
“I…”
Having trouble articulating what he wanted, Jared helped him. He spread out his
legs, pushed his hips up, and held onto the board of the bed. Open and
presenting himself for the taking, he whispered lowly, “Don’t be gentle.”
Of course, what Jensen considered rough, Jared still thought of as kind. As
hard as their hips met, the breeder still found pleasure, and was encouraged to
voice it. He keened his pleasure loudly as he held onto the board. Slick was
running down his thighs. And when Jensen slid his hands from Jared’s hips to
his belly, holding onto it as he pushed in, Jared lost it.
“Coming!” Jared gasped, eyes fluttering. He groaned and felt everything at
once—the clench of his entrance, the jerk of his cock, the squelch of more
slick as he began releasing all over his stomach, Jensen’s hands, and the bed.
By the time Jensen came—and Jared had two more equally profound climaxes—they
were both ragged messes of their former selves.
Collapsed onto their bed, Jensen held his mouth near Jared’s, not kissing but
just…there.
It was an intimacy the young breeder could not remember experiencing.
Before they drifted off, to really sleep this time, Jensen murmured something
Jared tucked away into his chest for safekeeping.
“I don’t know how you survived. But I’m glad you’re here.” 
***** Letters *****
Chapter Summary
     The household receives two letters and must cope with each.
Chapter Notes
     No specific warnings for this chapter. Just a few flashbacks/
     references to past abuse.
     We are approaching a really sad part of the end. Brace yourselves.
     It's the last part of angst I'll put y'all through before the end.
     ...I think.
     Comments and kudos are appreciated and loved. Thank you for reading.
     (small edit to clarify that Jensen has not had a breeder before
     Jared.)
A breeder’s life was filled with constant uncertainty.
Even the most loyal, dedicated, well-trained breeder did not have complete
control over everything. As much as they could try to ensure nothing went wrong
within their household or in general, no aspect of their lives was without some
risk. A garden full of blooming flowers was still susceptible to decay, to
thorns, to damage. And sometimes, as breeders were taught, thorns were
necessary.
Two letters arrived two weeks after Master Joshua’s visit.
Each was delivered by private messenger and each taunted Jared as they lay on a
silver tray on the entryway table. The younger breeder did not dare open the
envelope without his Master’s explicit permission, yet his fingers itched with
intense curiosity. Had he no chores or other duties to see to, he would have
stayed all day staring at the letters, trying to decipher them by willpower
alone. The contents of one letter could change a breeder’s life forever, in
irreparable ways. And no matter how much Nicky tried to calm him, he couldn’t
help but feel dread pile on his chest. He studied them as much as possible,
delaying the start of his own day to acquire some scraps of information. Both
letters were printed on heavy, expensive paper. One was obviously written and
stamped by a breeder—a breeder with a fine, elegant hand, Jared noticed. The
wax was gold, with a seal Jared couldn’t make out. The other, though also of
heavy, high quality paper, only had Jensen’s full name and title stamped on it.
Jared read it aloud to himself a few times:
                   Honorable Doctor Jensen R. Ackles of Lee
The entire title sounded respectful but it did not completely ease Jared’s
anxiety. The stamping made the letter seem colder and more formal. It was
probably something to do with his business in town, but then why have it mailed
here?
“Get away from those and come help me with the beds,” Nicky snapped at him,
hands on her hips. “You’ll make yourself sick.”
Ashamed that as a first breeder he had to be told to stop dallying and worrying
about things that really weren’t any of his business, he followed after her.
Although she kissed him and assured him that they looked like plain, ordinary
mail to her, he did not breathe any easier.
 
It was Master Jeff who helped distract the younger breeder long enough
throughout the day that he did not spend his time worrying. After their
exercises on the porch—which Nicky had joined in on, her body still recovering
from her litter—Master Jeff proposed a game.
He sat Jared up and leaned in to whisper the rules.
Wide-eyed, with an intense focus, Jared listened, biting his bottom lip
slightly in concentration.
“Don’t get caught!” Master Jeff declared, standing up swiftly. “If I catch you,
you have to brush the hair on my back!”
“That’s disgusting,” Nicky snipped playfully. “Go, Jared! You’re playing a game
of chase!”
The younger breeder hesitated as he stood up. “But… if you need me to brush…”
“Go!” both Nicky and Master Jeff laughed, shooing Jared away. At last, he
turned and began a chase through the household. Every hallway and staircase and
room was familiar to him now that they had fully settled in. He knew that the
bottom stair on the breeder stairs squeaked in a particular spot; he knew that
the second library was smaller but received more sunlight; he knew to be
careful at the top of the main staircase because it was always a little slick
with his slippers. Laughing and skidding through hallways and up the stairs,
Jared narrowly escaped the Master’s grasp. A few times Master Jeff came close,
but Jared twisted and maneuvered out of the way. He was surprised at his
graceful movements and glad that he had not yet once fallen. He happily
continued the chase until he heard Master Jeff’s tone change.
“Stop,” Master Jeff barked, which was unlike him. Immediately, Jared froze,
panting from the exercise. Even though his belly was larger at almost fourteen
weeks, he still enjoyed being able to move freely throughout the household and
the grounds. This was not a litter, so he didn’t expect to be very big, though
sometimes he did wonder why he felt so small. He supposed it was all part of
being a first breeder instead of a second.
“Master?” Jared called out, walking through the hallway, his slippers not
making a sound. Anxiety began to build in his chest. Was something wrong? Had
he done something wrong? Had he messed up the game already? Perhaps there were
rules he had not realized…
Jared screamed when he was grabbed from behind and lifted up. However, unlike
so many other times, Jared started laughing.
“You scared me!” he shouted, tossed over Master Jeff’s shoulder.
“Well, serves you right!” Master Jeff replied, laughing as well. He pat Jared’s
behind once. “Thought you could outsmart me, eh?”
Jared felt his face scrunch up in happiness. “I did! You play dirty, Master.”
Master Jeff set Jared down carefully, but not before giving him one swing
around, which had the younger breeder squealing in delight. When they paused
for breath, Jared looked up at Master Jeff. He felt an ease and closeness with
this Master even though this Master was not his and had never asked for
service.
“Do you really have hair on your back?” Jared inquired in a whisper.
“No, I don’t Jared,” Master Jeff replied with a smile. “Though that would be
funny. I’d make Nicky brush it and braid it…”
“I can hear the both of you!” the older breeder called out from the entryway.
“Shame on you both, running through this place. Nothing better be broken, Jeff.
You move like an ox.”
Conspiringly, Master Jeff leaned over towards Jared’s ear to whisper, “You
think I should chase her, too?”
Clear and without hesitation, Jared laughed and shook his head. Master Jeff
sighed and playfully frowned, agreeing and saying, “Yeah, I don’t wanna die
either. C’mon, let’s take a walk. You’d like that, right? Maybe we can go a bit
further this time. We got to the edge of a nice piece of land last time.”
A quick lunch for their party was put together and the three of them headed out
to explore the property.
Distracted and happy, Jared ignored the letters for now.
 
“Well, Master Johsua wants to have us over for dinner,” Jensen announced at
dinner, the invitation in his hands. “He humbly requests that my entire
household come over for an evening. You think this is a good thing? I mean,
he’s inviting us over, not asking me to invite him over again. That’s gotta be
a good sign.”
Sitting at the table, the breeders looked at each other.
“It’s not bad,” the Judge replied, helping himself to a second portion of stew,
which pleased Jared. “Perhaps he will prove to be a valuable connection. In any
case, we can’t decline. Unless you have some business that might take you away
from here for a few days?”
Jensen snorted and tossed the invitation aside. Jared peeked at it. “No,
unfortunately I don’t. Besides, either I go away for a few days or I stay here
and suck it up. Whatever. It’s just a dinner, right? We go over there, make
ourselves at home, and that’s it. We can all handle that.”
The Judge took a firmer tone in his response. “Don’t underestimate this, Jen.
Why he wants our company again we don’t know, but we will all be under even
more scrutiny in his own environment.”
“Excuse me,” Nicky said, “but can I please see the envelope?” It was slid over
to her without a problem. She examined the inside and pulled out a pressed
flower, light in color and thinner than the paper the invitation had been
printed on. The Masters all visibly bristled, upset that something had been
there and gone unnoticed. Jared flinched at the sight of the flower.
“What? What is it?” Jensen demanded, looking at both breeders. “What’s that
mean?”
The older breeder held up the flower and looked at it through the light. “I
myself am not sure. Cody never received one of these. Jared, you seem to
recognize this.”
Fidgeting in his seat, flinching when Jensen’s hand drew near, Jared stood up.
“Excuse me,” was all he managed to blur out before running to the kitchen and
throwing up into the sink. He heard the scrape of chairs and the heavy thud of
boots on the tile. He hadn’t thrown up in a while, Jared thought as he felt the
burn in the back of his throat. All of his dinner came up and he closed his
eyes, retching and coughing as someone pat his back.
“Easy, easy,” Master Jeff cooed. “Alright, let’s get you to bed.”
“What about the…” Jensen insisted but Master Jeff cut him off.
“Not now. It’s obviously a trigger. He’ll talk about it when he can. Nicky, a
pot of tea please.” Jared tried to protest, tried to insist that he was not
that weak, but Master Jeff would hear none of it. With care, Jared was hefted
up and carried to the room the breeders shared. Jensen looked on with worry as
Master Jeff settled him in. The young breeder was given a cup of water and
extra quilts, tucked in with careful attention to his every need. “Nicky will
bring you some tea and you’ll go to sleep,” Master Jeff said, firmly. “You need
to rest. We had a long day.”
Annoyed, Jensen grunted. “Long day? What did you do?”
Equally vexed, Master Jeff grumbled the answer. “We went for a walk, if that
pleases you Captain.”
“Perhaps you should take your conversation out of here,” Nicky snipped, walking
in with a tray. She looked at Jared and gave him a small smile. “We’ll be fine,
thank you.”
Both Masters sighed and stepped out, closing the door behind them. Jared
watched as Nicky prepared the room for the night. When she saw that Master Jeff
had taken care of Jared in a manner which was acceptable to her, she began
undressing. Her form was quickly returning, though she carried some extra
weight still. He thought she still looked lovely.
“Brush my hair?” she asked, holding out a brush.
He brushed and she counted to one hundred. With the repetition and familiarity
of it, Jared began to purr. Tea was given to him, which he drank all of, and he
felt his stomach settle. However, he did not feel completely at ease until she
slipped into the bed next to him, her body pressed against his.
After a few moments of hearing her heartbeat and breathing, he spoke up.
“Nathaniel received one,” he whispered against her chest. Her arms were around
him, secure as she always held him. “He said… that some first breeders were
jealous and that seconds should know their place. So… so… he whipped me. I was
in the garden. I wasn’t… I was doing my chores!” The force with which he said
that last part surprised him. He could feel the sting of the whip still, though
his wounds had long since healed over. “He said it was a warning but I… that’s
all I know. He just… he was not happy.”
She kissed him, firmly and deeply, pushing his mouth open, insisting on the
contact.
“What a horrible breeder,” she spat out after their kiss. “He deserves to be in
a food stall.”
Afraid to cast any negativity on his former first breeder, Jared remained
silent, though he returned her kiss. For a while, they indulged each other as
they had not done in some time. She had begun sleeping in the Judge’s bed,
though she had confided to him that it was for company and not for service.
“There wasn’t any writing on the petals,” was whispered to him as she stroked
his hair. “I’ll tell our Masters what you’ve said and we will hope for the
best.”
For the first time in many nights, she sang him to sleep.
He could not imagine a life without her near.
 
The next night, Jared spent it in Jensen’s company. They played a few games of
chess after dinner, then retired to his study. Jared sat in Jensen’s lap as he
finished writing letters. One was a reply to accept the invitation for dinner.
The other was to respond to the second letter, which Jared had entirely
forgotten about until that moment.
“Some district official,” Jensen muttered, “sent me a gentle reminder that I am
free to select a second breeder at any time and that my position as Doctor
would guarantee me a fine selection. Jerk.”
Although Jared himself had been a second breeder, he couldn’t help but feel a
pang of jealousy at the thought of another breeder having the attentions of his
Master. He shamed himself for being so petty. It was best to remain silent and
keep his emotions to himself.
With a sigh, Jensen kissed Jared’s cheek. “You know, I can feel what you’re
thinking. You don’t have to hide it. You don’t have anything to worry about,
okay? I came here looking for you. No one else. I've never had another breeder
and I never will. Misha told me it’s customary to send out these letters to new
residents. There’s no one breathing down my neck about that. For right now,
this household has filled its quota.”
It hurt Jared to think of Nicky’s pups.
But what Jensen said was true.
Strong arms were wrapped around the breeder. “If any letter comes for me again,
you can open it without me there. I give you permission.”
This was a sign of trust; an honor given to valued first breeders. But the
honor felt a little hollow to Jared. He had so many questions and fears and
worry chewed at him constantly. It was more and more difficult to shut off his
mind or push away his doubt.
“Thank you Jensen,” he replied and kissed his Master, who seemed pleased with
the reaction.
The dinner was three days away.
Time moved slow.
***** Shadows *****
Chapter Summary
     Jared thinks he is having a nightmare.
Chapter Notes
     Specific warnings for this chapter include: implied nightmares,
     horror/suspense elements, shadow people, time travel.
     Eek! I frightened myself while writing this. Shadow people are a
     terribly interesting concept to me. There are a lot of theories about
     them. To get an idea of how they move/look like, you can check out
     this video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C5mxrOgKMBk. It's creepy
     so don't watch if you're not into those sorts of things.
     I'm excited about this chapter and the next, though I have to state
     again: brace yourselves.
     Comments, kudos, etc. appreciated. Thank you for reading.
Late that night, after service, sweaty and sticky and sated, Jensen was falling
asleep to the sound of Jared’s purr. Usually, the breeder fell asleep with his
Master, despite whatever state of cleanliness they might end up in. This night,
however, Jared had a great deal of difficulty clearing his mind.
At one point, he thought he fell asleep. The entire household was quiet and
calm, with the sound of Jensen snoring the only sound near him. Shifting in
their bed, the young breeder felt himself inhale and exhale. He felt that first
fog before completely resting. About to close his eyes, he saw something move.
At first he thought perhaps Jensen had turned over but that was not the case;
his Master lay on his stomach, head on Jared’s chest, unmoved. Eyes wide open,
the breeder carefully looked around their room, which was not so large that he
couldn’t see the entirety of it in one sweep.
Nothing.
Giving credit to his fatigue and anxiety, he settled in once more, determined
for it to be tomorrow. He concentrated on small details: the deep, satisfying
soreness between his legs; the marks left on his neck, thighs, and chest; the
smell of their come and sweat mixed together on fresh bed sheets.
Nodding off once more and he saw something definitely move. It was fast. It was
warped and twisted and capable of changing shape. For sure he saw it and its
companions because Jared was certain there were more. Many, many more.
They were shadows in the shapes of people; Masters or breeders he could not
determine but they were not animals. They had hands and heads and moved in the
same manner. Skittering across the walls, jumping and snaking across surfaces,
they raced about the room.
When a hand made its way onto their bed and reached out for Jared’s soft belly,
he screamed.
 
“He was having a nightmare,” Jensen explained to Nicky as she held the younger
breeder. “There’s nothing in the room. Nothing at all.”
Jared trembled, unwilling to withdraw his arms from his belly.
The hand had had fingers, all of which had moved in different, unnatural
directions, guided by something to touch the breeder’s belly specifically,
because it had not made any move for Jensen.
“He’s hyperventilating,” Nicky snapped at Jensen. “He wouldn’t do that over
nothing! Jared! You need to calm down.” She lowered her voice and whispered
into his ear, “You need to calm down, think of the baby.” Her eyes narrowed as
she looked at the three Masters in the room, the Judge and Master Jeff having
raced to the room at the sound of Jared’s screaming. “You all know something.”
The look the three Masters shared was the same look Jared and Nicky shared when
they could not verbally communicate.
About to demand answers, Master Jeff stepped forward before Nicky spoke again.
“It’s a common nightmare where we’re from,” he said. “Children get them from
time to time.”
Untrusting, Nicky looked at the Judge. “Misha. Tell me what he saw.”
The Judge looked confused, hurt, and reluctant to answer. He sighed and shook
his head. Meeting her gaze, he murmured, “It was a nightmare.”
“See now, there’s nothing to be afraid of,” Jensen whispered to Jared, kneeling
down at the bedside. “I checked the entire room twice. We can even sleep with a
lamp on.” Jensen extended a hand to touch the breeder’s shoulder and received a
flinch. Jared tightened his hold over his belly.
A quilt was draped over Jared’s shoulders. “He can sleep with me for the rest
of the night,” Nicky announced defiantly. “You may keep your secrets. Jared,
let’s go.”
“How is sleeping with you going to make anything better?” Jensen barked,
stepping towards her.
“Because he never had anything like that happen in ourbed!” she snapped. “Why
are you doing this?! Why not just tell us? We’re loyal breeders, we’ve kept
your secrets, your oddities, your peculiar behaviors to ourselves. Not a single
word to anyone!”
Jared stood up.
“I want to sleep alone,” he said softly. “Please.”
 
An hour later, in his own room, Jared sat and waited.
He waited for so long he thought dawn might be near.
Exhausted, he began to shut his eyes. Perhaps it had been a nightmare and he
had simply overreacted; he should have proceeded to handle things with more
discretion.
From his right, from the floor and up towards the window, one appeared again.
It seemed to look out at him and realize that he was staring back. It rushed
forward and disappeared into a crack in the floor. From that same spot, three
more appeared and dashed across the walls, around the room. They moved so fast,
so abnormal in their movements. What the breeder found worse was that they all
seemed to be staring directly at him. They would pause and then change their
angles, as if trying to get a better look at him. Over and over again they
strained to peer out at him, lumping together and pushing against each other
for a better view. They had no eyes but the intensity of their gaping was
relentless. Frantic now, they shifted again and stared from a different angle.
As if he was something new and peculiar to them.
 This time one hand became five.
And this time, Jared was slow to react, worn down by fatigue. The long,
twisting fingers touched his belly, went over and examined it, crawling the
entire time.
Screeching and batting at them, Jared could not take it anymore. He was not
dreaming. This was not a nightmare. When his door opened and Jensen stormed in,
the shadows disappeared, retreating back into the walls and floors. Somehow,
the breeder found the air in his lungs to shout at Jensen, to demand an answer.
He wanted a reply and he wanted one now.
“Please!” Jared cried out, tears falling from frustration. “I have asked
nothing but… but this please!”
“They’re time travelers, Jared,” Jensen replied with a broken tone, hands limp
at his sides and shoulders slumped. “That’s… that’s all I can say.”
The breeder didn’t entirely know what that meant but he supposed he didn’t have
to. All he wanted was his belly left alone.
“They’ll stop,” his Master spoke, moving forward. “Just… just come sleep with
me tonight, please?”
There were only two hours left before dawn and the start of a new day. They
would then be two days away from the dinner at Master Joshua’s household.
However exhausted Jared was, he noticed another shadow. But this one was
Jensen’s. His Master’s shadow flickered for the tiniest of moments, as if it
were a flame being swayed by wind.
It was then that Jared did as he had never done before.
“No.”
***** Story *****
Chapter Summary
     A story about a good boy and the Captain he saved.
Chapter Notes
     My warning here would be omg feels.
     We are nearing the end folks. And the end will not be without one
     more trying event. You still need to brace yourselves but remember
     that this does have a good ending.
     The songs in this chapter are, in order:
     -Downtown Babylon by Paul Thorn
     -Things Left Undone by Paul Thorn
     -Mood Ring by Paul Thorn
     -Madly in Love with You by Sean McConnell
     Listen to 'em if you have a chance.
     Please notice Jensen's accent come out in this story. That's
     important.
     I really hope I captured the essence of J2 here. I remember some
     folks saying in the beginning chapters that this didn't seem like a
     J2 fic. So hopefully I pulled it off (uh, 50 chapters later). I know
     we have a lot more questions but this is a big chunk of what's been
     going on. Movin' forward!
     Thank you for reading. <3
This was the story told to Jared, a young breeder in a sizeable household in
the rural part of Lee.
A breeder whose dearest wish for his entire life was to serve his Master best;
to be so good and so dearly beloved that he would not be forgotten when he
died.
This was the story told to him as he sat perched on a countertop in the
household’s kitchen, with the Doctor’s familiar hands on his hips, lips pressed
near his neck as he spoke.
This is what Jensen shared.
 
Standing on the corner it’s easy to see, forbidden fruit is on every tree. Oh
you can get an apple from a snake on a limb, here in downtown Babylon. A long,
long way from home. I thought it was the Promised Land but something’s wrong,
here in downtown Babylon. I wonder now if I was born to run, I’m starting to
feel like a prodigal son. A long, long way from home, I thought it was the
Promised Land but something’s wrong, here in downtown Babylon…
That’s the song that played when a righteous boy saw a sinning boy.
In a crowded, cheap Southern-style bar on an outpost twenty miles out of his
way.
Somebody you cared for broke your heart. You let foolish pride, Lord, keep you
apart. Why didn’t you learn how to forgive someone? So many years passed with
the things left undone…
That’s the song that played when that good boy asked the gutter boy to dance.
He was cheesy and goofy and introduced himself all wrong—he was trying too
hard, anyone could see that. The sinning boy was there to drink and drink
himself under. If he could just hide in that outpost forever. He’d spent all
night at the same stool, under flickering artificial light, nursing beer after
beer after shot after bottle. Slumped over, trashed, red-eyed and about to cry
that good boy hustled over. Like I said, that boy tried too hard. He gave
himself away too easy; didn’t bother to hide that smile. Leaned over and put
his hand on the sinner’s shoulder and pulled him back to say:
“I wanna dance with you.”
I know nothing about this woman, everything I do is wrong. I found a pretty
little mood ring at the local five and dime. It’s gonna solve my problems, for
a dollar ninety-nine. I memorized the color charts cause I wanted to be sure. I
told her, Baby it’s the thought that counts, when I slipped it on her hand. If
it turns black, I should turn back. If it turns red, she liked what I said. If
it turns blue, I should leave her alone. If it turns green, she wants me I
know. She wants me I know…
That’s the song that played from the smoke filled stage a million miles away
from where they swayed on the dance floor. It wasn’t pretty. It wasn’t elegant.
The sinner didn’t have a scrap of dignity left. He stumbled and grunted and
shoved the good boy away. He said some things that were just like his sinning
self to say. The song ended and the good boy let the sinner recklessly walk
away.
But you know that good boy didn’t know what was good for him.
He waited a few minutes and joined that sinner outside, in the dark alleyway,
amongst the vomit and used up condoms. He waited until the other man was done
puking against the nearest dumpster. And what did he do, this good boy? He
handed the sinner a bottle of water and then he left.
‘Course it had his phone number on it.
 
The sinner called. Just to see what it was like. Before he could realize it,
his entire life changed. Some people say bullshit but that was the real deal
for the sinner. He climbed and clawed his way up from the ocean of guilt and
pain he’d resigned himself to because at the surface was that good boy who gave
himself away too easy. That good boy who pushed and worked his way into the
sinner’s life pretty much overnight. Stationed at that outpost, the two shared
a dirty, meager motel room with more stains on the floors and beds than on the
walls. Sometimes it hurt the sinner to see the good boy surrounded by filth.
“I don’t mind,” was all the good boy would ever say when it was brought up, and
that was the truth.
Unwrapping the cold part of himself he had once called a heart, that sinner
started to think. He thought all day while he worked odd jobs and scraped on by
to stash crinkled up bills in his boots. He thought all night while he pressed
that good boy against any surface that could hold them. He thought even in his
sleep, dreaming of some place he didn’t understand but knew he wanted. And one
day, when the good boy said, “Me too, I want that too,” the sinner had enough
of thinking; it wasn’t enough anymore. He had to have it all. So he told the
good boy what he could do—what they could do, come hell or high water. The good
boy was younger and didn’t have much training but he said, “Yeah, let’s do it.”
With the help of the few friends the sinner had left, they found two spots on a
ship. It took a spell for them to move up but eventually—man, it seemed like
forever—the sinner was Captain and the good boy was Chief Engineer. Because
even though the good boy pretended he didn’t know his ass from his elbow, he
was smart. Smarter than the Captain, though the Captain didn’t fess up to it
often, and he still won’t. The good boy liked to play chess and finish puzzles
for fun; the sinner was happy with a beer and a… a movie. That’s all he needed.
That was it.
It was never easy. Never as easy as some people thought it was. The Captain
could never forget the sinner inside him and the good boy sometimes… sometimes
he pressed too hard.
And sometimes the Captain got scared that the good boy deserved someone else
just as good. Someone he hadn’t met shitfaced drunk in a bar somewhere like in
a shitty Journey song the good boy liked to sing to.
Sometimes the good boy reminded the Captain that not everyone had to leave but
everyone needed room to breathe.
The ship and its crew flew for two years with the Captain at the helm.
Two years saw arguments and fist fights and painful misunderstandings. Two
years saw the good boy’s older brother come onto the ship and try to convince
him to leave the sinner. The good boy had a big family who cared about him a
lot; called him every other day. They wanted the best for him. And though the
Captain and the good boy weren’t poor, they weren’t rich neither.
But the Captain—desperate to fix things, as always—took the good boy to the
surface of a planet they were stationed at. He had saved for months, stashing
bills in his boots like he’d done before, and got them a guide. The guide took
them to the most beautiful spot on the planet. To some, he thought, maybe it
ain’t much; just a bunch of rocks an’ shit. But they climbed and climbed and
climbed until they reached the rim of the canyon. When the good boy saw the
view—the sunrise, the river below, the sky above—and was struck speechless, the
Captain knew it.
He loved that boy.
Messy, covered in red dust, the good boy pulled the Captain in for a kiss and
didn’t once let go.
The Captain could tell anyone a dozen of these moments and a million more
understated ones. The way the boy looked when he woke up in the morning. The
way he insisted on making pancakes. The way he read out loud to the Captain at
night, safe in their bunk. The way he looked at the Captain at any point, even
when they were fighting. The million and one little touches between them. How
if anyone, anyone at all, sat them down for dinner, the good boy would move
their chairs a little closer together.
Good boy sang sometimes.
But the Captain sang more.
Every year, to mark their meeting, they split a bottle of whiskey and got
drunk, wherever they were stationed at. No matter how trashed the Captain was,
he’d take out his guitar and play a new song.
The Captain was proud of the good boy, who could hold his own against anything.
He was proud to call the good boy his, felt like he earned those smiles, those
looks from across a room. When the option to study time travel came to their
attention, the good boy wanted to do it. He begged the Captain every morning
and every night until finally, the Captain said, “Fine. But I’m going too.”
During their first run, with a small team, it was discovered that their forms
in other worlds took on the appearance of shadows. They had to be careful not
to be spotted. The good boy loved it. Just as he loved seeing every new city in
their solar system, he loved witnessing entirely new worlds. He took a special
thrill in studying the lives of beings and creatures he had never before seen.
In only a few minutes he could put together a rough map of wherever they
visited. He never ran out of ideas or things to say about their trips.
When their team was disbanded to continue research, the Captain was relieved.
Time travel was new to them still, and could only be done with special licenses
and approval. Altering anything in a new world was illegal; bringing anyone
back…
Sometime later, the good boy asked the Captain to marry him, to be with him
forever.
The Captain said yes.
He said yes because it was right and because he felt it in every part of his
being. Loving the good boy was as natural to him as breathing. The way the good
boy said his name or looked at him… the Captain had never been an open man.
He’d never been an outgoing man. He had been reserved and distant—professional
was what he had called it. He had said he believed in all these things—life,
faith, family—but it was the good boy who showed him what they really were and
what it meant to appreciate every single day, even if it was ordinary.
Years they were together.
Whenever the Captain had a rough time—when he felt like a sinner all over
again—the good boy would pull out the guitar and play for him. Especially that
one song about… the one about a prayer. The Captain had created it but the good
boy was the one who pulled it out, dusted it off and made it his own.
Songs between them were special. Wasn’t nothin’ better to them than a guitar
and a moment alone together.
It was in all the little things.
The Captain would never take his eyes off the good boy. The good boy would
search for the Captain in any crowded room. Sitting together on deck they were
always, at some point touching, in the most basic ways. Their knees would knock
together, their hands might meet.
Anyone who knew the Captain before would see the change in his entire being. He
threw his head back and laughed with his whole body now because that’s what the
good boy did. If the Captain smiled wider and easier it was because the good
boy taught him. And if the good boy smiled a little coyer, learned how to
express a million words in one look, it was because the Captain taught him.
If the Captain learned how to loosen up and make a fool of himself just to see
the good boy laugh, then it was worth it. If the good boy grew up and learned
how to carry himself and command the respect of his peers, it was equally worth
it.
There was no space between them when they got married, when they chose each
other forever.
The Captain couldn’t… still can’t… imagine his existence without the good boy.
And he can’t… say what happened or how he got here but… shit… oh god, fuck.
Sorry. Sorry.
The good boy wrote this song for the Captain, gave it to him special, told him:
“For the end and not before.”
I see you down there every day, trying to find a different way to build some
kind of ladder to the sky. How do you think it feels to hear you screaming out
my name while all the while I’m trying to open up your heart? I see you when
you cry yourself to sleep and it’s tearing me apart. I know you wish you could
see me but that’s the way it has to be. Someday you will understand, don’t you
lose your faith in me. Every morning the sun rises, I’m madly in love with you.
Yes, I’m madly in love with you. Like a lonely lover waiting by the ocean, I’ll
never give up on you. Someday you will understand, don’t you lose your faith in
me. But every morning the sun rises, I’m madly in love with you. Yes, I’m madly
in love with you.
That’s the song.
That they played.
At the end.
And not before.
 
“I would come back a thousand times. Every single time. You… excuse me. I’m
sorry. Sorry.”
Left alone in the kitchen, Jared looked down at his right hand.
In his palm were two silver rings.
***** Devotion *****
Chapter Summary
     Jared reacts to the story.
Chapter Notes
     No specific warnings here, just feels.
     Uhm, this is important: Devotion (n): strong attachment (to) or
     affection (for a cause, person, etc) marked by dedicated loyalty.
     Yeah.
     Tiny chapter (300 words) but more to follow.
The young breeder found his Master curled up on the porch swing.
A bottle of dark liquid was gripped in one hand, pressed to his lips and tossed
back, liquid sloshing and spilling, sticky and stinging.
Whenever Jared closed his eyes, he saw dark red. The shadows still frightened
him. The moon was near and it was all wrong, he wasn’t anywhere near a heat.
Signs were everywhere. What would it all possibly mean?
Stepping forward, the breeder eased himself onto the swing.
The ease of his movements—slipping the bottle from his Master’s hand, setting
it down and away from them, grasping his Master and holding him close—suggested
that he had done this a thousand times before.
In the bottle’s spot, Jared carefully placed doll.
His Master shut his eyes and held back a sob, clutching at doll and Jared
tightly.
The breeder began to purr, pressing his Master to his chest so he could hear it
best.
There were many things Jared longed to ask.
How had he died?
Had he died at all?
What now?
But he set aside his questions. He trusted Jensen. He trusted that when he
could—as was promised to him before—all answers would be given honestly. Jared
could wait a little longer. After all, he had waited all this time.
“Jensen.”
Master shuddered.
 
A kiss to Jensen’s forehead. A hand to his cheek. A tentative smile.
“I don’t know…” Jared breathed, steadying himself, his heart pounding. “I don’t
know how you survived. But I’m glad you’re here.”
He slipped his hand into Jensen’s free hand, lacing their fingers together.
Jensen flinched in surprise, eyes wide, mouth slightly open, a breath knocked
out of him.
Their rings were on.
Jared wore his proudly.
“Sleep now,” the breeder whispered. “I’ll be here.”
 
***** Seen *****
Chapter Summary
     The household prepares for their dinner away.
Chapter Notes
     No specific warnings, just a lot of feels.
     Another chapter where at the end I'm like, "Crying? Nope. Nope. Nope.
     Nope. Something is just in my eyes."
     I kinda sorta hate doing this to y'all, after lulling us all into a
     peaceful place, but the next chapter or two will not be pretty for
     anyone. We are winding down, reaching the end. I think about 12k more
     should do it, so about 5-ish more chapters give or take. Just brace
     yourselves and remember the tag: angst with a happy ending.
     Enjoy this for now!
     Comments are loved and appreciated and motivate me. Thank you!
The day of the dinner had everyone tense.
There was an ache in Jared’s lower back that he couldn’t explain; it stayed
there no matter what position he slept or stood in. It wouldn’t let him forget
about it either, even when he was busy doing chores and pressing outfits for
the evening. Annoyed and tired, Jared end up burning himself on the iron.
“Exercise time,” Master Jeff announced, though his voice was flat. He strode
into the kitchen, where the young breeder had been ironing. “C’mon, we’ll do a
short one today.”
It was Jared’s duty to press the Masters’ clothes for the evening, which took
time because of all the pieces to their outfits. Nicky was taking care of their
boots, coats, and gloves, though she had offered her assistance. There was so
much to do and the ache in his back would not ease up, that when Master Jeff
suggested a break, Jared snapped. “I am exceedingly occupied,” he grumbled and
tried to ignore the burn on his hand on top of what was already going on in his
back.
It wouldn’t have surprised Jared if Master Jeff had hit him for his tone.
But it also didn’t surprise Jared when Master Jeff did no such thing.
“I get that,” the Master replied without an edge to his voice, “but we have to
stay consistent. And you can have the iron heat up while we do it, yours has
cooled already.”
With a sigh, Jared nodded. He placed the heavy iron back on the stove top and
lit another fire, hoping it would reheat evenly. Afterwards he followed Master
Jeff to the porch and lay down gently, minding his back. Of course nothing
escaped Master Jeff, who addressed it and asked Jared to lie stomach down,
propped up on his knees so his belly wasn’t pressed on. The young breeder
shifted to turn over, his robes wrinkling in the process. As firm hands
massaged his lower back, Jared began to purr.
The weather was slightly warmer that week than it had been all winter. It
seemed like a glimpse into spring. The gardens Master Eli had had planted here
when the household was purchased would begin blooming and Jared would enjoyably
attend to it. Their rose would have good soil to call a new home.
“You are very tense,” Master Jeff remarked, now kneading Jared’s shoulders. “Is
it all about tonight?”
The breeder sighed and closed his eyes. He took a moment to draw in a deep
breath before replying. “No,” he murmured and breathed out. There was a minute
of silence between them, though Jared’s purring was still as loud as it usually
was whenever he was touched comfortingly. Although things between them were
still and silent, Jared was not uncomfortable. He felt his anxiety unwind from
his chest and his breathing come a little easier.
“Tell me,” Jared whispered, eyes still closed, “tell me something about me,
brother?”
It was a risk.
He had not gone through so much without at least trying.
If he had to be beaten and dragged and chained to the side of the house for the
rest of the evening for his insolence, it would still be worth it. Breeders did
not ask questions of their Masters.
But maybe the good boy had asked questions.
Master Jeff’s usually steady hands flinched and paused, then started again,
massaging the center of where Jared felt the most pain in his lower back. He
cleared his throat and sighed. “He told you?”
“As much as he could, I think.”
Gentle pressure was applied and Jared fought back a hiss of pain. The pressure
disappeared instantly; Master Jeff’s hands moved to a different angle. “I…
what… what do I even begin with, Jared?”
Immediately, Jared felt her presence on the porch. He turned towards her and
smiled.
“Join us?” Master Jeff asked, motioning to the spot next to him.
“No,” she replied, hesitant, standing at the doorway. “It… it seems like you
were having a moment.”
Scooting over, Master Jeff made plenty of space for her, even though they had
the entire porch. “Not one that couldn’t happen without you as well. I’ll
assume Jared has filled you in.”
“I did,” Jared replied so that she didn’t have to. Master Jeff turned Jared
over onto his back and started the usual leg exercises. His leg ached whenever
it rained, but Jared had no other problems with it. Nicky sat down, folding her
robes under her. With care, she brushed her fingers through Jared’s hair.
“Something about Jared,” Master Jeff began, in a fond tone as he pushed Jared’s
leg up. “Something about Jared… hmm… why, you know, nothing comes to mind,” he
teased, with a smile that matched Jared’s own. “Well, okay, if I have to. I
guess…I’m the one who taught you how to play chess. Not that it meant much
since you won every time. It was something you were and, uh, are still really
good at.”
“I beat Jensen every time.”
With a huff and a roll of his eyes, Master Jeff murmured, “That’s because
Jensen’s a shit player. And a sore loser.”
“And you are so much more humble?” Nicky tempted with a smile. “I heard you
lose against Misha at cards. One would think you had lost a war.”
Master Jeff loudly groaned and mimicked a swoon. “I lost to Misha’s fine eyes
and flirting!” When they had all settled, he helped the young breeder sit up.
With a more serious tone, he instructed Jared to go to bed with a hot box that
evening, pressed against his lower back, and that should help the discomfort.
“Thank you,” Jared replied, eyes meeting Master Jeff’s.
“Please,” the Master countered, his tone soft but sad, “don’t thank me at all.”
After that, the rest of the afternoon flew by faster than any Jared could
previously recall. He felt the moon nearby, even though it was all wrong.
 
Jensen and the Judge arrived to the household with two, flat boxes.
Jared was shooed away from helping with the carriage and horses. “Jeff’ll
attend to that,” Jensen declared, handing the box he carried to Jared. “You
should get dressed. I was told this takes a while to put on properly.”
A look over at Nicky revealed that she too was given a box, though she received
it with less pleasure than the younger breeder. With their gratitude and a bow
from each, the breeders headed back inside and upstairs, where they began to
prepare themselves. Nicky ran a bath and held her arms out for Jared when she
was in. Readily, he joined her, promising to do her hair in a lovely twist when
they were done.
“Why are you so cold towards the Judge?” he asked her as they dried off, out of
the tub.
She gave a frustrated sigh and frowned. “He could have told me part of what the
Doctor told you and yet he evaded my questions.”
“It wasn’t his story to tell,” Jared countered lightly. “He cares for you.”
The blush on her face suggested that she did not wholly disagree or that his
emotions were unwelcomed. However, she shook her head and insisted that it
would be best to withhold her feelings until more information was given. She
had all the same questions Jared did and she reminded him that leaving—going
back—meant leaving behind their pups. She would be leaving a total of fifteen
pups; Jared would leave three.
At this thought, both breeders remained silent.
 
Formalwear was different for first and second breeders. Depending on the
household, the first breeder often got to wear finer robes, with more ornate
accessories. Jared had seem some breeders adorned with feathers and flowers;
some with intricate body paint and piercings. He often had wondered if the
breeders had had any input over these ornaments.
Jared himself had always been dressed in the bare minimum, unless it was for
company, and even so, he only had one other robe aside from his house robe. The
parties and gatherings he had attended with his old Master and Nathaniel had
been grand and exciting at the time. There had been so many new things to see
and smell from his corner of the room. Occasionally he had been tossed pieces
of what was being served at the table, and while some of it was quite strange,
some proved to be unforgettably delicious. Despite his experience at dinner
parties, Jared did not have any experience as a first breeder at another
household. Nicky trained him as much as she could, but she was careful to
remind him that she had never officially been a first breeder and that her
advice went as far as what she had observed and learned from Cody. When they
were dried off, Nicky dusted a light gold powder over Jared’s body, to which he
only sneezed once. He insisted she put some on herself, even if it was only
around her face.
“You are much too lenient of a first breeder,” she said to him with a smile.
“What will they all think?”
“They’ll think we match, as we should,” Jared insisted. “It’s also a little bit
itchy.”
“We will itch together then.”
It was decided that their makeup and hair should be done first, before they
stepped into their robes and began tying. Nicky had Jared sit and hold a mirror
as she worked on him.
Her hand was steady and true; she bit her bottom lip in concentration as she
painted around his eyes. “Nothing terribly theatric,” she remarked, applying
powder onto his cheeks and nose, “but my goodness, if you were my breeder, I’d
never let you out of the household.” She winked and laughed, tucking away her
pots and powders, save for two that she handed to Jared. “Alright, just
something simple for me please. Don’t get carried away.”
Tradition dictated that a first breeder be more regal and refined than a second
breeder. Jared felt that the older breeder fit that description much more than
he did—his hand was not as steady and he had to pause several times to make
sure his application was even. Still, he sighed in relief when he was finished.
“Perfect,” she murmured, putting away the pots. “Alright, let’s see what
they’ve chosen.”
At first, she had fretted over their choice in robes. The Masters hadn’t
consulted them one bit about color or size or preference. They didn’t know the
latest fashions or trends in Lee; it was very possible they would risk looking
even more like outsiders. And, she went on as she untied the ribbon on her box,
she was still carrying extra weight. Her fear was looking like a potato, though
the younger breeder assured her that in no form would she ever resemble one.
When the box was opened, she gasped and fell silent, eyes gone wide. Jared
thought perhaps the robes were as she had feared, but he leaned over and saw
that could hardly be the case.
Promptly, Jared removed the ribbon and lid from his box.
Both breeders held up their robes with the utmost care. The robes were made out
of fabric so delicate and exquisite, they were nearly tissue. The threading was
like webbing, with delicate beads and pearls sewn in. Opulent, refined, and
superiorly tailored, getting them on was like slipping into a glove. It was
clear that no expense had been spared with these robes; Jared had never worn
anything so fine and from Nicky’s look, she hadn’t either. When they put on the
shawls they seemed to be dripping with luxury.
“I…”
“I know,” Jared breathed. “I’m going to rip it.”
“You will not. It’s… it’s remarkably well-made.” She lifted up the slippers
that had come with the robes. She nearly started to cry when she saw herself in
the full length mirror in their shared room. Pushing away her feelings, she
marched over to Jared and began tying his robes. Once finished with hers, they
checked their makeup once more and left their room. Without giving a reason,
she had Jared lead and go down the main staircase. Before they reached it, she
took him aside.
“We are going to do extremely well tonight,” the older breeder assured him
confidently. “We are going to do so well, these breeders will sing nothing but
our praises and all the Masters will be proud to be in such fine company. Do
you understand me?”
He wanted to say he hoped so—because the moon pulled at him and the aching in
his back had returned and anxiety plopped itself down right above his lungs—but
ended up nodding and giving a firm, “Yes.”
When she gently pushed him in front of her and called out for Jensen, he was
confused.
Nicky called it, “Making an entrance.”
Slowly descending the stairs so as not to make a fool out of himself, Jared
felt his heart race. He prayed he would not mess this up; he could practically
see his clumsiness coming out and ending the entire night right there. Through
all of his worry, he heard Jensen’s steps on the tile, heard him say his name
in question. When Jared looked up, Jensen was standing at the bottom of the
stairs, looking up with light and clarity in his eyes.
No Master had ever looked at Jared that way.
But there it was. He could see it. The way the Captain looked at the good boy.
That’s what it was like. That’s what the good boy had seen almost every
day—that look of awe and reverence and appreciation. Had old Jared known how
lucky he had been? How fortunate and loved he was?
Jared could feel it now, even if it was a mere fraction of what it had been
before, bleeding through time and shadows and experience.
Reaching the landing, Jared was blushing.
Jensen took his hand and kissed the ring on it, not breaking eye contact, then
pulling him in close.
Voice a little rough, his Master stated, “You are… brilliant.”
 
That’s really all Jared could focus on, despite the hurry and anxiety of the
entire day. Even when he was being helped into the carriage and then en route,
that’s all he could think of. That moment.
That moment when he was sure Jensen was speaking to him.
When he was truly seen.
***** Slipped *****
Chapter Summary
     Their party arrives to Master Joshua's. Masters are not the only
     threat to breeders.
Chapter Notes
     MAJOR warnings for this chapter. Please read the warnings/tags above
     and proceed with caution. Warnings for blood, references to past
     abuse/miscarriage.
     We're in a bumpy few chapters y'all. Hold on. Jared's reaction to
     this chapter will be worth it.
     Thank you.
When Jared stepped out of the carriage, the moon pulled at him.
A breeder’s relationship to the moon was fact; every breeder felt it, though in
different ways. Every breeder had their own version of history about the moon.
Their beliefs were based on what the breeders in their lives had told them, the
stories that had been passed down to them by their families or caretakers or
breeders in their households. If anyone cared to document breeder culture, the
moon would be at the center. A breeder felt the moon’s presence before, during,
and immediately after their heat. Some breeders even felt it before and during
delivery.
Jared considered the moon his particular companion. It had been there the very
first time a Master had triggered his heat. It had been there when he’d bled
into the dirt as he was chained outside for the night. Through all these things
and more, the moon had born witness, even if it too caused him pain.
His mother and Nicky had told similar stories about breeders and the moon.
The very first Breeder was born before any Master and they were born in a lake
of indescribable depth. When they reached the surface and took their first
breath, the moon was the first wonder of the world they beheld. The moon had
waited for them to be born, indeed, it had been very patient. Bathed in the
lake and the lily white glow of the moon, the Breeder managed to swim to shore.
The first Breeder was exceptionally beautiful and resourceful. When the first
Master was born—from the same lake and under the sun—they were considered gifts
for each other.
Upon first sight, the first Master bowed down before the first Breeder. He
understood that the Breeder possessed an ability that they did not—shared only
between the creators of the universe and the Breeder themselves—the capacity to
create life.
With great respect, the Master provided for the Breeder. They built a home and
he took care of the Breeder, ensuring that they always had enough to eat. When
the Breeder provided service the Master was nothing but reverent, in awe of the
outcome of their bodies joined together. The first Breeder, in their term, was
always close to the moon. The moon helped the Breeder through each term in
balance and coordination with the moon’s cycles. When it was dangerous for the
Breeder to be outside, the moon sent a firm reminder, felt deep within the
Breeder’s body. The moon cared for the Breeder.
As time passed and their family grew to what would eventually become the world,
the moon was pushed aside by Masters. The connection was severed to the last
remaining thread, which no Master could cut. A breeder would only stop feeling
the moon only when they died.
The moon could be a warning.
And Jared knew—he had been taught—that signs were everywhere.
He wished for the first Breeder’s strength as he stepped into the entryway of
Master Joshua’s household. The moon had pulled at him on his way out of the
carriage but he had mentioned it to no one. Now was not the time to add
problems to their already tense evening. Nicky and Jared received their
Master’s coats and handed them over to the second breeder of the household,
Matthew. Jared had overheard Master Joshua refer to Matthew as he and Natan as
she. He had passed along this information prior to their arrival, and it seemed
that there were no other breeders in the household.
Matthew seemed flustered but remained elegant as he took the coats and guided
their party through the entryway and into a grand sitting parlor. The opulence
that surrounded them was astounding; Jared had never seen anything like it. It
was true that Master Eli preferred to keep a simpler household but they had not
been without their fineries. However, here, their fineries seemed like mere
crumbs. Everything was covered in gold or silver, or in rich, heavy, painted
fabrics. There were pillars in the room itself, and a small fountain in a
corner. It was beyond Jared how they managed to keep everything so clean and
orderly. Sometimes it was a challenge to keep their own comfortable
arrangements tidy.
“My Master will be down shortly, please be seated,” Matthew stated for the
Masters, bowing and motioning towards the stuffed lounges. After asking if the
Masters would care for a drink, Matthew informed the two visiting breeders that
they could take their places on the pillows that had been provided for them.
Only when Matthew was out of the room did Nicky speak.
“This is beyond wealth,” she whispered, kneeling with great care. “This is
family money, but how? Bankers are wealthy but not so wealthy. His family must
do something else.”
Jared nodded but did not reply verbally. He shifted in his place so that his
and Nicky’s knees were always touching. They were both seated between their
Masters’, with Master Jeff on Jensen’s left. All three Masters were busy
observing the room and exchanging glances.
The Judge whistled and sat back in his lounge. “Cozy, huh?”
Jensen shot a glance at the Judge but smiled tightly. He was, Jared noted, very
regal. He knew exactly how to sit and how to carry himself, though Jared
wondered if Jensen ever felt anxious or insecure. Of course not, Jared
reprimanded himself, Masters never felt that way. Except he had seen Jensen
grieve. But wasn’t pain different from insecurity? How must have Jensen carried
himself as Captain? Realizing that now was not the time for contemplation,
Jared snapped out of his daze and started to observe the parlor. If he hadn’t
been so sure that the household had been this way for generations, the décor
would have seemed gaudier. Not that his opinions mattered about such things,
but still. Everything and anything that could be covered or draped in finery
was. It made that Master in Maya’s household look simple and quite basic, never
mind their own humble household at present. There was so much gold around—on
the drapes, the mirrors, even the breeder pillows!—Jared thought they must have
a mine somewhere.
Presently, the sound of boots on marble could be heard. Both breeders tensed
and the Masters perked up. It seemed that Master Joshua enjoyed making grand
entrances; his first breeder entered the room ahead of him to announce his
arrival. Jared could practically hear what Nicky was thinking. Something along
the lines of what kind of Master introduced himself to his own guests in his
own household? It was a challenge to hold back a smile and keep from
distracting her as well.
As the Masters stood up to shake hands and converse—their drink orders were
taken, that made Jared a little more relaxed—Jared took the time to notice the
two breeders. Both were dressed in the same manner of elegance and style as
they had been previously, though Matthew’s robes were a darker shade of gold
with a simpler design and draping. Natan held herself nobly, speaking to all
the Masters confidently. When Matthew returned with the drinks and served them,
the Masters took their seats and the breeders were to take to their own
pillows, except that Natan sat on a lounge beside Master Joshua.
This struck Jared as odd. If a first breeder in this household was capable of
sitting on a lounge, why had he been given a pillow? He bore his Master’s ring,
though only he and Jensen truly understood what that meant. He supposed it was
an oversight, though a quick glance at Nicky suggested she had also noticed
this.
First breeders were allowed to politely and respectfully engage in conversation
with Masters during a visit. This was where their training was distinctly
different; a second breeder was trained primarily for service and household
duties while a first breeder’s education was more extensive. They were—to
Jared’s limited knowledge—taught how to carry conversation, entertain guests,
and be lovely, memorable hosts. The more a Master could make connections, the
more opportunities the household had for advancement in society. Although Jared
was sure Jensen didn’t care for such a thing, he still wanted to represent his
household as best he could. It was difficult to do so from the floor.
When their drinks were finished, Master Joshua announced dinner, escorting the
Masters towards the dining room. The entire party—Masters in front, breeders in
back—walked through a large hall. Paintings of landscapes and beautiful scenery
were tactfully hung all over. There was so much to look at that it confused
Jared exceedingly. He could not focus. The moon pulled at him from above,
reminding him of the ache in his back, overwhelming and insistent.
The one interaction Jared had with the first breeder of the household was brief
and tense. Natan asked Jared if he could play the harp.  “Uh… no, I’m afraid I…
I was never trained,” Jared stammered out. Nicky inserted that she could, if
that was something needed of them. Natan gave them each a curious look and
replied with a dismissive, “No, that’s quite fine.” This exchange left Jared
anxious.
Thankfully, they reached the living room, where Jared steadied himself on
Nicky’s arm for a brief moment. By shaking his head slightly he told her he was
fine, just tired. A deep breath or two and he would be fine.
“Doctor, tell me, how did you come to selecting your title?” the younger
breeder heard Master Joshua ask as they were seated. “Was it one you always had
a passion for? Thank you Natan, you may sit.” It all happened so fast, Jared
was unable to entirely notice what happened until he was already kneeling. Once
again, he was on the floor in a corner, this time separated from Nicky. He
glanced up at Jensen to seek direction; however, his Master was occupied with
conversation.
“May I solicit your aid in the kitchen,” Matthew whispered, coming over to
Jared.
Unable to say no, that wasn’t part of his duties tonight, Jared nodded and
silently stood up. He couldn’t tell if Jensen noticed or not, since the second
breeder ahead of him moved so quickly. Once in the kitchen, Matthew moved like
a bird, fluttering from station to station. Jared jumped in, trying to help
wherever he could. He was setting down a large ceramic pot on a stovetop from
the oven when a glass was pushed into his hands.
“You look pale,” Matthew murmured, not looking him in the eye, busily plating.
“That will help.”
Was his discomfort showing?
“Thank you,” Jared replied, “this is most kind of you.” There was no reply as
Jared started to drink. It looked like sweet juice, though it had a flavor
Jared couldn’t detect. He’d never had anything like this before. The juice was
crisp and delicious—he was given two more servings before they had everything
plated and ready to be carried out. The throbbing in his back seemed to settle.
Arms loaded with dishes for the starter, Jared followed Matthew out of the
kitchen and back into the dining room. Focused and efficient, Jared served
Jensen and the Judge while Matthew took care of Master Joshua and Master Jeff.
Jared tripped over something—he could not see what—but it wasn’t noticed.
Taking his place at his pillow he gave thanks for a smooth evening so far.
At one point during the entrée, Jensen glanced over at Jared and tossed a piece
of food, which Jared accepted. He found it odd that he usually caught the food
tossed but now missed and had to pick it up off the floor. Popping the piece of
beef into his mouth before anyone could notice his clumsiness, Jared chewed and
swallowed quickly. He regretted it a few moments later, feeling a wave of
nausea.
“Master Jeff how goes your mapping? Quite the cartographer you have become, eh?
I do say that young Masters should explore their surroundings. I myself have
fifty acres here and you are welcome to them.”
“Ah, thank you sir that is indeed very generous. I am nearly done with our
grounds. Perhaps I may call on you when I am done.”
Jared tried to focus on what the Masters were speaking of, what they needed,
but found that his vision was swimming. He felt warm and fuzzy throughout his
entire body, as if he were melting. He had to be spoken to twice by Matthew
before he got up and ambled back to the kitchen to fetch dessert.
“Are you alright?” the second breeder inquired, slicing the decadent cake into
pieces. “Can you pour the coffee?”
Taking a deep breath, Jared nodded. One reach for the pot and Jared had to lean
against the counter. The moon was upon him, pressing down and plucking at his
breath. But what did this mean? He was not in heat, he couldn’t be. What signs
was he missing? How he wished he had Nicky beside him for counsel. She would
know what to do.
“Coffee?” Matthew snapped, his arms full with plates. Seeing that Jared hadn’t
even poured one cup, the second breeder huffed and went ahead, muttering that
Jared should meet him in the dining room whenever it was convenient for him.
Frustrated by the treatment which was reminiscent of Nathaniel, and of his own
inability to do one simple task, Jared grumbled at himself. The kitchen seemed
to be turning over and slipping under him, as if he were an egg in a slippery
pan. With one last grasp towards the pot, the young breeder cried out. A
searing, cold pain lanced through him from his lower back to his belly. Some
great needle hooked itself in his tender muscles and dragged downwards, so that
Jared could only lowly groan and bend over. Something wet materialized between
his legs and dripped down his thighs, legs, and onto the floor.
Blood.
Panicked and frightened, Jared tried to call out for help. He was muffled by
another puncture, this time more familiar. It started at the top of his belly
and scratched downwards.
The cellar. He remembered the cellar. He remembered telling Jensen something
was wrong.
Pain caused his knees to buckle and he fell to the floor, one hand bracing
himself on the marble and the other tucked under his belly. This was peculiar;
he felt as if he were caught in a wave of water, he could not orient himself
long enough to sit upright or call out. Mewling, he curled up and tried to get
onto his back. His entire body was tense though he could hardly feel it. The
numbness which he felt, the disconnect from his senses, created an intense
feeling of dread.
Slippers on tile could be heard distantly, and Jared felt ashamed. He here was,
useless and bleeding and failing once again, and whomever it was would bear
witness to it all.
“Jared!”
Familiar hands touched him.
A gentle voice soothed him.
“Wait here, do not try to move,” Nicky ordered. “I beg you, do not move. I’ll
be right back.”
When she left, cramping began in his lower belly. Breathing became difficult
when each and every cramp seemed to knock out the air in his lungs. Unable to
help it, he twisted about on the floor, writhing in distress. The marble
beneath him was cold and the moon above him was burning.
A bitter taste in his mouth emerged out of nowhere and he began to vomit.
Nicky returned to his side, swiftly pressing her fingers into his mouth,
scooping away what he had not been able to spit out so he would not choke.
Beside her knelt Master Jeff, though Jared could not focus on either of their
faces.
 
The first Breeder had been born in water under the glow of a full moon.
It was a full moon that split him in two.
“He’s been poisoned,” he heard Nicky frantically whisper.
“With what?”
“Alcohol.”
The separation started; Jared’s thighs trembled. He held back his screams; he
was still company, he was still representing his Master. He felt his entrance
begin to open, start to breach and tear.
He could hear himself softly begging for them to end his misery, to put him
down now before Jensen could realize what a poor investment he had made. Jensen
had come all this way for a failure.
 
Born under a full moon.
Jared wondered if they had died under it too.
***** Lost *****
Chapter Summary
     Jared is poisoned and brought back to the household, where the Doctor
     tends to him and their loss.
Chapter Notes
     MAJOR warnings for this chapter. Seriously. Remember this is
     dark!fic-AU. Specific warnings for this chapter (PLEASE READ) are:
     blood, graphic depiction of miscarriage at twelve weeks, pain, and
     grief. This is a very heavy chapter.
     Folks, I don't know what to say. :(
     Gonna try to have another chapter up soon so we can move forward.
     Also to note, Jared is so out of it (from pain and being slightly
     drunk) that he refers to Jensen as both Jensen and the Doctor. The
     Doctor is Jensen, Jared just splits him up.
     This chapter was exhausting; I rewrote it five times.
     Comments appreciated. Thank you.
He lost it.
Whatever it might have been no longer was.
 
Through the night, Jensen rode Jared to their household, working the horse hard
through those ten miles. When they arrived, the cramps had escalated to the
point where Jared was beginning to scratch as his own skin. There were deep,
scraping sensations all across his belly, but mostly near his hips. Just as his
Master had set him down on the kitchen floor—the same floor Nicky had delivered
on—Jared felt a squelch between his legs and cried out for Jensen.
Staying close, Jensen put on a glove and reached down. He swore once he felt
and saw the product. Every cramp produced another push of thick, filmy blood,
something Jared had never seen before. He had miscarried early before—his very
first litter—but that had been so premature it was all just blood. There hadn’t
been enough time to even feel heart beats. This was different. He had a slight
belly and it felt like he was delivering but even he knew that couldn’t be
happening.
“Jared!” Jensen snapped, grabbing the breeder by his shoulders. “You need to
breathe. In and out. You’re losing blood and making it worse by panicking.
Breathe.”
How could he breathe when the child inside him was not able?
This blood would stain.
 
He screamed when he felt his water break.
Twisting and clawing at his face from the agony, terror, and shame, Jared
couldn’t take it. He would be sold. He would be left behind. He would be sent
to a farm and used up until the day came when he was tossed into a pile of
other breeders who hadn’t been good enough to remember.
Just as Jensen was reaching over to calm the breeder down, Jared saw movement
in the shadows behind Jensen. As the shape separated and became three, Jared
screeched in agony.
They wanted to watch.
 
All around the kitchen, shadows were moving and morphing into the shapes of
people. Sometimes lights shone through, like glimmering eyes, and a few times
hands reached out.
Jensen finally roared and threw the nearest thing he could find at the largest
cluster of shadows. A frying pan hit the wall with a loud crash and the shadows
silently vanished. The Doctor began to work again, struggling to scoop out the
clots of blood between the breeder’s legs.
“Please,” Jensen begged, his voice desperate, “I need you to calm down. Please
Jared!”
Vision spinning, the breeder could not orient himself.
Where was he?
One moment he was clear and the next he was behind a gritty screen. The moon
was gone and so were the shadows. Replacing them were cold, long instruments
poking and prodding at his entrance, slipping in and pushing at an angle that
caused him to wail in pain. A rush of clots pushed out, soaking the Doctor’s
gloves and tools. The scraping sensation moved from Jared’s belly to his back
once more. He cried for relief, for the end.
“I want to try the MedLight, please,” Jensen was saying but Jared barely heard.
“Jared? What’s wrong? I can’t use it if…”
“My back,” Jared gasped and tensed up, trying to push Jensen’s hands away from
his entrance. He struggled against Jensen’s hold, kicking and bucking, until he
shuddered and a large, painful clot passed. His back felt like it was being
crushed under the wheel of a carriage.
As gently as possible, Jensen sat the breeder up and knelt with him over a
large basin.
It could have been the basin he had been given by old Master. The basin he had
fed himself from for months, living off of what he was tossed and thrown.
He’d had dreams of children and pups.
Even now, the weight of his one pup bore down on his chest, squeezing his heart
and pushing out any air he might be holding. How was it that grief was so
powerful over someone not even fully formed?
The breeder’s heart beat pounded in his ears as the cramps and contractions
grew harsher and closer together. He held onto the Doctor’s shoulders,
squatting over the basin, screaming and panting as he felt something begin to
move down. His face was covered in sweat and tears, while the insides of his
thighs were smeared with red. The Doctor’s hands were covered in blood; Jared’s
blood and their child’s.
Where did the stillborn pups and children go? Were they silent in some vast
space in the sky? Or were they nothing, never anything to feel loneliness?
He couldn’t bear the thought of them being alone and unloved anywhere.
“You can do this.”
“I’ll still be here after.”
“I am not selling you. I’m not angry or upset. Jared, please, listen to me
sweetheart. Please.”
“You’re going to pass it in a minute and I need you to stay calm. I’ll take
care of it. Jared, please. Listen to me. I’m not giving you up. Ever. Got that?
Ever.”
“You just need one push, Jared. Whenever you can. Just one push.”
“I’m not going to let anyone forget it. I will never forget them.”
 
It was like his insides were bruised.
There was no preparation for what happened, for the overwhelming horror of it
all.
It took an hour.
He threw up twice in that hour, into a small bucket that had been set aside.
It would never have a name. He hadn’t thought that far ahead.
Clinging onto Jensen, screaming out into the moonless night, Jared pushed. It
only took two pushes for it to pass. It was the size of a small melon, curled
up, still, and blue.
“Don’t look,” Jensen said hurriedly, moving down to touch it.
The breeder smacked his hand away.
“No!” Jared shrieked, scratching at Jensen. “Mine!”
In the minute that they struggled, Jared could see its tiny form.
How long had it been dead? How long had it been since he felt any flutter? What
had been in that juice?
He was hauled up.
Lifted.
And dragged away from the basin, where the child lay, in pool of blood and
fluid they had once shared.
He was set down on a lounge and immediately he tried to crawl back to the
basin, on his bloody hands and knees.
“I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” the Doctor could be heard saying. Sorry for what? But
oh, there wasn’t time to think about the Doctor, Jared had to be with his
child. He had to see it and apologize and not have it taken away from him. This
was his first child as a first breeder; the first child that belonged to him
and Jensen. The Doctor had to know that this was important. But all the Doctor
wanted to do was touch what wasn’t his and bury what he couldn’t possibly
understand.
 
A needle pierced his left arm. It stung warm.
Moments later, everything went dark.
***** Seven *****
Chapter Summary
     Jensen tells Jared how he died.
Chapter Notes
     MAJOR warning for this chapter. References and details to a past
     character's death.
     I was going to bed and this scene hit me and I wrote it in a book
     then typed it up and I... what is my life.
     (Thank you to N and C, two friends who helped flesh it out better.)
     Ugh. Idk what more to say. Have tissues with you. If you can, pick
     out all the symbolism here. Pay attention to the number seven. Dark
     red. Etc. See if you can connect them back. Let me know. We are
     wrapping up and everything has been connected in some way.
     Thank you.
Jared’s death wasn’t extraordinary.
It made no headlines; it didn’t stop the world from turning, or the sun from
rising.
Jensen still wishes he could say it was during an expedition or on a risky
mission where they were side by side on a foreign planet in a faraway solar
system. Or maybe it had been some kind of illness that appeared out of nowhere
and ate away at Jared’s tissues until they were black and hollow and still.
Maybe he could have accepted those better.
Maybe.
 
They were stationed at the same place they’d met, one year after marrying. The
same bar, the same motel, it was all still there for them as if it had all been
waiting.
“Some trip, huh?” Jared had said the night before as they lay in their creaky
motel bed, bathed in the dark red light of the neon MOTEL sign outside their
window.
“Yeah,” Jensen had agreed, returning the easy smile given to him. “It ain’t
over yet.”
The good boy laughed at that, then turned onto his side and tossed the blankets
over them, making sure to cover Jensen’s feet because he always did complain at
night. When he settled, he said, “Jen?”
“Hmm?”
“I can make pancakes for three, you know.”
 
It was just like the good boy to do that—to say what took most people
paragraphs in one, breath-taking, life altering sentence.
Jensen rolled over and pressed them chest to back. Somewhere he had kept the
label off that water bottle, with a number long since changed, but the start of
so many things. He ran a hand through Jared’s hair, tender and reverent, before
playfully tugging once and saying, “Make it four, sweetheart.”
Those were the last words he got to say.
 
The good boy liked getting up early and considered himself a disciplined
morning person. He did his usual routine in the bathroom and went out for a run
in the worn down, shitty as hell neighborhood that surrounded the worn down,
shitty as hell motel. He came back, showered, dressed, and left; in all that
time Jensen snored on.
They had two more days before their next assignment, so Jared wanted to make
Jensen breakfast, even if it meant using the grimy, barely working kitchenette
in their room. The note he left said:
        “Tired of ship rations and your bitching. Be back in a few. –J”
He’d gone to the store, where he filled the cart with a bunch of snacks and
unnecessary junk food. There were two big paper bags stowed in back seat of
their rental car on the way back.
Wanting to return faster, Jared took a busier street.
In his mind he thought of names. He had seven total that he wrote down on a
scrap piece of paper at a stop light and tucked into his wallet for later. Two
mile away from the motel, he saw a car pulled over on the side of the road, a
young man desperately trying to wave someone down.
Of course the good boy stopped, pulled over, asked what was the matter?
The young man was with his wife, who was in the backseat, in labor.
He put on some gloves from the first aid kit in the rental, and went to work.
He thought maybe they could get to a hospital but the baby was determined to be
born right then and there. When it finally made its appearance—a little boy—he
managed to pull away and jog back to the car to get his phone.
“You’ll never guess what just happened! Get your ass over here! You should’ve
been here anyway, you’re the doctor in the family. Family. Holy shit Jenny! I’m
so happy. Fuck. Gotta go. I get to practice being daddy. Get over here!” He
listed the intersection and hung up.
 
There isn’t any good way to tell it.
Jensen should be able to just say what happened. Say it. God dammit.
Say it.
 
Drunk driver heading home after an extensive night of binging slammed into the
young man’s car—right on the side—at seventy miles an hour. The driver never
saw the three adults crouched in the car, one of them holding the baby,
cradling it carefully, wrapped in his own shirt.
But the firefighters saw that. They found the baby underneath Jared, who had,
in his last few fractions of a moment, tried to shield it with his body.
All four died instantly.
But you know that drunk lived.
Walked away clean, just a few bruises.
Sweetheart, you call that justice? Jay, you think you deserved that? You call
that fucking fair?!
 
Jensen woke up at 10:07 a.m. One minute and two seconds after the voicemail.
He’d had a nightmare, but he couldn’t recall what it had been about.
Nothing prepared him for the nightmare that followed.
***** Desperation *****
Chapter Summary
     The only thing Jensen could do after Jared's death.
Chapter Notes
     Short tiny chapter but it works for pacing, in my head anyway.
She found him.
From a great unknown, she heard him. His grief echoed throughout space and time
and places shadows couldn’t reach.
 
Jensen did the only thing he could do.
He made a deal.
***** Apparition *****
Chapter Summary
     A week after their evening at Master Joshua's household, Jared is
     told the story, which is disturbingly interrupted.
Chapter Notes
     No specific warnings for this chapter; just read the tags and all
     usual warnings apply.
     Sorry if this is a bit confusing. Jensen tells the truth a week after
     the night of the dinner party. He gives them both time and space
     before telling it. During this week, Jared's pretty much
     unresponsive, the same way Nicky was after her litter. But she takes
     care of him the same way--telling him things, keeping him in the loop
     even if he doesn't respond. Hope that all shows through.
     I think it's a huge testament to how much Jensen has changed that he
     lets Jared deal with grief in his own way, but cares enough to pull
     him back. He isn't obligated to tell Jared the truth but he does.
     Idk, I feel like he's really grown, as well as Jared.
     Ugh, poor doll. Poor everyone.
     The end of this epic is near, my wonderful readers. We have about
     three more scenes (four-ish chapters) to go. Prepare yourselves. <3
     Thank you as always.
     (There is a symbolism chart up on the Tumblr with colors, flower, and
     number symbolism if you're interested!)
The story was interrupted.
He had been lying in the porch swing with Jensen, listening to the story and
his Master’s heartbeat. Jensen’s right hand had been on the breeder’s belly the
entire time, with his left threading through Jared’s hair.
It had been one week since Jensen carried their child to Jared’s favorite patch
of land on the grounds.
Buried with doll, in her box, wrapped in one of Jensen’s shirts, packed in soft
earth and covered with tender grass, there their child would stay. He hoped
flowers would grow there one day, maybe daises.
Jensen’s lips were about to move once more—they were warm under quilts Nicky
had provided for them—and Jared was anxious to hear the rest. Dazed and
distraught from a week of solitude, when Jensen had slipped into the swing and
pressed them both near, Jared had hardly believed it. Master should be livid;
Master should be upset and disappointed. Master was grieving, Jared knew and
understood that. But he could not understand the tenderness, affection, or
concern. Why not lock him in the cellar again?
Jensen’s hand on his belly silenced all those thoughts.
As she spoon fed him broth throughout the week, Nicky reported several times
that Jensen would disappear for hours and could not be pulled away from the
grove. More than once the Judge or Master Jeff had to retrieve him on
horseback. For most of the week, Jensen had checked on Jared but they had
exchanged no words, speaking too difficult to attempt.
Before Jensen’s story started, he hummed that tune from the inn. The one Jared
had sung to his pups and the one Jensen had written in a different time.
The porch swing moved gently and a brisk breeze drifted past.
“Seven sorrows had to pass before I could say anything,” Jensen had sighed at
the beginning of his story. “Let me speak truthfully now.”
And so more was told with more yet to answer.
 
The interruption was a sharp scream from the front doors.
It was unlike Nicky to make much noise, even when surprised. It startled both
Jared and Jensen when the younger breeder was the first to rise and bolt to her
side. He had been so inactive from mourning that his quick movements astonished
them both.
The older breeder was standing in the entryway, the front door open, looking
out at the lane.
There was nothing there.
“Jared!” she gasped, grasping onto him, trembling and pale. “Oh, Jared!”
“What?” he insisted, his voice strange to him. Jensen hung back, listening and
tense.
Flicking her hair back, panting slightly, Nicky shook her head. She shut her
eyes then opened them, looking back at the lane. Looking directly at Jared, she
spoke softly, “I… I saw Cody. I swear to you he was there. As he must have been
when he… but it was him!” In shock she started to pace, wringing her hands. “I
heard a noise and thought… Misha might be back but when I opened the door…
there was no one. I stepped outside and looked a little more and then there he
was, standing over there.”
At this point, Jensen stepped forward, frowning. “Calm down, are you well?”
She did not appreciate the question; Jared felt the tug of a smile on his face.
“Of course I’m well! I was cleaning the parlor and I heard a noise and when I
went to see what it was he was there!” She grabbed Jared’s hands, eyes wide and
searching his. “You believe me, Jared? Please?”
Without hesitation, he nodded. How could he not believe her? She had taken him
in and understood all his hurt, allowed him to set it down and helped him heal.
She had been the one to pummel the truth out of the second breeder at Master
Joshua’s household, as Master Jeff had told Jared, without Jared having to ask
about her. She had a few bruises and scrapes from the tussle but was otherwise
fine. In front of all the Masters, both breeders admitted that they had wanted
Jared demoted to second and Nicky promoted to first breeder because they
believed that to be the right order of things. Both breeders attested to how
inadequate Jared was as a first breeder and thought that Jared must have pushed
Nicky out of the way for the honor. It made no sense for a younger, less
inexperienced breeder from a common background to be the first breeder of a
Master with a title. The flower had been a threat; a promise to restore true
order to the breeder that deserved such a privilege. As the second breeder had
confessed, after Nicky had slammed him repeatedly to the ground, “we were only
trying to help you.” It solidified the fact that their household stood out in
society; even breeders could see it. And though they had not heard another word
from Master Joshua since that evening, all Masters were concerned.
In the middle of the week, the Judge had announced at breakfast one morning
that he had received another letter from the government reminding him to select
a first breeder and complete his household. Nicky had told this to Jared in
confidence the night it happened, relaying the information to him on the porch,
a few tears shed as she did.
Breeders were supposed to work together to ensure the happiness and comfort of
their Masters. Some breeders were not above harming others to secure their own
comfort and reputation.
It wasn’t like that between Nicky and Jared; it never had been.
Truly they were no longer normal breeders. These Masters had changed
everything.
“You’re up,” Nicky murmured, placing her hands tenderly on Jared’s face. “I…
I’m sorry I disturbed you.”
“It’s alright,” he replied quietly. “Did he say anything?”
She withdrew from him and hugged herself, grimacing. “No. Not a word.”
Carefully, Jensen walked outside and examined the front lawns and the lane.
When he declared things all clear, he firmly shut and locked the doors. There
was no explanation for what she had seen but Jensen was convinced both breeders
needed to rest. He led them to the swing, where he got on first and extended a
hand to Jared, who accepted it with a small, shy smile. Settled, Jared extended
his hand to Nicky, who hesitated but took it.
 
“What do you think it meant?” she whispered to Jared as Jensen covered the
three of them with quilts.
Jared sighed. In between his Master and his friend, warm and cared for, he
replied with what he knew.
“Signs are everywhere.”
***** Location *****
Chapter Summary
     More time passes and more is found out, some by an unexpected
     visitor.
Chapter Notes
     bit of a warning here for descriptions of blood, bruising, etc.
     so excited about this chapter!
     comments are loved. <3 thank you.
The first thing the young breeder did when he felt better—a full two weeks
after—was ask Nicky to cut his hair. Inch by inch she snipped at his wavy,
unruly shoulder length hair. With careful attention, the older breeder cut his
hair to chin length, styling it and tucking it behind his ears.
“My goodness,” she sighed happily, nudging his chin with her hand. “How you’ve
grown.”
He looked in the mirror provided to him and agreed.
 
Three weeks had passed and the household settled back into its usual routine.
Although all Masters were tense, at the end of every night they spent it
together in the largest sitting room. Both breeders stayed near their Masters
and ate their pieces of chocolate while the Judge read stories. Several
evenings passed where Jared fell asleep halfway through the story, his mouth
sticky with chocolate, and had to be carried to bed. When the young breeder
tried to apologize for it, he was told it was not a problem.
“When I first saw you, I didn’t believe it was you,” Jensen confided to him one
evening, brushing the breeder’s shorter hair just before bed. “I couldn’t… it
was all so overwhelming. We landed in a field and found town, but it took a
full two weeks to orient ourselves.”
“Did the Judge have family he left behind?” Jared asked as he patched up one of
Jensen’s shirts.
The brush was handled with great care; any knots were taken out carefully. “Not
really. He’d been travelling for a while when he joined the crew. Guess it was
smart of me to bring him along, huh?”
Thinking of Jensen’s sometimes more… gruff moments in society, Jared smiled and
nodded. They couldn’t have blended in as well without the Judge’s engaging
personality. Jensen himself could be charming in the right situations, but he
often preferred to be a silent observer, as the younger breeder had come to
learn.
Every night they fell asleep together, Jensen’s hand on the breeder’s belly and
the breeder secure on a soft mattress, underneath plenty of quilts, and beside
his Master.
 
When one month passed, Jared began to spend more time outside. He and Nicky
were in the garden one day, after their morning chores had been done. Master
Jeff was inside the household fixing a few of the chimneys while their task now
was to spruce up the garden and make it ready for spring. Jensen had kindly
provided them with gardening gloves; Jared was looking forward to working in a
garden without subjecting his hands to thorns and weeds.
Side by side they worked in a familiar rhythm. He could hear the older
breeder’s steady breathing and from time to time observed her. She was reaching
the optimum age for breeding—eighteen—and would turn seventeen in a month’s
time. Her features had only grown lovelier. She had decided to keep her hair
long because the Judge seemed to take pleasure in brushing and braiding it,
which Jared thought sweet and so unlike her just a few weeks prior.
The Judge and Nicky spent more time together, often taking walks through the
grounds when he returned from town. He would bring her small gifts of special
butter, brown sugar, and exotic chocolates, all of which she used to bake
things the entire household got to enjoy. She continued to show the younger
breeder more of her recipes and the Judge, noticing this, bought her a blank
book to write them all down. At the start she was hesitant to use it, anxious
by the blank pages just as Jared had been, but the breeders sat down together
and began to fill them up one by one until there were no pages left.
It was astounding to see their training put down on paper, filling an entire
book. It had made each of them go silent for a moment, skimming over past
memories of using these recipes. Then Jared placed his hand over hers and
together they shook themselves out of the past.
In the garden presently, she confided that the Judge wanted to promote her to
his first breeder.
“That’s news long overdue,” Jared replied with a smile. “Isn’t it?” he pressed
when he did not see her smile in return.
Sighing, she nodded. “It is. I’m very happy. He is a kind Master. I would be
proud to… to be any breeder at all to him, especially his first. I’ve never
been anyone’s first. But Jared, he talks of it like… he wants me to be his only
breeder.”
It took some time to convince Nicky that this wasn’t a strange practice.
Although it deviated from society in an extreme way—households must have two
breeders at minimum—in their household, with their Masters, it was an
expression of devotion.
“I’m not used to having so much attention placed on me,” Jared confided in
return. “Sometimes he looks at me like I am all that he lives for and it
frightens me. I never expected to mean that much to anyone, especially not a
Master like him.” Jared was frequently reminded of the song old Jared had sung
to Jensen before he proposed marriage. The responsibility of being loved was
something the breeder had never experienced and one line particular stood out:
you can’t laugh long enough, you can’t live hard enough, you can’t hold me that
tight.
It was interesting and confusing to try and determine the meanings behind what
Jared had done in another time and place altogether. But this he could at least
grasp; Jensen had the tendency to look at him with so much love, Jared feared
that one day that love would consume him. He tried not to think about how it
already had once before.
Nicky nudged him. “You deserve every bit of happiness,” she said simply and
confidently. “I suppose I’ll try to get used to this idea of being singularly
wanted.” She paused for a moment and knelt down on the ground, touching a patch
of dirt tenderly and added, “Of being enough.” After a few minutes she talked
about how Master Eli had been good to her and she had loved him, but she always
knew Cody was the only breeder in his eyes. Though he had treated her with
respect and affection and had never been unnecessarily cross with her, she
could tell that he never did stop grieving.
An hour passed and their work on the garden was more noticeable. They paused
for a break, sitting in the garden, drinking from a jug of sweet tea she had
brought out with them. It was almost time for a midday meal, which they would
take with Master Jeff. He had expressed an interest in sandwiches and soup,
which Jared was planning out in his head. He had just made fresh bread that
morning, before Jensen and the Judge had gone into town.
The breeders took a few moments of silence to enjoy the weather. It was getting
slightly warmer, though they still wore their shawls whenever they were more
than a few minutes outside. Although the day had started out clear, there were
gray clouds above, moving towards town. Jared hoped it would start raining
after the Masters had returned from town.
“Can I tell you something?” Nicky asked, leaning against Jared.
“Yes.”
“Even if… it’s about…”
He nodded. He wanted to know; he’d been meaning to ask but had no heart for
asking. She eyed him carefully and took a deep breath. “He sold those breeders
to an auctioneer in town from Meridian. I asked Misha why they would choose
that form of punishment instead of any others and Misha said he and the Doctor
had no input. They decided to stay out of it and not press charges.” She tried
to emphasize that pressing charges would make their household stand out even
more. Jared nodded in understanding; accusations of poisoning a first breeder
of a Master with a Title would definitely bring unwanted attention to their
household. It was also no way to build trust within society, even if the
accusations were true.
Nicky flicked her hair over her shoulder. “Misha told me Master Joshua offered
Jensen a chance at whipping them publically, having them dragged through the
streets. He declined immediately. I haven’t ever heard of a Master do that.”
“Nor have I,” Jared confessed in a whisper. “I… I am not bothered by this. I
didn’t… I don’t have anger towards them.”
The older breeder snorted. “Well, good, because Ido. How dare they assume
anything about us and most of all how dare they endanger your life. They
weren’t trying to kill you but they very well could have. They certainly cost
you more than a few days of illness.”
At the mention of his child, Jared flinched.
“They did, but it wasn’t their fault,” he murmured and lay down beside her. She
joined him. Together they curled up, not minding the dirt around or underneath
them. She placed her shawl over him and kissed him as he spoke. “Jen… he told
me… the baby died a week before the dinner. Master Jeff looked… looked at it
and agreed. I just… passed it that evening.”
He thought he had cried all the tears he could for his child but that was
untrue.
He could not hold those breeders responsible for the fate of his child. And in
the end, he had too much grief in his heart to have any room for anger or
vengeance. It was enough for the younger breeder to be thankful that Jensen was
not like any other Master towards any other breeder.
“I did not know that, I’m so sorry,” the older breeder purred and kissed him,
then wiped away at his tears. After a moment, she added, “I still got in a few
good swings at that second breeder.”
Jared laughed quietly and shook his head. “They will never forget that, I’m
sure.”
 
To help him feel better, they tumbled around in the garden, rolling around and
pinning each other down for kisses and licks. Pressed together they nipped
playfully at the other, rubbing against and pushing into each other’s warmth.
By the end of it, they were both breathless and purring loudly. He reached for
her and pulled her down into the dirt once more, kissing her tenderly, thanking
her for taking such good care of him with the depth of his kiss. She moaned
softly and wrapped her arms around him. For a few minutes they were nose to
nose, sharing the same content smiles. She kissed him once more.
Only a noise disturbed them.
Both looked up and gasped.
Thirty feet away from them, beside the dark red rose they had planted, stood
Cody.
But this was not the first breeder Jared had seen in the photographs around
Master Eli’s household. His appearance was awful, Jared felt the impulse to
scream, and would have had Nicky not gripped onto him. Cody was covered in
blood, dried and fresh, with limbs twisted and broken, his robes ripped and
shredded. A large chunk of flesh was missing from his throat.
Instead of disappearing, as Nicky had said he had done before, Cody stepped
towards them.
Instinctively, Nicky pushed herself in front of Jared, even though he was two
inches taller than her. With one blink, Cody was no longer standing away from
them. He stood in front of them.
Jared’s eyes went wide.
No carriage accident had ever left their victim so mangled, so broken. Whip
marks covered him, even on his face, where Masters usually never hit. In one
broken, swollen hand, he held a child’s boot.
Nicky also noticed this, took a sharp breath, and reached forward.
Cody flickered, as if he were a projection. Through the blood and dirt that
covered him, he shook his head, his eyes sad.
The three breeders stood there for a moment. Jared felt his heart racing. The
moon was nowhere near but the sky had changed color. It was a foul dark green
and yellow; matching the bruises on Cody.
Finally, Nicky opened her mouth to speak, surely to demand what was going on,
what had happened?
She was silenced when Cody extended his free hand, his fingers gnarled and
warped. Nicky pushed Jared back but Cody only stepped forward again. Jared
signaled to her to stay put. If the first breeder had wanted to harm them he
would have done so already. Nicky mewled in fright as Cody’s hand was held an
inch over her face, then moved down to her neck. He paused there, at a spot on
the left side of her neck, making direct eye contact with her, despite his eyes
being cloudy and gray.
The same was done to Jared. He held absolutely still, standing up straight, as
Cody motioned to his neck, but on the right side. Silent through everything,
Cody then moved his hand to his own neck, drawing attention to the gaping hole
there.
He opened his mouth and let out a sound so wretched, so filled with agony;
Jared never wanted to hear it again.
Cody held the shoe to his heart, cradling it, and closed his eyes before
turning and stepping away from them. He limped back towards the rose and
disappeared. There were no footprints, no blood stains, nothing to show any
hint that he had been there.
Nicky fainted. Jared caught her.
When he was able to finally breathe and put his wits together, he screamed for
Master Jeff.
Carrying Nicky in his arms, Jared ran towards the house, pushing through the
gardens, stumbling a few times.
 
Signs were everywhere.
Cody had shown them one thing, the thing he had died discovering, the reason
for the rupture in his neck:
Where their chips were.
***** Desolation *****
Chapter Summary
     The Masters reach a decision about their stay in Lee.
Chapter Notes
     WARNINGS for graphic violence, brutality, death, angst. PLEASE
     remember this is dark!fic-AU.
     *This is NOT the last chapter.* There will be at least two more. We
     are though, nearing the end.
     Jensen promises at the end and you--just like Jared--have to believe
     that. Hang in there.
     Credit to "1000 Times" by Sara Bareilles, which inspired this entire
     fic to begin with and this chapter specifically. There are snippets
     of the song in here towards the end. Listen to the song before and
     after you read this chapter. Imagine to yourself how much love it
     takes to make that kind of statement. Think about how much everyone
     has been through, including yourself, in reading this. This is a love
     story.
     <3
     Link to song: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mxaWlsmwGQk.
They had to leave.
That was the only thing all three Masters could agree on.
Two Masters with titles had already mentioned to Jensen their ready and willing
assistance to aid him in finding a new, older and more experienced first
breeder, or a steady, reliable second breeder. A letter had arrived, right
before they all sat down for supper, addressed to Master Jeff informing him
that his new residence in Lee allowed him to select two breeders at discounted
prices. A Master that the Judge had been aiding in a case gave him a thorough
explanation of all the brothels and auction houses in Lee.
The city of Lee was talking about their household.
 
A metal object was held to each breeder’s neck after supper. Jared’s first
instinct was to bat it away because it hummed and whirred as if it were alive.
However, he remained as still as possible because Jensen had instructed him to
do so.
The object was examined by all three Masters while the breeders sat on a lounge
in the parlor.
“There isn’t any proof that your chips are located there,” Jensen announced,
his voice low. “I’m sorry about what you saw but it’s not enough to get me to
operate.”
It was the Judge who spoke first. “It’s possible that whatever material they’ve
used to build chips isn’t detectable by our technology. This is the first real
lead I’ve witnessed about their locations.”
Immediately, Jensen bristled and shook his head. “A ghost is not proof, Misha.”
The Judge continued to press further, which was unlike him. “Who says so? Time
travel was thought impossible two hundred years before our time, an apparition
isn’t so far-stretched.”
Jared touched the place on his neck that Cody had motioned towards. Jensen
replied back to the Judge, insisting, “That’s not even the only problem!
Knowing the general location is fine to start with but that says nothing about
the depth of the implant or its exact area. I can’t just cut their throats open
and dig around in there. Correct me if I’m wrong but they said the ghost was
missing an entire chunk of its throat. That breeder died with its hand halfway
into his neck. And even then, we can’t be sure if they were successful or if
someone found it after.”
There was no way to know the exact details surrounding Cody’s death.
The younger breeder could not stop thinking about those photographs of him all
throughout Master Eli’s household, how carefully they had been framed. It was
every breeder’s wish to be loved and cared for like that. Photographs meant a
breeder would be preserved forever in that moment.
Jared only had one photograph of himself and it was always carried in Jensen’s
vest pocket. Old Jared and Jensen seemed so happy.
Movement snapped Jared back from his thoughts; Jensen sat next to him, opened
his arms up as a signal for Jared to move into them, which he gladly did. He
purred lightly as his hair was stroked. Though his Master was usually
affectionate with him in front of others, he was a deeply private individual.
When a moment was taken to bury his face in the crook of the breeder’s neck, a
tender kiss placed there, it was significant.
Closing his eyes for that sweet moment, the breeder saw dark red.
He sighed and curled into his Master, who slipped a piece of chocolate to him
as the Masters continued to converse.
Master Jeff spoke up this time. “I trust you read the letter the council sent,
Jensen.”
Aware of how Jensen tensed up at this mention, Jared looked up from his treat.
His Master nodded then allowed Master Jeff to detail the information to the
Judge.
“I completed a full report of my findings here,” Master Jeff explained. “I sent
a detailed map of these grounds, the city, and parts of Meridian along with an
extensive attachment summarizing society in this realm. This was well within
the Captain’s knowledge and when the first decision from the council returned,
I was open and honest about it with him. They have sentenced you both to
permanent exile.”
“And you did not think to inform me?” the Judge snipped. Jared could see that
Nicky was beside him, looking tired and ill; she had not even touched her piece
of chocolate.
“Easy,” Master Jeff tried to soothe. “I offered to appeal the decision.
However, under further discussion with the Captain, a few of the council
members, and my continued observation of these two lovely companions in our
presence…” he looked at both breeders. “I ultimately rescinded my objection and
any intent to appeal.”
These were all new things to Jared, but he knew what exile meant. Anxiety rose
in his chest. Where would they go? What would they do?
Sensing the breeder’s distress, Jensen pat his head and began to speak. “It had
to be so.”
“Did it?” the Judge grumbled, completely opposite of what his usual manner of
speech was. “You were so keen on going back, on insisting you would find a way
to make it work, why now the change in motivation?”
A few candles in the room flickered, which Jared noticed. He looked over at
Nicky; she had observed the same thing.
“The council,” Master Jeff answered, “made it extremely clear that anyone
brought back from any time or place not our own would be imprisoned and studied
for scientific purposes. The time traveler themselves would be put to hard
labor as a traitor. There is no way to sneak past those check points either.
And even if you both somehow managed to go back, what would you do? Hide your
companions away for six months out of the year while they were carrying your
offspring? And let’s assume that you could pull that off, especially yourself
and Nicky seeing as she would be entirely new to our time and had no previous
connections as Jared would. How would you explain her rate of reproduction?
That is not how our people procreate. But alright, let’s further assume that
you chalked it off to a healthy love life. What would you do if her children
were born breeders as well? How would you find suitors and explain to them
their bodies? Their unique capabilities?”
Here, Master Jeff paused. He seemed to be distracted. Jared looked all over the
room for any moving shadows. He could not see anything.
Resuming, he turned to Jensen. “You can return, if you like, but not with him.
And you,” he turned to the Judge. “Can also return, if you like, but not with
her. Would either of you admit to such a decision?”
“Don’t even ask that!” the Judge shouted, causing everyone to flinch. “We
haven’t come all this way to leave anyone behind. Not a single one of us will
remain here.”
Jared clung to Jensen. He had finished his treat and it had tasted good but it
settled wrong in his stomach.
“I am leaving my pups here.”
That voice belonged to Nicky. She looked at all three Masters and stood up.
“What will happen to them? What will happen to any other breeder? Have any of
you thought of this? What about those who are not as fortunate as us to have an
escape except for the comfort that one day, death will claim us? Because I
lived my entire life believing that dying was my one true freedom. What will
you do about those who still feel that way? About those chained to posts in
farms far away from any city? About those you’ll find in cellars if you are
lucky enough to hear their screams?” Her voice and questions pierced through
the atmosphere in the parlor. “Will you do anything?”
There was a moment of tense silence. Finally, Jensen answered her and made his
own announcement.
“Jeff and I are leaving. We cannot go back, that is no longer an option, and we
cannot stay. We would be hunted in every town, every district, and all your
children would be wrenched away from you no matter how large a family we would
want.” He set Jared aside gently and stood up. “We did not come here to start a
revolution; the sooner you understand that the better. There will not be any
tampering or interference with this government while we are here and you will
respect that.” Boots not making a sound, he walked over to the nearest window,
which provided a view their front lawns. He too, was distracted for a moment,
before speaking again.
This time he looked at both breeders. “This government has begun secretly
upgrading your chips so that it can crudely track your thoughts in addition to
your dreams and memories. No one knows which chips have gone through this or
when it might happen. So you both must not think about leaving or anything out
of the ordinary. Focus on your chores and on the house.”
Nicky sat down next to Jared this time. She held his hand in hers, eyes wet
with tears.
The younger breeder felt a squeeze and a push on his chest.
He barely heard his own gasp when Jensen announced the next piece of news.
“I’m leaving tomorrow evening. I don’t know how long for.”
 
That night Jared had two separate and distinctly different nightmares.
He could not remember what they were, when he was shaken awake by his Master,
but it had all seemed very real. More than once he thought the real nightmare
might be that all of this had been a fever-induced dream; that in reality, he
was still in the cellar, perhaps chained to a post, his belly bruised and
hurting.
“I love you,” Jensen whispered at dawn.
Perhaps this was all some terrible illusion.
 
Their mission would be to find somewhere new.
Some place unlike this one.
With Master Jeff beside him, he might be faster at exploring different places,
though there was no one like his previous companion in time travel.
Jensen left the photograph behind.
Their last day was spent on the swing, not a word passing between them.
At one point they had started kissing, each of them desperate and hungry and
cold. The young breeder was prepared to insist that it was all welcome, that
yes, he wanted his Master. He wanted to feel his Master the only way a breeder
could truly feel any Master.
But his Master declined.
He said, “It’ll give me something to look forward to.”
 
Hand on the breeder’s belly once more, an hour before his departure, Jensen
told the rest of his story.
 
She had one true form.
And he saw it long enough to be horrified by it. Pleased by his fear, she
changed into a different form.
When Jensen looked up, Jared was there, whole and healthy and smiling.
There was a flicker of relief, of happiness, but it was quickly replaced by
grief and rage. How dare she manipulate his form. How dare she even think she
could possess a fraction the goodness he had. She was entertained by his
emotions, how they fluctuated and changed and warped into something she called
enchanting energy.
Bending down, she reached and grasped at his neck, squeezed it with familiar
yet alien hands.
The snap of Jensen’s neck was quick.
It didn’t hurt at all.
What hurt was her laughter, her voice, which was Jared’s, loud and clear in his
head.
“I love you Jen.”
 
Even without his life he felt each blow to his body. Every fist that connected
with fresh bone was accurate and brutal. Jared had always been able to pack a
punch. Like that one time on a mission and a new crew member had called Jensen
something foul. Without the slightest bit of hesitation Jared had punched the
crewmate in the jaw; he made it look elegant and graceful.
Now those fists were aimed at him.
The crack of his nose stung.
The shattering of his jaw throbbed.
The crunch of his ribs was excruciating.
It went on and on. He did not pass out or lose focus; instead, his focus grew
wider, expanded to beyond the desolation of his body.
Every argument blasted in his ears.
Every stupid, heated thing he’d ever said or shouted or threatened was screamed
back at him with an unbearable ferocity.
How many times had Jared gone to bed upset.
Alone.
All because of his unwavering stubbornness, his inability to fucking
communicate, his deep rooted insecurities, his glaring faults.
And yet how many times had Jared forgiven him.
Dragged the bottle out of his hand and put him to bed anyway, taking the couch
in his place.
“I love you Jay.”
 
The funeral had been simple but crowded.
His family had fought with Jensen over how and where to bury their son, his
partner. In the end, his family won that argument.
And in the end it was Misha who caught him before he leapt into the open grave.
He could see it all over again.
Closed casket.
Fist after fist connected with his face. He could no longer see and his sinuses
were filled with blood and shards of bone.
Everything was dark red.
 
All of those memories stopped.
Like a faucet turned off.
He should be dead. All of his training told him so. Any Captain of a crew had
to have two years of basic medical and surgical experience. Death was not
difficult to determined. You either were or you weren’t.
But he wasn’t. He could feel his heartbeat, although distant and paltry.
She started speaking again, in Jared’s voice once more.
There was no form of payment, no part of his soul she wanted; this was enough.
Crumpled and broken, that was enough for her.
Love disgusted her and he was dripping with it; her hands were stained with it.
Why him?
It was simple and not simple. Her curiosity was peaked; how far would he go?
How far could he be pushed until he said no? Oh but something straightforward
would never do, it had to be deeper. What kind of lover could Jensen push away,
treat as something no better than trash?
She was intrigued by them; they were her insects.
Feeling returned to him.
He wanted to cry out.
Don’t twist him.
Don’t make him unrecognizable.
But bring him back.
To this she answered no, she would do the opposite. She would even tell him
where Jared was, the exact coordinates.
The skin she wore would be born again.
In a town called Meridian.
 
For his arrogance he would pay. For his mere assumption that his pathetic life
and love were worth anything, any fraction of her time, Jared would pay.
For his stubborn belief that once found, all would fall into place, they would
pay.
In a magnificent open wound of space she shed Jared’s skin.
Her true form was monstrous.
She wanted a kiss.
The deal was sealed.
 
He could not speak about their deal to Jared until seven sorrows passed.
And even then, she promised, it would not be that easy.
Delighting in her masterful scheme she laid out plans, intricate and cruel in
her details, carrying over the smallest of specifics from the motel sign to the
number of names to the idea of family.
One moment Jensen was watching her write down the coordinates and the next he
was in his room on board the ship.
Wasting no time he set to find Misha.
He would prefer company but would do it all the same.
How difficult could it be?
 
On the porch, they said goodbye.
Master Jeff went ahead, Jensen would catch up. It was midnight and they were
going into the woods.
A firm embrace was given to each breeder from Master Jeff before he headed out.
He reminded Jared of his exercises and thanked Nicky for her hospitality. He
said nothing to the Judge; he only shook his hand.
Jared couldn’t recall what Jensen said to Nicky or the Judge, but as soon as
they finished they returned inside to give Jensen and Jared privacy.
“I don’t want you to go,” Jared blurted out, a sob in his chest. “Please don’t
go.”
This had been explained to him simply: the way they came in was not the same
way they would leave. There was no guarantee that either of them could pass
through this world once more, as shadows or in any other form.
Jensen held his hands and kissed each of them.
“I love you Jay.”
“No,” Jared cried, shaking his head. “Stay with me, stay here. Jensen, stay.”
“I don’t mind,” his Master murmured, kissing his cheek, then once on his mouth.
“I would die a thousand times to make you mine.”
He began to step away.
Jensen had been bled dry.
He had died alone.
They both had died without each other.
 
 “I would come back a thousand times,” Jensen whispered, looking at Jared
directly, with every ounce of sincerity in his voice. “Always, Jay.”
There were no regrets about his deal, his decision.
He left.
***** Retribution *****
Chapter Summary
     Time passes with no news from either Jensen or Jeff; the household
     adjusts. Visitors appear and the consequences are fatal for some.
Chapter Notes
     MAJOR warnings for violence, brutality, minor character death, blood,
     gore, references to past non-con/abuse.
     Ah! Two more chapters to go! Enjoy the extra long chapter here but
     proceed with caution.
     **If you have questions about the deal/entity that made it, please
     don't hesitate to ask. I did my best trying to explain it all as much
     as I could without having it seem forced. But I welcome questions
     too!**
     Please pay attention to the first paragraph specifically. It may look
     familiar! See if you can spot how (hint: ch. 1) and what it means to
     the work as a whole and Jared's character development.
     I love this chapter. I spent a lot of time on it, rewriting and
     adjusting things until it was worthy of posting. Please let me know
     what you think, whether you are a long time reader/commenter or
     someone who hasn't commented before, I value each and every comment.
     Your responses in my inbox truly make my day. Kudos are wonderful but
     I absolutely love hearing from y'all.
     Thank you for reading. <3
It was his chore to tend to the gardens.
They needed to be weeded, watered, picked, and trimmed.
In sixty degree weather at noon, three full months after his miscarriage, the
garden was a welcome distraction and exercise. He was messy—covered in a
dusting of soil and sweat—kept his thoughts focused on the rewards of his
labor. Every so often he paused because he knew an older breeder somewhere near
would come out and holler at him to do so. He slowly drank from his own jug of
cool, sweet juice during his most recent break. Setting the jug down, he
resumed his work, carefully picking the best of the rhubarb that had come in.
His anxiety tempted him to stop, to contemplate, to creep back into the
darkness of his own experiences—the garden kept him occupied and promised him
purpose.
Rhubarb for dinner didn’t pick itself.
Hands dirty from the few times he took off his gloves, Jared dug into the rich
soil with small grunts of effort. There were onions somewhere; he only had to
find them. Digging around in the earth he briefly thought about what it must
feel like to be surrounded by it. He thought of every pup and child he and
Nicky had born. He thought of Cody. Saddened, the young breeder sat back for a
moment to wipe away at his eyes. He placed a hand on his flat belly, then on
his chest, above his heart.
This was all he could ever offer.
The sound of a carriage pulling up snapped him back to the present. He found
the onions and tossed them quickly into his second bin. Speedily, standing up
in one swift movement, he gathered up his tools and lifted the bins. Walking
briskly, he climbed the few porch steps, breathing hard but welcoming the
exertion of muscle and energy. He slipped into the kitchen, where he put the
bins into the large sink by the window. Nicky appeared and scolded him lightly
about lifting heavy things without help, bumping their shoulders together as
they stood at the sink. She turned the faucet on, took a towel and wet it, then
wiped at Jared’s face in tender motions, taking off all the grime she saw
without a word. In comfortable silence, they washed what he had picked.
The Judge joined them shortly after. He chopped the leaves and roots off the
rhubarb. The kitchen was large and spacious enough for all three of them to
have their own stations and work comfortably. However, Nicky wanted him close
to show him how to make the pie her way.
He watched and helped when she directed him to. The egg, vinegar, and water
were whisked together; he liked that part the best. Next, she blended the
flour, sugar, butter, and shortening, adding some salt at the end. The wet
ingredients were added over the dry ones and he saw her muscles work as she
mixed it all until dough was formed.
“Don’t overwork it,” she murmured softly, handing the dough over to him, to
work on a part of the counter.
When finished, he followed her instructions and split the dough into two, then
flattened each out into disks. Carefully, she placed them into a pie dish, and
then set them into the icebox to chill.
“I learned this from Cody,” she told him as they started the filling. “Not
everything has to be so complicated. Something delicious can be simple. That’s
what he said.”
The Judge handed over the rhubarb and leaned against a countertop, watching
them work.
The rhubarb, which Jared had never eaten before, was mixed together with flour,
sugar, and lemon. Once it was tossed together, Nicky added cinnamon and a few
drops of vanilla. She set the bowl aside for the moment and they started on an
early supper.
Their supper was adjusted to what Jared had picked that day, so everything was
fresh and nothing was wasted. Both breeders spent the majority of their time in
the kitchen together, so they worked alongside each other effortlessly. The
Judge would help but that evening he observed them, affection clear in his
eyes. Before he left to tend to the horses for the night, he kissed Nicky and
pat Jared on the head.
The familiarity of the touch sparked an aching longing in the younger breeder’s
heart.
There had been no news.
He scrubbed at his face and regained his composure. Nicky kissed him sweetly.
It was best to be busy.
 
Two months had passed since Jared and Master Jeff had left. There was no news
or communication from either, though sometimes, in the evenings, the Judge’s
shadow flickered. It did not frighten either breeder because they had both
grown used to his easy, calming presence. However, Jared could not shake off
his fear of any other shadows or movements in the corners of his vision.
Pulling the pie out of the oven, Jared inhaled the sweet, fresh smell. It would
pair well with the stew for supper, which was one of the Judge’s favorite
dishes. He always ate two bowls, which pleased the breeders endlessly.
Some nights Jared slept alone in Jensen’s bed, hugging the photograph close to
him. Other nights, in his own way, he asked to sleep with Nicky in their bed,
the very first one they had occupied when they moved in. And at least one night
a week the younger breeder was invited to share the Judge’s bed, the three of
them pressed close together, with Nicky in the middle and the Judge’s arm
thrown over them both.
A week prior, the Judge announced that he had purchased Jared in the Doctor’s
absence. Legally this was beneficial, as there could be no contest about
Jared’s ownership. In the reality of their household, nothing changed. Although
the Judge would show affection towards the younger breeder it was never
inappropriate and he never demanded service, though Jared knew he could. It
seemed that he never demanded service from Nicky either. She had confided that
she wanted to give him service, provide him with it, but both were anxious
about the consequences and preferred to refrain for the time being. To see them
both at the end of the evening, sharing a lounge, his arm around her as he read
a story, simultaneously made Jared content and lonely. Though they often
included him, there was nothing that could fill the void.
Every evening before bed he would sit on the porch and look out towards the
woods. Sometimes he was kept company on his watch.
No one ever emerged from the woods.
Sitting down to dinner, Jared felt especially anxious. Nicky had turned
seventeen just a few days ago. Her market price went up and a few Masters in
town had made offers on her, asking the Judge if she was suitable at service.
The Judge was open about most things that happened in town; however, he did not
say what his reaction had been, which was odd for him.
Though there had been talk about their household, things had quieted down.
Then Jared’s file was updated and his market price fell.
It made no sense to have him as first breeder and Nicky as second, especially
as a Master with title. The more Jared thought about this, the more concerned
he became. During their meal, the Judge made light conversation and Nicky
beamed when she was asked for another bowl. Jared tried to share her happiness
but he could barely eat his own food.
“Try not to worry,” the Judge said, patting his hand. “I’ll take care of
things, I promise. It’s all just the gossip of Masters who have nothing better
to do.”
The young breeder nodded respectfully though he did not feel better. When Nicky
returned she looked at the Judge and motioned towards Jared. “Don’t you want to
give him his gift? The one you brought from town? I think tonight might be a
good time to do it.”
The Judge looked up at her and smiled, his blue eyes shining with an affection
that comforted Jared. “Yes, you’re right. Let me fetch my bag.” Before either
breeder could protest and do it for him, he was up and walking out of the
dining room. Nicky took her seat and sighed with a smile.
“I know you miss him but you must have faith, hold onto hope. You know how
stubborn the Doctor is.”
“What if he found someone else?” Jared whispered, curling in on himself.
“Someone else lovelier and more well-suited for him than you? That’s
impossible.” She leaned over the table and met his eyes. “You must trust him,
darling. And for now, focus on the Judge’s gift.”  Not two moments later the
Judge arrived with two parcels and placed one in front of each breeder. He
resumed eating his second helping of stew as they opened them.
Jared expected another set of custom robes, though he didn’t know where he
would wear them. What was actually inside was better than any set of robes he
could have dreamed of.
“For me?” Jared whispered in shock, holding the garments up. “This… this is too
much…”
“Indeed, you told me these were robes,” Nicky mumbled, taking out hers. “Misha,
our chips… if we wear these we could potentially draw attention to ourselves.”
Setting his half-empty bowl down, the Judge sat back in his chair. “I’ve seen a
prototype of the upgrade and it’s just as Jensen described it: crude. It is in
the early stages of testing in government facilities and in smaller towns. For
now you are both safe. Even if your chips were upgraded to include this
capability, the image of your thoughts on government screens is rough and
blurry. The outfits I’ve purchased are loose and probably too big, so they
wouldn’t be too indistinguishable from your robes. Does this help?”
Jared was in too much shock to properly respond; his mouth hung open. He dared
to hold the first piece up to his chest.
It was a simple blue shirt. And with it was a pair of soft brown trousers.
He didn’t realize he was crying until the Judge was next to him, patting his
back, murmuring that it was okay, it was alright. “Can I try them on?” the
young breeder breathed, afraid of being hit or struck for his boldness. The
Judge smiled and nodded, then told Nicky she could do the same.
Both breeders dashed to their shared room.
Their robes were instantly shed.
At the beginning, Jared was hesitant and slow to have his skin touch the
clothes. He thrummed with nervous excitement and looked at Nicky, who seemed to
feel the same way. They laughed nervously and Jared was the first to step into
the trousers. Once that was accomplished—heart racing all the while—he threw
the shirt on.
Dressed, they ran through the household, up and down both stair cases, laughing
and shouting for the other to, “Look! Look here! Watch!”
It was wonderful.
 
Two weeks later the breeders were told they needed to start packing.
They could only take one small pack each. Jared thought it might take longer to
pack but he had hardly any trouble at all. The chess set fit amongst a pair of
robes and slippers. His next item was a small package of seeds—a varied
selection of flowers and vegetables—which he spent two days collecting and
sorting.
On the porch one afternoon, he wished he could take the swing. Nicky assured
him that Jensen had built this one, so he could build another without too much
trouble. Still, it seemed such a shame to leave this one behind, with all its
memories and good uses.
When Nicky asked where they would be going, the Judge looked wistful.
“I cannot say, I have received no communications from either of them. I imagine
they will be looking for a world where we will all fit in best,” he replied and
stretched out on the swing.
“Nearly three months and nothing has happened,” Nicky pressed, anxious herself
for some kind of answer. “What could delay them?”
The Judge sighed, playing with strands of Nicky’s hair. “Time passes
differently in other worlds and while traveling. One month here may feel like
two minutes somewhere else. I am not sure, I am also no expert. Before
traveling here I had only gone on three missions and…” he looked at the younger
breeder. “Jared had been at the helm of all of them. Even our Captain took his
orders from you while on those missions.”
This caused Jared to blush. To think that a Master took orders from a breeder!
Well, not truly, but still.
“Why don’t I remember anything?” Jared asked once he calmed his eagerness. “If
I am one in the same why do I have no memories of anyone from before? Not even
my own brother?”
The afternoon began to turn to evening; Nicky lit a lamp and brought it near.
Springtime had just started but the evenings remained brisk. She placed a
blanket over Jared and slipped under it with him; both breeders were curled up
on the swing as the Judge moved to sit on the edge.
“He’s told you most of it, I gather,” the Judge said in a low voice, looking
out towards the woods. “And I assume he told you the deal he made.”
“Not all of it,” Jared said, sitting up slightly. “He never said who he made
the deal with, only that she found him and her true form was… monstrous.”
The Judge seemed to pale a bit. “Yes,” he replied shakily, “quite so.” His
shadow flickered.
There was a long pause before the Judge spoke up again, and when he did, his
voice was hushed.
“He made the deal with a space witch.”
 
What the Judge told both breeders had to be clarified several times.
“What did she want in return?” Nicky asked, breathless. “She couldn’t possibly
do anything for free.”
“Yes, she asked for something small in return, but that is… My dear,” the Judge
explained, “you are missing the point. A witch isn’t like a demon. You have
those here, yes? You know what demons are? Demons make deals for something in
return, often unfair and too high to pay. Demons are souls that were once good
but become twisted into evil. Witches are different.”
He asserted that the most dangerous individuals were the ones who committed
acts of pain for their own amusement.
“No one governs or controls a space witch—she does as she pleases. She rips
open space and molds time to her will, when she has enough motivation. The one
Jensen attracted had not only enough power to give him what he wanted, but to
ensure he got anything but what he wanted.” With a heave of his breath, the
Judge buried his face in his hands. “How do I put this? She knows what you want
the most and she will grant you the favor.” He wiped away at his eyes. “But
that favor ends up being so twisted and warped you end up wishing you’d never
accepted it.”
“Am I twisted and warped?” Jared asked, his voice wavering. “Am I too horrible
to be understood?”
“No!” the Judge snapped then shook his head. “No, please, forgive me. I didn’t
mean it that way. Yes, much of this world confuses and overwhelms us still. And
yes, Jensen couldn’t understand who you were, who you are without a lot of time
and forgiveness on your part. But mainly, he would have never wished for you to
be whipped and beaten on a daily basis by your Master. He would have never
agreed to any world where not only did you suffer—but one where he was the
cause of much of that suffering. Do you understand?”
Nicky held Jared close to her. She kissed his forehead and asked, “Does she
live off of the pain and suffering of others?”
The Judge’s shoulders slumped. “No. She lives off nothing. Her magic and power
are innate. She is born with it and dies with it.”
“So what prevents her from destroying everything and anything she crosses?”
Nicky inquired. “How could anyone interact with them knowing what would happen?
Why couldn’t he leave things alone?”
“You don’t understand!” the Judge sighed again. He stood up from the swing.
“You didn’t see Jensen right after. How much he wanted to take Jared’s place;
how he ceased to function, how thoroughly he broke. He was desperate. She
brutally killed him, brought him back, and promised him he would see Jared
again. Wouldn’t you hold out for that? She even wrote out the coordinates for
him so he wouldn’t have to look through all of time and space. But this world
was beyond our reach, it still is, so she brewed something from a plant we have
never heard of and instructed him to drink it on the journey.” The Judge’s
shadow wavered again, this time more erratically. “She enjoys watching all who
are not like her; we amuse her. Destroying us would be too easy. Twisting the
details of the people we love, the people we die for, and watching us interact
with them—to try to learn to love them all over again—that is more involved.
That provided her with hours of entertainment. She doesn’t care if Jensen and
Jared win or lose; we are but insects to her.”
His shadow was moving separate from him at this point. He looked at Jared. “She
promised Jensen you two would be joined together again but she by no means said
in what way. He was desperate enough to accept what may come. I could not… it
is unnatural to bring people back from the dead, in any world, for any purpose.
Though I was too late to stop him, I could not let him embark on this journey
alone. So we split the brew and came here. As for Jeff… his family, well, your
family has connections. The council opened the doors here for him as a means to
bring us back as treasonous criminals.”
The Judge shook his head and smiled bitterly. “Not that he would, Jeff is a
good man. He took much better to this world than either Jensen or I and in much
less time. I would... never condone these actions again but I also do not
regret them," he said firmly. "He made a deal. She granted it. We figured the
rest out, with some help along the way.” Bristling, he turned to observe his
shadow, eyes going wide at the sight of it.
“What? What is it?” Nicky asked, tightening her hold on Jared. “Misha?”
Hurriedly, the Judge ushered them inside and shut the door.
“It’s a warning.”
“For what?” Nicky whispered.
Their Master led them away from the door and windows; it would be a night where
they would all sleep together.
Quietly he admitted, “I don’t know but it’s nothing good.”
 
There were only a few more things that Jared learned about this space witch, in
hushed whispers before he fell asleep.
She was cruel and self-serving, with a fondness for intricate details and
order. Her true form was immense, like a large white lobster without its shell,
covered in pale blue, throbbing veins and with many skittering legs. The powers
she possessed depended on no one and nothing, with the ability to bring people
back from the dead, see the future, heal rifts in time, and bend time itself to
her will, though she preferred to remain distant and impartial. There was at
least one witch per planetary system and they preferred to stay alone, being
very territorial creatures by nature. Though she had no gender or category like
Master or breeder, she most often took female forms. The Judge knew this from
brief study before they had left; he only knew what she looked like from the
harried descriptions Jensen had provided.
“It’s best to think of happier things before falling asleep,” the Judge
murmured, brushing his hand through Jared’s hair. “You know of all the things
she can hear throughout the solar system? Through all her indifference to our
problems, which she finds petty and beneath her, this she hears clearly.”
Tonight was different; tonight Jared was in the middle. Nicky had already
fallen asleep, her light breathing soothing amidst talk of what roamed space.
Jared shut his eyes and took in a deep breath. He curled into the Judge and
purred as Nicky shifted to curl against his back.
“She can hear the sound of soul mates grieving.”
 
The next day, the Judge’s shadow would not stay in place. It morphed into
unrecognizable shapes, refusing to remain still for longer than a few minutes
at a time. Though he started about his day as usual, when it came time to hitch
the horses to the carriage, they refused to go near him, neighing and shaking
their heads in protest.
Jared had to step in and calm them down. Even Nelly, the gentlest of the
three—the one who had so carefully backed up when Jared had gotten caught under
the carriage while heavy with his litter—took time to settle.
“Perhaps I should stay here today,” the Judge murmured, frowning and shaking
his head. “I don’t feel right about leaving you two alone.”
“We’ve been alright this entire time,” the older breeder said, handing the
Judge his gloves. “You have that case today, remember? The one you prepped for
extensively. Your absence would be telling.”
He grudgingly agreed, though he made sure to tell the breeders they were to
stay inside at all times. “I’ll be back in a few hours, as soon as the case is
done,” he assured them, able to finally mount Nelly with her blinders on.
“Please follow my orders, both of you.”
“Yes sir,” each breeder answered.
Looking back twice, the Judge left.
 
The breeders tried to keep to their routine and stay occupied with their
chores. Fresh bread was baked, though Jared nearly added too much flour,
distracted by his unease. At midday they ate a light meal, and then set about
to cleaning. The younger breeder managed to persuade Nicky to letting him check
on the garden. She relented, but only for five minutes while she stood watch by
the porch.
Pleased to see that his work had yielded strong flowers, Jared smiled as he
knelt down. He was wearing his trousers, which continued to thrill him. Just
some small upkeep and he would feel better.
“Jared,” Nicky snapped from her place. “I hear a carriage.”
At first, Jared thought it was the Judge returning from town. However, he
remembered that the Judge had only taken Nelly, since she was the only horse
that calmed down long enough. The carriage and wagon had been left behind. He
stood up and heard the same turning of carriage wheels as she did; they were
coming up the lane quickly, which spoke of anything but a leisurely visit.
Dropping his gloves and spade, he hurried towards the older breeder. They
silently made their way towards the front entryway and peeked out, keeping
down.
“It’s Master Joshua,” Nicky breathed. “That’s his carriage.”
As the carriage wound up towards the house the breeders debated on what to do.
Should they pretend no one was home? Should they let him in and tell the truth
that the Judge was not there?
Their debate was answered when they saw two breeders step out of the carriage.
“He said he sold them!” Jared gasped and pulled Nicky away from the side window
beside the doorway.
They scrambled into the parlor next to the entryway, choosing to hide behind a
lounge. “They’re not here for a visit,” Nicky blurted out, trembling. “Jared,
they have knives with them.”
He nodded; he had noticed. Did they know the Judge was out? It didn’t matter.
He could hear heavy boots stomping up to the door. He flinched at the sound of
glass breaking and the door being forced open. Nicky tugged on Jared’s sleeve
and motioned for them to move to another lounge, one that would not show their
feet if they hid behind it.
Gingerly, they moved. The door was forced open.
Over the crunching of glass, Master Joshua shouted. “Come out now breeders, we
know you’re here. Don’t make this any more difficult than it has to be.” He
paused for a moment; Jared knew he was listening, he hoped their heart beats
weren’t too loud. “Alright, if that is the way of it. My darlings, fetch.”
Jared knew that they wouldn’t hear the breeders’ footsteps on the tile, their
slippers too soundless for that. The sitting room would be the closest area to
look. They had mere seconds before they were discovered. Sweating and
shivering, Jared tried to clear his mind long enough to think.
Out of the corner of his eye a shadow moved. He nearly screamed. He did not
know what was worse.
But then he saw it move over his foot.
It covered his foot completely in darkness, so that it appeared as part of the
shadow of the lounge. Another shadow appeared, this one greater in size, and
covered his leg. They were moving slowly, so as not to overwhelm and frighten
him.
They were creating a shield.
He clapped his hand over Nicky’s mouth and pulled her near him.
Just as Matthew looked behind the lounge, the last shadow slipped into place,
masking both breeders completely.
“Whatever tricks you are using we will find you,” Master Joshua yelled, turning
lounges over, destroying their home. “Come now, aren’t we friends? You
misunderstand me,” he laughed as he stood in the center of the sitting room. “I
don’t want to hurt either of you. You see, I’m being paid to bring you back
alive.”
Though the shadows were pitch black, Jared and Nicky could still see out from
them. It was his first plan to remain that way for as long as possible, until
their attackers moved on to another part of the household. Of course that did
not happen. Something caught Master Joshua’s attention. He stormed over to
their hiding spot and held up a hot poker, burning bright orange.
His aim was directly above Nicky’s heart. Jared pushed her out of the way,
sending her tumbling out of the shadows’ protection and Jared reeling in the
opposite direction. He cried for Nicky to run while he dodged the poker and the
Master’s boot. The shadows started moving around the room at a terrible,
dizzying speed, catching the Master and his breeders off guard long enough for
Nicky to pull Jared out of the sitting room.
Running, they made for the kitchen.
Before they could pick up anything to defend themselves with, Jared was grabbed
from behind, his hair yanked and a punishing hand on his belly.
The poker was held at his neck.
Nicky was cornered by the two breeders, knives held at her throat and belly.
A disgusting pair of lips pressed to Jared’s ear. “Jared, don’t struggle,”
Master Joshua grunted, pressing the poker firmer against the breeder’s throat.
“Tell me who your Master is, the one who does not belong here or anywhere I or
any Master has ever seen. Tell me what he could possibly see in you, a breeder
not even worthy to be milked to death. Tell me or I will stick this poker,” he
started to choke Jared, “directly into this cursed little belly of yours.”
Jared began to see black in the edges of his vision.
“Maybe,” Master Joshua snickered, his breath hot in Jared’s ear, “your pups
will feel this.”
Two seconds after, Jared shut his eyes.
He focused.
And prayed.
It was the one maneuver he had learned from his time in the kennels. He’d seen
a few brave breeders do it just before they were dragged away, pitched into
uncertain blackness.
With the last of his fading breath, the back of his head slammed precisely into
Master Joshua’s face, more specifically, right onto his nose. The spray of
blood against Jared’s neck told him he was successful.
Breeders had excellent reflexes that many Masters underestimated. In one, two,
three swift motions Jared perfectly  mimicked what those breeders in the
kennels had done. His fist connected with Master Joshua’s stunned jaw, and his
elbow dug into the tender meat of his cock.
It had taken several auctioneers to subdue those breeders in the kennels, and
through painful, electric means, they had. Jared had watched limp, scorched
bodies be dragged away into dark rooms. He reached for a pan and nearly shouted
in elation when he managed to grab it without tripping. Before Master Joshua
could regain his composure completely, Jared swung.
With a vile thud, the Master dropped to the floor.
Breathing hard, Jared looked at the two breeders standing in front of Nicky. He
wielded the pan and held it up, hesitant to cause any harm to any breeder but
willing in this case.
Taking one step forward, the breeders dropped their knives.
“You’re too late,” the first breeder spat at Jared. “Government officials will
be here in less than five minutes.”
The punishment for any breeder—regardless of status, rank, or background—caught
harming a Master was immediate death. They would kill him without question,
without one second of pause.
“Shut up,” Nicky muttered and hit both breeders on the back of their heads with
a cutting board from the countertop. “Spoiled, detestable breeders.” She
stepped over their prone bodies and held a hand out to Jared. “Come, you did
not kill him, he will wake up soon. We’ve got to go.”
“But where?” Jared asked, breathless, his throat raw from being squeezed. “What
about…” he gasped in shock as his ankle was grabbed and he was heaved down. He
landed on his arm, in a manner all too familiar. This time, however, bones did
not shatter, though his wrist was sprained.
Twisting desperately, he convulsed and tried to toss the Master’s hand off his
leg, being dragged and pulled closer towards him with every second that passed.
For a brief moment Jared could see himself pinned under Master Joshua, forced
still and motionless underneath his weight, his face pressed flat against the
cold tile as he was beaten into final, brutal submission.
But this was not the bathroom and this was not old Master and Jared was not
alone.
Screeching all her rage and fear and grief, Nicky bashed Master Joshua’s head
in, slamming a heavy pan down until his skull caved in from the repeated blows
of the frying pan. The loud crunch of bone echoed throughout the kitchen; her
aim was perfect, her retribution complete. Blood and fragments of tissue
splattered everywhere, until Jared came to his senses and gently touched her
shoulder. Both of them were filthy but that did not stop the younger breeder
from embracing her quickly. She held back a sob, hiccupping and tossing the pan
away from her. It was over.
When they parted they sprinted, fast as they could, to their room and grabbed
their packs. He remembered their first day here, how overwhelming everything
had been.
As they raced down the breeder stairs he thought of what they were losing.
At the foot of the stairs he focused his thoughts to what they were gaining.
 
The shadows were gone.
The young breeder had had no chance to thank them. Nicky grabbed his hand and
pulled him towards the gardens. Their only option was to go towards Lee in
search of their Master. It was a lengthy walk but they could make it, if they
managed to stay unseen.
Nearly out the backdoor that led to the porch, they heard two Masters shouting
their names.
It was the Judge.
And Jensen.
 
A breeder could go their entire life having spent less than five minutes with
their pups. Some breeders were fortunate and given the honor of keeping one or
two pups. And some breeders were even more fortunate and treated kindly by
their Masters, recognized for their unique contributions in the way of the
world. Only a breeder could bear life.
Born under the moon, the First breeder was forever connected to it and passed
on that quality to all its children. In that aspect, the First breeder lived
on. They were never forgotten.
At the end, the moon was with Jared. It pulled at him, from deep inside his
belly to the delicate vessels near his heart. Resilient and unyielding, the
moon provided him with renewed vitality.
It gave him the strength to follow Jensen’s singular, desperate command.
“Run!” 
***** Soar *****
Chapter Summary
     The party flees.
Chapter Notes
     Specific warnings for this chapter: violence, brutality, references
     to death/torture. Proceed with caution.
     First, I want to say that chase scenes are extremely difficult and I
     rewrote this chapter six times, six different ways. I hope I nailed
     it here; my own heart is still pounding.
     Second, I want to say thank you to all of you for sticking around and
     hanging in there for 150k. You are the best and every one of you
     brightens my day. Thank you.
     Third, we have one more chapter to go. Brace yourselves.
     Fourth, I'm pleased to say there will be an extra something for y'all
     next chapter.
     Songs that inspired this chapter are: "Ready Aim Fire" by Imagine
     Dragons, "Run" by Kill it Kid, "Run Boy Run" by Woodkid, and "Boom
     Boom" by Big Head Todd. I suggest you listen to them before and
     during this chapter. They're easily found on Youtube, Sound Cloud,
     and Spotify. It'll get your adrenaline going.
     Okay, enough rambling from me. Read! Comment when you're done because
     I love hearing from you. <3
His Master was wearing a government official’s uniform without the mask.
When the young breeder saw this, he wanted to demand an answer. There wasn’t
any time for that.
There was hardly enough time for Jensen to grab the breeder’s hand and pull him
forward as the household collapsed. It was like nothing Jared had ever seen or
heard of before; as if some thunderstorm were taking place in the center of the
household, destroying it completely from the roof down. In horror, he watched,
wide-eyed and ears ringing.
Hundreds of uniformed government officials marched around and over the rubble,
each of them wielding pronged sticks that sparked blue and white.  
Their footsteps were audible over the sound of their household crumbling.
Wave after wave of them appeared; it was impossible to tell how many there
were.
Imposing and vicious, they advanced with one single purpose.
Capture and kill.
 
 
They flew.
As if each of them possessed tremendous, invisible wings they reached the
woods.
 
 
At the tree line, hidden behind trees Jared had come to know as sturdy,
familiar companions in his walks with Master Jeff, the breeders’ packs were
taken from them and peculiar devices were placed on their hands.
Glove-like, each hand was covered in shiny, lightweight silver scales threaded
together. On the palms of each contraption was a sapphire, glowing orb with a
white center they were instructed not to touch under any circumstances. Each
Master bore the weight of their breeder’s pack and quickly told them how to use
their new accessories. Halfway through the lesson, an official broke the tree
line twenty feet away.
Immediately, they were shot.
Jensen tucked away the concealed weapon he had used—one handed, with confident
aim—and gripped onto Jared’s shoulders. Their eyes met.
“I told you I would come back,” Jensen said firmly, honesty in his eyes.
Although the uniform he wore frightened the young breeder, Jared had no doubts
about the sincerity of his Master’s tone or statement. He nodded in
understanding.
It was time to move once more.
“Four are on the right,” Jensen shouted when they began to run. “On my command,
Nicky and Jared, aim for those closest to you.”
The forest floor beneath them was rough and their slippers were unsuitable for
it or the pace and length of their run. Still, neither breeder faltered. Above
the cursed marching behind them and to their sides, above the ringing that
lingered in their ears, and through the hammering of their hearts Jensen’s
voice rang clear.
“Ready!” Jensen roared, lifting up his weapon, holding it out to his direct
right.
“Aim!” Both breeders perfectly mirrored his stance.
“FIRE!”
To each breeder’s surprise, they hit their targets. Hot white orbs of pure,
explosive energy were blasted from their palms, striking each official in the
chest, sending them sprawling.
Barely one minute passed before Jensen was shouting commands once more.
Officials were sweeping in from the sides, long poles stretched out, aimed
directly at the breeders’ bellies. Feet pummeling the forest floor, Jared
stretched out. He allowed his body to take up the space around him as he hadn’t
ever dared do, his long legs lifting him up and over the shadowy roots of trees
they passed.
Once more, his Master got their attention. “Ready!” Jensen bellowed, locking on
his target and having the breeders do the same. “Aim!” Running at speeds they
had never reached before, feet picking up swiftly, moving through the forest in
desperate yet elegant movements, each breeder assumed position. “FIRE!”
Instead of shooting only once, the young breeder began shooting in succession.
One, two, three targets were hit. Deep in the woods, Jared felt the moon
overhead, through the thick greenery. It heaved him forward, lifting him as if
he were grasping at and swinging from a vine. It guided him towards their
destination, even though he didn’t know where it was. Constant and solid, the
moon helped him plan ahead, aiding him in making rapid decisions about footing,
pacing, and direction.
Glancing behind, Jared realized he was first.
He was leading their party.
For a second, Jensen grinned, their eyes meeting, and signaled to keep going.
They had to keep flying.
 
Rushing past branches, roots, leaves, and patches of sunlight, they tore
through the woods.
Failure was not an option, even when an official mounted on a horse appeared
nearby, on the left, closest to Nicky. Every few seconds Jared made sure she
was there. Their Masters flanked them on either side, both breeders towards the
front.
Jared’s left leg scraped against a sharp and brittle branch. He cried out when
he felt a wound open and faltered, slowing down but not stopping.
There were worse things than that wound.
They would not rest until his belly was ripped open and his neck twisted.
They would keep him conscious through it all before the final snap.
With their shiny, spotless black gloves, they would reach out and smother him
with the mess of his own blood and tissues. Like the juicy inside of a melon,
they would scoop out his tender belly and feed it to him. They would be sure to
drag him into agonizing darkness, followed by the bright light of terror
reserved only for the worst, most despicable, disobedient, and treacherous
breeders.
When they passed the grave of their child—doll’s resting place—Jared was
grateful they would not run over it. Veering to the right, the changed their
direction; as few boots as possible must pass over in their abominable sweep.
They could kill him—they could beat, torture, and render him a bloody, raw mass
of flesh and blood—but they would not desecrate his child’s piece of the world.
Jared prayed. He begged for forgiveness. He promised to never forget—to forever
honor and love every life he had had the privilege of carrying regardless of
the outcome. He had sung to every one of them; he had loved them all. No heart
beat would ever be lost.
Muscles burning and chest heaving, he lost sight of it.
But he did notice two things at the site that caused him tears as he continued
charging forward.
A child’s shoe and a dark red rose.
 
 
The Judge fell.
He reached out, towards their party, waving them away and shouting for them to
keep going.
“Go!” he cried out, an official four bounds away from reaching him. “Don’t
stop! GO!”
Turning, Jared saw the moment in the Judge’s eyes where he accepted what was
happening, where he reached peace with his outcome.
And he saw the moment when Nicky disobeyed.
She held one hand out to blast the nearest official and the other to haul the
Judge up by the front of his shirt, careful with her palm. They were awkward
and stumbling but moving forward once again.
Jensen moved to the other side of the Judge and helped her carry him.
The official on the horse drew near.
Hundreds of pairs of boots drove forward, closing in.
“Just… a little more…” Jensen yelled out.
They were all pushed to their limits. Jared could feel his breathing waver,
sweat poured down his hair and into his eyes, stinging and blurring his vision.
Covered in blood and bruises and dirt and sweat, he felt the moon weaken. He
felt a weight on his chest and emptiness in his belly.
When he shut his eyes for a split second he saw dark red, vibrant and searing.
His head hurt and he grabbed at it, hands on his forehead.
Reaching the edge of a vast field, passing over a blur of letters and shapes he
could not read but were drawn in silver, a voice reverberated painfully in his
head, garish and blaring.
In the field he fell.
Exhausted and stunned, he dropped roughly onto the grass.
The voice continued to speak; it would not be silenced. Disoriented and
attempting to right himself, he fell over himself again and again, unable to
regain his balance. He grabbed at his neck and let out a howl. He heard Nicky
suffering nearby.
This booming, distorted voice announced where their chips were, where the exact
locations could be and the depths of the chip inside every breeder. When it
stopped—the connection severed—Jared threw his head back and gaped at the wide,
open sky above him. The moon was gone.
He looked over, vision swimming, bracing himself for capture, for jolts of pain
and slices into his belly.
In one perfect circle, the mass of officials slammed against an invisible wall.
Locked out.
They had reached safety.
Jared reached out for Nicky, who was on the ground nearby, thrashing in pain.
They had to find their Masters.  
He froze when he saw that one official had made it through the wall, had
somehow been able to pass over the protective, mysterious silver writing.
Looming and terrible on their horse, the official’s gloved hand reached towards
Nicky. Jared screamed for Jensen, for the Judge, for anyone. Crying and
dragging himself forward, the young breeder nearly reached her but it was too
late.
The official dismounted.
They knelt down and raised their hand.
Something raw ripped through Jared’s heart and with the last of his strength,
he drove himself forward to cover her body with his.
In those seconds he saw dark red flicker at the edge of his vision.
He hoped Jensen would not leave his body behind and he wished there would never
be another deal.
This was good.
This was a good end. Better than he could have ever wished for. He could die
making everyone proud.
The gloved hand tore off the official’s mask; Jared prepared himself for the
ugly laughter of conquest.
Yes, he could die this way, shielding another body with his own once more.
 
 
Somewhere, the earth was being forced open and Jensen was shouting.
The mask was tossed aside and landed with a thud.
 
Behind it was Master Eli.
He grabbed for Jared’s neck.
***** No One *****
Chapter Summary
     The final chapter, questions are answered and the earth opens up.
Chapter Notes
     PLEASE read with caution. The first portion of this chapter is
     particularly graphic and involves two minor character deaths,
     including the death of a child.
     --For the ending to really hit home, listen to Angeles by Steve
     Carlson and Jensen Ackles.--
     This is it.
     The end.
     This is my first novel folks and here it is, finished.
     I just... wow. I'd like to thank each and every one of you who have
     stuck with me, who took a chance and read this. Thank you to you,
     dear readers, because without your encouragement this might never
     have existed. it has been a pleasure.
     Yes, this will be edited and turned into an e-book. I will be working
     on the edits with a friend and may call upon a few of you to beta.
     Look out for an announcement on the tumblr page (ittakesalotofwater).
     I'll also be rambling on about the ending and some of the major
     themes about this work on tumblr for the next few days as I recover
     from this.
     My special something extra for you?
     There's going to be a sequel.
     It'll be my NaNoWriMo entry. Until then I'll be working on other
     verses and editing this epic.
     Seriously guys, I never expected this to be more than 10-20k. I never
     expected the amount of love and support and compliments. Just...
     thank you. <3
     Send me comments to read, I love hearing from y'all. Rec this fic but
     do me a favor and if it hits a rec list, link me. :) All of your time
     and support has been and continues to be greatly appreciated. -C
Cody had been caught.
He had volunteered to be Master Eli’s first experimental subject.
For years Master Eli had been testing various chips, attempting to override
their functions and controls, especially the location tracker. Cody knew of
this work; he was a brilliant assistant, with a mind for numbers and
calculations. They waited for the absolute best time to flee.
Their plans changed when they purchased Nicky, and once again when she
delivered a successful litter. Charlie had been the light in everyone’s eyes.
Two nights before everything became chaos, Cody discovered the winning code to
send his chip and its controls into hibernation. The only permanent way to be
rid of his controls was to rip it out physically. But there wasn’t enough time
to experiment. There was not enough time to study how the removal of a chip
would affect the breeder.
At midnight, two nights after, an immediate order was passed for all of
Meridian.
Any breeder over the age of thirty was to be put to death.
Breeders outnumbered Masters in Meridian two to one. Fearful and threatened,
the leaders of Meridian had decided that these breeders were acceptable
candidates to exterminate. These breeders, it had been argued, were past
breeding age and near the end of their lifespans anyway. Simple as that. Within
hours the order was drafted, revised, and issued.
Nicky and Charlie knew nothing of this.
Master Eli’s wealth, connections, and community standing could not help. While
he pledged his fidelity and faithfulness to his first breeder, breeders were
being dragged out of their households. He saw one older breeder torn from the
arms of his Master and killed instantly on the streets, body thrown onto a cart
without care.
Rushing home, Master Eli found Cody preparing a carriage.
The first breeder announced his departure. His chip was off and if he hurried,
he could go undetected long enough to reach the Northern borders. Determined,
he challenged Master Eli: move out of his way or help.
Yes, the road was rough and slippery from the rain that evening. And yes,
Master Eli had been distracted from driving the carriage. There had been a
stowaway: Charlie.
Thinking that Cody meant to play, the toddler had hidden himself in the secret
compartment within the carriage. When he revealed himself, squealing and
laughing, Cody had screamed in horror. Cradling the child in his arms, he
begged Master Eli to turn around. The roads out of Meridian were all heavily
guarded, save for the one small sewer Cody had planned to leave from, but even
that was perilous.
Master Eli did not listen.
He thought he could drop Cody off and return with Charlie.
Someone betrayed them.
Someone had been watching Master Eli since he purchased Nicky.
The carriage was left by the side of the road. Master Eli carried Charlie
along, not wanting to leave him alone. Through the rain, mud, and thunder they
walked two miles into the woods. A post of guards was waiting for Cody at the
sewer.
They pierced his belly first.
Charlie broke free and ran towards his first breeder, whom he knew as a parent,
shrieking and crying. Officials held Master Eli back. Somehow, Cody was able to
dodge the guards. He picked up Charlie, pierced belly and all, and ran.
For one mile he clawed at his neck with his free hand.
He found his chip.
He took off Charlie’s shoe and slipped it inside before stumbling and falling
to the ground.
Master Eli was told that it wasn’t his fault his breeder had tried to escape.
Master Eli was told that the dogs got them first.
But the smiles of those guards and the blood splattered masks of the officials
with them told Master Eli a different story. There were no bodies because there
weren’t enough pieces to bring back.
A few days later, distraught and grieving, he returned to the site with Nicky,
so she could properly say goodbye to the child she had born. He told her it had
been a carriage accident and commanded that she ask no questions. Sobbing and
wailing at the still blood soaked tree, the second breeder placed her hand on
something.
Covered in a thin layer of earth was Charlie’s shoe.
 
 
The complete removal of a breeder’s chip was more involved than simply taking
it out. It meant separating a piece of technology from their every nerve. Under
control for so long, it wasn’t known if a breeder could survive without a chip,
if their bodies knew how to function with the chip completely gone.
Ripping out a chip before it was properly deactivated could kill a breeder from
either shock or government control. There was nothing to go on that confirmed
the lifespan or the survival rate of a breeder without a chip.
When Jared held his chip in the palm of his hand, he could hardly believe it.
“I would die to make you mine, bleed me dry almost every time,” Jensen murmured
into his ear. “I don’t mind, I would come back a thousand times.” His hand
hovered over the chip and Jared felt it disintegrate. He was bleeding, tired,
and whole as he held out his hand.
Ashes in the wind and nothing more.
 
 
There were three methods of time travel; this one, through soil, was the safest
and most accurate.
“The runes won’t hold much longer,” Jensen announced and looked towards Master
Eli. “Come with us.”
One large tunnel had been dug as the breeders recovered from the announcement
every breeder with a chip had received. Master Eli removed their chips with an
object similar to the weapon Jensen had held before. It had hurt; it felt wrong
and the world tilted to the side for a few moments but both breeders continued
breathing. Finished bandaging their necks, Nicky pulled herself towards Master
Eli. She begged him to leave with them. All around wind whipped and howled;
officials were beating at the invisible wall, shouting though silenced by the
silver.
Master Eli looked tired.
He kissed Nicky’s cheek and held her close, then walked her over to where the
Judge was. “You are in good hands here. Better than I could ever provide.”
“That’s not true and you don’t have to stay,” she pleaded, tears streaming down
her face. “What will you do?”
Gently, he led her into the tunnel. Behind the mouth of the opening was a
larger extension, one that had been previously dug and covered up. The Judge
and Nicky would go first. Master Jeff was waiting on the other side.
With a slight smile, Master Eli replied, “Close the gate after you, seal it off
forever. Someone has to do it, isn’t that right Captain?”
Jensen nodded though his eyes were sad. “Not necessary but yes.”
“Well, just to make sure no one follows,” Master Eli added. He turned to Jared.
“You’ll take care of her and yourself for me, little one?”
The younger breeder nodded, and then rushed forward to embrace the Master
tightly. “Thank you,” Jared breathed. A scratchy kiss to his cheek was given
before they pulled apart. He pet Jared on the head and stepped away. Jared
dared to take one final look at the world he was leaving behind. He would not
have noticed what he saw, had it not been for the sound of the transparent wall
cracking. Looking towards it, he saw old Master, his features warped and
bloodied. Jared gasped and flinched; Master Eli pressed him forward, their eyes
meeting once more. Tears in his eyes, Master Eli nodded. He would once more
face his traitor; though now, Master Eli had nothing left to lose.
At the edge, Jared wavered. The passageway was deeper than Jared had first
seen. It was large enough for all of them to walk into but narrow and dim. As
they traveled through time and space they would appear to all as ethereal
shadows.
“I’m scared,” he whispered. Behind him, Master Eli was ready to close them in.
He would pack the earth and defend the site until the wall fell.
Jensen reached out and took Jared’s hand.
He placed Jared in front of him and gave him instructions.
He was to run.
Under no circumstances was he to stop, even when darkness covered everything,
even when he felt the universe stretching and pulsating, and even if he felt
Jensen fall behind. When they hit solid ground, as Jensen vowed they would, he
was to continue running.
 
 
“No one’s gonna fool around with us,” were the final words Jared heard before
disappearing into obscurity. 
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